a moment with you — ft001
Fair is not a word Auggie would use to describe himself as of late. In fact, that was the furthest thing he’d even think about using in reference to himself. Because the way he was acting, particularly toward one of the most important people in his life, could only be categorized as completely selfish and… well unfair (and various other synonyms).
(He realized this fact long after he’d last spoken to her, when he’d gotten out of his slump, and if he could properly punch himself, he probably would have)
He’d been having a hard time managing this distance thing as of late, ever since his mom found out and ‘made him’ break up with Teddy. His mom finding out had been like the flicking on of a timer marking the countdown to the end of things. And while his mother had been pissed and threatened to go to his father, he’d convinced her enough to think that he’d ended things, and she’d believed him (his mother had always had a soft spot for him. His dad would always say it’s where Auggie got his sensitivity from).
But even if he’d dodged the bullet, that feeling of dread, of things coming to an end way too quickly never left. And when it came down to it, the reason behind it, besides the whole mom thing, had a lot to do with everything he felt for Teddy. It was all so much, so overwhelming, and just so. fast. that he didn’t know what to do with it sometimes. And being away from her, and having to strategize their entire relationship just added on to that.
He moped a lot, and whined, and constantly brought up the fact that he missed her and thought about how much easier it would be if he just hadn’t met her at all (which was ridiculous because his life was infinitely better because Teddy Graham was in it) or if they just gave in to the inevitable (because try as they might, deep down, he had a feeling that when their fathers found out it wouldn’t be pretty) and ended things before they were ended for them. (He was pro at self-sabotage, clearly)
That had to hurt.
They already had all those odds he liked to bring up stacked against them, but the one thing that always got them through was that constant belief they shared that they’d make it out of this bruised but not defeated, that they’d survive these hard times and make it out into the sun together, forever.
He’d picked up on it after learning that she believed this fiercely, blindly, and fearlessly. This had been very early on when they decided to do this for real and when they’d figured out just how serious they’d gotten without even realizing it. And he’d been so taken with her and his heart had raced so fast that he, just as blindly, agreed to it and made it his belief, too. And it worked. And it got them through.
So now, for one of them, for him to begin to doubt, for him to hurt her like that, with that one particular thing… he kind of felt like the biggest asshole.
And if he could, he’d show up at her doorstep to make it up to her, he would in a heartbeat.
For now, however, he had to settle for this.
As he walked over to his Mac, he thought about how they hadn’t talked in six days. No calls, no texts, no FaceTime… not a peep. And wow, he really was shitty.
He plopped down onto his desk chair, one leg propped up and curled into his chest as he clicked around for the FaceTime icon and hovered over her name. He closed his eyes, sighing heavily before clicking to call her.
It had been six days. Six days.
Six days since she’d heard Auggie’s voice, and six days since she’d seen Auggie’s face from anywhere besides a couple pictures or videos on her phone or a split second when he would show up on her television screen like a flash, there one second and gone by the time you’d blinked.
And it hurt. It ached inside of her, gnawed and chewed through her like a monster in the early stages of waking up. She felt stupid, really, because she knew it worked both ways. She knew that there was no such thing as a one-way phone, and she knew that she could have called him or texted him or tracked him down just as easily as he could have.
The blame couldn’t solely be on him, because it was weighing down just as heavily on herself. And that was her fault. Because she could have done something, she could have tried to save them… and she didn’t.
When Auggie’s mother had found out, whatever planetary alignment their relationship had been fearfully – but comfortably – resting upon had fallen out from under them. Suddenly, Jupiter as in place of Neptune, Venus had fallen from the sky like a meteor, and the moon was hurdling toward them with a terrified look on its face like that silent film from over a hundred years ago. Nothing was the way that it was supposed to be, not anymore, and that was, in part, Teddy’s fault.
Auggie had texted her, and Auggie had terrified her when he had. He wasn’t wrong, though, that was the thing. They had met each other a little over a year before, and everything – everything – had taken flight from that point forward, and they hadn’t stopped to refuel.
It’s not like you could really blame Teddy for falling for him as hard and as fast as she had, could you? Auggie had a smile that made her weak in the knees, a voice that bounced around her head for hours and hours. She wanted, more than anything, to surround herself with him.
The fact of the matter was that it didn’t matter where Auggie came from. It didn’t matter who his family was, and it didn’t matter that they were some modern-aged Romeo and Juliet with a less dramatic and gruesome ending to their story. None of that mattered, because Auggie mattered. Sure, she’d tried to keep her distance for a short while, just as he had tried and keep his distance from her, as well. That didn’t last long, though, and she couldn’t be surprised by that.
They were drawn to each other. They were magnetized together. And it felt right – that was the thing. It felt right. And the fact that it felt like it was the way it was supposed to b trumped everything else in their path.
Or it used to, at least. She wasn’t so sure anymore.
Because now Auggie’s mom knew about them, and Auggie’s mom was demanding tht the two of them break up so that Auggie can be thrown into some “more proper” girl’s arms. And Teddy couldn’t let that happen. She would not let that happen.
Auggie, plain and simple, was hers. And she was his. That was the way that it always had been, and that was the way it would stay. She had told him that she was going to fight for him, and she had told him that she wasn’t going to give up on them, and she’d meant that with everything she had in her. The idea of waking up in the morning without belonging to August Hunter killed her more than anything his mother said about her ever could.
Had she ruined it, though? Had she ruined them?
Six days. It had been six days. Onetwothreefourfivesix.
Just as the thoughts got too loud for her head to handle and she was ready to pluck up the courage to call him herself once and for all, her phone lit up with an incoming FaceTime call.
Auggie.
Her heart caught itself somewhere between her chest and her throat, and she nearly dropped her phone on her way to answering it with shaking fingers and a racing pulse. She pressed down to accept the call, keeping her phone in front of her as she waited for his face to shot up on the other side.
And then he did. A little pixelated and on a screen rather than standing right in front of her, but that didn’t matter. Auggie was here. That was what mattered.
“Hey stranger,” she spoke up after a second or two, biting down on her bottom lip for a second. “Hi,” her third word came out, as if it wasn’t exactly what she’d already said two words before.
A beat. “I should have called you. Or come to see you. Or anything, really, because… I’m not cut out for this whole one hundred and forty-four hours of silence thing.”
Another beat.
“Are you okay?”
