A Loved Bipolar

What it's like to be loved with a mental illness

[alovedbipolar-blog]

I'm perfectly imperfect, messed up in my own way

Anonomous

[extramadness]

[alovedbipolar-blog]

[alovedbipolar-blog]

Being Loved

I’ve found someone. I found someone that loves me, even when I show my ugly side. It’s like a constant fight within me to decide if I can be okay with being loved. Having a mental illness while being loved is confusing and scary. I get scared that he will find someone better or someone less crazy. I have dreamt about finding the right one and I wonder if I’ll ruin it for myself. We have been together for 2 months now and I still fight with my demons about it. I cannot hide my crazy and I just hope he won’t get burned out on putting up with my irritability or the fact that I go off at times. So.. This is me. The loved me. I’ve never thought I’d find someone that can handle me. And all I can do is put on a brave face and pretend like I’m not terrified he will leave me for someone normal. I get sad and I get manic. He loves me through it. I build walls so I won’t get hurt and he tears through them. I don't know how to handle being loved.

[alovedbipolar-blog]

Who Am I?

I am an anonymous bipolar. I live this life secretly. I cannot keep it bottled because I know I’ll explode. Here I am. This is me. ALovedBipolar is who I am. I am loved by a man who I don’t know if I will ever love to a full extent of normalcy. Containing myself is not an option anymore. I give him a hard time because of my mental condition. Sometimes I wonder if he’ll get tired of it. I am terrified of losing this man. He supports my dreams. He loves me with all of him. But this post isn’t about him. It’s about me. I am a people person when I’m manic, and a depressed person almost always. I am going to college. I live with my parents until I can escape. I love dogs and writing, both of which are life. I’ve been in the hospital for bipolar disorder when I was in high School. I still struggle and sometimes I get tired of fighting. But all you can do is fight, so I do. I am in love and I’m bipolar. We’ll see where this journey takes us.