"Things My Roommates Have Said" Starters
"That's racist, now put on the sombrero."
"He's an old guy with money, he's the perfect victim."
"Why did you replace all the pizza with booze?"
"Is that your naked blanket or your sleeping blanket?"
"I promise I'll tell you if I ever consider stealing your husband for his money."
"I'm in my twenties and yet I'm calling some anime high schoolers senpai, can I really be trusted to make decisions?"
"Hey you opened my booze! Thanks Mom!"
"No one wants to rob a house with dicks hanging on the walls."
"Let the weight of those blankets push the sadness out of your body."
"If you can't suck ten dicks at once then how do you expect to get away with murder?"
"I love my new background, just look at all the tentacles and anime tiddies!"
"You know what makes people do anything? Shame."
"This kid is gonna be so confused because she now has five moms and she calls two of them dad."
"Most of my ideas might be illegal, but they usually work."
"My mom said we're not allowed to sell drugs again."
"The only sex rule in the apartment is to not have sex in the kitchen, I cook there."
"This is family time, that means we look at dicks together."
"I told you that playing drunk uno would destroy friendships, I warned you and you didn't listen to me, and now you suffer."
"Why are all my shoes in the fridge?"
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