Detox Just To Retox

janine. 21. pete wentz laughed at my boob once

[whitepeopletwitter]

[catchymemes]

[brendonuriesource]

Panic! At the Disco | Riptide Music Festival 2018 ||  amandaphotography._

[valtsv]

*walks into a psychology lecture wearing a tshirt with freud’s face on it that says “THIS GUY IS A FUCKING IDIOT” in sparkly bold type*

[the-conquest-of-shred]

[pettyrevenge]

Old People Restaurant Scam. You know the scam. Whine about perfectly good food to get some sort of comp.

In their old age, my parents befriended another older couple who would pull this stunt everywhere they went. After my mother told me a few stories about how their new friends had shown them how to get discounted or free meals, I felt like I was suddenly the responsible adult, concerned about the bad influence these people were on my parents.

While visiting my parents with my girlfriend, this other couple attended dinner with us. As I expected, the food was brought to the table and they immediately began dramatically complaining to one another about the quality/taste/temperature/etc. They were making a scene in order to attract the attention of the waitress. When our waitress returned to ask how we were doing, the miserable old bastard who played the lead role in their act took a deep breathe, struck a dramatic pose (with his hand raised to begin gesticulating for emphasis) and bega–I leaned forward and cut him off before he could finish the first word: “Everything is absolutely fantastic. It’s all great! Thank you very much!” She smiled, and began her obligatory “Great, well if you need any–” when he made a second attempt. “We come here all the time an–”. I didn’t acknowledge that he was speaking at all, repeated that all was just as we ordered and thank her again.

He was stunned and thrown off from his routine by my interruption. During this pause the waitress walked away (It seemed clear that she knew what they were trying to accomplish). He turned bright red. I turned to my girlfriend and, smiling and without lowering my voice, stated how pitiful it is that some people could be dishonest, deceitful and put at risk the livelihood of a cook, server or hostess for a pathetic discount or a free early-bird special. My passive-aggressive reverse-parenting broke my parents of the habit in short time.

[flaminganakin-deactivated201812]

And baby boomers talk shit about Millennials being entitled

[ohpierre]

As a Jimmy Johns employee for three years, the largest demographic that scams us for sandwiches are older than 40.

[queeredge-deactivated20250119]

Generic pop punk band: you have a new boyfriend, I wish I was six feet under. My life is soooo haaaaard, and I need to take a shower because I haven’t gotten clean in days.

Me:

[beachdeath]

jeff bezos didn’t sign a pre-nup

and cheated on his wife of 25 years with a married woman

and washington state is a community property state, meaning that all assets acquired during a marriage are divided equally upon divorce

meaning that jeff bezos has to give his wife half of his net worth

and he is presently worth $137 billion

and half of $137 billion is roughly

$69 billion

[greengreen-blueblue]

[crooked-dregs]

Sir, that’s my emotional support ghost whose hands are cold because he’s been dead for seven years

[tinarannosaurus]

[deafgaming]

American healthcare system be like

[creamysmooth]

[rubyneo]

[transdemyx]

[bongespob-paresquants]

perfect!

[dancesonthewall]

Some of y’all have never cried to What A Catch Donnie by American rock band Fall Out Boy and it shows.

[please-dont-freak-out]

[diabolicalhardcore]

*MICKEY MOUSE VOICE* YOURE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE THE WRATH OF A GOD

[actualkiss]