At the young adolescent age of 13, I was diagnosed with spinal meningitis. I spent time in a coma and I woke up to find my body completely paralyzed. For months I survived off of life support and a feeding tube. It was uncertain if I'd ever have a normal life or if I would even survive. This was the beginning of a war between my body and my will power. I hated feeling left out because of my wheelchair and I felt like a burden when I needed to rely on people to accomplish a simple task. I kept my optimism high because a ball of anger and sadness never looked good on me. Strangers would approach me constantly asking what happened and leave me with cliches of " you're a miracle" , "God has a plan for you". It's alot of pressure be a "miracle" or take on the devine plans of God himself. Especially when I was still young and I didn't feel like I was any better than anyone else. I figured that anyone would do the same thing if they were in my situation, so I'm no big deal. After high school I became very depressed and lonely. All the people I went to school with moved to college, or got jobs. Plus I didn't drive so I became a home body. I'm an outgoing person and it's easy for me to talk to a stranger. Soon my depression turned into hating my body. The prison that separated from having friends, going on dates, and feeling accepted by my peers. I tried to fight my body. If it wouldn't do what I wanted like walking without crutches or going on a run.I was going to fight back. I went through a period of eatting disorders depriving food was my idea of fighting against the cage that I was trapped in. Mind over body you could say. My mind was conditioned to fight against my body because it was just how I planned on taking back my life. I went through therapy and a clinic used to help me build back my acceptance and self love. I still face depression and I still have days where I hate my body, but now I have learned to respect and care for my mind and body with less conflict
kianamaiart
gummygunk
izzy806
areudirty
titsay
