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Alton Brown Trash

@altonbrown

Look, I hate this man. Why is he like this? Why am I?

333 posts

Apr 12, 2017

I’m drinking my second vodka strawberry lemonade of the evening and staring out the window wondering if alton brown knows how many people call him daddy

#please don't call me out like this #its important #every time we call him daddy he gets stronger #this is inappropriate #why am i back here #for this torture #oh boy back to hell #Alton brown

Apr 1, 2017

Alton has apparently talked Sarah into dressing up like sriracha for a musical number I’m crying

@altonbrownaddict did you see this?

Mar 31, 2017

I met Alton last year in Atlanta. He hugged me, grabbed my arm so he could look at my tattoos, and told me that they were beautiful. It took everything in me not to scream and cry at the same time right there in front of him. Also, he smelled really REALLY good. I've been suffering ever since.

You are a hero to us all. Thank you for this lovely story.

Mar 15, 2017

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

#Alton Brown #kill me

Mar 13, 2017

#please no #Alton brown #eat your science #death by picture

Mar 13, 2017

#I'm dead #arrest this man #Alton Brown #hot damn

Mar 9, 2017

sustainablefarming-deactivated2

Alton Brown could get it

#i ghostwrote this #Alton brown

Mar 9, 2017

#Alton brown gang sign #alton brown

Mar 8, 2017

#I'll take one mustache ride please #i'm kinkshaming myself #goodbye #alton brown

Mar 8, 2017

#Look at all my eggs #alton brown

Mar 8, 2017

#boy do i love him #and also hate him #the literal worst #alton brown

Mar 7, 2017

#he's got grace #he's got beauty #he's the next food network star #alton brown

Mar 7, 2017

#he should have been count olaf #just saying #sorry nph #alton brown

Mar 7, 2017

#What is he even doing?#alton brown

Mar 6, 2017

#I'm kinkshaming myself #I have no words #I enjoy death #alton brown #I welcome the darkness

Mar 6, 2017

#Oh look he made lunch #mythbusters #alton brown #selfie angle

Mar 6, 2017

Alton Brown Trash @altonbrown - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag