I don’t know if anyone remembers me, but this my depression blog that ran when I was 16. I used to post about self harm and feeling lonely, and a lot of bad things about myself.
I’m 20 now, and moving away from this blog was very important to my recovery. Looking at all of this negativity was bad for me, and did not make it easier to get better. I broke my addiction to self harm when I was 17, and have only had minor relapses in the past 3 years.
I see 2 therapists every week. I leave my house at least 4 days a week to interact with other people. I have come to terms with my gender and sexuality, and go to an LGBT+ group twice a month.
It turns out that I have depression, anxiety, and complex post traumatic stress disorder. I am on a good mix of psych meds, and actively work toward getting better. There are days where I feel happy, and that’s something I hadn’t experienced in a long time.
I hope that my blog didn’t feed into your illness, and if it did I am sincerely regretful and sorry. I thought that I was doing something helpful, but I wasn’t. I hope that if you had a blog like this one, that you don’t anymore. It’s not helpful. I used to compare my self harm to what I saw on here, and would sometimes do worse things to myself because I felt like I wasn’t doing it right. I probably helped to romanticize self harm and depression, and I regret that deeply.
I don’t know if anyone will really notice this, but I’ve been thinking about the possibility that some people may not be sure if I was even alive anymore. I am, and I am doing well. I hope you’re all doing well, too. I don’t know how many of my followers are still active, but I just wanted to check in with those who are.
