INSPIRATION VIA @owlrolls
My last post was basically Portugal in a tree and Arthur being done with life during a convo with someone. Then I got inspired by owlrolls (Yes you, thanks nugget), now here are the top 5 obscure crimes Porteng have done together as documented by yours faithfully Alfred F. Jones, America.
Alfred: Well, in context the least obscure was the ticket Arthur had for almost accidently running over someone after João fell out of a tree attempting to become the pigeon, he could do a very interesting hoot sound... Don't drink kids.
*Peter (Sealand) raises his hand in the audience but Tino (Finland) puts it back down*
Hetalia news reporter: You say that this isn't the most obscure?
Alfred: So vandalism is next.
Hetalia news reporter: That sounds rather normal?
Alfred: They spray painted the image of Danny Devito on the backs of everyone's suits. But when they tried to escape together they were caught and were believed to be suspects of nearby vandalism of the well...the lower region of men as famous landmarks. We still don't know if they did that or not— tbh it's one of my personal favourites.
*Camera zooms over to a close up of France smiling*
Alfred: They sparred with swords for a free sample at a supermarket.
Hetalia news reporter: Well...
Alfred: Blindfolded to Don't stop me now by Queen.
Alfred: Arthur managed to magic everyone into pigeons. And with Portugal "set us free into one of his government members House" though I cannot name them. They got charged for climbing in down the chimney. But they never talked about it again —
Hetalia news reporter: What do you think goes through their heads when this happens? How long were you pigeons for?
Alfred: 4 weeks and I think this is why you don't suppress those personifications with the desire to prank with seriousness or to be chill.
Alfred: Now I don't know if this should be number 1 because there's a lot of speculation. I mean they have done normal crimes such as toss people they hate around and such. However... This, is uniquely different that I can't sleep if I start to think. But you see I heard from Ned (The Netherlands) who said he asked Antonio (Spain) who said he asked Francis (France) who said he asked Allistor (Scotland) who knows everything apparently, that well... They were caught doing the birds and the bees in a Mario/ Princess Peach couple costume on famous English landmarks. Now. Apparently, they attempted to escape, and they is photographic evidence of Arthur in a pink dress with a sherlock scarf being bridal carried by João in a Mario hat and shorts with no top. Certainly to say don't drink kids again. But... There was, I heard, no evidence they were drunk... Which to think they made a willing conscious decision to— well yes, I believe it as I once came across a photo Arthur had at a glance which had them in the costume...
*Tino is covering the ears of a confused Peter*
*Alfred looks into camera with a look of fear*
Hetalia news reporter: *Cries in wth*
*Door slams open Arthur enters dragging João along*
Arthur *angrily*: What the hell are you talking about!? How is any of that accurate or acceptable to say!? What is that!
*Alfred and News reporter scream*
João: Are they 'wrong' though? Pink suits you...
Arthur: 5 seconds and Alfred has another crime to add to the list. 5. 4. 3. 2—
Arthur *to Alfred*: If you post that you'll regret it too.
Alfred: so wait... It's all true, I was half making it up.... ARTHUR!?
*Arthur turns bright red*
Arthur: Sweet Honey Ice-cream Tea....
Alfred: mmmm that sounds like a great treat except for the tea.
Peter: What does the birds and the bees mean exactly? I never heard that term.
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