Nobody's Darling

Black | Queer | 27 | A Mess | ME/CFS | Fae/They

[amberfae]

But be nobody’s darling; Be an outcast. Qualified to live Among your dead.

Alice Walker

[disabilityhealth]

I’m a chill person

I just wish my body could get that memo

[transjinako]

Classic issue between girls 

[wildwindsaredeath]

okay real serious talk from your internet big sister: i really need y’all to be prepared for conservatives to retake a lot of societal ground in the next few years. there are so many younger people, especially young queer people, who don’t remember the bush era, don’t remember the 2000’s, who only see society as it is now where left/liberal ideologies really dominate the general social fabric and are going to have a really rough time when conservatives start controlling a lot of the social dialogue. a lot of what we’ve been used to being able to avoid because the really blatant conservative messaging has mostly kept to itself might be about to become mainstream. their beliefs are going to start to show up the TV you watch, the advertising you see, the music you listen to. it’s going to feel like losing ground, losing time, being pushed out of spaces where you were welcomed and acknowledged.

this isn’t to scare you, honestly. we lived through it not so long ago and still pushed through and got here, we’ll do it again. it’s just to make you aware and let you know that if you do start seeing those kinds of messages or start seeing the representation that you love go away, it’s going to be okay. people haven’t suddenly regressed around you - the assholes just got louder. you’re still loved and welcomed and you can still find places to have a home, they just might be a little harder to find for a while. but people will always work to push things forward again, and even if we lose now we will get back one day ❤️

[theorangedead]

This is really important! Please call your reps to support if you can

New Bill Would Allow People with Disabilities to Earn & Save More Money

The bill raises SSI asset limits from $2,000 to $10,000 for individuals and from $3,000 to $20,000 for married couples.

[compostpile]

when it comes to consciousness raising you can spend time telling someone “crazy” is a slur or you can spend time explaining that what looks like “care” or “cure” or “mercy” to them is actually eugenics or abuse. one of these projects has to precede the other and i bet you can guess which one i would prioritize

[compostpile]

you’re either going to build a base of clueless liberals who learn by rote to nitpick their language for anything with the remotest connection to ability, or you’re going to help them develop the alertness and critical eye necessary to recognize eugenics and abuse. i don’t think those things are mutually compatible in an immediate timeframe, because one locates both the root and branch of oppression in a disembodied cloud of language and thought, and the other locates it in the real material structures that we need to confront immediately in order to save actual lives. not saying “crazy” isn’t going to get anyone out of forced institutionalization

[ackwardroots-deactivated2022090]

[general-george-washington]

For my fellow massholes

[freckledsweetpea]

your pal says something mean about a fat person in shorts this summer you SAY, "oh so they're supposed to get heat stroke because of your sensitive ass?" (fat people deserve to wear weather appropriate clothing)

you're getting ice cream with your friend and they make a comment about the fat person eating an ice cream cone you SAY, "oh then I guess you don't want ice cream, let's go." (fat people don't need to earn food even for enjoyment)

you're at the beach and a fat person is laying out and your dad says something rude about it you SAY, "I think they look comfortable. It's good they're getting some sun. I bet they work hard all year for this vacation." (fat people deserve to appear in public)

telling a someone you like their stretch marks does NOTHING for fatphobia and will NEVER make your friends and family think twice about their shitty learned hatred.

[amberfae]

Why does it feel like a sin to admit to someone that I'm anxious? Why do I feel so guilty? I'm always guilty. It's how I exist. I open my mouth and wish I hadn't spoken; the delete function on whatsapp has saved me at the peak of anxious regret many a time.

But why now? I look to my emotions for cues, knowing my emotions are often not meant to be trusted. But when they're right they're *right*. As true as the north star. So I wonder, am I right? Will this be the time I crossed a line? Will I be able to fix it?

Or am I laying here spiraling over something as simple as breathing in after breathing out for the person who will read my message? Am I over analyzing?

Mental illness sucks. I want to be a good partner, friend, and person so bad I walk on eggshells in fear of doing wrong. I'm genuinely afraid even when I'm talking to the person closest to me in the world.

I dont want to be afraid anymore, when I express myself. When I say how I feel. When I respond and it's not perfect, because I'm not perfect. I want to trust more. I want to be more helpful to myself and to my mindset.

No more do I want to feel guilty because I'm struggling and I reach out to grab a loved ones hand. I just want to feel their palm against mine and be content.

[amberfae]

I was diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) in Sept of 2021. It started after a year long battle with Mono, which I got in early 2019. I saw doctors and was told it was normal for me to still be down and out, even after more than half a year. But I never fully recovered, and I accepted my new fatigue as normal. I let myself be told it was my depression, my mental illness, even though I was skeptical. It felt... different. It wasn't until I was experiencing Post Exertional Malaise (PEM) more and more frequently that I started to worry. It was my therapist who helped me to advocate for myself, to fight against the stigmas that come with being mentally ill. It was a long time advocating and after many specialists and tests, I was diagnosed. I later learned the Epstein Barr Virus, which causes Mono, has long been connected to ME/CFS.

I wish I had known earlier, I wish I hadn't pushed so hard in school. I wish I could go back to college, that I could be working toward a degree. I wish I could still run up stairs, go on long walks, and dance around the house without paying for it later. I wish I was well enough to do those things at all, when it's bad. It's been bad for weeks now, my longest crash, and I'm scared. Scared I've officially gone from mild to moderate. Scared I won't go back.

Today, May 12, is World ME day. I hope posts like mine can bring awareness to this disease.

[kirinandvlindertje]

“transition poses some ethical questions. Such as, from what age should you be allowed to irreversibly change your body.“

This of course completely ignores the fact that puberty makes irreversible changes to your body. But let us just rephrase the question: “from what age do you gain bodily autonomy?” Now it gets very easy to answer: From the moment you’re fucking born.

[puppyprivilege-deactivated20151]

I’m sorry, I’m reblogging this twice in a row it is that important

[numinous-queer]

Stand up and say it again for the people in the back row. 

[drtanner]

This is all completely true and correct, of course, but on the topic of changes that irreversibly change a child’s body, prithee, go and talk to a fucking ballet dancer.

If you start ballet at 16, you are too old to ever expect to be able to do it seriously. If you start at 12 you’re too old. If you want to do ballet as a serious thing, as a career, you need to start at like eight years old or even younger, because your bones and joints need to be trained while they’re still flexible in order for you to be able to perform many of the required motions and stances of ballet. In particular, you need to be able to perform turnout of the hips, but all of your joints in your legs and feet will be affected, and this irreversibly changes your body.

And yet! Nobody talks about this as a negative thing! Little girls say they want to be ballet dancers, and if their parents have enough money, that’s what they get to be! Does it cause problems in later life? Yeah, sometimes! Often, even! But nobody talks about that because it’s a thing for cis people to do and so naturally it’s all fine!

Go and talk to a fucking ballet dancer.

[aurorawest]

follow me for more piping hot takes, like: 

Hey, Maybe If You Hate Something A Lot, You Should Just Not Engage With It

It’s Okay To Just Dislike Something, You Don’t Have To Make Your Loathing It Your Entire Identity

Fandom Should Be Fun But It Seems Like It’s Making You Miserable; Maybe You Should Step Away

or how about this banger:

Just Because I Think You’ve Gone Overboard With Your Frothing Hate Doesn’t Actually Mean I’m A Fan Of The Thing In Question

[transfaguette]

what queerbaiting is:

setting up, advertising, or alluding to queer relationships in media with no intention of actually depicting that relationship in order to capitalize off of queer viewers without scaring away general audiences.

what queerbaiting is not:

popular fandom ships not becoming canon

ambiguous or unconventional queer stories

real people experimenting with their gender or sexuality

and anything else that doesn't fit the definition above

[cfs-crohns-colitis-warrior]

Day one of ME/CFS Awareness Week!

Here’s some pictures from the M.E Association’s posts on IG.

I hope more and more people can start to understand the symptoms and struggles of ME/CFS. It’s more than just being tired. It affects everything. It makes daily life a struggle.

[amberfae]

I miss not being tired. I miss dancing around the kitchen. I miss running up the stairs. I miss going for long, slow walks. I miss riding my bike. I miss long showers. Hell, I miss being able to shower whenever I want. I miss being able to stand for hours as I bake or cook. I miss cleaning the apartment in one go. I miss cleaning at all. I miss being able to make it to doctors’ appointments. I miss going to school. I miss hula hooping and jumping rope and racing just to race. I miss not being tired. I miss not being tired. I miss not being tired.

I miss not being tired.