"hint of light in the dark'

this is my narration

[alyssa-m]

I’m always chasing sunsets just trying to watch the sun tumble forward.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

I thought I wanted romantic love but as I looked around I saw love everywhere, in the plants that sit on the window sill, in my dog whose tail can’t stop wagging when I get home, and in the ocean every time it grazes the shore line. And I suddenly forgot about how I wanted it when it was all I could see.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

I keep looking for you in everyone, I promise it will stop soon, I hope that it will stop soon.

[alyssa-m]

Must suck to see even sun set and the glare of the moon and have to think of me.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

We both giggle with the music volume blurring the lines, someone at the door is knocking, we don’t notice it, the oven is heating up and the stove top is full, the door is still knocking, the sink is piling and the water is running down over them with soap overflowing, we are talking to fast that the sentences are new words and the door is knocking, when I wake the next morning everything is gone, the room is clean, the silence is loud, and the room is still. This entire story never happened but this is how it felt when you left.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

The storm doesn’t last forever, sure sometimes it floods and destroys. But haven’t you seen what happens next, everything blooms bigger and fuller. This isn’t about nature or storms but somehow it still heals.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

And just like that the color lingered back into my face from the blue that marked it from the breathe that was taken. Oh how the autumn is always falling and pieces are always crumbling. Thank god the spring with bring new blooms.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

It was impossible for me to only half love anything, I love so hard that when I have to ungrip my hands it takes time before they are able to move again. And you wonder why I try to keep you at a distance.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

I laughed and said “oh I know how fast things can change, I watch the ocean everyday.”

AMM

[alyssa-m]

At the end of the day I still get to love whole heartedly despite your actions and what a beautiful gift that is.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

None of this reflects me because I am not a mirror.

[alyssa-m]

Everyone’s windshield wipers are on in la but the sun is out, the only thing that was falling was the tears ob my gray sweatshirt.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

As time passed I didn’t even recognize you, you were only someone I knew online.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

They said happiness looks really good on me and I said well then you should see the other guy.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

But the made up version is so much prettier and I think of you as never leaving because you were never hear, a story I mended with someone who cared, I’m a bigger person but I still overly trust, give apples to hands that feed me worms, and now I’m stronger when I know how to leave but the windows always opening and I hope I’ll see you there staring back at me.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

We met and the night you drove home you saw a car crash, how ironic.

AMM

[alyssa-m]

I almost said I love when we hung up the phone, I’m glad I didn’t but that was months ago, and now I’m grieving in silence over a person I didn’t know, silly girl you were so easily tricked, because you left when you saw a glimmer of hope in me.

AMM