Greek Gods as things I’ve heard at my school
Zeus: At this point I’ll bang anything *grabs cactus on windowsill* HERE I GO
Hera: *shrieking* MY BOYFRIEND IS A W H O R E
Demeter: *has been addressing all plants by their scientific names for a week* Today I have a solanum lycopersicum and cheese sandwich
Hades: Death is the only thing left that will cure my anxiety
Poseidon: Somebody told me that I have the mental capacity of a fish. Jokes on them, I am a fish *gargles water loudly*
Hestia: Fire warm. Man need fire.
Apollo: You were saying something but all I heard was G A Y
Artemis: Boys are stinky gross bastards, fuck boys….wait no
Athena: Somebody got mad at me for saying I was upset I got a 93%. Little do they know I have been getting straight 82% and I just broke my lucky streak
Hephaestus: *pounding aluminum foil into a ball with a mallet* SHINY
Hermes: I just picked the lock on the home ec room door and stole like 7 loaves of bread who wants toast
Aphrodite: *gets told they’re pretty* I think you mean smoking hot.
Ares: No one tells you that punching people hurts. I punched someone and then cried, which is the opposite of menacing
Dionysus: *blackout drunk and standing on a table, shirtless* RESPECT WOMEN