//suggestive content implied, very inspired by the Ghost sexuality blip you reblogged and I found rlly interesting
One of my genuine favorite flavors of Ghost headcanons comes down to him being the complete antithesis of the gruff dommy daddy alpha trope people sometimes interpret him as.
Like. Give me awkward antisocial Simon who’s allergic to intimacy (physical or emotional, sexual or not). Give me Simon who clams up and, initially, struggles to state his needs and boundaries because he believes that it’s something he… should be able to do? Right?
Or even Simon who thinks the whole ordeal is more trouble than it’s worth, and has discarded the idea entirely (or, at least, that’s what he tells himself). Simon who struggles to know what he wants or needs let alone verbalize it.
YESS!!! i’ve tried to like the top dominant gruff version of simon, but it just does not work for me.
explored this in my fic actually but simon forcing himself through his sexual trauma and not learning what works for him because it’s been how long right? he should be over this by now. this is something someone as impressive and capable as him should do able to do no problem. right?
and i think he’d be even more embarrassed about being someone as old as he is and still not having much experience with sex, relationships even.
any time he does try anything later in life, it all goes straight to a pit in his stomach. so he just ends up resigning himself to this idea that yeah it really isn’t worth the effort. he has other things to worry about, things that actually matter, things that he knows he can do well, he doesn’t need to worry about something like this.
i don’t think simon would ever be able to have a normal relationship with anyone. there will always be something *wrong* at least in his eyes. avoidant even if he does manage to find someone.
or another thing i like is simon using sex as a form of self harm. one nights stands or quickies in dirty dive bar bathrooms. anything that can numb his mind from having to think about anything and everything. and every time he regrets it.
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