you are pulchritudinous

and so is everyone else, you all deserve love

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

writing commissions - soon to open!

Hi!

I will write any content, ship, POV, or stories with OCs for She-Ra, Avatar The Last Airbender, The Legends Of Korra, Harry Potter, and Percy Jackson. For any other fandom, please ask - I’ll work something out if I can!

I’m thinking $1 for 5,000 words, and from there +50c per 1,000.

I’m doing commissions in order to help out my friend, @exel-bob, get some of her much-needed transgender surgery. She’s 16 and this could really, really help her out, so all donations are VERY appreciated. Please consider DMing me or putting a message in my inbox - thank you!

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

If possible, please message me as soon as possible! This will help me start writing the works early, and there is limited time! Thank you all so much!

[lesbianpwnieswithweapons]

i’m gonna make pasta

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

invite me over, i love that stuff

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

I asked my kids if they’d prefer a secret garden or a secret library and my son shook his head and was like “I don’t trust the secret gardeners and librarians”

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Me: what if there aren’t any gardeners or librarians.

Son: there’s always a librarian. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And it’s a garden, there has to be someone taking care of it or it isn’t really a garden.

Me:

Me: this was supposed to be lighthearted

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Daughter: don’t trust the secret librarian.

Son: any librarian who hoards a library to themselves is hiding something.

Daughter: /nods seriously/

Me: why are you two talking as if from experience should I be concerned

[skiplo-wave]

The kids are right Jazz

[supreme-leader-stoat]

But what if I want to be the secret librarian?

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Me: what if you were the secret librarian?

Son: wouldn’t be a secret library. I have nothing to hide.

Daughter: so not a secret librarian. A good librarian.

Me: you two are on a wavelength I can’t understand

[brawltogethernow]

What a way to find out your kids went on a whole-ass portal fantasy adventure at some point.

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

hi im the librarian

[ask-the-charming-siblings]

What secrets do you hide?

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

would you really like to know?

[ask-the-charming-siblings]

That is why I ask

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

here’s how you get to the library.

first, go to your local library, and make sure the librarian is a woman who looks to be mid-twenties with red curly hair. go to the Harry Potter books, then get Half-blood Prince. get The Silver Chair from the narnia section. lastly, you’ll need The Secret of Red Gate Farm, a nancy drew book.

get the books, and somewhere in the conversation with the librarian, mention that you’re fond of travelling to foreign places and reading what they have to offer. also recite at least two bars of poetry. she’ll give you the magic copies of the books, if she thinks you’re trustworthy.

when you get home, wait till it’s midnight and everyone else is asleep. there must be a full moon and a thunderstorm that night. light six tea candles in a circle and hold the books in one hand, in the other must be an offering. i like grapefruit juice and bagels with herbs mixed into the cream cheese.

open the books to page 36 then read the 36th word on each six times. chant them under your breath but keep the volume and tempo rising. stop when you’re at a normal speaking level.

and if i like the offerings you’ve brought, i’ll let you in. then you can share my secrets.

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

update - i have rebuilt my library. jazz send the kids. i just wanna talk.

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

JOKES ON YOU MY KIDS COULD KICK YOUR ASS

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

*scoff*

As if, Jazz.

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

I asked my kids if they’d prefer a secret garden or a secret library and my son shook his head and was like “I don’t trust the secret gardeners and librarians”

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Me: what if there aren’t any gardeners or librarians.

Son: there’s always a librarian. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And it’s a garden, there has to be someone taking care of it or it isn’t really a garden.

Me:

Me: this was supposed to be lighthearted

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Daughter: don’t trust the secret librarian.

Son: any librarian who hoards a library to themselves is hiding something.

Daughter: /nods seriously/

Me: why are you two talking as if from experience should I be concerned

[skiplo-wave]

The kids are right Jazz

[supreme-leader-stoat]

But what if I want to be the secret librarian?

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Me: what if you were the secret librarian?

Son: wouldn’t be a secret library. I have nothing to hide.

Daughter: so not a secret librarian. A good librarian.

Me: you two are on a wavelength I can’t understand

[brawltogethernow]

What a way to find out your kids went on a whole-ass portal fantasy adventure at some point.

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

hi im the librarian

[ask-the-charming-siblings]

What secrets do you hide?

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

would you really like to know?

[ask-the-charming-siblings]

That is why I ask

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

here’s how you get to the library.

first, go to your local library, and make sure the librarian is a woman who looks to be mid-twenties with red curly hair. go to the Harry Potter books, then get Half-blood Prince. get The Silver Chair from the narnia section. lastly, you’ll need The Secret of Red Gate Farm, a nancy drew book.

get the books, and somewhere in the conversation with the librarian, mention that you’re fond of travelling to foreign places and reading what they have to offer. also recite at least two bars of poetry. she’ll give you the magic copies of the books, if she thinks you’re trustworthy.

when you get home, wait till it’s midnight and everyone else is asleep. there must be a full moon and a thunderstorm that night. light six tea candles in a circle and hold the books in one hand, in the other must be an offering. i like grapefruit juice and bagels with herbs mixed into the cream cheese.

open the books to page 36 then read the 36th word on each six times. chant them under your breath but keep the volume and tempo rising. stop when you’re at a normal speaking level.

and if i like the offerings you’ve brought, i’ll let you in. then you can share my secrets.

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

update - i have rebuilt my library. jazz send the kids. i just wanna talk.

[friendly-animals]

(Source)

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

i am in LOVE

[vittyyluvscookies]

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

[submissivefeminist]

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.

[chaotichowlite]

‘Vagina-owners’

[anxiousnerd]

Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

[sexylibrarian1]

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

[occupyvenus]

Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

[phantoms-lair]

There is actually a test for that last one!

Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesn’t change by any great margin, you’re fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room

[taysweetbae]

reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners

[greedyagain]

The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.

[justwritingscibbles]

Reblogging because I didn’t know this and it needs to be shared.

[microwaved-cheese-sandwich]

[cheritzssebba]

@all-is-pulchritudinous @exel-bob so funny I found this exactly as we were talking about it??

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

lol i remember this --

[kindagayandferal]

Please please please can we get this to happen. This wasn't my post on Twitter but I agree wholeheartedly. Like, do u guys know how badass it would be to have catradora be the first wlw to be the top ship of the year. It would truly be a holy fuck moment.

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

writing commissions - soon to open!

Hi!

I will write any content, ship, POV, or stories with OCs for She-Ra, Avatar The Last Airbender, The Legends Of Korra, Harry Potter, and Percy Jackson. For any other fandom, please ask - I’ll work something out if I can!

I’m thinking $1 for 5,000 words, and from there +50c per 1,000.

I’m doing commissions in order to help out my friend, @exel-bob, get some of her much-needed transgender surgery. She’s 16 and this could really, really help her out, so all donations are VERY appreciated. Please consider DMing me or putting a message in my inbox - thank you!

[autis-dick-deactivated20231125]

Guess who finally found an illegal site to watch Alta and Lok.. and guess who's Crying Because of the fucking nostalgia :D

Seriously I was 8? Maybe younger or older

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

i felt that

[autis-dick-deactivated20231125]

Azula and Asami were my gay crushes-

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

man, someone who gets me...

thinkin you were straight, till the fire nation attacked -

[autis-dick-deactivated20231125]

I'm gay

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

oh my god me too

[autis-dick-deactivated20231125]

Guess who finally found an illegal site to watch Alta and Lok.. and guess who's Crying Because of the fucking nostalgia :D

Seriously I was 8? Maybe younger or older

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

i felt that

[autis-dick-deactivated20231125]

Azula and Asami were my gay crushes-

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

man, someone who gets me...

thinkin you were straight, till the fire nation attacked -

[autis-dick-deactivated20231125]

Guess who finally found an illegal site to watch Alta and Lok.. and guess who's Crying Because of the fucking nostalgia :D

Seriously I was 8? Maybe younger or older

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

i felt that

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

Visit Original Link

…I sing now

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

why are you reblogging my trash singing, rose-

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[hockeylvr42]

The faster you scroll the better it gets

[dahbeeh]

i'm am idiot and i love myself so I scrolled up and down this post multiple times

[chuuyaisminebye-deactivated2020]

I love this-

[tigerlily-monroe-deactivated202]

🐯

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

im giggling like a 3yo having a sugar high i love it

[thepersonalquotes]

[kindnotestoself]

[it’s okay if all you did today was survive]

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

@jo 

[lofijazz]

reminder that if ur biphobic or panphobic you should def be hitting that block button

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

|  best feeling in the world: giving and getting validations

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

IT GOT BETTER

[all-is-pulchritudinous]

|  best feeling in the world: giving and getting validations