I'm not usually used to anyone listening...

Ex-Templar, Grey Warden, Bastard Prince, Cheese Connoisseur. I occasionally try to say something brilliant, but no promises... ((Ask and Roleplay Blog ;D)) (( If you are roleplaying with me, PLEASE tag your roleplay responses with #alistairt so I can find it!))

[sugarveiins]

“Oww…” the collide of her chin and shoulder had gently pushed her forward, leaving a small dull pain she tried to massage away. “Careful there, big guy, watch your footing…” For a moment, she couldn’t help but notice how bony his chin had felt, turning away, she wondered if his chin had hurt as much as her shoulder, which wasn’t much but she still wondered.

“If you’re hungry, you could’ve just asked…” She told him with a wide smile, hoping that would set him at ease, but Emma wasn’t known for being being good at easing people, if anything she had a tendency to indirectly making it worse. So, with that, her smile quickly faded away and she bit down on her lip, wondering why she couldn’t just keep her mouth shut sometimes.

[alistairt-blog]

"I... suppose so..." Alistair responded slowly. His brows were raised as his mind wasn't sure how to process the saucy implications behind her words. "Well I, I did spend a decent silver or two so we could get more than our share of food. I suppose if I did a lousy job with the grocery shopping we could resort to eating each other. Morrigan would object to that idea, that's for sure."

The sexual encounters Alistair was dealing with today were throwing him off - all two of them. Desperate attempts at humor were coming naturally to him like raising a shield up against a blade in the thick of battle.

He waved at her to continue with him, his palm rubbing the skin behind his neck as if the friction would work away his embarassment. Alistair had learned not to wait for a reaction to his oafishness and just resume whatever he was supposed to be doing at that time immediately (before a cane whacked his wrist, as his schoolboy years taught him). He never looked back at Emma once while he covered the distance between the market square and the tavern door, unthinkably swinging the door open with such force that it implied his anxiety must have cut off the part of his brain which kept a hold of his consciousness. The barkeeper inside surely didn't appreciate that he had nearly torn the door off its hinges.

"I uh..." The Templar never really knew how to diffuse the awkward moments he ran into. "... Do you want me to carry that grocery basket up to the room for you?

[alistairt-blog]

Alistair cocked his head while he studied her sudden contrast in behavior.

“Are you truly alright?” he asked her cautiously, following now as she took the lead in front. Alistair was fairly certain Emma was up to some sort of devious plan, and the glint in her eyes told him it wasn’t something he’d enjoy, something like a birthday party, or a day where - surprise! - all the darkspawn disappeared from Thedas.

[sugarveiins]

“Nooo…why would there be anything wrong?” She hadn’t felt surprised at his suspicion, he was far too used to it. Everyone always reacted the same way when she usually tired to do something generous or joke around — tried. While it hadn’t always been a good feeling because this indicated no one could really trust her or take her seriously, she learned to deal with this behavior though, even learned how to trick and mislead people using their own suspicion.

…But that probably didn’t help anything, did it? That only proved she couldn’t be trusted. Oh well.

Though, at the moment, she had no desire to trick or manipulate Alistair in any way, for one, they needed to bring the food to their starving group before things got ugly, and for another, Alistair had already gone through the painful encounter with that merchant; he could use a break.

[alistairt-blog]

The hanging sign of the Gnawing Noble Tavern was getting closer and closer.

"So you aren't going to do anything else to me?" Alistair asked. "Pull my hair, even?" He quickly stepped forward caught an apple before it tumbled off the edge of the grocery basket, bumping his chin slightly against the top of Emma's shoulder in the process.

"My apologies!" he blurted quickly - rather than returning the apple to the basket and violating her personal space again Alistair shyly kept the apple to himself.

[alistairt-blog]

He heard something - a giggle? - behind him. Alistair turned on his heel to face Emma, her stoic mask betrayed by the glint in her eyes. For a moment he felt rather self-conscious, understanding that with three gossiping persons in the party it was difficult to hide the stigmatization of his virginity.

“What?” he asked her coyly, feigning playfulness.

[sugarveiins]

Blinking rapidly, she shook her head and refused to say anything else, fearing that if she were to open her mouth even slightly her laughter would escape. So far, she was failing; her lips twitched, threatening to grin, till she could no longer contain it. Her grin wide with cheerfulness, she held onto her stomach has she burst with laughter. Though she wasn’t laughing at him, she hoped he realized that.

Still, as she wiped her tears with the pad of her fingertips, she poked his playfully poked his nose and grabbed the groceries from his hand, she lead the way back to their companions, her smile remained on her face. It had been a great boost of mood.

[alistairt-blog]

Alistair cocked his head while he studied her sudden contrast in behavior.

"Are you truly alright?" he asked her cautiously, following now as she took the lead in front. Alistair was fairly certain Emma was up to some sort of devious plan, and the glint in her eyes told him it wasn't something he'd enjoy, something like a birthday party, or a day where - surprise! - all the darkspawn disappeared from Thedas.

[sugarveiins]

Emma could no longer maintain her blank expression, she cracked on a smile and released a warm giggle at the picture his memory painted in her head. She cupped her mouth to prevent her from laughing further, and prayed her smile would go away soon, in some childish way, she was trying to continue to look displeased, hopefully at a last attempt to convince her friend to go talk to that gorgeous woman, or because it some strange way she would win whatever argument they were having.

Looking back at Alistair, she gnawed on her lips, struggling to keep a serious front. I’m still mad at you, she thought, but deep down, no, no she wasn’t. Her guilt faded, she felt warm and content. 

[alistairt-blog]

He heard something - a giggle? - behind him. Alistair turned on his heel to face Emma, her stoic mask betrayed by the glint in her eyes. For a moment he felt rather self-conscious, understanding that with three gossiping persons in the party it was difficult to hide the stigmatization of his virginity.

"What?" he asked her coyly, feigning playfulness.

[sugarveiins]

“What do you mean?” She muttered, keeping her eyes to the ground, her feet were slowing down, and her pace became sluggish. This was her way of saying, she was very much interested in hearing what he had to say, the slower the walked, the more time they had to talk, even if it did mean her companions had to wait a little longer for their dinner, it’s not like they would get much privacy when there were so many open ears surrounding them. Then again, that was rather hypocritical of her since she had a tendency to eavesdrop herself.

“She wasn’t the type you were looking for? I mean…” How could she word this right? “She wasn’t your type because she came on too strong?” Or had she simply pushed too hard?

[alistairt-blog]

Alistair temporarily stopped his pace, feeling something absolutely terrible and awkward had been initiated between them. Of course, SHE'D remember, he thought. Who wouldn't remember being rejected by a lumbering, improper fool?

"I uh..." He spoke before any rational thought had crossed his mind. "You know how I am, Em. I still think about all the times the Revered Mother slapped my wrist with her cane whenever I even looked at her funny. And if I was, it was probably because I felt guilty stealing a sweetroll for dessert that evening, not... not, you know. Ew."

[alistairt-blog]

How do I talk to girls? One girl talked to me yesterday, and I cried for hours.

Funny, I do the same thing! I suppose that's a mystery man has yet to solve.

[alistairt-blog]

Do girls exist??

Of course they do, Anon. And then you’re going to ask if you or I exist, while I crawl in the fetal position and beseech the Maker to protect me in his loving grace.

[alistairt-blog]

Do boys exist?

Maker, yes! As a matter of fact, I am a gentleman - which is just a more fancier term for calling someone a boy.

[sugarveiins]

“She wasn’t probably interested?” An eyebrow rose and her tone had a hint of irritation and sarcasm behind it. She knew perfectly well that Alistair had also noticed her attempts of flirting, maybe deep down inside he denied it and didn’t believe it, but she knew. “Her breasts were ready to poke your eye out if you would’ve gotten close enough.” Her arms were crossed over her chest, indicating that she had indeed felt a bit annoyed by Alistair’s cowardice toward the beautiful women of this country, while yes, he had lacked experience, she wished to give him a boost, to push him further into becoming more open with his feelings. How else was he going to get a girlfriend at this rate? Just because they were both Grey Wardens didn’t mean they had feelings; didn’t mean they couldn’t search for someone to talk to, or have a silly fling.

Oh…right. Now she could feel guilt erupting from the pit of her stomach when she forgot that ‘flings’ weren’t something her friend took lightly, being raised in the chantry and all. Plus, he was still awkward. He may have been sweet, but very awkward.

“No…” she replied, “I’m sorry.” With a deep breath, her eyes averted from his, she kept her gaze down to the ground as they walked the rest of the way.

[alistairt-blog]

"Well..." Alistair pursed his lips, feeling rather guilty now. "Then I suppose it was a good idea to um, not get so close? I mean, for the sake of my eyesight, of course." He forced on a sheepish grin, though he knew it fell upon a less than impressed audience.

"Don't be sorry, Em. I just..." Alistair sighed. "She ah, didn't seem ... too friendly to you, did she?"

[alistairt-blog]

boobies

No, I do not have them.

:)

[alistairt-blog]

wet frocks

Yes, so long as one doesn’t wear them in cold weather. Ferelden’s kinda nippy at … wrong phrasing.

[hxxt-blog-deactivated20191014]

Let's play the "Yes or No" game.

[alistairt-blog]

You can ask me anything and I’ll answer honestly, but only with yes or no. 

[alistairt-blog]

“Nothing is wrong.” Alistair insisted in a low growl, borderline between irate and a feeble shade of serenity. “Except you know, there’s a starving qu - giant, heh, waiting at the inn, and if we keep Morrigan waiting any longer there’s no telling if those beds will escape her spidery wrath.”

Another woman, middle aged and appearing to be of respectable but modest social status judging by the fine but aged silk of her skirts, had taken interest to a vase displayed at the stall’s front. She temporarily averted the merchant’s attention long enough so the pretty woman didn’t overhear Alistair’s desperately droll excuse.

“I can’t do this, Em.” Alistair hissed in a much lower voice. Definitely not the right time for this!”

[sugarveiins]

“Why not?” She hissed back at him, tugging at his arm in a feeble attempt to drag him back . Though Emma was quite aware of her starving companions and had to agree that when Sten was hungry, it wasn’t very pretty, or Oghren or Morrigan for that matter. The red-head still believed, however, that the two could spare a moment or two to strike up a conversation with the attractive young merchant, after all, when was Alistair going to get another chance at this?

Playing matchmaker had always been her favorite hobby, though it usually always ended horribly, she made no mention of this.

“You don’t like her, is that it?” Finally releasing him from her grip, she took a step in front of him, her hands balled up in fists and pressed to her hips, looking right into his hazel eyes.

[alistairt-blog]

"This is really not a good idea, Emma." Alistair was firm in his suggestion despite the tremble in his voice and the vibrations running up his back. "I just... l-let's go home now, alright?"

Running away and pretending not to feel the merchant cast a half-dejected, half-amused gaze at the back of his head was better than admitting his very limited experience with women. Perhaps Emma wasn't being deliberately mean but Alistair was certain she knew just how... well.. awkward he was with these sorts of things. Or maybe she hadn't learned that through all the times she sent him sobbing in his tent due to a very suggestive comment about his ah... swordhandling.

Emma was following a small distance behind him as they strolled down the market. Alistair was afraid he had angered her - or worse - inspired her to make another attempt in subjugating him to another charming lady.

"I er... sorry," he said over his shoulder, keeping a brisk pace so he could get as far, far away from the Denerim market as he could. "I just uh... sh-she probably wasn't really interested anyway."

[sugarveiins]

 Emma lowered her voice to a whisper, the next comment was more to herself rather than to Alistair, “you’re so shy sometimes…take a risk…what’s wrong…” The corners of her mouth could no longer hold, and her smile faded along with her sentence.

[alistairt-blog]

"Nothing is wrong." Alistair insisted in a low growl, borderline between irate and a feeble shade of serenity. "Except you know, there's a starving qu - giant, heh, waiting at the inn, and if we keep Morrigan waiting any longer there's no telling if those beds will escape her spidery wrath."

Another woman, middle aged and appearing to be of respectable but modest social status judging by the fine but aged silk of her skirts, had taken interest to a vase displayed at the stall's front. She temporarily averted the merchant's attention long enough so the pretty woman didn't overhear Alistair's desperately droll excuse.

"I can't do this, Em." Alistair hissed in a much lower voice. Definitely not the right time for this!"

[sugarveiins]

“Unless you wish to stay here.” She took note of his bright red cheeks and ears, receiving the ear to pull and squeeze them gently…but she resisted it for now. “I mean, are you sure we got everything we need? Did you remember to…tip our lovely friend here?” Emma smiled at the merchant, then back Alistair. She held onto his arm tightly to his arm, in case he tried to escape.

[alistairt-blog]

One could only describe the smile Alistair gave to the merchant as one petrified in humiliation and fear. He tried to tug his arm free from Emma's grip, but the long fingernails sinking through his tunic and into his forearm kept him in place. The girl said nothing, faking attention to her market goods but occassionally sneaking a longing, telltale look at the warrior in front of her stall.

"I-I, I think I was generous enough with the ah... Emma let's go now!" Alistair begged, scanning the bazaar for a shiny bauble, a nice pointy sword - Maker, even alcohol would have been a good idea to keep her distracted!

:

[sugarveiins]

“Oh yes, you sure do like your apples…” She patted him on the shoulder, but her eyes had wondered elsewhere, more notably to the  popping chest of the merchant. “Don’t you, Alistair?” In her eyes, there was a devious glint. She had been mocking him in her head.

[alistairt-blog]

The noises that Alistair made hardly strung into coherent words - instead they came out as short syllables that clashed and hadn't the intelligence to figure parts of them could fit together.

"I was making polite conversation! Althought it er, didn't come out as well as I hoped it would." Alistair shifted the heavy weight of the grocery basket in his hands, his ears positively steaming. "Maker, I'd probably end up getting mauled by a darkspawn before a woman..."

He cut himself short with a longwinded sigh. "Nevermind."

[alistairt-blog]

"That'll be a sovereign, three silvers and twenty bits, ser."

The charming smile bracketed between the brunette's plump, freckled cheeks couldn't get anymore sanguine ... or creepy.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" the merchant asked, and Alistair swore her chest hadn't looked that perky until... Maker, it was completely obvious that she was squeezing them together with her arms.

"N-no." Alistair quickly shook his head, quickly retracting himself away. "I'm good. Th-thank you for your service."

She handed Alistair his basket of groceries, her eyes fixed directly on his. "Lovely apples you have here today." He commented, then groaned as he realized the hidden context behind his words. Alistair shuffled as dignifiably as he could while the girl covered a coquettish giggle behind her palm, but he was no less sooner spared from his embarassment when he caught Emma waiting for him beside the adjacent market stall.

"Don't say a word." he breathed, begging rather than demanding.