Amanda Loves Kugel and Cowboys

Follow my journey through being halachically observant as a student at The University of Texas in Austin, and my personal struggles and difficulties, and hopefully some laughs too.

[whatshouldwecallme]

When my secular friends want to go to a bar

[amandasteintexas]

[whatshouldwecallme]

When my friend starts planning a wedding for a guy I JUST started dating

[amandasteintexas]

Slow down!

[whatshouldwecallme]

Telling a funny story from Neve to outside people

[whatshouldwecallme]

When your friend from seminary gets engaged

[whatshouldwecallme]

What is desperately needed when coming back from seminary

Reality:

[whatshouldwecallme]

How my friends felt when I came back from seminary

[amandasteintexas]

The truth about food in Israel. It is also complete with pictures. 

[thetimeistudiedabroad]

When I saw the Beis Yaakov flash mob at lunch

[amandasteintexas]

[wasthatweird]

Every time I eat at a restaurant in Jerusalem

[amandasteintexas]

[amandasteintexas]

That Awkward Moment...

...when you realize you are frummer than you ever thought you would be. 

So, becoming Orthodox is a process. In the beginning I knew I wanted to eventually be strict on the halacha, pretty machmir, but very in touch with modern life. I thought I would marry a pretty modern guy. 

Then I realized that how strict I am, very high necklines, elbows covered, knees covered, hair fully covered when married, shomer negiah, separate beds when married, etc. means that I fit in an often more Yeshivish group. 

It's hard to find a balance though! I like secular music, watching TV and movies, etc. I also love wearing flip flops (which means that I don't wear tights casually). However, I value very studious and halachically strict ideas and values. I take halachah pretty seriously. I also feel more comfortable in a Yeshivish community than a Modern community (I don't like being the most frum person in a community). 

So, where do I fit in all of this? I'm going to Neve after graduation in December, and I am thinking that it might be too Yeshivish for me. What if I don't fit in with the girls?

Two years ago I would have probably made fun of myself now. Last week I made a list on fb, put all males on that list, and then blocked them from my photo albums with untznius pictures. I'm THAT girl. Not because I'm ashamed of not growing up religious, but because I'm uncomfortable with the fact that any boy could have looked at my profile pics and seen my legs and arms. So being tznius really does increase sensitivity. 

[amandasteintexas]

Ahhhh, yes, in a little over a week, Pesach will be upon us. Let the freaking out begin........ NOW! 

I actually had a nightmare 2 nights ago that I went to buy a few items for Passover and it costed $400 and I had no money to pay for it. My credit card was declined and everything. I freaked out! Basically I woke up in a sweat and my heart was beating. I'm just going on the macaroon diet this Pesach. B'H I know where I'm going on all the Yomim Tovim, so the seders and all are covered, but chol hamoed is scaring me. Macaroons, marshmallows, and kosher l'Pesach Diet Coke. I think that is an appropriate diet, right?

Now how does one keep kosher for Passover in a large city with a small Orthodox population? Luckily, our kosher store has a ton of items, many which are odd and unnecessary for the 8 days exist in this store, but only up until Pesach. Chol hamoed only has kosher salt, large vats of oil, and marshmallows. 

Oh, and if you are Sephardi, don't plan on finding any kitnios food items. The kosher store is overrun with Ashkenazi pride. 

And being a student makes it really easy for me. There are seders at Chabad, Hillel, and my rabbi's house! And there are meals for the Yomim Tovim at different places. Hillel even offers a Pesach meal plan for lunches and dinners. So, down here, by campus, we are pretty lucky. 

[amandasteintexas]

So today was the first day of camp. It's supposed to be over 100 degrees all week and it's the first summer that I'm dressing tznius (modestly). This is my standard camp outfit, and I'm super sweaty and gross. A whole summer of this. I guess it's more for the benefit of the guys than myself that I can't touch them because with how smelly and sweaty I'm getting, no one will want to get near. And this is my bathing suit! Oh Texas summers! I love you so much! (Plus think of the sexy tan lines I'm going to have ;)

[amandasteintexas]

My find of the week at Target. Manny on clearance. I felt the desire to text AEPi boys so they could stock up for next year's Mannyville, but unfortunately the wine was not kosher for Passover, and actually, there wasn't an actual hecksher printed on it, just the phrase "Under the supervision of the Orthodox Union," so I didn't buy it. Also, have you ever been drunk on Manny? I had a Manny drunk shabbat once, and it was brutal, so Manny and I are on a break. 

[amandasteintexas]

Do blogs really matter?

Probably not, particularly since I blogged from the age of 15-18 about angsty teenage problems posted on Myspace for all my friends to read with titles from bands like Motion City Soundtrack and Sound of Animals Fighting telling my latest troubles with my parents protesting my cigarette smoking, or whatever depressed poem I could create. Secretly, my Myspace still exists if one would like to read the entries, although if I were to read it, I would desire to go back in time and slap the 17 year old me. 

So obviously I've improved and moved up in the world because I've ditched my "scene" Myspace friends, have kept any unnerving ideas deep inside, and have at least matured past angsty pop-rock bands (except on long road trips when I secretly pop in my Fall Out Boy CD and sing at the top of my lungs to pass the time). 

Again to the main question here: do blogs matter? Doe it matter if I post my thoughts, and are my thoughts even entertaining enough to be worthwhile? Now obviously I don't believe myself to be any kind of Perez Hilton, here. But I'd like to hope that my entries won't begin a huge chain effect of readers falling asleep and suing me for computer damages because they drooled on their keyboards, but we will have to wait and see. 

Well, this themeless, long-winded blog entry was an attempt to pull my thoughts together towards a themed idea in which to post my entries. It failed. But I will probably just blog about what I know, which are Jews and Jewish things, and being observant at the University of Texas, and possibly some entries about working with kids, but we will see. 

Anyway, the first day of camp is tomorrow, so i'm going to finish this episode of Doctor Who, say my nightly blessings/Sh'ma, and head to bed. 

Laila tov chaverim!