Health Crisis Coach

Allow me to walk with you when this is your story - I was diagnosed with a life-changing condition....cancer, chronic disease, need surgery, auto-immune disease... I had an unexpected physical incident...heart attack, accident, stroke... Life carries on around me as usual, but how do I carry on and trust my body again.

[almarielifecoach]

Is it all it seems to be?

Since I moved into our current house, the electrical box contained the switches at the top and then a gap of nothingness and then at the bottom the names of the switches. I never questioned it. To be honest, electrical boxes is not where I spend most of my time and energy. But I do frequent it as the water pump (small town water issues) needs to be manually switched on and of if you want decent water pressure in the tap.

Then Covid-19 became part of our lives and hubby had a bit more time on his hands in the beginning of lock down and one evening he fixed the board, with the names of the switches, in it’s proper place! Now it was switches, names and gap of nothingness. Brilliant! NOOO!! the next morning I wanted to flip the switch for the pump, I anxiously called him as something is seriously wrong! It all looked different and I am sure someone stole something at night from the box because it is all wrong! He laughed and assured me that for the first time, it is all right! This happened three weeks ago and daily I must make the ‘mind note’:”This is what it should be. This is right” Even though everything in me want to say no, this is seriously wrong!

This is a electrical board outside of my emotional life and I realized that if if is taking me this long to change my believes around a electrical box layout, that has only been part of my life the last 4 years, how much longer does it take for us to change certain believes about ourselves and the way we view other people and the world. Many of these believes do not help us forward in life but it rather keeps tripping us up. Believes about ourselves might come from labels that was dropped on us during our  growing up years and it was never questioned as it became am intrinsic part of you. And then we look for evidence for that label and we always will find it. It is like wearing green tinted glasses and everything then will look green!

A teacher tells you that you never finish a task. Somewhere your subconscious mind makes a note, put the I-can-not-finish-a-task pair of glasses on and begin looking around. What does it find? Exactly that! and those thought are all added on to the velcro strip of “I don’t finish anything”. Then your mind being the effective mind it is, will from there on work to make it true. Can you see where all your negative self talk and doubt come from?

When you are a child your perspective of life is so different from the adult you are now. But so many of our believes are filed from the perspective as a child. when you are little the tree in the back garden is HUGE and it will stay huge until you revisit the garden and realize that the tree is actually just a normal, tall tree.  

That is why it is so important to revisit all the old, archived believe that is stored for all these years but we use it as our reference to see and do life from. Then we are astonished when our relations, marriages and self image are full of cracks and we experience deep hurt and anguish. 

From what I experience from my clients is that they wait till they hit the brick wall with a divorce, serious relationship issues, health issues before they seek help. I do believe that everyone should start unpacking their box of believe, sooner rather than later, There will always find a reason not to do it. Do not wait until you hit the brick wall. I can help you unpack and acquire better life handling skills, that can make the time spend in emotional pain way less

[almarielifecoach]

Bbbb..bitter or better...

When you helped someone, really went the extra mile and got kicked in the teeth … KEEP ON DOING GOOD NEVERTHELESS!

When you got blind-sided and still let the show go on … DO NOT STOP WALKING IN INTEGRITY & LOVE

This is when you grow, when you learn to set free(..and set free and set free and set free..), when you choose better over bitter and when you learn how vulnerable your own heart is…

It is the most amazing peep into your thoughts and feelings. Keep on walking as the best version of yourself. You have the ability to keep the hurt outside and be good to yourself and still love perfectly!

[almarielifecoach]

The happiness scale

Why can’t my husband/wife/parent/friend/sibling just say what I want to hear, then I won’t have to give them the silent treatment! Right!? 🙄

Do you find that the wrong choice of words or the wrong tone of voice can send you into the doldrums of pulling away from your housemates/partner, walking around with a long, sad face and turn the whole atmosphere around you into a cloud of negativity and everyone feels like they are walking on egg shells. The people around you are not happy and worst of all, you don’t feel great about yourself. Where did this need that you feel to protect yourself and build a fort around you with a bubble of negative vibes, started? It has a lot to do with what your first experiences were of how happy and safe this world is. If you grew up where you felt that you don’t have a voice and you decided that the happiness scale around you is less than 5, you will unconsciously bring back the scale to where you feel safe – even if it causes you misery. The interesting thing about it is that that is exactly where you feel safe and comfortable at. We look back only long enough only to gain wisdom. Remember that the past is exactly the way it should’ve been and we can not go back and change it, but it does offer us precious wisdom. I will talk more about the past in a next blog post.

If you stayed with me this long and were able to look back and opened the door to look at the past without judgement but with curiosity, I commend you!!

Just observe what happens that make you choose the to get into the escape car and where does that car take you? Victim country or angry forest or to Lake Sad? Can you feel the layers of sad away and get to the suppressed anger? And why aren’t you allowed to be angry?

[almarielifecoach]

[almarielifecoach]

Zero to a 100

Vehicles get admired because of their acceleration from zero to 100km, but who in your life make your accelerate from calm to furious or down that slippery slide that leads to the dark pit of self-hate and despair? Your partner in life or business, your mom or dad, friends, colleague? The good news is that you are not a victim that’s at their mercy, but that you have the power and just need a few tools in your kit.

You are born and here on earth – and that fact means that you are meant to be here, and your existence is not up for debate! It is a solid fact. You are no mistake! Let us look at the sun. No one debates if the sun is supposed to be part of our galaxy – it IS part – end of discussion, a solid fact! And so is your existence on planet earth.

Ask yourself a few good questions when you start to detect the “acceleration”: Why does what he/she say bother me so much. What is the absolute truth here and what is a story version of a fact? Why does it bother me when thís person say or do this? Simple question, but if you lived your story and your hurt for so long, you might need someone to peel of the layers of thinking until we can get to the real reason. It is really life changing, freeing and you get deep joy back. But this is only for the brave and the person who really had enough of being hurt and causing pain to yourself and others. [email protected]

[almarielifecoach]

Are you dreading doing Valentine’s Day solo?

Is it emphasizes your solo status?

Does it exaggerate being alone?

... trigger all the negative thoughts & talk in your mind?

FEEL the emotion it is triggering

Do not numb it with food, alcohol, social media posts, sleeping etc

Just feel it in your body and name the emotion with whatever word you feel describe it

Know it is OK

Breathe through the emotion

‘Valentine emotion’ (fill your description in here), I experience you and I am OK

I am loved.

I am worthy.

I am unapologetically precious.

I am able.

I walk upright, shamelessly-chin up.

I have permission to be happy.

I have a future.

I celebrate that I have a body, a mind and a beautiful soul.

I am good enough.

I am complete.

I am whole.

I choose to celebrate this special day in contentment and joy.

I choose to be filled with love and peace.

I choose to believe that my past is exactly what it was suppose to be.

I choose to forgive myself and everyone and thing that still occupy space in my thoughts.

I choose to live in the next minute, next 10 minutes, as this is what I have now!

I choose to smile.

I will never be as young as I am at this moment.

I am fully present.

I am alive!

[almarielifecoach]

Life Interrupted

Hospital visits if your loved one is in hospital can be utterly exhausting. You feel overwhelmed, worried, out of your routine and suddenly, your role changed. You must take over the patient’s roles and be the loving, cheerful visitor.

May I offer that you stay honest and true to yourself and admit how you feel. Write down all your feelings and fears on paper. Almost like a printer would just print out all that is in your thoughts, without judging the thoughts as good or bad, or putting more expectations on yourself. Be curious about what your brain is producing and what might lay behind your feeling of anxiety and stress. You will experience such a relieve after you have done the “thought print-out”. Give it time and respect the process. Again – do not judge your thought print-out. Close your eyes for a moment, breathe deeply in (count quietly in your head:101 102 103 104 105) and breathe out while count down again. Repeat 5 times and carry on with the thought print-out until you feel that for now, this is it.

You will gain so much insight and will feel your stress and anxiety reduced.

The ideal will be if we can start walking the path together. It will be a honor and privilege if we can do The Life Interrupted Program together and make your hurt and pain lead you to a more abundant life!

[almarielifecoach]

Thank you @avogado6 for the privilege to use this amazing artwork! 

[almarielifecoach]

Life Interrupted

Hospital visits if your loved one is in hospital can be utterly exhausting. You feel overwhelmed, worried, out of your routine and suddenly, your role changed. You must take over the patient’s roles and be the loving, cheerful visitor.

May I offer that you stay honest and true to yourself and admit how you feel. Write down all your feelings and fears on paper. Almost like a printer would just print out all that is in your thoughts, without judging the thoughts as good or bad, or putting more expectations on yourself. Be curious about what your brain is producing and what might lay behind your feeling of anxiety and stress. You will experience such a relieve after you have done the “thought print-out”. Give it time and respect the process. Again – do not judge your thought print-out. Close your eyes for a moment, breathe deeply in (count quietly in your head:101 102 103 104 105) and breathe out while count down again. Repeat 5 times and carry on with the thought print-out until you feel that for now, this is it.

You will gain so much insight and will feel your stress and anxiety reduced.

The ideal will be if we can start walking the path together. It will be a honor and privilege if we can do The Life Interrupted Program together and make your hurt and pain lead you to a more abundant life!

[almarielifecoach]

[almarielifecoach]

How do I trust my body again after this?

When life is interrupted by a diagnosis of a potentially life-threatening disease, a heart attack, a stroke, a serious accident or a chronic disease, you are so busy fighting the physical battle, that you forget that your mind and emotions are just as badly affected.

What if I tell you that you don’t have to carry on suffering emotionally as there is hope and to gain back your trust in your new body.

It is exactly the right time to create a new view of your body and how it fits into your new life.

We can not control what has happened.

We can not go back and fight with the pass – it happened.

We can find out what thoughts are behind our emotions and maybe for the first time you can find that peace and joy that evaded you for so long.

We can build a bright new future out of our passed experiences. You have the power to create and see anew. It IS in your reach. Let me help you build and explore.

[almarielifecoach]

What if things won’t ever be the same

What will I miss if I wake up and so many things have changed? Who will I be? Will my loved ones still care for this new physical me?

I do believe that crisis health events are a reboot and a “upgrade” like our apps on our phones and our software. Yes, maybe all parts won’t run as smoothly at first, but with the right software (read emotional tools) we are able to do so much more in other areas. We acquire a wisdom that we didn’t have before and an awakening. Some people choose to ignore it and shelf it on the highest, darkest shelf....but it never stays there. And when it comes tumbling down from the “hidden place”, it usually makes more noise and cause more damage.

When we learn how to identify our emotions and the stories we believed our whole lives, we, all of a sudden, see so much wider and recognise the what is valuable and helps us and what should go, that actually hinder us.

Stories and believes are build into our lives from an early age for e.g. “Poor Peter can’t kick a ball properly” and without Peter realising it, his subconscious start working at it to proof that Peter don’t have any ball skills. Peter lives his life believing just that and dreading any ball activities. In his forties his colleagues invite him to play golf with them and Voila! Peter drives the ball with perfection! And slowly he starts to realise that he took a seed that was planted in his subconscious and gave it space and even nurtured it, without realising it was just an opinion of someone on a day that say your foot hurt and you didn’t perform. But years of joy are lost because of a false believe.

Our thought life has so many of these thinking errors and believes that don’t help or heal but only harm