Welcome to the Black Parade: has a flair for the dramatic, doesn’t know how to do a smoky eye, was in the marching band in high school, daddy issues.
Sleep: has insomnia, PTSD, nightmares, is self deprecating, just wants to go the fuck to sleep
Destroya: probably gay, moans like a bitch during sex, pretty fucking hardcore, shit immune system though, lives for anarchy
House of Wolves: will burn in hell (or believes they will), is a bad mother fucker, has a sister who should be scared, pyromaniac, “Catholic”
Vampire Money: all over the place, drinks a lot but parties like a beast, has a Bowie obsession, likes driving fast and loud music
Na Na Na: really artistic, pansexual, likes to scream lyrics, rebel at heart, probably still wears bandanas, sunglasses and boots all day every day, fuck the government
Cancer: is dying, will die, all of your friends will die, actually doesn’t have any friends, really depressed, in pain, martyr
S.I.N.G: activist, owns jeggins, would join an underground gang if they had the balls, likes neon things for some unknown reason
Early Sunsets Over Monroeville: loves zombies, probably owns a Hawaiian shirt, really quiet and doesn’t talk much, hangs out in shopping centres/malls but never buys anything
Demolition Lovers: is probably part of an underground gang, has to go away for “work” a lot, has a shotgun in the trunk of their car, teal, unrequited love
Helena: recent death in the family, super fucking dramatic, lots of makeup, always wears black (maybe some red), nail polish is always chipped, imagines/fantasises things that will never happen all the time
Teenagers: super punk, goes to concerts all the time, will break shit just for fun, has authority issues, probably friends with a lot of delinquents, is a delinquent, doesn’t read books, drinks a lot
Famous Last Words: is constantly having an existential crisis, really committed when it comes to relationships, cowboy boots, goes outside at midnight for no reason
I Don’t Love You: always heartbroken, never cuts hair, plays guitar, goes on road trips when things get difficult, super emotional, cries a lot
I’m Not Okay: is still in high school, I don’t care if they’re 39 they’re still in high school, hates high school, does stupid shit all the time because fuck it, high school, is not okay, is friends with weird people, high school
Mama: PTSD, self deprecating, mama’s boy/girl/person, has a sick sense of humour, laughs manically for no reason, cutthroat
You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison: probably gay, went to prison, had a fuck tonne of bitches (I’m kidding, they were actually the bitch to a fuck tonne of other people), can’t adjust, has issues with family
Headfirst for Halos: epic, is not okay, always trying to think positively but is screaming inside, thinks about doing stupid shit all the time (i.e. Putting a gun to their head)
Vampires Will Never Hurt You: screams a lot, has a vampire fettish, hates Twilight with a passion, has never gone outside, wouldn’t mind dying if I was a wooden stake to the heart, sucks dick
The Ghost of You: fought in WWII, had a pretty girlfriend, wears round glasses with gold rims, is tall and lanky, has a brother, gets shot in the chest, screams, dies
The Light Behind Your Eyes: is finding ways to deal with severe depression, cries a bit but quietly, reads a lot of books, all their friends are dead, trying to stay strong despite the fact they’re dying inside, sings like an angel
Give ‘em Hell Kid: lives life fast, probably has killed someone, wears red and like khaki green, shouts a lot, belongs in a 2005 MTV short, lives life on the edge, fatalistic
To The End: has read Dante’s Inferno, is a mafioso, fatalistic, has probably organised the death of many people, likes to drink cyanide, sleeps a lot, owns diamond jewellery, likes cake
The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You: has no faith in life, likes western movies, will yell at you, has applied for a license to kill, likes to sleep with people (like nap I mean)
Thank You For The Venom: likes snakes, has probably almost OD’d, hates the doctors, is stubborn, death obsessed, has probably stabbed someone, wears striped long sleeve t-shirts, hates running, hopes to be shot one day
Hang ‘Em High: is death obsessed, clinically insane, screams a lot, always makes a lot of aesthetic statements about things with black and white connotations, Catholic, fuck off
It’s Not a Fashion Statement It’s a Fucking Death Wish: swears in front of their parents, wears their mum’s clothes, is obsessed with killing enemies, is always predicting their death to be soon.
Cemetery Drive: all too real, has a girlfriend, likes to hang out in cemeteries, girlfriend has issues and ended her life, now has issues because of it, drinks a lot, really fucking depressed
I Never Told You What I Do For A Living: is 100% a serial killer, sociopath, also has OCD, scary as shit
The End: is dying, but isn’t too sad, wishes to attend their own funeral as a ghost, has no self confidence, can’t be fucking bothered growing up, doesn’t give a shit, is very chill, wears yellow accessories
Dead!: Is dead, is having a party about being dead, wondering if all the assholes in their life are in hell, no one actually likes them, laughs at inappropriate moments, is a great dancer
This Is How I Disappear: really fucking dramatic, will be upset and disappear if you break up with them, dramatic, is a part time satanist, will make a voodoo doll of you if you fuck with them, candles
The Sharpest Lives: goes out late at night, never showers, drinks heavily, would probably go cannibal if it was legal, always in pain, lives life on the fucking edge, will burn large objects, has sinus issues
Disenchanted: is constantly torn, never actually cries, writes books, likes to take chances, likes birds, got in trouble with the police for some stupid but really fun shit, friends need to get their shit together and learn a lesson
Bulletproof Heart: Gravity doesn’t mean to much to them, has self confidence but not enough to stop running away, runs away a lot, wears really funky colourful clothing, is very kind but misunderstood
Planetary GO!: goes to a lot of cool night clubs, knows how to fucking party, is still very punk on the inside, sweats a lot (bc they dance a lot), jumps up and down for no fucking reason
The Only Hope For Me Is You: is obsessed with being remembered, only has one friend, is kinda depressed and really needs someone to hold onto, but is also really questioning life and society, wants to run away to a more aesthetic place
Party Poison: speaks fluent Japanese (cough I mean Weeaboo), watches a lot of anime, loves Kpop and Jpop fashion, will party but goes to the weirdest parties, dyes their hair, fuck the bullshit meaning of life they do what they want
Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back: is a badass, known for being a badass, stole your mum’s car and took you on the best date ever, wears a lot of leather, ready for a fight, probably gets into a lot of fights anyway, probably once looked like Danny from Greece
SCARECROW: is probably on LSD, smokes a lot of weed, is really chill, too fucking chill, wears psychedelic t-shirts, is actually a philosophical genius, reads a lot of poetry
Summertime: they might go outside if it’s summer, listens to music with headphones on full blast, goes on the train a lot, likes to walk around listening to music and pretends they’re making the aesthetic parts of the music video they’re listening to, soft kitty
The Kids From Yesterday: is constantly nostalgic, loves Star Wars and Queen, always having flashbacks, wears yellow and read things, feels misunderstood, trying to figure out the meaning of life
Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us: likes Fall Out Boy when they had long song titles, has issues, a lot of issues, ugly screams a lot, doesn’t care, wears dark denim jackets, hates this girl who fucked their brother
Drowning Lessons: has a lot of anxiety, constantly worried, always running away from problems and situations, can’t swim, always has regrets, has pink things
Our Lady Of Sorrows: was in a gang once, loves to get into switchblade fights, is really scary and bloodthirsty, believes in pagan gods, but will protect you, blood blood blood.
Skylines and Turnstiles: saw 9/11 happen, life was changed because of it, decided that they wanted to be in a band, made a band with brother and his fren, got some dreadlocked weed smoking fanboy to join, the drummer is an asshole x3, breaks up after 12 years, deems it to be a good idea, scared of butane
This Is The Best Day Ever: this is the worst day ever, has no rhythm, is really confused with what is going in, went to hospital a lot and hated it, screams a bit, is a bit scared of needles, studded belts, suck dick
Cubicles: will die alone (or at least they think), hates their job, the only thing that entertains them at work is people gossiping at the water cooler, is actually having a severe existential crisis
Boy Division: is friends with people who would have a fucking rocking funeral, stalks school girls, looks dead but only dresses that way, likes to sing about California, paranoid all the time
Tomorrow’s Money: fell in love with a vampire, slightly aggressive, can surf, stopped screaming three years ago, wants to be a doctor, hates people who are thought of as heroes, ruined converses
AMBULANCE: screams in an aesthetically pleasing way, thinks you know nothing, super weird, goes out after dark, likes to drive big cars, wouldn’t mind driving, is super reliable even when they let you down
Gun.: was probably conscripted into the military, actually hates violence and guns, wants to stay at home all the time, likes to call the shots, owns an old uniform that they’ll never throw out
The World Is Ugly: likes Blade Runner and fairy lights, thinks weird people are very beautiful, insanely observant of other people’s behaviours, wears knee high socks and converses, hates the world because it’s terrible
Kiss The Ring: belongs in an alternate universe where it’s still the medieval time but rock bands exist, is probably a contract killer, likes to overthrow the king every five years, has really fucked up logic about why it’s okay to kill a lot of people, cutthroat
Make Rooom!!!!: probably goes to discos, does not panic at them, actually has some self confidence but always gets into stupid situations and flails, wears the tightest pants in the world, wears earrings with crosses on them
Surrender the Night: constantly lonely, likes to drive long distances to think, lost a loved one, has cool patches on their jacket, has been to hospital twice, likes to listen to you, always keeps secrets unless you fuck with them
Burn Bright: likes going to the city just to look at all the lights, walks around and thinks that certain things would look nice on Tumblr, unstable, can be aggressive, very in tune with their surroundings, kind of a Buddhist
Common People: your average person, always struggling financially, wears a lot of blue, always falls in love with shallow rich girls for no reason, really just wants to live however the fuck they want
Every Snowflake Is Different: loves children’s TV shows, goes to the snow every year, loves winter and hot chocolate, will cry if you take their toys away, will be a good parent, too busy having fun to give a fuck
Desolation Row: got beat up at school, is now in a cutthroat gang, spits a lot, wears a lot of eyeliner, likes Grease but is also super punk rock, hates wearing underwear, likes to break shit all the time
Desert Song: is recovering from a drug addiction, is still in a really dark place, trying to stay strong, is questioning the meaning of life, probably had teal roots at some stage
Black Dragon Fighting Society: drinks juice when they’re killing because it’s fucking delicious, really likes dragons, reads too much, hates society, would run away but that would mean no books and no juice so no fucking way, likes hot pink and black
Zero Percent: hates everyone, would kill everyone, really hates people, does whatever the fuck they want, will kill everybody, will put zero effort into school or work, does their own thing.
Mastas of Ravenkroft: worried about growing old, has no self confidence, will only have sex if the lights are turned off, feels very old at a very young age because of shitty bones, also has no fucking chill
F.T.W.W.W.: fuck society, is super digital, but also really retro, always tells people to kiss their ass, lives in a futuristic society, likes robots, has a licking fettish, likes to destroy shit, will probably spit randomly
We Don’t Need Another Song About California: Summertime’s long lost twin, really doesn’t give a shit about California, but likes the sun, probably lives in Florida, hates magazines, probably has a fake name, thinks that nothing matters
All The Angels: is dying, has minutes left, girlfriend has issues because she’s a little risky, everything has gone wrong, everyone is upset, probably died three years ago, never went to heaven, likes pretty flowers and dead things
Romance: a complete and utter 1800s Romantic, has probably ready Frankenstein, wants to go on epic journeys, never showers, likes spices, old fashioned, would probably get into the steampunk fashion thing
Blood: is forever in the 1920s, was a war hero but hates themself, laughs manically sometimes, has a thing for blood but hates vampires, 90% human wreckage, 23% awful fuck, 8% bad at math, 14% clueless
