𝘚𝘜𝘕𝘚𝘏𝘐𝘕𝘌.

amara gwendolyn hawthorne • forty-two • former ice skater • ballet instructor • volunteer at happy tails • daughter & sister

[amaraxhawthcrne]

hands shaking while pretending to be okay / being strong until you can’t be anymore / loving from a distance because it feels safer / numbness mistaken for strength / music turned up to drown out thoughts / tears that come without warning / perfectionism as armor, compassion as instinct / fixing everyone else before herself

basic info.

name: amara gwendolyn hawthorne nicknames: gwen, amy, mara age: 42 birthday: 25th december 1983 gender + pronouns: cis female / she/her birthplace: windsor bay, oregon current residence: mountainside, windsor bay, oregon occupation: dance instructor at ballet babies / volunteer at happy tails / part-time instructor at crafty hands strengths: fiercely loyal, compassionate, caring & protective weaknesses: controlling, perfectionistic, struggles with vulnerability, unforgiving

digging deeper.

“If you could recommend one hidden gem around town everyone should try, what is it? What makes it so special?”

"Just one?" Honestly, most places that flooded her mind were probably not that hidden at all, it just depended on what a person was looking for, but Amara had inherited some of her mother's adventurous outlook and she believed you had to at least try something before making up your mind about it. "Okay, I don't mean to be biased but I'd say Crafty Hands get a lot less credit than it deserves. You should come check the place especially over the holidays season. We're packed with courses that even kids can join in on. Or you could stop by and get something original as a last minute gift."

“What’s your family like? Are you still close, or have you blocked all their numbers?”

Growing up Amara always admired her parents ability to balance their business partnership with their roles as parents and role models for her and her siblings. Her father was definitely more strict, expecting more and planning out their futures while her mother was a dreamer — she believed everyone had to choose their own path in life and a parent should only intefere as a guiding light during rough times. As result some of her siblings fulfilled their father's desires whereas others, like Amara herself, remind wandering through life without a set plan for the future.

"We've always been close but I'd say in our own way." Her eyes went dim for a moment, the corner of her lips twitching downward. "We've all scattered now but we try to gather for the holidays or on big family events. And we don't go a day without talking on the phone at least once."

“Top five songs currently on your Spotify?”

"Top five songs currently?" Amara repeated the question, her expression shifting for a moment as she tried to recall the songs she's listened last to. Eventually she pulled up her phone, scrolling to the Spotify app and over her recently played songs. "Oh," she let out a soft laugh. "Well, the first one is The Nutcracker. You know.. That famous tune which gets in your head over Christmas time each year. Ta-du-dum, ta-dum, ta-du-dum, ta-du-dum, ta-du-du-du-dum.." She hummed. "Then I've got Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve." She said, scrolling further down the list. "Honestly, I lot of my recently played songs have something to do with my work." She mused. "Third one is Not Goodbye by The Goo Goo Dolls. Then we've got Hello My Old Lover by Dove Cameron. God, I love this one and it actually makes me less ancient." Amara laughed. "Okay, so that makes it what? My top four so far... One more to go. Oh, okay, well that's definitely a turning point by I guess I've also listened to You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi. Definitely a mix of everything we've got here."

“Would you say you’re easy to get along/work with? Why or why not?”

"You'll have to ask other people about it." Amara chuckled. "My personal opinion is that I'm easy to get along. As someone who normally goes with the flow, I'll agree on whatever someone suggests and people often tell me I tend to people please and should stand my own ground more, but it's hard when it's become sort of a second nature by now."

“Do you have any regrets? What are they?”

Letting out a soft, halfhearted sigh, Amara rolled her eyes. "I'm sure we've all got plenty." Her path in life was marked with missed opportunities she was too afraid to jump in on. However, one stood out. It wasn't often Amara allowed herself to look back and it was because she feared that defying moment would come up, a memory she'd buried deep down resurfacing. "I hurt someone once." She bit the inside of her cheek, her lips twisting. "We almost got married, then I got the cold feet and bailed on the whole thing last minute." There were times she wondered what life would be like, if she didn't, but overall she knew quitting was the right thing. Her only regret being the way she did it.

“It’s the little things in life; tell me three things that bring you a great deal of joy or put a smile on your face.”

"I like slow mornings. It's the reason why I could never see myself working in corporate environment. I have no issue with waking up early, but I like taking the time to enjoy my first cup of coffee, maybe watch the sunrise. I need at least an hour to myself in the morning — scrolling on my phone, journaling, soaking up the moment." As she talked a small smile curved her lips. "Then we have animals. All kinds, but dogs and horses especially. I love taking long walks with my dog. Or spending time at Happy Tails and giving all the strays there the love they deserve."

wanted connections.

the ‘we almost had it all’ : someone amara allowed in and they almost had it, but the night before their wedding she got cold feet and ran, ghosting him afterwards. it happened right before she came back to windsor bay and to this day the way she broke things off is one of her biggest regret. i’d love to plot where they stand now.

childhood friend: windsor bay native or someone amara has knowns since childhood — maybe they lived in the same neighborhood or went to the same school and growing up they were inseparable. they grew apart after graduation when each took their own path in life. i’d love to have some sort of rekindlement happening though.

the friend who knows too much: someone she met in her late teens / early adulthood. they are aware of her mental health issues, possibly been there to witness her during hypomanic highs and depressive crashes. they know her coping habits and can tell when she’s lying about being okay, but amara trusts them with silence. they are genuinely concerned about her but know not to interfere too much but it usually works quite the opposite to what their true intentions are.

the small-town constant: someone amara is on the friendly basis with (neighbor, coworker, fellow volunteer, etc.) who shares her interests. they usually indulge a small talk every now and then but never go too deep into personal stuff. someone who doesn’t ask invasive questions and simply makes staying feel possible.

the one she never let herself want: someone she had a crush on as a teen / young adult but they never became more than close friends. it was always the wrong timing, wrong circumstances type of situation. 

tinder date gone right: someone she agreed to meet with after a gentle nudge from a friend, who also helped set up her profile on the app, and it didn’t go as planned but they happened to enjoy each other’s company and build on a friendship. we can definitely plot if it goes further than the friendship base or not.

potential love interest: someone who sees through her competence and challenges her belief that love must be earned, who waits without demanding. prepare yourself for a slow-burn romance.

therapist: someone she sees on a regular basis and they’ve build sort of a friendship over time, but they still keep it professional during their sessions. someone who sees her patterns clearly and challenges her gently. p.s. amara suffers from bipolar disorder type II.

[cassandrareid]

❛ ☾ ◟━ LOCATION: sweet whiskers

❛ ☾ ◟━ TIME: morning

❛ ☾ ◟━ STATUS: OPEN to everyone ( @windsorbaystarters )

Having the day to herself, Cassandra wasn't going to miss the opportunity of getting things done. Currently, she was at Sweet Whiskers, enjoying her latte while working on some of her clients' paperwork and other admin responsibilities. It was a challenge to focus on both her work and the surrounding cats around her, but she managed and was certainly proud of what she accomplished. "Hey buddy..." she suddenly called out to a Calico cat that was approaching her table. "No one tell Cleo...I know she's the jealous type." she mused to the person next to her. "—Do you have any cats of your own?"

[amaraxhawthcrne]

Over the years, Amara had figured she was always going to be more of a dog person than a cat one, but that never stopped her from caring for both. She was smiling at a cat's biggest stretch while laying on a patch of sunlight when a familiar voice caught to her. "I won't." She turned to look at Cassie. "If you don't tell Maple I came here by myself." She would have loved to bring her two-year-old golden retriever, if only the decision to stop by wasn't made on the spot. She's got the afternoon off after numerous parents called her they won't be able to make it, making her call off the class — something about a seasonal infection that seemed to be spreading around, especially among children. "Occasionally I do. It's been a while since I've brought in a stray or a foster, though. But Maple goes totally insane whenever I do. He loved playing the big brother role and teaching them all the shenanigans." And that's what surprised most people each time — the fact that her dog was completely in love with cats, contrary to common belief about both species hating each other.

[brendannichols]

A satisfied smirk stayed put on Brendan's face, feeding into the slightly flirtatious energy. "It depends who the teacher is," he said with a shrug. He had experiences where some teachers were more hands on, while others encouraged a lot of creative freedom. "If you need guidance, you can always ask me." He wasn't a properly trained artist, but he had enough experience sketching and tattooing for him to have picked up some things when it comes to painting on canvas. "I'm Brendan, nice to meet you. That's a beautiful name you have there, Amara."

[amaraxhawthcrne]

"In that case I hope we get one willing to give us a piece of guidance." Amara shrugged, chuckling. She had no doubts she'll be good at filling up the canvas with color and she was naturally good at matching shades, which gave her enough confidence to consider she'll be good at masking any imperfections — what really bothered her was her painting becoming too abstract and hard to read. Even if this seemed to be a trend in art nowadays. "Well, thank you." She glanced back at Brendan, following his offer to help. Her cheeks warmed at the compliment of her name and she reached for the glass of soda, unsure what to say without repeating herself. It was also the first time it occured to her he might be flirting, so silence felt like the polite way to decline these advances. "So... Are you an artist?" She asked. "And it's nice to meet you, too."

[amaraxhawthcrne]

closed starter for @nainaxvyas location: corks & wines

Amara couldn't even recall the last time she'd stepped foot inside a wine shop — inside any shop selling alcohol of some sort, in fact. Not counting the groceries stores, where she purposely avoided those aisles. With time the need to consume it has simply vanished, dulled; it was easier to follow doctor's orders when she was never much of a drinker in the first place.

Seeing all the variety, felt overwhelming. She'd heard good things about the place, but certainly didn't expect it to be this packed. She took her time, walking around with eyes wandering over the labels on each bottle and taking mental notes on the ones that stood out and piqued her interest — not because she planned on breaking her sobriety but they all seemed liked good choices for a gift. A gift, that's what she'd come in here for, so walking up to the front counter, she offered a smile to the woman behind it. "Do you happen to have those fancy bottles - the small, cutesy ones - preferrably with sparkling wine?"

[jj-hayes]

"Because skating is not just a sport. It's also a life skill," JJ clarified with a shrug of his shoulders, which was then followed by a laugh. "I'll tell you what. I was never into the athletic side of things, but it never hurt to learn something new. Maybe it was the fact that I had undiagnosed ADHD back then. I wanted to learn how to skate, so I did. But I didn't want to play hockey, so I didn't. It's as simple as that. Besides, it did come in handy when I was on the rink this one time and has a pretty girl fall right into my arms, didn't it?" He could not help but tease her as he took a sip of his coffee, smirking. "I feel like hockey's too violent for me. I couldn't even watch it when it was on, let alone play it." He let out another laugh as he set down his mug. "I mean... Yeah, it was weird. But Cordelia was born premature and had to spend a lot of time in the NICU... So, it didn't take me long to get attached to Mia when she was in the NICU. Truth be told, Cordelia was the one who talked me into adopting her because... She said I would know what I was doing, because she turned out alright. I guess she wasn't entirely wrong about that." JJ definitely owed his sister for believing in him when he couldn't believe in himself. Otherwise, he wouldn't have adopted Mia. That was an honest truth. "How do you like it? Being around the little ones?" He asked, curiously. Of course, he knew that Amara was comfortable enough around children to be able to work with them. But he wanted to know how she felt about them. He had a child, after all. He would want to know before they moved any further. But he also knew that she would understand why he felt the need to ask in the first place. "I'll think about it, and let you know... but it might take a while, I hope you don't mind." There was a part of him that was still a little hesitant about bringing a woman into his daughter's life. But he did feel some relief by the fact that it was Amara. Someone he knew. Someone he trusted. Someone he liked. Someone who liked kids.

[amaraxhawthcrne]

Amara felt heat rushing to her cheeks when JJ mentioned their encounter at the Holiday Extravaganza. He had a valid point, though. Two, if she had to be honest — one about skating being a life skill in general and the second about it being handy that one time. "You won't let me forget it anytime soon, will you?" She teased him back, shaking her head in slight disbelief. It had been a momentary recklessness, which she was still prone to sometimes, but part of her didn't regret it the slightest because otherwise she probably wouldn't be here right now. When JJ mentioned his diagnosis, it made her reflect onto her own and whether she should say something about it. It generally wasn't an easy topic for her to discuss and didn't feel like one she should bring up on a first date, but she also knew the stakes and how postponing it could backfire at her later. "Well, I can tell you figure skating isn't any less violent." She sighed, chuckling. "It may look gracious and all but the competition is still fierce." Sometimes she even wondered how she'd managed to survive it all without breaking when she'd had her fair share of ups and downs back then. "My therapist actually encouraged me to give teaching a try. I'm not entirely sure what happened - whether someone retired or took a maternity leave, but the position was temporary when I applied." She knew his question wasn't focused on work side, but she wasn't sure how else to answer it. "I had experience couching teens, but little ones... It felt daunting. Even if I practically raised my siblings alongside my mother. But it looks different when you're an adult. I wasn't sure whether I'll be able to connect, become the role model they need... But as my therapist said - kids aren't as prejudiced as us adults are. They don’t expect you to be impressive. Just present. And... I like that." Sort of why she liked volunteering at the local shelter, too. It was that part of her, who learnt to be the one everyone else relied on, speaking. That same part she was still teaching that it's okay to let people in and help. "It's also fun to see the world through their eyes where everything’s new and big and at times a bit overwhelming. I sort of understand that." The pause, which followed, wasn't intentional, but still needed. She'd gone a little too in-depth, maybe. "Of course, there's no rush. You've still got six or so months to think about it and even if you do sign her up, we can still do a couple one-on-one sessions first just so she wouldn't get overwhelmed on her first day." She was even willing to ask a colleague to step in, if there was any worry about a conflict of interest given their current situation, but she figured now wasn't the time to mention it.

[brendannichols]

It had been a moment since Brendan had set foot through the doors of Shade Culture. Which was surprising since art and alcohol were two of his favorite things in life. With a free afternoon on his schedule thanks to a last minute client cancellation, Brendan decided to take the rest of the day off and spontaneously ended up here. As soon as he took his seat, he placed his order of two glasses of wine, one red and the other white. "No, definitely not," he replied with a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Been awhile since I've been here, but I've been here quite a few times." His eyes glazed over her features, taking her all in and slightly checking her out. "So you're a virgin, huh? Paint and sip virgin, that is." The smile on his face never faltered as he flashed her a flirtatious glance.

[amaraxhawthcrne]

It felt weird being called a virgin, or perhaps it was the man's bluntness that caught her off guard and made her chuckle nervously. "You can say so." And judging from her intent on sticking to soda only, it seemed like she'll remain partially a virgin to the whole experience, too. At least she was glad she hadn't brought up the fact she had intended to bring her mother along — she really wouldn't want to know what his opinion might be then. "So, what shall I expect?" She asked. "Will they give us some sort of guidance or you just paint whatever?" Her eyes lingered a little too long on him, trying to figure if they've met before, but he seemed too young for their paths to have crossed before she'd left Windsor Bay and she'd remember if they've since she'd been back. "I'm Amara, by the way."

[alexbrecks]

Melinda Monroe in VIRGIN RIVER

"A Second Chance" | 5.01

[adriansinclair]

Adrian arrived a few minutes ahead of time, his flannel sleeves were rolled up and he held a cup of coffee from habit, not thirst. The odor of fresh paint struck him as he crossed the threshold and he almost stepped back outside. Before he could retreat, Amara appeared. He walked toward her without planning, placed the mug on the table beside a vacant chair and sat. "Didn't expect to see you here," he murmured. A faint, familiar smile lifted one corner of his mouth. "Guess the ocean wasn't enough chaos for one week."

[amaraxhawthcrne]

Adrian was one of the last faces Amara expected to see here. She tried to keep an open mind about it, but seeing him really did surprise her. "Are you here alone?" She asked, still startled by his presence. Tilting her head, she tried to peek and check for someone who might have managed to convince him come, but all she found was a line of empty seats, waiting to be filled. "You know, given our last few encounters, someone might think you're stalking him." Amara teased him, her words followed by a soft chuckle. "I guess I have my moments of needing the quiet." She shrugged. "And then there are moments when I need to be around people." She made a quick pause. "Besides, I've always wanted to try it out." Glancing at him, she allowed another moment of silence to stretch in the space between them. "What's your excuse?"

[holiday-diaz]

Holiday stared at the blank canvas, her eyes fixated on it as though she were trying to burn the picture she was imagining onto it with her mind instead of paint. She quickly turned to the woman beside her "Oh, yeah" she replied with a soft smile. "Never been much of an artist but i figure if someone can pass off a single white line on a blue canvas as a masterpiece my stuff can't be too bad" she laughed, brushing a few strands behind her ear. "Are you big into art?" she asked.

[amaraxhawthcrne]

"Oh, no," Amara shook her head, chuckling softly at the question. "Not even the slightest." Her mother was the one with an eye for these things. In fact, she seemed to be the most versatile in the family and always encouraged her children to try new things — partially the reason why Amara had made the committment to come. "But I've been into crafting, so I figured it wouldn't be so hard." Looking at the blank canvas, though, she felt a sense of unease climbing up her throat. "You're right, art has changed a lot in recent years. Luckily, we aren't expected to create the next masterpiece, so we might as well try to just have fun with it." She mused, picking up the biggest brush and put it in the glass of water close by. "Right?"

[edwardsbarrett]

"first time drinking and trying to paint?" she chuckled quietly to herself, like an inside joke that only she'd understand. "first time doing it with other people around," she admitted, voice light, smile curving upward as she caught the other's gaze. at least she'd already made a friend. well, kind of? "i went through a phase where i tried the whole paint and sip thing in my kitchen. i'm just hoping i'm better with guidance." that, and she'd been gifted the experience as a thank you from her older sibling. at least that's what they'd said when they transferred her the ticket. in reality, bear knew it was a way to get her out of the house. "do you paint?"

[amaraxhawthcrne]

Amara was pleasantly surprised to find the place offered an option for non-drinkers since that was one of her biggest concerns. Not that she has any issue with politely declining the glass of wine, even if it felt like she was robbing herself of some of the experience. "I don't know if there is much guidance." She mused, glancing at the already painted picture in the center. At least it wasn't hard — the blended colors offered enough room to cover up mistakes. The question brought he mind back to the present and she turned to meet the woman's gaze. "Not really." She shook her head. "I mean I've tried a few times but I fear I lack the imagination to come up with ideas to paint." A quick pause before she added. "I do a lot better with pottery or other crafts. What about you?"

[amaraxhawthcrne]

Card: Happy Valentine’s Day, Amara! Here’s a little something to remind you of our (second) first date. <3 -JJ 

[amaraxhawthcrne]

open starter @windsorbaystarters location: shade culture, coral coast

Walking in, the smell of paint hit her first. Shade Culture had been on her list of things to try for so long yet Amara had always imagined she'll come with some company to make the whole experience less daunting. The thought of bringing her mother had crossed her mind but the woman had called last minute to let her know she had a change of heart. She offered a small smile at the woman, who greeted her upon arrival and requested a glass of soda before heading towards the long table with set canvas. "Is this your first time, too?" She chuckled, taking a seat next another early comer. Noticing most of the seats were still empty, she hoped to at least break the ice and have a decent first experience.

[atlasxsinclair]

"I guess it's just one of those stupid things and tradition that some random person started a long time ago and it picked up and then it it turned into some kind of pressure thing to have goals for the new year," he replied shrugging his shoulders. The doctor really think at least to him it was stupid but he knew that other people actually found it useful and helpful for sure.

"Gotcha, I have always gone with the flow and never really planned anything after med school," he sighed running his hands for a moment. The doctor was silent for a bit before answering. "A little bit and also something else."

[amaraxhawthcrne]

"Maybe." Amara agreed with a light shrug of her shoulders. She was in the mood to argue about how and when the idea of New Year's resolutions had first come up and it was clear they shared similar opinion on it, so it felt pointless to further linger on the topic of it. What truly piqued her interest, though, was the lingering tension in the space around him — something his words hinted at shortly after, but never fully disclosed it, leaving Amara wondering whether she should ask or not. Taking a moment to study him, she glanced back at the empty street before letting out a sigh. "I've always found December to be the opposite of that saying how it's always calm before a storm." She mused, opting to not press him into sharing if he wasn't ready to. "It's like a disaster. In a good way. But still one, in which you get caught up in without a warning and before you know it, it's all over and you're left to deal with the quiet, which follows." She didn't mean for it to come off as poetic as it did, but she'd always been the observant one, seeing the world a lot differently than most. "Anyway, are you planning on going back in or shall we call it a night?"

[samairaxmallya]

One of the best things about reconnecting with an old friend, someone she used to know meant that the silences that took over between conversations could be described as comforting. Samaira didn’t feel the need to be on all the time with Amara and she appreciated that. “Maybe that’s true,” she smiled at the other with a shrug. “Only thing is—I never realized that Windsor Bay was actually becoming that for me.” Sure she’d once envisioned building a life here but her dreams were big and she’d opted to pursue those instead. Amara’s observation though had her eyes flash up to meet her gaze before shaking her head. “Nah I don’t think I’m actively wondering that now. I’m happy to be here, and do the best I can in whatever capacity.”

Samaira took another bite before hearing the next question and letting out a soft laugh. “No you’re okay, you’re not prying Amara,” she shrugged before shaking her head. “I really shouldn’t be surprised that other people are discussing it though huh? But yeah I guess she never really liked me much when JJ and I used to date, but yeah she came in no holds barred on New Years which initially left me a little unsettled but there’s not much I can do to change that, you know?” Samaira picked up her drink before looking back at Amara. “Would it be too gossipy if I asked you what exactly they were saying?” 

[amaraxhawthcrne]

"We often don't." Amara mused, shrugging. Her voice was so low, somewhere between a whisper and a murmur that she even wondered if Samaira had heard her at all. Though she was born and raised in Windsor Bay, Amara could still relate — despite drifting through life, even when it seemed she knew what she was doing, she always believed her happiness awaited her elsewhere. Perhaps it was the common pressure of getting out from the small town and into the big world, but ever since she's been back in town she'd figured calm was what she truly needed in life. Or at least at that certain stage of her life.

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't even realized she'd already gone through half of her bowl when her friend's words caught up to her. "Well, you can't escape the town's gossip." She chuckled softly. She believed it was true for any town, not only the small ones like Windsor Bay. The only difference was that in big cities the gossip usually got lost in the hustle most times. Besides, she wouldn't say the comments were malicious; it was just how news spread around town where not much happened on a daily basis. Washing down another bite with a sip from her water glass, Amara turned to look at Sam. "I didn't linger long enough to get read on the conversation, but it sounded like one was filling in the other on the latest news. You know how moms are." She wasn't sure about Samaira's, but her own mom used to have opinion on everything that happened in town, even if she was never a fan of gossip. "When there is some history, there is always something to gossip about."

[jj-hayes]

"I was lucky enough to only get skating lessons from him. I had no interest in playing hockey as a kid, as you can see why." JJ could not help the laugh that escaped him. "I was more suited for the academics and my brief stint in musical theater back in high school. Hockey would have destroyed me." But it had worked out for the best. All that time and energy that he had dedicated to his education had paid off in the form of his successful career as a double board certified physician. "I don't know if I can relate to that, entirely. In medicine, there's no place for a critic. The only thing that matters is the patient's life. I think that made it easier for me to ignore whatever criticisms came up. Of course, there are protocols and procedures. But it's... a whole other headspace. You can't have a career in medicine if you're not fully in it." At least, that was his experience. "I'm not going to lie. I would rather than pool than the stair stepper." He let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. "She spent her first Christmas at home with me, and there wasn't much to do because she was so young. We definitely made up for it, though." He did not like talking about everything that had happen with his daughter's health, especially not during a date. He knew that in due time, he would be sharing that with Amara. But today was just not the day to have that conversation either. "Yeah, seventeen years." He breathed out a sigh as he recalled the year his sister was born. "My parents had her when I was in my senior year and I decided not to go out of state for college. I commuted to Portland instead, just so that I can help them take care of her." There was a time when JJ would take Cordelia around town and get mistaken as being her father, because he had been old enough to be so. He always said that his little sister was his first child, and there was some truth to that. "Oh, yeah... I'm always going to look out for her. It's hard not to. I'm still getting used to seeing her as a full-grown adult, but I'll get there... eventually." Another laugh escaped his lips as he said that. "You know how it is to have younger siblings? It never stops." Perhaps that was one thing the two of them had in common. "Let me guess... The parents were not as fond of having their kids around the house during the holidays, and needed the place to leave them while they cleared their heads? I can relate to that. It's why I'm always leaving my kid with my family. Sometimes, you need to get away from them to breathe." As a single parent, JJ had always been honest about his experience. He loved Mia and enjoyed every bit of being a father. But he would be lying if he were to say that he loved all of it. Toddlers can be exhausting, especially during the stage in their lives when the emotions were big and loud. Taking time away to breathe was the healthiest way to parent a child so young, and making sure the child's needs were also taken care of in the form of a hobby was certainly an added bonus. "I... I think she might be a little young for that. I don't know. She's only seventeen years old, so I figured that I could give it a few more months. I'm thinking of getting her into ballet around the summer, so she can get familiar with being around other kids. I figured that would make it easier when it's time for pre-school." Truth be told, he would get her in a lot sooner if he could, because he did want Mia to experience being around other kids. But he also knew that Ballet Babies had an age requirement. "Are there any programs for kids under 2?" He asked, curiously. "I'm not familiar with the whole catalogue."

[amaraxhawthcrne]

"Wait- if you had no interest in hockey, why did you even get lessons?" Amara asked, her curiousity piqued, even when she could think of a least a couple reasonable explanations. Families where at least one member was actively involved in sports had that common belief that they should pass on the legacy to the next generations. Then there was also the other common belief that sports build character. At least that was how it was presented when they were kids, nowadays the modern way was that kids needed to stay active to aid their proper development. It was something Amara was ready to argue on given she knew of a few people, including her own self, who were actively involved in sports growing up, yet each had their own struggles. "I admit. It can turn rough sometimes." She nodded at his comment about hockey. She'd seen plenty of it to know it wasn't a sport fit for everybody. Amara listened as he shared what Mia's first Christmas was like, the corners of her lips pulling up into a gentle smile. "Wow, seventeen?" She felt awkward about sounding so surprised since she could have easily made the math herself, but even though they've met back in high school — JJ was still an year older and they had different friends' circles back in the day, so she wasn't familiar with the actual details. Only the fact that their age gap had been the subject around town a little while. And she could bet it had raised some false assumptions later on as he mentioned. "I bet it's weird when you practically helped raise her." Amara mused, trying to relate, but even though she'd helped raise her siblings, she'd hadly say it was the same since all of them were close in age. "But if you look it on the bright side — that sort of prepared you for becoming a parent, right?" She pulled up the cup to her lips, taking a sip only to realize her hot chocolate was turning cold. "You know, I never realized how much energy some toddlers have before I started working at Ballet Babies." Amara let out a soft chuckle. "I can only imagine what it was like for some parents given kids also get so much chocolate around Christmas." She could recall feeling exhausted by the end of the first week. "Hm, so she's almost the right age to begin. What I've been suggesting to a couple other parents, though, before they sign their kids up, was one-on-one classes. It's not a full class, to be honest. I like to make it look more like a little game. It helps the kid get familiar with the surroundings, see if they show interest in ballet at all. I know two is really young to be making your own choices, but it's even worse when parents try to force their own ambitions on their kids. And, trust me, there are kids who just don't like dance at all." She made a small pause to catch her breath, then added. "You can think about it, if you want, and give me a call when you both are ready to give it a try."

[hcnnapcrk]

“Again.” instructed Hanna as she had her student practice a specific skating move that she had just taught her. With a watchful eye, she proceeded to assess her movements and form to a tee and while she held no expression to indicate right or wrong, she simply repeated herself again as a way to help her practice until she got it right. After three tries, the ex-figure skater paused and showed it to her again, providing feedback on what could change. “Now, again.” 

Watching in silence, Hanna waited until they had finished and was just about to provide more tips when she heard a familiar voice appear behind her. Turning around, she noticed Amara and greeted her with a nod, “It is. I sometimes make my students stay back as I have some feedback to give them.” Turning back to her student, “One more and then you can head out.” She then watched the other skate before askign out loud, “Since when were you back on the ice?”

[amaraxhawthcrne]

Watching Hanna in her full on coach mode was like déjà vu of her own practice years and it sent a shiver down her spine. For a moment she even wondered if the other woman knew how much she resembled their coach or if it was simply a trait she had built-in within her — an extention of her competitive self from the past. Her gaze had shifted toward the young girl when the question was posed. "Since Christmas." She wasn't exactly sure how to answer it honestly, because she'd been on and off for a few years now. Always during the winter season and stirring away from the rink. Her eyes drifted back to the young girl and her smooth movements across the ice. "This year's extravaganza gave me confidence boost to step back into the rink." Amara confessed, glancing back at Hanna. "I taught I could practice a few jumps and spins but I'm far from aiming for perfection honestly."

[adriansinclair]

Adrian considered her question. He watched the water, the way it folded in on itself, steady and indifferent. She's perceptive, he thought. No point pretending otherwise. "Nothing bad happened," he said finally. He let out a breath, slower than before. "I think that's kind of the problem." A small, self aware tilt of his head followed. "When everything goes right, there's nowhere to hide behind fixing things. You're just left with yourself." The cold was biting now, but he welcomed it. It kept him present. "I'm good at momentum," Adrian added. "Big nights, constant noise, being needed, it all keeps the engine running. When it stops…" He shrugged, "there's a moment where you feel the quiet a little too clearly."

Her comment about winter made him glance back at her. "Yeah," he agreed. "Summer feels like it's performing, winter doesn't bother." Maple circled back again, dropping the stick at Amara's feet like it was a formal request, tail thumping. Adrian smiled despite himself. Dogs have it figured out. He looked at her again, softer now. "I didn't mean to sound heavier than I am," he said. The wind picked up slightly, tugging at their jackets. Adrian nodded toward the shoreline, casual but inviting. "Want to walk a bit? Before we both turn into ice sculptures."

[amaraxhawthcrne]

Though most of her days were less eventful nowadays, Amara could still relate as someone who used to thrive in momentum. Being the oldest meant she always had someone to look after, something to do and that later transpired to aiming higher and further, seeking the next thing she'll be good at or make her feel good. It was a dangerous state of mind she'd learnt. "It's seems we got a lot in common." Was all she said after a beat of silence, settling in the space between them after his words.

Picking up the stick again, Amara nodded at Adrian's suggestion and took the first step forward. She threw the stick and smiled as Maple followed it, unbothered by the fact she was no longer standing in one place and waiting for his return. "You don't sound heavier." She reassured. "I often feel like this after everything quiets after the holidays." And she felt it was similar for most people, too. "So how's the new year been treating you so far?"