Varning för mambor: Ch. 4 (1/1)
The Wurst School Trip Ever
When the earl pushed his bike against the fence after the lunch break he heard a hot discussion from behind the gym, where the radio amateurs usually met during breaks. Sven Larsson, who lived  close to Micke in Thoringe, come running towards him.
“It's not true, is it?”, he shouted, “I wasn't there lat night, but the others say we have a criminal living at Charlottenruh who's scaredto death of Constable Jönsson and Aunt Charlotta is merried for him... not Constable Jönsson of course, I mean the criminal... Although that must be an exaggeration, after all the woman is like ninety!”
“Damn it, of course she's married”, panted the earl and approached the group. “And she's not even close to ninety.” He turned to Micke: “Either the guy suffers from paranoia or this is a new case for the radio detectives!”
Ulli groaned.
“Oh, you should have seen that!”, the earl continued. “I didn't get in. I rang the bell, and I rang and rang and rang, but no one opened. I didn't have a key either but I thought he'd be home, so I went to Robban's Café and hade a coke and played chess. Two cokes actually. Until finally Aunt Charlotta came home and let me in and the the guy said that someone kept ringing the doorbell while she was gone. Or called the phone. The chimney sweeper was there, too. He came in a luxurious white care with sheep fur covers on the seats!”
“The chimney sweeper? Wasn't he there last week?”
“My point exactly. And a telegram delivery guy with a fake telegram from a hotel in Paris. And in the mail...” The earl interrupted himself. “Ah, right, there was no postcard... And then there was me as well. Plus three, four, five telephone calls. But the weirdest thing is that no one called before Charlotta left. Or rang the door bell. And not after she came back either. Except for me of course.”
“Did he say why he didn't open the door?”
“Because he was in the cellar and didn't see me.”
“Nonsense”, said Henrik amiably. “Of course he saw you. That's why he didn't open the door, he's a smart guy. I just wonder what he wanted in the cellar.”
“He was after your invention, of course”, grinned Ulli.
“Did you see ay of the guys at the door? From the café?”, asked Sven.
“Yeah, I saw the chimney sweeper. And a the nice Ford he left in.”
“So that's not a lie.”
“No, and I saw him limp, too. Antonio said both the chimney sweeper and the telegram delivery guy limped. That does sound pretty suspicions.”
“They limped? Both of them?” Henrik seemed shocked.
“Yes, that's exactly what I just said. Are you deaf?”, the earl asked irritatedly.
Henrik didn't say anything and thought of his rat traps.
“That almost sounds as if someone watched the house and knew exactly that Antonio was home alone”, said Sven excitedly. “You did't see anyone?”
“I swear I didn't”, the earl assured him. “I sure as hell had enough time to look around before someone finally let me in. If someone was there he was invisible.”
“Help”, Nils shouted all of a sudden. “The break has been over for minutes. We'll be late! I don't want the headteacher to get angry again. “
Indeed, the school yard was deserted and seemed almost spooky. But when the earl arrived at his maths class, a good excuse was on the tip of his tongue. He had gone to see the nurse, to get painkillers against a terrible headache. He looked like he was suffering and sat down with his head resting on his hands.
“But the nurse wasn't there. I knocked and knocked and knocked...”
“And knocked”, Atom added helpfully. “And what happened then? Put us out of our misery already!”
“Yeah, well I knocked until I remembered that it's not Tuesday and the nurse isn't even in her office.”
“Weird”, Atom said kindly. “That you had to knock so long. Although they're doing the meidcal check-up today...”
The earl suggested that he must have knocked on the wrong door then. He must have confused them in his pain. The maths teacher gave him a look that didn't say anything nice and continued his explanations in front of the class, while the earl buried himself in his thoughts. Someone spied on them – but from where? And why? Charotta controlled herself well but she was very scared. Butof whom?
The math teacher wapproached him “If a seagull sits at the very top of a tower which is 20 meters high, and another seagull sits at the top of the church tower, and the first seagull...”
'Tower', heard the earl through his own thought exercise. A tower which was 20 meters high...
A double idea made him open his eyes wide and stare at the blackboard which  such an unexpected interest that the teacher asked in surprise:
“Well, what do you think, Rutger?”
“It's not 20 meters high, but 25 with the dome.”
“Very true, Rutger, it's a tower with a dome, that's what I was about to say – but how do you know this?” He was beginning to get suspicious. Had this little rascal managed to get a hold of his the book with the exercises? From which he had taken the calculation?
“Because it's all Greek to me”, said the earl innocently.
The whole class burst into laughters. The teacher slammed the ruler on the table and looked like he really wanted to hit something else, but he continued writing numbers on the blackboard.
The earl sank back into his thoughts and everything was as usual – except for the fact that his thoughts were running at full speed. Someone was watching Charlottenruh – someone invisible. Charlotta had talked about a light at the tower at night. With a telescope like the one the old Kullenberg had owned it shouldn't be difficult to see Charlottenruh and everyone who came and left. But how should he himself get into the observatory to take a look around? He had had to learn that getting in there wasn't so easy at another occasion, when Nils and him had planned to to start a collaction of special paper planes from there. They had to give up when they found out that the doors and windows were rather solid.
The earl was lost in his own thuogh until finally the school bell rang. He was about to leave for a more inspiring place when he heard a voice from the front of the class: “So we're not doing maths tomorrow, sice you will visit the slaughterhouse along with Miss Pettersson's class. I just hope I won't hear anything bad about my class afterwards... I remember the trip to the zoo last year all too well...”
He gave the earl a grave look. The earl didn't understand why. Because even an idiot must have been able to understand that it was wrong to keep a lynx family captive in a compound, just so a bunch of stupid boys could stand and stare at them every day? And feed them with chewy meat? The earl loved animals and hadn't regretted his actions for a second.
“So no mischief tomorrow!, said the teacher with a last anxious look at the the earl and left.
Don't worry, thought the earl. You win't hear anything bad. Not from the slaughterhouse, at least. For now he had an idea.
At four o'clock the school bell rang and one minute past four the earl and Nils met at the bus stop in front of the school. The last two breaks of the day plus a part of of the lesson had been spent brainstorming, as the earl called it. Nils asked what that meat.
„It's when one thinks more than usually“, said the earl. „Or when one usually doesn't really think  at all and he sunddenly starts.“
„That person is me, of course“, Nils said warily.
„I surenly don't“, said the earl drily. „Since you haven't even started... Is there someone in your class who's nagging all the time? And who has a mother who's just like that?“
„Yeahhh“, Nils said slowly. „There are Thomas and Peter and Kristina... there are some who claim I'd bother them and I'm annoying.“
„That's not nagging“, said the earl coolly. „That's the truth. I mean someone like Martin from my class who claims that I whispered a wrong answer to him in history...“
„Yeah but that's exactly what you did“, said Nils, rightfully angered.
After a long discussion they agreed on Niggle, a boy who always had a rain coat in his school bad – just in case it should rain. Who never forgot his mittens and whose mother came running to the headteacher after Nils had – accidentally – hit him with a snowball once.
„Niggle is also good because we know exactly when his mother comes home from work“, said the earl. „It was her who threw us out of the Domus that one time, when we weren't there for longer than two free periods. And we even ordered a glass of juice...“
„One glass for the both of us, which I paid by the way“, said Nils, who had his blunt day.
„Anyway“, said the earl. „This shows that she's just as niggly. She probably sucks her thumb. She always works until four so she must be on this bus“, continued the earl when they had made themselves comfortable at the last seat row, where the bus was bucking so much that adults ever wanted to sit there.
At 16:05 the bos stopped outside of the Domus and two ladies go in. The boys were lucky, since the new passangers sat down at the very front and the two seats behind them were free. Nils and the earl approached them quickly and began whispering behind the ladies' backs.
Nils pulled a paper slip out of his pocket and wrote, with an look at the lady beside Niggle's mother: 'Ronny's mother, almost as niggly'. The he began speakig in a high, childish voice: „Although I'm not going to eat a sausage there tomorrow. Or touch one. Then we might make it...“
„I don't think so“, the earl said darkly. „Imagine having to stay at the hospital the whole holidays, even in Christmas Eve. It's insane to bring a school class there“, he lowered his voive, „although they know that two of the workers have SALMONELLA POISONING...“
„Psssst“, hissed Nils so loudly, that the whole bus heard him. „Don't say  SALMONELLA POISONING so loudly. Figge wil lose his job if someone finds out that he told us. They have a giant load of sausages out there, they could lose millions, said Figge, if someone find out they have SALMONELLA at the slaughter house...“
„Yeah, but to bring a group of school boys there now, and treat them to SALMONELLA SAUSAGES – that's dirty!“
The conversation between the ladies had come to a standstill. In addition, they had turned their head a little to be able to hear better.
„True, if my mother knew about this“, chirped Nils. „But I don't dare to say anything, because I promised Figge keep quiet. And my mother would surely call the headteacher and give him hell. The ones who called in sick are feeling really bad, said Figge. Nothing more than skin and bones.“
„Umn, this is my stop“, said the earl. „But it will ben hell to just sit there and watch the others stuff themselves with SALMONELLA sausages.“ He got up. „One should just be sick tomorrow...“ He winked suggestively.
Nils stayed on the bus for five more stops and began reading in his biology book.
The two mothers had started their conversation again the same moment that the earl had left the bus. A heated, muffled conversation with frequent looks back at Nils. Finally Niggle's mother turned completley around and transfixed Nils with her gaze.
„Aren't you in my Per-Erik's class?“ Per-Erik's was Niggle's Christian name.
„Yeahh“, Nils said slowly, and suddenly looked like he had a bad conscience. That was not difficult, after all he had a bad conscience for one thing on other almost all the time. That seemed to be the only way he was able to have fun.
„You're going on an excursion tomorrow? To the slaughterhouse?“, she continued her interrogation.
Nils opened his light blue eyes a little too wide, so that he looked scared to death.
„Yeahhh...“, he said again. And then he was quiet.
„What did you say about salmonella just now?“
„I didn't say anything about salmonella“, Nils assured her, a little too eagerly. „Nothing at all.“
„Of course you did. I clearly heard the word 'salmonella'. And you talked about the slaughterhouse. Don't try to deny it!“
Nils was quiet. After some time for consideration he replied: „I just talked about a cow called Almonella, who belongs to a friend of mine. They want to kill her, and he's so sad that only skin and bones are left of him. But I'm not supposed to talk about that, because he's going to lose his job... I mean, his father will get angry and hit me...“
Niggle's mother turned around again. „Almonella, huh?“, she hissed. „But I will take care of it. To send our poor boys there and feet them contaminated sausages so they will get sick... I will have to call the other parents...“
Nils had heard enough. He quickly grabbed unread biology book and jumped off the bus on the enxt bus stop, with an obvious, worried look at Niggle's mother. Then he ran all the way to Charlottenruh.
When he arrived there he wished he hadn't run as fast. Charlotta intercepted the radio amateurs and roped them in for chores, because now Charlottenruh was supposed to look as nice as it used to. The dust whirled all afternoon, until Sven finally made coffee and the cleaners sank down on the old, sighing leather armchairs in the library, in front of Micke's trash TV. The news didn't mention anything about a wanted gangster boss or a terrorist. Only the number of common car thefts had increased. Someone had even stolen a whole truck from  a parking lot. A number of luxury cars had vanished from the habour in Malmö, and some cars, including an old ambulance, had been stolen from a storage in Kravlinge.
„I wonder what he needs the ambulance for“, Sven thought out loud. „That sounds interesting.“
„Sven's new mystery“, grinned Henrik. „You should find out who tried to steal my invention instead!“
After the news Charlotta said: „I'll go and wave at Uncle Kullenberg. I have to remember to pay him a visit before I go to the castle, Rutger. Do you think ten o'clock would be alright?“
„Sure“, said the earl. „They would like to go to Rome, but thy don't know what to do with me in the meantime, so they will be home until they come up with a solution.“
Charlotta went up the stairs. When she was at teh top she turned towards Antonio and the earl and asked quietly: „He's dead isn't he? Uncle Kullenberg? I saw the way you looked at each other when I talked about him.“
The boys nodded..
„It seems so – frightening, somehow“, Antonio said, unusually serious. „As if she waved at a ghost.“
„We'll find out who that ghost was“, the earl said bitterly.
„You don't want to go there, do you?“, Antonio asked with concern. „It might be more dangerous than you theink!“ And with that he went upstairs as well.
Sven suddenly thought: he didn't smile. It was the first time he hadn't seen Antonio smile. He turned towards the earl. „When are you going? Can I come?“
„Impossible“, the earl said scarcely. „Atom would be really suspicions if you claimed to be
interested in astronomy!“
The next day Atom came into the staff room and was pale and angry. „Enough is enough“, he shouted. „I didn't get one minute of sleep last night. Has someone seen this tiny redheaded worm Nils something? Persson, I believe.“
„You can barely avoid noticing him“, said Bergendahl dryly. „Since he's been ten minutes late to all of my classes in the last two days.
„Now that you mention it“, Betty exclaimed. „He's been late to my classes, too!“
„It's not just him“, muttered Bergendahl behind his news paper. „It's the whole damned radio club, every single one of the has been late to some class, yesterday and today. There must be bank tobbers in town, or spies, or... we'll probably see them on the front page over every paper again soon.“
„Yes, but this...“, interrupted Atom, beads of sweat on his forehead, where his hair line should have been. „The first mother called me last night at five. And the I didn't have any piece until midnight. And this morning some stupid cow called and told me her Karl-Ossian would stay home today, if...“
„Yes, yes – we know“, Betty said mildly and handed him the newspaper.
Atom had been pale when he had arrived. Now he turned redder and redder , the more he read:
SCHOOL CLASS VISITS SALMONELLA INFECTED SLAUGHTERHOUSE SCANDALOUS NEGLIGENCE
SAUSAGE SUPPLIES FOR MILLIONS ENDANGERED?
DIRECTOR OF SLAUGHTERHOUSE AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT:
Slaughterhouse caughte red-handed. Management doesn't know anything about salmonellae!
Betty chuckled. „Caught red-handed... that's fitting for a slaughterhouse“, she said.
Atom looked at her angrily.
„It's not funny“, he muttered. „To make things worse the headteacher cancelled the trip. That's almost like admitting that we've made a mistake. But there are no salmonella at the slaughterhouse! Those little rascals spread that rumour...“
„He never said anything about salmonella“, said Betty hotly. „He's in my class and I hhad a long conversation with him in the break...“
„Right, you've had a conversation with him“, Atom mocked. „Conversation!“, he hissed. „He's lying all the-“
„He didn't lie. I talked to Per-Erik's mother as well. And in the end she admitted that the boy had  protested that he had never mentioned salmonella. He had just talked about some cow who is supposed to be killed and she's called Almonella. It's not his fault if two sensational hyenasin front of him listen to him and get it all wrong. Nils is a real sweetheart!“
Atom groaned. „You should have heard the headteacher just now. He wasn't sweet at all. And what are we supposed to do with our classes now, without a program?“
„I guess you'll have to think of something else“, was Betty's not very helpful advice.
„They definitely won't get a day off, if that's what they're hoping for“, crunched Atom.
„The little Borgenschild had a pretty good idea, actually“ said Betty. „He's read that the saturn is supposed to be in a special constellation right now, and he asked if we couldn't go to the observatory instread. They were so disappointed, poor things. They really looked foreward to the trip and to seeing the gear the the slaughterhouse.“
„More like missing two maths classes and eat an unlimited amount of sausages“, muttered Atom, without any illusions. „Although the observatory isn't such a bad idea. We can do one maths class before that, too. That'd serve them right, if they really had a finger in the pie. And then in the afternoon well go to the observatory. It should get dark around five. They have fishes there and snakes to look at as well. I'll call the janitor right away.“
When he retured he looked much happier.
„That's settled“, he said. „Although the janitor was really against it first and he was really snippy. They wanted to clean the cages today and he's hurt his foot or something. But he agreed to let us in after I threatened to write a letter to the newspaper, the he said we could come as long as we didn't arrive befor four and brought our own food. It was't their regular janitor, he said that one had an accident or something. I hope he'll be back soon, he was always more felxible with things like that.“
„At least it worked out, that's what's most important“, said Betty.
„Yes“, Atom sighed in relief and grabbed the newspaper. He was about to start reading, but the he lowered the paper again.
„Something about the whole thing is fishy“, he murmured uncomfortably to himself. „The whole story about the cow Almonella yesterday – and the observatory today – Borgenschild and Nils Persson are always in cahoots – we should keep an eye on them tonight... I have a bad feeling about this... if they show up at all. Maybe they have other plans!“









