Coach Finstock is going to be insufferable after this...
Ten years down the line, Coach Finstock stands in from of his new class of fresh-faced ninth graders. They’re a pathetic lot. He can tell. He’s got a sixth sense about these things. You can practically smell the middle school on them. He gives them a beady look. “You punks better listen to me. I took an arrow in the gut for my students once. This school knocks out an average of three teachers per year, but not Bobby Finstock! You’re stuck with me for the next four years.” And then, he whips up his shirt to show off his kick ass scar (and none of them believe him for an instant. The common theory is that Coach had appendicitis).
Every lacrosse practice from here on out:
“Oh, that tackle hurt? Really? I WAS SHOT WITH AN ARROW. Buck up, wimp!”
“Stitch in your side? Poor baby. HOW ABOUT I SHOW YOU WHERE AN ARROW IMPALED ME.”
“I’m sorry that your pencil broke. Try inserting it into your stomach like I DID WITH AN ARROW THAT ONE TIME.”