“Words have power you know. A fine diplomat like yourself must know that already, I make no intention to lecture you.” He could always restrain himself with manners, yet though he spoke in his normal gentle, polite, distant voice suddenly his colorless brows were arching and his lips pulling tight to reveal fangs on either side of his mouth. “You already said so. I am just like my father. In fact you did it again. Doesn’t that strip me of my altean heritage already? Well, you’re right of course. I am nothing but what the Galra made me into.”
Lotor was restraining himself so much that he was shaking. Of course someone like himself deserved it, to have every part of him denied so thoroughly. If he had been better he would have come up with a better strategy, a way to win without sacrifice. A long time ago when he made that first colony, if he had truly been a good person, a hero, he would have saved them. Then suddenly the shaking stopped, his protrudingfangs were shown as he quirked his lips into a small smile.
“Of course that means someone like me has no place here. A pity. I just thought it was sad that you were all alone princess. Only people like me deserve to be alone.”
Betrayed by everyone. Betraying everyone. Stepped on over and over again. Willing to step on others. Mourning the cruelty that had been done to him. Going on to do the exact same cruelty to others. Knowing he was no better than the people who made him this way, and yet having the pride to pity himself. No wonder he had fallen, his pride had built him up so high.
He really thought he was someone special, someone worthy of surviving. This too was just justification though, this too another act. Accepting who he was, accepting that he was a monster unworthy of altean blood, that was just his own laziness for not wanting to try to be better.
The fireworks that were starting to set off around him just sounded like the noises of violence he had been raised around all his life. The brilliant lights breaking apart and dazzling, they just looked like the planets he had seen smashed to pieces. There was nothing beautiful in this festival, except for the girl he was looking at right now.
So it was better he stepped away, he was unworthy of anything beautiful. He would ruin it. No, enough of the self pity, he had already ruined it that was the fact.
“Ah, but even if you and I were the last two people in this whole festival you still wouldn’t want to enjoy it with me, right? So there’s nothing I can do to help you there.”
Again, out of courtesy, from one member of royalty to another ( she can grant him this much at least ) Allura allowed him to say his part without interruption, though the scowl glued to her lips remained difficult to shift even as she began taking his words slightly to heart.
“Ah, but even if you and I were the last two people in this whole festival you still wouldn’t want to enjoy it with me, right?”
It’s sad, she thinks, that not that long ago attending a festival like this alongside Lotor would have been something she greatly desired. Fingers interlaced, marveling at the brilliant patchworks of colours flying across the night sky. She’d never really gotten the opportunity to mourn him, too driven by her mission to stop and wallow in what could have been, too hurt by his lies to give her feelings time to heal. Besides, what would the Paladins have thought of their leader crying over an enemy? Hand shifting to press against her chest, Allura sighed. It seemed...her words were not really reaching him, that or Lotor was simply intent on condemning himself eternally for his wrongdoings.
She is hesitant to voice what she has to say next, unsure of the result it would produce. With Lotor, the balance could shift either way; positive or negative. With another shallow inhaled, she bit the bullet and continued.
❝You may not be able to help me, but the Goddess that watches over this land has gathered everyone here for a reason. I believe, truly, that you have something to offer people, Lotor, something good, if you’d only let go of your pain...It may be too late for us, but the very fact you are here right now, proves it’s not too late for you.❞
❝During our last fight with Honerva, I was able to see into her memories, her past, your past. I do not doubt had things turned out differently with Zarkon and Honerva that you and I would be very similar people now. You cannot help the suffering in your childhood and you can never excuse the path you chose to take that lead you further astray from your Altean roots, but, at the very least, I understand why.❞
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