Every Night
Synopsis: Now that Charlie and Ethan are back together, they spend the first night of their new lives together -- and Ethan has a question to ask.
Chapter 44 of the “with and without” series
Previous Series: “a weekend with dr. ramsey”
Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlotte “Charlie” Greene)
Words: 2.9k
Rating: General Audience
Also available on AO3 & Wattpad (link in Masterlist)
There was something so peaceful about Ethan’s apartment tonight. Had this apartment always been peaceful? No, it couldn’t have been. Only last night, it was a mausoleum dedicated to the loss of true love.
But tonight, it was impossible to imagine these halls echoing anything but affection and contentment. The air tasted sweeter, the space felt warmer, the laughs were louder. One night of Charlie’s presence exorcised the ghosts that haunted Ethan in the middle of the night.
The change was subtle, but Ethan felt it with every step he took.
She’s here, he thought as he towel-dried his hair. She’s here, he thought as he stepped into his pajamas. She’s here, he thought as he savored the smell of her shampoo lingering in the damp air. She’s here, he thought as he padded to the living room.
Boston stared back at him through the windows – all the tallest buildings winking their congratulations.
The dim-lit space left evidence of Charlie’s presence in every corner – her shoes by the door, the crumbled pillow by her favorite chair, and the assortment of hair ties that followed her every step. Ethan was greedy for more of it, his usual tidiness be damned.
Ethan poured himself a glass of water and tapped the keypad of his laptop, waking it so he could check the time. With Charlie, time seemed to stop, but just as he suspected, it had continued for the rest of the world. It was late, so late that they should have been in bed hours ago if Charlie wanted to be well-rested for work tomorrow. But Ethan didn’t regret a moment of their night, nor was he eager to go to sleep now.
Stifling a yawn, Ethan curiously opened his notifications, and he was startled by the staggering amount.
At the top of the screen were the expected messages. HR paperwork for his new position with the hospital. Confirmation emails for cancelled movers. Pleas from a devastated recruiter trying to convince him to leave Boston anyway.
Then, there were the text messages reacting to the news. The Edenbrook rumor mill worked quickly, and by the time Ethan picked up Charlie from work, there were already whispers about their illicit affair.
Harper’s message came first. She was happy to hear that Charlie and Ethan were together, but she chastised Ethan for keeping the secret in the first place, though she insisted she’d sensed it long ago. She demanded dinner with the two of them as an apology, and Ethan typed back his assent, apologizing for lying to his friend and promising to make dinner reservations as soon as possible.
When Ethan sent his reply, he was surprised to realize that he was looking forward to dinner with Charlie and Harper. It wasn’t the first time that the trio spent time together, but it would be the first dinner where Charlie and Ethan didn’t have to perform, stifling themselves to avoid drawing attention to their relationship. Ethan liked the idea of integrating Charlie fully into his life – acknowledging the long-held truth that she was the most important part of it.
Above Harper’s gracious congratulations, Tobias Carrick sent a string of texts. It was clear that he hadn’t paced himself or censored a single thought, resulting in a string of consciousness as Tobias unraveled the revelations.
TOBIAS: I KNEW IT! I can’t believe you got caught MAKING OUT with a RESIDENT before you told me!
TOBIAS: Though Charlie is wonderful.
TOBIAS: So why does she like you then? She knows you enough to know better. How did you convince her to date you?
TOBIAS: Someone just told me you’ve been dating for a year. That better be a lie.
TOBIAS: No, it’s not. You’ve been evasive all year. That’s why, isn’t it?
TOBIAS: Then again, you’re always evasive and awkward.
TOBIAS: My office is next to yours, and I swear I heard noises today.
TOBIAS: Just heard the news that you’re leaving. Don’t fret. I’ll be the leader the Diagnostics Team has always needed.
The last message came a few hours later, when Tobias had clearly processed the news and felt it necessary to give a more cohesive and gracious response.
TOBIAS: Seriously though, congratulations. I’m proud of you.
TOBIAS: But don’t screw it up.
Ethan didn’t really consider Tobias a friend – not after their antagonistic history and current conflicts. But this string of texts tugged on some part of Ethan’s heart that had once considered Tobias his best friend. Perhaps it was worth trying again, even if this was just evidence that Tobias was as insufferable as ever.
ETHAN: Thank you.
There wasn’t much else to say, so Ethan didn’t bother trying. And frankly, for him, it was quite a lot.
After Tobias’s messages, there were a few more. Some of Charlie’s friends reached out to say they were happy for them. Sienna tentatively endorsed the relationship, though she reserved the right to murder Ethan if he messed up again. Jackie’s threats against Ethan were far less veiled, and Bryce sent at least a dozen excited emojis. Naveen wrote with glee, boasting that their reunion had all gone to plan. When Ethan questioned Naveen’s direct defiance, Naveen ignored the question and offered the happy couple a weekend at his lake house to celebrate. Gracious for the offer (and Naveen’s interference), Ethan didn’t push it.
Nor did he need to push it.
Because there she was – his darling, wonderful Charlotte.
With Jenner close on her heels, Charlie wandered into the kitchen. The familiar scent of coconut and vanilla followed her, enveloping Ethan’s senses long before she looped her arms around his waist and nuzzled into him.
“There you are,” Charlie murmured, resting her cheek on his bare back. His skin was warm and scented with the mixture of their respective body washes – each still sitting in Ethan’s shower as if no time had passed.
In some ways, that made Charlie sad. She didn’t like to picture Ethan ending each night, staring at her half-empty bodywash and refusing to throw it away, even when he’d lost hope of her ever coming home. But the grief for their lost time was only a momentary interruption. In its wake, gratitude emerged. Because she had come home, and the bodywash was still waiting for her.
Ethan smiled softly, abandoning his laptop and twisting his body so that they were face-to-face. He leaned down to kiss the crown of her head, and Charlie shifted, leaning further into his embrace.
“What are you up to?” Charlie asked, her voice still in a daze.
The day had been so perfect – their reunion, their afternoon, their time at home. They’d spent most of the evening tangled in Ethan’s sheets, but not a moment of it had been quiet. They’d consumed each other in every way possible, from touch to speech. No time had passed, yet there was so much to catch up on.
“Missing you,” Ethan confessed.
Charlie laughed, “It’s been ten minutes since I kicked you out of the shower so I could actually wash my hair without you distracting me.”
“Way too long.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Charlie rolled her eyes, but it was the blush creeping up her cheeks that made Ethan smile. He kissed the flush as it spread up her skin, and he smiled against her cheek as she laughed.
Had anyone else ever been so happy?
“But really,” Charlie playfully swatted Ethan’s shoulder, “What are you doing? If it’s work, I’ll be obligated to make fun of you.”
Ethan shook his head, shifting so they could both face the laptop, “You’ll enjoy this.”
With a few clicks, Ethan brought up Tobias’s text thread. Somehow, the messages were even funnier from Charlie’s perspective. He lit up as he watched her read the messages, laughing at things he hadn’t even noticed before. Then, he showed her the other congratulatory messages. He thought she would like to see the well-wishes, but really, it was a silent effort to show he embraced the promises he’d made to her. He wanted her to know that he wasn’t hiding her anymore.
And Charlie appreciated every bit of it.
She reveled in the idea of dinners with friends. She wanted to be Ethan’s “plus one” to every event, even she’d have to throw her own party to get the opportunity. She liked how easily they talked about it, how Ethan actively participated in their planning without any pressure.
It was night and day from the man she’d once stormed out on.
Her chest ached with pride.
When Ethan reached Naveen’s message, he almost seemed nervous. As if suggesting a weekend away might break their fragile perfection.
“What do you think?” Ethan asked, when Charlie had sufficient time to read the exchange, “A weekend at the lake?”
Ethan had a whole pitch planned out. He was ready to remind Charlie that spring had just reached the city, the sunshine melting the ice and promising new beginnings. They could get out of the city and reconnect in the place where they’d first fallen in love. It felt like the right place to start their new chapter.
But a pitch wasn’t necessary.
“Yeah,” Charlie smiled softly, “A weekend with Dr. Ramsey. Sounds perfect.”
“A weekend with Dr. Greene,” Ethan echoed, mirroring her soft smile as he rubbed a gentle pattern on her back.
Charlie leaned into Ethan’s side, exhaustion peaking through their blinding happiness. Both of them were tempted to evade sleep altogether and stay awake all night, trading their wasted hours of rest with the promise of tender whispers and sacred promises. But relaxation had already seeped into their bones and lowered their defenses. They were both fighting to stay awake.
It was Ethan who declared the first move.
Pressing a tender kiss to Charlie’s forehead, Ethan suggested, “We should go to bed.”
“No, no,” Charlie shook her head, “It’s too early.”
“You have to be at work in a few hours,” Ethan reminded her, though he lacked conviction. He was just as willing to stay up all night as she was, if not more so since he didn’t have a morning shift.
“I’m a resident. I can handle a sleepless night.”
“Come on,” Ethan nudged her gently, “You’re being stubborn.”
“So are you.”
Ethan shrugged, Fair point.
Charlie eyed him warily – ready for battle. Ready for their opposing wills to dominate their minds until they were forced to pick a winner. Ready to draw blood before admitting defeat.
But then a moment passed, and it was all silly.
Charlie was tired, and Ethan would still be here in the morning. He would be there the night after, and the day after, and every day they were willing to share.
So, Charlie said, “Fine. Let’s go to bed.”
Ethan appreciated the magnanimous resolution, and he peppered her cheeks with quiet praise. Though, admittedly, he was inclined to think that everything Charlotte did was perfect. After kissing Jenner goodnight, the pair went to Ethan’s bedroom, ignoring the alarm clock on Ethan’s bedside table that would surely ruin their morning.
It wasn’t Charlie’s first time in Ethan’s bed tonight, but when she climbed into her usual place on the right side of the bed, it felt monumental.
The rose-colored glasses of their reunion lifted, and the gravity of the situation forced them back to earth. Instead of feeling silly for their reverence, they felt absurd for not having more.
War is over. The end of days never came. Insurmountable grief faded away. All the terrible things didn’t matter anymore. The past was in black and white, and the future was painted in vivid color and neon welcome signs.
Charlie is home. Charlie is in our bed. Everything is right, Ethan thought.
Charlie and Ethan tried to act casual as they settled into the sheets, but they couldn’t help but stare at the other. Their eyes were wide with meaning, communicating what neither had the bravery to say. When Charlie’s eyes began to water, Ethan quietly stroked her cheek.
After what felt like a lifetime, Ethan whispered, “I really did miss you.”
As if something like that needed to be said. As if it didn’t carry through every conversation. As if it wasn’t part of his DNA. As if she didn’t feel it with every adoring kiss and smile.
“I missed you, too,” Charlie met his honesty with her own, though her voice lacked his strength. At the slightest hint of a crack, Ethan tucked Charlie into his embrace, and Charlie took the opportunity to breath him in.
Sandalwood. Cedar. Vanilla. A hint of mint.
The smell of home, she thought.
Nestled safely in Ethan’s arms, Charlie’s eyelids grew heavy. Weeks of sleepless nights caught up with her in an instant, rendering her half-asleep in mere moments. As Ethan peered down at her, his chest squeezed with affection.
And suddenly, he knew.
He knew with absolute certainty that Charlotte Greene was his future.
He was overcome with an urge to propose right then and there. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have a ring or a plan or even ambience. Ethan just wanted to marry her. Hell, given the option, he would have run to City Hall right then and there to seal the deal.
Ethan opened his mouth to speak, but something stopped him.
We need time, he realized. The wounds were too fresh and the peace too fragile. He didn’t want to rush into anything that would endanger their precious newfound happiness, nor did he need to rush.
So, despite his overwhelming urge to the contrary, Ethan decided to wait – and it was just waiting. Not refusing or dismissing the idea. He knew they would make it, and he was sure that she would say yes when it was time.
But stopping himself from proposing didn’t eradicate all Ethan’s impulses.
No, he wasn’t out of grand gestures or over-eager requests.
“Move in with me,” Ethan blurted out.
Charlie stirred, wiping at her eyes as she sleepily asked, “What?”
“Move in with me,” Ethan repeated, less confident this time.
“You’re serious?” Charlie’s eyes widened.
“I am,” Ethan nodded, though he didn’t seem very sure. Despite his obvious commitment to the idea she move in, he didn’t have his argument ready – a rarity in itself. Ethan had never made any big life decision without a reasoned argument.
“You’re always here anyway,” Ethan softened, eagerness belying every justification, “and I want you here. All the time. I want to come home to you and share our closet, and I want to add your books to our bookshelves. We’re living in the ‘in between’ – with you sometimes living here and sometimes not. I’m tired of that. I want to be with you fully. In every way I can. This isn’t home without you.”
Charlie hesitated.
She was startled to realize that she already knew the answer. Before he even started talking, she wanted to say yes. And there was no good reason to say no.
It seemed rushed, but was it really? They’d been together for over a year, and she’d spent more nights here than anywhere else. Did time apart fundamentally change that? Did they feel so fragile that sudden changes would shatter them? Or had it been the status quo that drove them apart in the first place?
And did any of it fucking matter?
Would waiting really make things better? Would a slow approach save them from future disaster? Hiding hadn’t done them any favors, nor had abundant caution kept them from starting their relationship in the first place.
Charlie wanted to come home to Ethan. She wanted to put a name to all the things they’d silently endorsed for months, including her continued presence in this apartment. She wanted to cover the space with evidence of their relationship until it was little more than a shrine.
So, perhaps she didn’t give the offer the careful consideration it deserved. Or maybe she gave it too much consideration when the answer would always be the same.
“Yes,” Charlie blurted out.
“Wait, really?”
“Yeah,” Charlie nodded, realization creeping across her features, “My answer is yes. I want to move in with you.”
Ethan breathed a sigh of relief, happily covering her face with kisses. Between excited kisses, he assured her that she could always keep her old apartment, and he would understand if she changed her mind.
Charlie stopped him, “You don’t need to do that.”
“Do what?”
“Try to form a back-up plan,” Charlie settled her gaze on his, “I’m confident we’ll work out.”
“You are?” Ethan repeated breathlessly. It was one thing for Ethan to be blind in love, but it was quite another to realize she was just as high off this feeling.
“Yeah,” Charlie rested her hand on his chest, feeling the jackhammer of his heart, “Aren’t you?”
And amazingly, he was.
Nodding his head, Ethan whispered, “Yeah, I am.”
“Good,” Charlie leaned her head against his chest, “I love you, Ethan.”
“I love you, too, Charlotte.”
That was how they fell asleep – holding onto each other with persistent desperation and adoring reverence. Like they were so lucky to even get the opportunity to fall asleep together. Like it was a gift from the universe that they were here with each other. But it was better than fate – it was deliberate choice. It was an active effort to stay.
And it was the beginning of everything.
