i probably should have put this on tumblr earlier, but i have a neocities website! ill (eventually) create more stuff for it in the future, but for now, this should succinctly tell you everything you need to know about me :)
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this is my main account on tumblr! i honestly just post whatever i want, but almost all of it is art and sharing my love for the fandoms i'm in :)
for more kpop and fashion related things, head to @whatadolling !!
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if i remember to, i will use these tags when posting something
#alliemierambles - textposts and me talking about random stuff #alliemakes - art/graphics/transparents/anything creative
i didnāt really have a thought process for this artwork other than: impurities by le sserafim -> i wish i was a more vulnerable person with the people i love and stop trying to be perfect and someone i'm not, but i'm scared of my cracks and impurities -> its pride month soon :o -> i want to try a new way of rendering
iām actually bisexual, i just wanted to use the lesbian flag since it is very pretty. a lot of pride flags are gorgeousā¦
was too busy with college entrance exam reviews to post about non-demonium and the vd... but i watched it yesterday. IT'S SO. SO PEAKKKKK
the parallels between amane's murder and her mother's constant abuse. the way her faith was built into her from birth, how she was made to believe it was the reason she existed. the way amane holds on to her faith because throwing it away would mean she killed her mother for nothing and her entire life was a joke. the fact she's slowly reflecting on herself and her actions and how shidou treated her with kindness...
please vote her forgiven everyone... she truly deserves it out of everyone in milgram...
also. the neverland cover is so GOOOOOD best trial 3 cover by far. i love how her voice changes from deadpan and soft to loud and lively minami tanaka really ate this cover. the instrumental is so spooky and dynamic. will be streaming it and non-demonium for days <3
i'll try making some fanart for her once i'm not too busy! maybe during june?
Amane Momose Trial 3 Voice Drama Translation - Life and Death
Here's the translation doc!
Here's the voice drama to listen to as you read!
This time, I also made a tumblr version for those who want to read directly ^^!
If you decide to use this translation, no need to ask for permissions but please credit me @MaauSmt, thank you.
Es: Amane.
Amane: I understand, warden-sanā¦Your regrets, conflicts. You are lost.
Warden-san, you who are lost in this chaotic prison. Wonāt you follow me? I shall guide you.
Es: ā¦Without even a greeting and you jumped right into your act huh?Ā
Unfortunately, I wonāt be humoring you.
Amane: Then will you keep suffering? ā¦As you continue overcoming trials, there is nothing shameful about carrying a staff known as faith within your heart.Ā
Surely it will be of help to you.
Es: Youāre rightā¦ if I were able to do that, how easy things wouldāve been.
Amane: Hm?
Es: I intend to keep facing myself until the very end, with this prison.
Amane: ā¦Within the time we have not met, you have changed a lot.
Es: I could say the same for you, Amane.
Though you were pretty unstable last we met in the Second Trial, youāve calmed down.
Wellā¦ still you donāt look all that great to me.
Amane: Thatās not true at all! Iām really thankful to you for forgiving me.Ā
Either way, thanks to that I was able to remain true to my faith!
ā¦Consequently, Iāve also realized my own mistake!
Es: Mistake?
Amane: Yesā¦ Iāve been wondering about something.Ā
āWhy are there so few believers?ā Itās easy-talk, this MILGRAM is simply unfit.Ā
Yes, in short, religion updates itself to reflect the state of the world. For MILGRAM, it changes its shape to help alleviate peopleās worries.
Es: So you mean.. within the walls of MILGRAM, a new religion emerged?
Amane: Yes! I was wrong, the religion I believed in up until now was incomplete! Thatās why there were fools, rebels who dared to break the rulesā¦
I could just create a new one myself! My own āOriginalā!
Amane: Of course not! Spreading my name is not the intent, it exists to alleviate the pains of those within MILGRAM! ...Like him.
Es: Youāre referring to Fuuta, right?
Amane: Indeed, Kajiyama Fuuta. He is my first follower.Ā
Es: ā¦
Amane: Is anything amiss?
He, who has fallen and became lost, was granted the light of āFaithā by meā¦ Not you.
Es: Thatā¦ is undeniable.Ā
I failed to save him.
Amane: As long as there is faith, no matter how hard the circumstances are, people will always find it in themselves to stand up countless times. To be able to offer them a helping hand, is nothing but bliss!Ā
Es: Even if they committed a mistakeā¦ they could still be redeemed.
Amane: Youāre getting it! It is that hope that connects people to the right paths!
Es: But if they diedā¦ then what is there to redeem?
Amane: ā¦Huh?
Es: Even if your teachings are correct, I canāt affirm Shidouās death.
There is no doubt that you are responsible for Shidouās death, no?
Amane: Kirisaki Shidou. Yes, I have purged him.
Es: P-Purge?
Amane: Precisely. He violated our doctrine, even after several warnings.Ā
Es: ā¦Mahiru too, died because of his absence. Were you aware it would come to that?
Amane: Yesā¦ Both those who seek medical treatment and those who provide it are breaking the doctrine.Ā
I just took it into my own handsā¦ Or should I say..Ā
Itās divine punishment.
Es: ā¦Are you seriously saying that?
Amane: Correct.
Es: ā¦ [stumbles]
Why? Why is it forbidden?
Amane: Illness is a trial granted by God.Ā
People ought to face their trials.Ā
Those who run away from the trials, those who disrupt the trials, obviously they are not to be forgiven.
Es: ā¦Is that so?
Amane: Itās just me, but, itās surprising.
I thought you would be more worked up about it.
Es: Yeah. I should be.
Amane: Whatās your stance on this?
Es: Itās not something that can be expressed easily. Iām overwhelmed by sadness.
Amane: Hm.
Es: I am deeply saddened.Ā
About Mahiru- about Shidou- I wished I could have gotten to know them more.Ā
Thatās all I think about these days, even if itās too late.
I am too, saddened that you killed people.
Amane: The hellās up with that?
Es: Iāve been thinking hard about it- Ever since Iāve known of their deaths.Ā
Even so- I still canāt muster up any feelings of hatred for you.Ā
I.. Iām just.. sad.
Amane: What is it with you, for godās sakeā¦?Ā
Playing the victimā¦ Looking at me with pity..!Ā
I have already warned them multiple times!
Again.. And again and again and again and again and AGAIN!
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND BY NOW!
USE THAT SMART AND CLEVER HEAD OF YOURS, UNDERSTAND WHY I HAD TO MURDER MY OWN MOTHER- WHO VIOLATED THE DOCTRINE- BY MYSELF!
Es: ..Yeah.
Amane: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE IF YOU JUST HAD STOPPED HIM! NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU!
Es: Did you wish for me to stop him?
Amane: Ha-ah?!
Es: Did you want me to stop you from your own wrongdoings?
Amane: ā¦
Es: Did you truly want to kill him?
Amane: Itās obvious that those who violate the doctrine must be purged.Ā
Es: Amane. Did you really hate him?
Amane: ā¦I hated him.
He treated me like a kid. No matter how many times I tell him off- that I didnāt like it- he still reached out to me.
I wish he had just taken the hintā!
Even if I avoid it- avoid and avoid- he still treats me as if I was one of his own children.
Itās really.. unbearable.
Es: Was Mahiru like that too?
Amane: Yes.. Yes! Youāre right!
That person has always unnecessarily meddled with me!
Talking about things like love, affection, sweets, fashion- always going off about mundane topics!Ā
Things I donāt need- I- ā¦Nothing but a big bother.
Es: Was that your real feelings?
Amane: They are my real thoughts.
Es: Didnāt you want to take their hands?
Amane: ā¦Please. Enough.
Es: Couldnāt there have been a future where you would have taken their hands?
Amane: ā¦Shut up..!
Es: Didnāt you say you made a new religion?Ā
Isnāt it up to you to show them the way- overrule the old teachings and help them update and adapt?
Why.. Why would you uphold the prohibition of medical treatment?
You.. were tormented by it too, werenāt you?
Amane: ā¦How noisy..
Es: Your new doctrine grants people happiness, doesnāt it?Ā
Then isnāt it fine to change it into something that makes you happy too? Despiteā
Amane: SHUT UP!!Ā
Es: ā¦!
Amane: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!
Es: Amane-
Amane: If I went against that belief-Ā
THEN FOR WHAT REASON DID I KILL MY MOM FOR!
What was my entire life- 12 years of living for?!Ā
If I were to ignore their actions, wouldnāt that make my life a joke?!
I killed my mom for the same reason- My mom was like that too! If I had let her go, what meaning would there be left in my life?!Ā
IF IT WERE THAT EASY TO BREAK A RULE, THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF PROTECTING IT?!
WOULDNāT IT BE ALL PLAY-PRETEND THEN?! I had to protect it through any means possible! IT CANāT BE ANY OTHER WAY!!...Ā
If not.. Then what was the point of everything?!
ā¦Tell meā¦
Es: You knew the truth all along, didnāt you?Ā
Amane: Noā¦
Es: That you didnāt want to killā¦
Amane: Noā¦
Es: You thought it was the only way leftā¦ didnāt you?
Amane: Noā¦!
Es: Apparently, victims of childhood abuse tend to develop a tendency to justify the abuse as a way to shield themselves from the pain. By distorting their perception of reality, they can protect their own hearts.
Amane: ā¦Donāt act like you know what youāre talking about.. Donāt talk about it pleaseā¦ I wasnāt a victim of abuseā¦
Es: Yeah. Sure, if you want to think about it that way.
You donāt have to come to terms with it now, you have your whole life ahead to figure it out.Ā
You are- No, me too. Weāre still kids, closures and such can wait.
The things that you concluded today might just be proven otherwise tomorrow, and thatās fine. Itās what I think.Ā
Amane: ā¦Hā¦Hypothetically, is it okay to be incorrect?Ā
Even if it will cause trouble for others, is it okay if I change my resolve?
Es: I think itās okay. In MILGRAM, I feel like that too. What I see is not what everything is. Everything keeps on changing.
Amane: ā¦Is that true?
Es: Your teachings were like that too right? Those misguided can still be redeemed, wasnāt that what you stated?
Amane: ā¦!
Es: You admitting your wrongdoings is the foundation for that.
Amane: Haā¦ Shidou-sanā¦ when he was being killed by meā¦ he said itās not too late for me to start overā¦
Es: Shidouā¦
Amane: Whyā¦? Why did he, up until his last breath, cared forā¦
Es: He has always been extending his hand to you. Mahiru as well.
No.. It wasnāt just the two of themā¦ Other people too, if you look at your surroundings, youāll know.
Amane: Haā¦haā¦
Es: The next time someone offers you a hand- I want you to take it without hesitation.
Thatās what I wish for from the bottom of my heart.
Amane: Haā¦ah!
*Amane cries*
[bell rings]
Es: Have you calmed down?
Amane: I haveā¦
Es: Itās time. This is our farewell.
Amane: ā¦I know. Warden-san.
Es: What is it?
Amane: Why did you change..?
Es: Change?
Amane: The warden from before looked like they were being controlled by something, like a puppet.Ā
And today, the one who talked to me wasā¦
Es: Hm?
Amane: Changed of sorts..? Wasnāt it scary for you? Why did youā¦
Es: Surely, it must be because I made many mistakes.Ā
I lost too many things and I just couldnāt bear living with it.
You guys are murderers.
Amane, you have killed people too. And itās not something that can be easily forgiven.
From an outsiderās perspective, you are no better than a criminal. To the point where theyāll just think of you as a villain with no remorse.
But I know.Ā
What motives you guys had, the inner conflict you guys went through.Ā
Each of you guys are the way you are because of your lives.
Iām not trying to defend murderers-Ā
Itās just, when there are feelings and thoughts involved, I donāt want to just ignore it.
Amane: Warden-sanā¦
Es: Itās just as you have said, itās scary.Ā
I think you may not forgive us.Ā
But, thatās what I want to do.
Amane: Iā¦
Es: Itās from now on. Iāll just do it how I have been. Figuring out the answer as I go.
Amane, you and me, weāll figure things out from here.
Amane: Yesā¦ Warden-san, me too, Iāll think about it once more onwards.Ā
I donāt know what kind of feeling it will become butā¦ Iāll try my best to learn to accept it.
Es: If youāre scared, itās okay to rely on those around you.
Amane: That kind of person isnāt around me anymore-
Es: There is. That guy you saved.
Amane: Fuuta-san..?
Es: Your feelings of wanting to save someone is real, and there are still those out there looking for help. That is unmistakable.
Amane: Yes.
Es: Heās a clumsy guy and a bit awkward but- Heāll lend you a hand.
See you, Amane.
Amane: Warden-san. Iāll pray for your way ahead to be filled with good things and prosper.
Es: Oh..?
Amane: No.. I just thought it would be great if good things happened to warden-san.
did an art collab thing with my pookie @rouxlsey !!!
we didn't know the character the other person would draw which made things really funny
yuri x ena... an unexpected ship indeed
