krscods:
You can’t knock the bagels in New York, they are kind of the best. It’s one of the few things I miss about living there. I think we all get a little homesick after a while. Ben and I did the New York thing and spent some time in New Zealand before I came back here. I must be pretty fucked up to choose this hell hole over NZ huh? I could see that actually. That sounds pretty damn accurate. I do have to say though, I talked to Nick and cleared the air about what happened that night and he told me to tell you he’s sorry for hitting you. He’s still not your biggest fan but he doesn’t think you’re the scum of the earth anymore. That’s progress right? Please don’t, I’ve heard it enough. I’m just saying, he’s getting old and will croak soon and you’re going to see some younger fans before your songs start getting played on radio under the “Oldies” category. Youtube is also kind of dead old man, you’d be better off finding some Instagramer or Tikoker. Get with the times or hire me to do your social media, ya dinosaur.
Nah, they’re reyt good, you won’t find me hating. Always got the most bougie fillings, too. The bagel’s couldn’t keep me, but I ‘ave a feeling the mountains in NZ probably coulda. You traded the majestic hills of Hobbiton for the rain ‘n chip butties? Mad. But I respect it. Oh, yeah? Bit of an equivocal apology, but fair enough. Don’t think we’ll be sitting down at the tea table together anytime soon, but you were right, it did give me an edge with the ladies, so just tell ‘im it weren’t a bother - he can use my face as target practice some more if he feels like it. He’s still out there makin’ moves with Beck and Dominic Fike last I ‘eard - he’s not a regular grandpa, he’s a cool grandpa. I wouldn’t be surprised if he falls arse over tit at some ostentatious party when he’s 101 and that’s how he goes - cool until the very end. Does that mean we can look forward to having a Kaya Scodelario appearance in one of our music videos? I know working with musicians who are past their expiry date is sort of your thing. How’s Robbie Williams doing? You still doing visitations with him in the carehome? Uh, we ‘ave a Tweeter, thank you very much. I just dunno who the ‘eck runs it or what ‘we’re’ saying - I’d say you could take it over if I didn’t ‘ave the absolute fear that you’d start posting old photos and doublecross me. At least I’m going extinct with grace and aren’t tryna keep up with the kids - I don’t know what TikTok does, but I bet my arse you’ve got an account, ‘aven’t you?












