Uptown funked me up

I flashed my tits and got Jerry beads+

[ffscharlotte]

Taking notes is a good idea — I think you’re on the right track. Plus, you’re hot so that gets you a couple steps further than the Starbucks guy.

[allensyeah]

Does note taking come off as adorable or creepy? Whoa, me? That's all you. I think it's reflecting off of you and I'm getting some of the rays.

[ctrlcarmen]

"I’ve just never met a quality guy named Kyle. The latest was a total fuck up, if I’m being honest."

[allensyeah]

"What did he do? You can talk to me".

[drakehore]

I gotchu b, next time I hear that word it’ll be a one person turn up. Maybe even a strobe light or two. Yikes, looks like that won’t be happening. 

[allensyeah]

Just keep glow sticks on you at all time, and think of Deadmau5 songs the whole time. You could become famous. Hell, I'd join in just because. Now that we're talking about it, it does sound like a lot of fun. Can we have a two person rave?

[hqmuses-deactivated20160217]

I always smoke that kush real good every single day of my life and look how much of a good person I am. I love life.

[allensyeah]

4/20 all day, every day! If you're a good person, you should share the wealth. By that, I mean something other than weed because I don't smoke that.

[prcmctheus]

Currently? Hello no. I could be spending my money on better things, like, that twenty dollars for diapers could be going to more important things like paint brushes or—-I don’t know, tacos. Maybe when I’m older I’ll want a little me running around but as for now, it’s a definite no. Listen, man, the great thing about how fucking populated this planet is is that if you don’t want kids, there’s hundreds of thousands of other people keeping the human race going. So it’s not like you have to get a girl pregnant.

[allensyeah]

Tacos, definitely tacos. I mean, you could buy out Taco Bell with the money you'd spend on a baby. They're only good for one thing; making cute youtube videos. If I bit someones finger, it would not be cute. See, I totally get that, and for you that's an option, but what I'm saying is that it's not up to me because would women even want to reproduce with me?

[museaesthetics-blog-blog]

I don’t have one yet, but I was thinking of getting one. You can be the first one to see it, though.

[allensyeah]

Dude, that's so rad! Now I have to do something awesome back, but I got nothing except, uh, if the tiger eats me, you'll have time to run.

[ctrlcarmen]

“You have an interesting thought process.”

[allensyeah]

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you! Tell me though, why do you think someone named Kyle is an asshole?"

[ffscharlotte]

Are you taking notes on what it takes to get my number?

[allensyeah]

What's the right answer so that I can get your number?

[princesstigcrlily]

Your sister huh? I don’t know if I buy the sister excuse but you had me at popcorn.

[allensyeah]

Puberty is a tough time for everyone okay? Don't judge me, er I mean, my sister. We can make it with my popcorn machine, it's super cool!

[drakehore]

I don’t know, do you really want me to come up to you and be like, “yo Papi, whatsup?” I feel like a few questions would arise amongst friends but if you feel like this is a good idea I’m all for it. Mmm, yes I do remember. So I should scream every time I hear Papi?

[allensyeah]

Not just screaming, like jump around and go completely nuts. That'll get those guys going real fast. Well, you can call you papi, but that'd get you strange looks from everyone who heard it...including me.

[ctrlcarmen]

"We all know an asshole named Kyle, am I right?"

[allensyeah]

"When I think of assholes, I think of the name Chad. Maybe it's just because of Nickelback, but maybe not".

[ffsdiamond]

Every dude just seems to lose their mind right when I even get in their vicinity. Like, I’m that hot. I’ll find somewhere.

[allensyeah]

I can tell, I feel like I need to fan myself whenever I'm near you, you're so hot.

[hqmuses-deactivated20160217]

Listening to Drake while you’re high is the most emotional experience of your life.

[allensyeah]

It's like reliving every one of your break-ups and then figuring out the true meaning of life; you only live once, so smoke that kush real good.

[prcmctheus]

You know, having kids always seemed to like a solid plan sometime down the line since coming from a large family, but after many annoying experiences during work and out, I’m coming to realize that children are little satanic demons in disguise. I mean—kudos to women for carrying around that watermelon sized thing in them for nine straight months and then having to eject it out of your body. But it’s just—-holy shit, children throw the biggest fits and the crying is some high frequency pitch that’ll most likely never make you hear anything higher than that again. Long story short, children under the age of eight are menaces and you shouldn’t let them run without supervision at museums. The more you know.

[allensyeah]

So, do you still want to have kids? Reading that, that did not make me want to help in the reproduction process to keep our population going. Not that that's exactly up to me but still.

[museaesthetics-blog-blog]

I’ll have to keep that in mind.

[allensyeah]

Do you have a pet tiger? What did you name them? Can I pet it?

[ffscharlotte]

He wasn’t unattractive, I just wouldn’t fuck him, y’know? But it has nothing to do with his looks—well not completely.

[allensyeah]

So 50% he's ugly and 50% bad technique. Gotcha. Would it have helped if the drink was free?

[drakehore]

Yeah, seriously I just came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now. I luh you too, Papi. Yikes— that was worse than I thought. Let’s make a vow that those words will never pass our lips again, alright?

[allensyeah]

But if not that, what will we say instead? Hey, remember how on Pee Wee Herman's show, there was a magic word where if you said it - everyone lost their shit? Papi should be that word for you.