Alwinski

Son of God ☝️/ MCGI.Org / Architecture 💚

[alwinsabino]

There were times that I want to give up and sometimes that I want to leave, but I know this is my responsibility and obligation. And yes, I'm still here. No matter what others may say or think about me, I don't care. I'm well persevered and always willing to give the best of my talent to serve God. I'm Alwin Sabino, WDTK. 05262016. Thanks be to God. 👊🏻☝🏻

[alwinsabino]

️▪️HYBRID▪️

Being different is not easy. It's hard to maintain the trust and sympathy of all people around you. It doesn't matter for me before, but the case gets even harder since I enter the path of truth. My life was miserable and melancholy. I'm living in darkness and lust as I continue to explore my hybrid life. I am a hybrid because I am capable of what normal being can do. It's an advantage when you think, but it isn't. Some people don't accept the existence of us. They even discriminate the presence of us hybrids when were around, especially when they first saw you or if they found out the real you. A hybrid shines bright when place around normal people. It's like sparkling diamond when sun rays shines upon them. Most of the hybrids are beautiful and genuine compare to a normal being, but despite of this gift, hybrids are not capable of loving.. It's a sin.. A mortal sin.. Two hybrids can't fall in love with each other because it's forbidden. It's like a heaven and earth situation for both side even if it's really what you want. Some may accept it because they know you. But in the eyes of God, it's forbidden. We have so much love to give, that's why we are so cheerful and creative in many ways. I'm dating a hybrid and it feels great. But we know to ourselves that we can't be together even if he is willing to get into relationship. The dilemma is on me. I know and I'm well knowledgeable about our case so, we remain friends with care. I'm quite happy to meet new hybrids in the path of truth. I can conclude that we have all the same stories when it comes to love preferences. It's just different now. God has plan on us that we need to do... I'm not complaining to God why dis he do this to me, but instead I'm very much thankful for him because he let me choose this life of being a hybrid.

[alwinsabino]

️▪️REALIZATIONS▪️

As I found out things I'm not expecting to know, I have realized that not all friends are true. True in means that, sometimes you see them as one of your genuineness, but the actuality, it's slapping you the fact that they're not. Thus, don't let yourself be open to other people you think that you can be friends of, because sometimes your personality don't fit with them. As I asked that one friend of mine, about that numbing issue "that someone's being offended about the personality of the other one, causing her much pain and hurt." She said that never teased anybody about their physical appearance when it comes to that matter. I've realized that she doesn't even know how much I cared about her.. I'm always saying that she is fat or not in shape, just to remind her that she should not eat a lot. After all this time, she never understood the way I delivered it. "She even said that, it was done. Just forget about it" True friends don't leave things behind unsolved. So I didn't respond.. I'm not a friend that is very dramatic. I'm not a person who will always be there and cry for you when you find things hard. I'm a friend that is hard as rock to help you to be robust. If you're weak then I'll be strong, because I know that best friends depend on each other. I consider myself a wall for anyone I don't want to be part of my life, but since you showed that you're not worthy, then, I think I should refrain myself to you. I even open out myself and I thought we perceived of who we are in this world, but things don't fall into places which they should belong. So, maybe, that's the reason why I was shocked about the agony. The most offending part of these matters was that I found it out on the the other person which is not that close to you. Since then, I feel that you don't consider me as one of your friends, because true friends always open up with each other even in the hard times of their lives. I also realized something that I might need to observe more on who may understand, stay and bare. I'm not regretting of what friendship we have built, but I guess my expectations and trusts are just not belong to you, cause in the first place, you didn't awe those to me. As I end this, I knew to myself that it will never be the same as what we had before. Expect that. PS. Always take care of yourself.

[alwaysbeentreble]

I LITERALLY SCREAMED DO YOU GUYS JUST NOT HEAR HIM APPROACHING HE IS A 6 FOOT HOT GLASS OF WATER. NOTICE HIM SENPAI IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

[of-yaoi-and-stuff]

Well,time has been very kind to you, Usagi-san

Puberty do you good enough :v Straight from v-line to square chin

[akihikousagisan]

Yes, yes indeed. 

[yakumocchi]

[alwaysbeentreble]

Usagi is like the highest of goals for everyone’s life.

[yakumocchi]

Junjou Romantica OVA || Usami Akihiko

[alwinsabino]

Sembreak

This is unusual but I’m wanting this semestral break to extend for at least 1 month more. I’m enjoying everything that’s happening in my stopgap free days. No stress, but more ‘puyat’ and more time to watch movies. I can live my life doing these things repeatedly, everyday. I have more time for myself. Finally, I can manage to go to my orthodontist on date, I can spend much time with Ash, bathe him, play with him and baby him. I just love what I’m doing. I even rescind my supposedly last CAD course to experienced at least the semi-full time vacation with myself and to have time on all the things that surround me. I think the remaining days of this month will be my adjusting period for the coming second sem of my fourth year life.

[alwinsabino]

Sembreak-Enrollment

No plates, no stress, no annoying professors. Finally! It’s semestral break already!

This semester drained me so much, I almost gave up on everything we were doing, expressly in plates.

I felt like they wanted to torture us on every project that they give. I don’t mind if it’s individual, but at least give us a fair fight. They expecting a good work from us, but they gave us tons of load that they know we complained about, but still they pushed it. Expect more of it on this coming semester

Tomorrow will be our enrollment.

I’m expecting more of foul smells and more frown faces in the line at the cashier station paying their tuition fees, but who are we to complain? The school offers cheap education so what do we need to grumble about?

Despite of these negativities, still, I’m expecting a good day tomorrow. Seeing your crushes around the corridors, your favorite teachers, classmates and many more. But at least may I have a guide from God, to let me to be enrolled early.

That’s for now, I guess. Good night.

[alwinsabino]

Pack (Fvck) Up

The semester is near to end and everyone is excited because, finally they can rest for at-least 3 weeks and fill their shortcomings to themselves, families and friends. I’m excited, but at the same time, worried and anxious about my performance and output this semester.

There are so many happenings that tested our faith and delicacy in our course.

1. The super arduous major plate which was a ‘A Proposed Mixed-Use Development’ that’s supposedly by group, but he wanted us to work hard, punished and repeatedly pushes us to our limits, so it turned to be an individual plate. (Thanks, God because I was able finished it.)

2. The BT Working drawings that should be passed on Thursday (with stair details added, because we requested to move the submission (Tuesday to Thursday.) due to the conflict between DesVII) Thank you, sir Pineda for your KIND consideration.

3. Our irritating, irk-y, egotistical and OSTENTATIOUS statics professor that always bothers us on our 'foolishness’ in his subject. He is a very down to earth man that he always makes us feel down, that’s why sometimes I think too much bad things about him

4. Technical Writing. This subject really pesters me everyday. I don’t know if she is unfair or it’s just us? My group-mates? Both of us? I don’t know. I can’t tell who’s/re wrong. I just pray that we all pass her subject and also have a good closure with her because of her displeasure on us.

I’m not mad personally to anyone (my group) but, this time, let me express my feelings. After this, I’ll not post any rant to anyone. I hate this but I know, somehow it can ease the pain I feel.

First in our Mid-term activity. Joemar and I feel the unfairness with our group. We did all the writings on index card. You three presented to buy index cards when it can be bought by one. See what can happen if only one get out? We can write many as what maam’s limits. But still, you three go. And at the end of our class, we distributed our (me and Joemar) works to everyone of us in our group which you know you didn’t deserve to have. I’m sorry.

Am I and Joemar always the one who will remind you to go to school early and bring your corporate attires/laptops USB because anytime we can present? What? You always 'seen’ my/our chats!! You always say that “FEELING KO NEXT WEEK PA TAYO. FEELING KO DI TAYO AABUTIN” and the like.. But see? Look what happened, guys? You always act cool! Know your priorities. We all have the same load and works to do. Stop talking about AlDub, heartbreaks, Louie, plates, etc! Don’t use those supposed stupidities as an excuse for all the time in this matter!

I know I have some shortcomings, but I’m proving something that I want you to notice, but you’re all busy with your thing!

Don’t just rely on my internet and Reigna. You (Gladys and Namae) always pointing Reigna about these. She did her part so don’t find and blame her!

Namae: It’s your task to do our presentation, yes it’s good! But it’s on internet! Not at all times I have a signal to load that slides! So please, do some effort to save it in your USB. And you know? You’re the reason why we are not able to present last time! Why? Because you were late! And it seems like you were just relaxed at that moment! You’re reasoning about the projector? Why you didn’t tell us that it will be unavailable during the time of our class? That you don’t know how to use it? And it’s only available on Acers? You should’ve told us so we can do some adjustments in our presentation. Ugh. I’m sorry, Namae. I know you’re smart enough to know that you should come to school early that day! It’s our presentation! And honestly, you did not do your tasks right, especially on Chapter 4. It started when your dog Zeus died. You let us (me and Joemar) do the job. We gave you chance to do our 3D model but still you left the work on me. I did the interior, floor plan, aerial view and sample home design! You’re reasoning that you don’t have Lumion? What? You have Sketchup to do the model, and all you have to do is to send it to me! But it was done, so thanks for the cooperation. And last the animation of slides. And look?? What now?!

Gladys: I understand that you are down and not doing well, because of Louie. I admire your talent and your management in your time. But it seems like you didn’t applied it on our group. You’ve played safe. You chose the task that you know you can do easily. You chose the chapter 3 which you have the guidelines and yes, that chapter is incomplete and you did not do anything to finish it. You always rant on anything and in anyone especially on Reigna. You’re the one who is bossy not Chelle. Anyways it’s out of our circle, but yeah, you’re playing safe. Always..

And about the plate?

Hi, Reigna! I know you’re not doing things right especially nowadays. You are having some doubts about everything. I know, because I always read your posts here. Just don’t be shy to say help because you know that I’ll be always here for you if you need something. I know that you have your best friend, Tabs in your side but even if sometimes you’re taking me as a joker friend, this funny guy can also can help, at-least a 'little.'

And now. I presented to do our final paper design. Its not my job but no one will do it! One is playing safe, and others are busy with their unfinished plate. No one cares! They just seen the message. The hell. Kumilos naman kayo ng maayos!

”wow ha?!“ I know you’re gonna tell that. I don’t care!

I’m done! I’ll go back to work at 10 PM.

[alwinsabino]

ZEUS

The plate was given.

I’m staring at my laptop for almost 3 hours from now and still, nothing popping in my head.

Ash is sleeping besides me. I look at him every time and I always smile. Even if he is always the reason why my room is so befouled and beastly, I still love him. You know, he’s just a dog.

Looking more of Ash I see a glimpse of Zeus in his eyes. Making me still somehow feel the ‘lost feeling’ of Namae. He’s almost 10 months, but then passed away last few days ago because of infection caused by bacteria and hookworm. Namae looks naive but she’s not. She is stronger and better than me physically and emotionally.

I still find her a puzzling friend of mine, though I know her, she’s BP.

Dogs are awesome! They somehow understand us, but people are juxtapose of it. I remember when once I’m afraid of dogs, and at the same time, I have the feeling to pet them. Lol.

Zeus always run after me whenever I go and I’m afraid because I’m thinking that he may bite me anytime, but he didn’t. I always want to feed him but my feelings say, don’t, he will bite you.

I carried Zeus once when walked to Ign’s school (Namae’s youngest sister). He’s heavy! I think 2x the weight of me? But it’s okay, Zeus is a very prudent dog, he loves Namae and I admire it.

I’ll not tell more about Ash cause this blog is mostly about Zeus, remembering how good that dog was.

I know, Namae will be better and as soon as she overcomes her bereavement, somehow I know Zeus will be happy.

I love you, Zeus!

[alwinsabino]

Sheets

3 days straight of hassle going home from school plus the fiery feeling inside the jeepney makes me feel furious.

Roving for almost 3 hours from school to house is never easy when it is supposedly 45 minutes only. I can do lot of things in 3 hours but because of the traffic caused by unknown, I’m sleeping it to spare my energy.

Going and departing from school is like a punishment in my daily life, cause it consumes 30 percent of my daily activities. I’m not saying school is not good, it’s the obstacles I’m facing going.

The daily routine inside the college is still the same, nothing new. My classmates are doing well. They’ve been better, and me, I don’t know if I had any improvement at all.

The plates are coming, we should prepare and be ready. All things that’s needed to finished should be done early. Combustion in mind may happen if we didn’t meet the requirements we should’ve done when the plates and exam came.

Yesterday, my best friend, Christian, a Psychology student asked me to examined my behavior cause he said that it’s their project to examine someone’s personality and attitude. And I agreed to it.

Twas fun doing it! Tho, I’m a little bit ashamed when once he asked me some confidential questions like sex life, gender identity, family, etc.. I kidded him after the evaluation that he will be my personal doctor if I become demented. He even said ‘yes’.

In the whole time of the day, I’m chatting with Justin. He invited me to go out on a date this coming Sunday afternoon and I said yes. I’m happy when he always talks to me and he never get tired of it, even if I know that I’m boring.

I like people who are doing the first move talking to me.

And now, I’m revising my plan in BT III, then probably, I’ll finished my structural sheet plans before going to sleep. Anyway, the take home plate was announced 1 hour ago.

This day will end while me talking to Justin.

[alwinsabino]

Tragic

A thesis without any preparations is considered as trash. Having not enough time to organize and prepare for today’s presentation makes me feel so meritless.

I find it understandable for us, because it’s also our professor’s shortcoming. But In spite of being a gobbledegook instructor, she is nice and just chill at the same time.

Morning rise again, me and Joemar prepared for school. He spent his prodigal night with me to do our research/thesis that was about to be presented later.

We came in class late, also our professor too. (Humanities)

Later part, Janica announced that ma'am Cresita won’t be able to meet us so, the presentation will be in the coming weeks.

Its okay cause I didn’t do anything that night except photoshop-ing the midterm activity which was film criticism.

I enjoyed using photoshop, but I copied and pasted all the contents of my review. Though I hope ma'am will not notice it.

As the class was ceased, the mid-term plate in BU was given. I felt excited, cause I’m expecting a higher grade. But the excitement faded and turns into a dubious feeling.

I received 82, not just me but also BP and all who copied my work. That was one of the horrendous thing happened in my life.

I felt like my world would tear apart on those words that ma'am Umali propelled.

“Guys, pasensyahan tayo ah. Siguro kilala niyo na kung sino kayong mga nagkopyahan ng gawa. Wag niyo na kong gaguhin, mga 4th year na kayo. Kung gusto niyo ng grade na mas mataas sa singko, ayusin niyo!” Then she left.

My world really stopped at the moment. And I together with my friends just looked at each other, cause we know that we are the ones which ma'am Umali was referring to.

We explained ourselves to maam, and she was really cool that moment. She was not resentful at all! I thanked her for forgiving us specially me. After she have knew that I was just trying to help everybody and it wasn’t my intention from then to duplicate it, she exempted me for doing the plate again, instead she will increase my grade to what I deserve and that made me the happiest that time.

Although tough times come, we still making plans to overcome it and I’m just lucky to have these awesome people in my life. BP, I can say one of the best treasure I can have in my whole life.

After that mini tragic moment, we just ate and talk for things that we can palaver with. I’ve decided to borrow the laptop of Robert for me to watch the ‘Avengers Age of Ultron.’

The movie was good and worth my 2 hours.

Sir Mamiit entered. We discussed about the next major plate he will give, then after he changed the topic in to more serious one. He stated that there are students who will fail in his class. He asked us, what’s wrong. What do we think is wrong about us?

Amiel, took the chance to speak. And as I remember, he mentioned that he is somehow or quite unsure if architecture is really what he wanted.

I also stood up for the class and I affirmed that I’m very anxious in every plate that he gives. It’s not that I’m not be able to finish my plate on time but, it’s the way I think that I cant do it on what he is expecting. I also said that after the plate even if it's complete, I feel not happy and inadequate on what I've done.

After the conversation. Sir joked about anything he wanted to tell. That’s somehow funny ha?

After class, Sakura and I went to MoA after class to supposedly watch concert of Wish.Fm. But we just entered and easily got out from the SMX. We ate and rode the pirate ride together with Jessica and Eldrich.

This day, I can say a much better than yesterday, and I’m still looking forward for a better day/s that may come to my first sem life

[alwinsabino]

Still, I'm Okay.

As the morning meets me, it's the same as everyday like I'm having no goals to do for the whole day. I used to be alone every morning. Ash is lying under the bed. He's not sleeping, waiting me to wake up and feed him, though I know that's what I'm going to do, but, still I'm indolent to rouse. Something comes out to my head, making me tarry more on my messy bed and as I remember, this occurrence always remind me that I should overthink more of it since the day it was horrendously done. An hour passed, and as I expected, the cage adjacent to my room has poop and his pee was on outside the cage, 'What's new?'. It is really a good start on what to do in the morning. 7:15 AM. My brother-in-law knocked and I go downstairs departing the mire on the room. He together with his son, Jask asked me if the dog was okay, then I responsed, 'Yes', (while processing at the back of my mind saying how about me?) Are they going to ask me if I'm okay? Though I'm okay, I'm just wondering if they somehow care about my existence. I'm going to be late, I know that. I've delivered Ash to my 'kuya', causing me hours to stay more in their house and resulting me to come to school tardy. As I penetrate the class late, it seems that sir Tee is just commencing for the quiz to start. I don't know where to sit, 'cause we don't have rules in taking seats, so Chelle and her seat mate that I've forgot the face told me to sit in the table of Reigna and Christina. (I felt fortunate at the same time for acing the quiz). He just nodded when I said that I'll be sitting beside them. I don't know anything about the lesson and I sensed ignominy for myself, so I offered that I'll be going to indite our solution (actually theirs) for somehow I can help. I even searched in the internet on some problems (that's really prohibited), but it didn't showed me any answer so I'm feeble about anything when they asked me to solve. Anyway the quiz ended fine. Thanks to both of them. I went out of the room poker, but fine. I'm still scrutinizing for some fun that may happen at that time. As we sit down in front of the AVR-2B, the clamor started. I pleaded Namae to accompany me to buy our lunch. I'm starting to be enraged on the noises piercing my ears. I don't know, maybe because I have lack of sleep last night, because of that addicted game. Namae opened up about Zeus (her dog) being disparage on his health and needed to be confined as early as possible. So after buying foods she quickly, she says good bye. The class started and the result of the exam I'm anxious about was given. And as what my anticipation regarding the exam, I'm failed, still I'm okay. Sir Pineda discussed a little about fastening. He reminded us about our next and last exam which are Fastening and Hardware. I'm not in the mood to listen to his murmur and I'm sorry for that. This day will end that I'm not sleeping. I'm with my classmate, Joemar doing our thesis andy humanities major activity. I'm still hoping for a better day to come, and I hope the past personality I had come back. I feel that I lost my excitement in life, but even tho I don't have it, I'm still okay.

[alwinsabino]

Me trying to fix my life. #VSCOcam