Some things i feel like people are confused on with Nicki as a character! My personal opinion, please be nice :)
Hello luvs! my name is Kayla and like you i love Nicki (and Lestat of course) and im honestly just writing this to get it out of my system lol,
btw again just my opinion! if you have other opinions thats fine! Just dont attack mine
(also this was made at 2 AM so hopefully this makes sense lol)
here are my notes that ive found people to be confused on Nicki about...
why is he bitter? = this man is dealing with his whole world view (religion) being turned upside down (he's realized that he has fallen from the religion) and that shit is hard to deal with.
why does he put it out on Lestat? = like Lestat, Nicki had a horrible father who put his own trauma on his son, the cycle repeats, and like Lestat, he is burdened with his fathers temper. ALSO he is jealous that unlike him, Lestat gets what he wants and Nicki is blinded by that.
Does this excuse his actions?= HELL NO this just explains it
ANOTHER BIG THING! When Nicki expresses his opinions on topics (to me at least) it feels like that (not on purpose) that Lestat shoots it down instead of listening because he is to busy trying to "fix" Nicki which he think is helping him but in reality he comes more as brushing Nicki's opinions and feelings off, then again Nicki now aggravated and overwhelmed does the same to Lestat
Is he trying to hurt Lestat on purpose? = NO he has stated that he loves him and that he is his light in his life and the light that he has been searching for his whole life, so think about what happens when you finally find that light and its suddenly taken away from you
Nicki and Lestat are two boys who suffered domestic abuse by parents and i find it interesting how Anne Rice portrays the very realistic different outcomes, they loved each other desperately but unfortunately they were both at different times in their lives and life had other plans.
Like many past era's, Mental health was not talked about during this time, Nicki was struggling with severe depression, loss in religion which FOR HIM was loss in faith, most likely even if not cautiously he was dealing with internalized homophobia and struggling with ptsd, domestic abuse and suicidal thoughts.
As someone who was raised in an extremely religious household, is a performer, has a verbally abusive father who has loads of generational trauma that he inflicts on me, struggles alot with many mental health issues on a daily basis and also played violin for two years fun fact!. I understand and relate deeply to this character, i have been were he has where it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes i still feel that but i am in a much better state and fortunately am just naturally more of an positive person but i fear if i didnt have my mom i would be where he is.
Heres to hoping that we get a lil bit of Nicki's point of view in the show!
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