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THE FACT THAT THERE'S A HIGHWAY TO HELL AND ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, SAYS A LOT ABOUT ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS.

Some people are poetry. Some are just captions.

Was the first person to suck a dick either really brave or just really bored.

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 60

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to

10-Ib potato bags. Then try 50-lb potato bags and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level).

After you feel confident at that level,

put a potato in each bag.

#bazmarc

Does anyone know why 7 8 9?

Because he was told to always eat 3 square meals per day!

When eight was a baby it was always lying down on its side, well that’s infant-eight for

I can’t decide if I want to sweep or be swept in terms of romantic endeavors.

Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?

Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you.

Me: Not now Dad.

Dad: Not asking for a Graphic Designer to help, are they?

Me: Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now.

Dad: Why don't you save him as a PDF & see if that helps!

Did you know;

“69” is now known as “96”.

Thanks to inflation the cost of eating out has gone way up.

The word seat will still be a word with any one letter removed.

An older picture of you contains younger picture of you.

Your reflection is actually a window to the past because the speed of light is not instantaneous.

The fact that we can instantly recognize a song we haven't heard in years, but struggle to remember what we had for lunch yesterday, shows how deeply music is ingrained in our minds and emotions

Butts are either sexy or funny, there is no inbetween.

People who give up alcohol are oftentimes hailed and celebrated, especially if they've struggled with addiction. People who never drink are often made fun of or shamed for not partaking.

A person becomes ten times more attractive not by their looks, but by their acts of kindness, love, respect, honesty and loyalty they show.

Blood don’t mean nothing i got friends that go harder for me than my family do.

People don't necessarily want the world to be a better place, they want THEIR world to be better.

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