What are some tips for new, inexperienced and first time daddies?
I’ll do my best to answer that. I’ve only ever been in my own shoes. And I’ve never been a Dominant. That said….
My first piece of advice would be to not look for a Little/Sub right away. Let me say this right now, and pay attention:
As an inexperienced Daddy/Dom, you could do significant physical, mental, and emotional damage to a Little/Sub if you engage in a Power Play dynamic with NO foundation or skills required to acknowledge her consent and HER power and wellbeing. Doms and Subs have intense bonds at very vulnerable places inside themselves. Have some freaking respect for this lifestyle - it is fire.
My second piece of advice: You need time to “come into your own” before you bring a Little/Sub into your life. Give yourself time to wrap your mind around this complex role, dynamic, lifestyle. How far do you want it to extend into your life? Do you see this internalized through every facet of your life? Or not? As people, our core meanings are directly influential to our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If you want to feel, think, and act like a good Daddy - then you need to figure out what is means to you, personally, to be a Dominant man and/or Daddy.
My personal definition of a Dom: A Man at his greatest. A Man that has walked his journey and saught to conquer himself through growth, self-awareness, and great core values. He is aligned to a meaningful “true north” and will not deviate from it. (*pronouns are always interchangeable in my posts.)
My third piece of advice would be: You need to get acclimated to the community to learn our culture and the real values behind what you seek. What does that mean? It means to learn our slang. Learn how we distinguish ourselves to each other by defining who we are and what we seek. Learn our true VALUES. There is a lot of misinformation and misguided/bad representations of kink culture.
LEARN about the culture you’re wanting to be a part of and associated ones. BDSM, Dom/Sub, DDLG/CGL, ABDL, Pet Play, Age Play, 24/7 Lifestyle, Fetishes… etc etc. In my opinion, everyone involved with DDLG needs a basic working knowledge of BDSM even if they are not interested in it. Dominance and Submission (D/s) core values WILL make you better Daddies and Littles if you apply those to your individual relationship. (Some folks start with ABDL and work backwards, never really touching BDSM. But, Dom/sub values and rules are important and directly influential to your ability to be an effective Daddy and Little!!!! Safe words, Aftercare, Checking in, Tokens of Ownership, Respect between Couples, Rewards and Punishment - those come directly from BDSM scene play, folks!!!)
This post could probably be considered a Part One, with much more to follow some day.
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