I&#x27;ll find strength in pain

Full Disclosure → Erik, Amelia & Kate

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Kate smiled at them, shrugging her shoulders. “I’ll try my best. Things will probably be rough for all of us. So let’s just try and get through this in one piece, and when we come out at the other side we can meet again. Or maybe we’ll get a chance to meet somewhere, who knows. Don’t worry about me,” she grinned trying to keep the mood light. “I’m tougher than I look. And I really appreciate it, if we have rounds together we can at least talk without raising suspicions. She’s really special. But I guess you two know what I’m talking about.”

Erik listened to the two girls talking, only jumping in at the end of the conversation for a moment. “Well, I have no doubt you’ll make it through in one piece,” he promised, knowing Kate was stronger than she gave herself credit. “And I’ll see what I can do about keeping us safe wherever we are too,” he said, a promise that was laid out for both girls, but mostly Amelia. The idea of not keeping her safe after the things he’d seen and experienced was almost too much to even fathom. At the comment about someone being special he just nodded, as if admitting it out loud would jinx it somehow but he knew exactly what she meant. Amelia had always been special to him.

#full disclosure #p:kate #p:erik #flashback

“If you ever need anything write to us. I’m sure the owls will still be able to find people in all of the mess.” She had a feeling that they would turn out okay in the end, or at least she would like to remain optimistic about it as best she could. If she stayed with Erik she knew they would keep each other safe, and wherever Kate decides to go Amelia was sure she’d be just fine. Amelia smiled when Kate mentioned the girl being special to her, understanding the feelings Kate was experiencing. She looked up at the other two, feeling that there wasn’t much left to discuss, “So uhm- if that’s all then I don’t want to bug you anymore about anything.”

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From the Inside || Erelia

The castle was quiet. The slithering of the creatures had stopped sometime a few hours before but the two lovers hadn’t moved from their sanctuary to check on things. The truth was, Erik wasn’t sure he ever wanted to leave the castle and find the others. Not now that he knew what had happened. He’d been so close to believing them, both Amelia and Kate, when it came to him not being a monster. But nobody but one would have mauled a young boy and relished the taste of his blood. He woke up with blood on his hands, literally and figuratively and he didn’t even know if the boy was alive. But he knew one thing, he shouldn’t be.

He also knew none of that mattered when Amelia was still with him. He had to get her to safety and then he had a destination. He was going home. He needed to see his parents and he needed to get to his sister, Grace. He wasn’t sure she was still alive or how she was doing but his priorities right now had to be his girls. It was going to be the only way he could keep going right now, putting someone else first. Thinking about what had happened was going to leave him depressed and he knew where that led. It led to thoughts that a normal boy shouldn’t have, like the one he’d had earlier in the year about jumping off of Ravenclaw tower.

It also meant drinking. Because he drank to get rid of everything that was wrong in his life. He drank to exist in a state where it didn’t matter. But he’d promised he was done with it and for now, he’d try to make that be the truth. He wasn’t sure how far that would get him when he was shaky as it was. The lack of alcohol was making him irritated and emotional and while he knew that’s what was driving him, he didn’t know how to talk about it or anything else. What he did know was there had been lots of noise a few minutes before and now there didn’t even seem to be students milling around the halls.

“We have to get out of here,” the boy said, finally, turning to look at his girlfriend. “We have to get out of here before I go insane.” He didn’t say more about that, just let it lay in the air and surround them, like the troubles of the last few days already did. “Kate was right about us getting separated, she’s right about the rest. We have to get out of here.” He put his hand out as if to take hers, figuring they could go to the tower and get what they needed before leaving. If it was really safe out there. They could head to muggle England in the country where he came from and he could forget for a moment.

Focus on Grace. Focus on Amelia. Focus on not focusing on the throbbing in his throat and chest. Forget he’d likely killed someone.

How was he supposed to do that?

Amelia wasn’t sure how to handle all of this. All she could do was watch Erik suffer with everything that had happened and as much as she wanted to tell him he wasn’t the monster he thought he was she knew it wasn’t worth it. Erik had done the one thing he feared would happen and Amelia was afraid that this would be more than he could handle. All she could do was be there next to him, try to show him that things would be okay, that just one mistake wasn’t going to ruin his life. As she watched him she began wondering if this would trigger a relapse moment Kate had warned her about.

From the Astronomy Tower to the Room of Requirement all Amelia felt all she could do was let him know that she was still with him. She held his hand, an arm around his shoulders, his entire self wrapped in her arms at times to hopefully bring him some comfort and let him know that he didn’t have to go through this alone. She almost felt that she understood, Erik wasn’t the only one who possibly killed someone, but she knew she fully would never feel the same pain he was experiencing since this wasn’t his decision.

Too many times she felt that her presence was vacant and meaningless and that she wasn’t entirely there with him. Her thoughts kept straying away from Erik and flew over to the Ministry with thoughts of her father. On more than one occasion Amelia felt she was going to be sick, almost having to excuse herself from him, and she tried her best to be strong but she couldn’t stop her chest from convulsing as her emotions tried to break out in sobs. Tears finally fell as the announcement of the deaths and survivors came through, feeling relief as he father’s name was not included in the message and she thanked Merlin that he was alive. She didn’t care where he father was now; all that mattered was that he was safe and unharmed.

Amelia look up at him as he spoke, glad to hear his voice after the long silence between them as they listened to the now empty castle. She nodded at his words agreeing that they should leave, especially if staying here was causing more pain for him. She took his hand as he offered it, letting him lead her out into the corridor. “Where should we go?” she asked quietly, still afraid that those creatures might still be lurking around the halls. She wasn’t quite sure if she should leave the decision of what they were to do entirely up to him, even though she knew he would check with her first, but maybe him having to focus on something else would help distract him from the things that had happened.

#from the inside #p:erik

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#ravenclaw #quidditch #house pride

Fly Like It's Quidditch by *echoing-artemis

Bigger Than Us || Erelia

All the wolf knew was that protecting its mate was the priority. The two weaved their way through hallways and he kept the girl at his side. She was a human and that made no sense to his instincts to protect her but there was something else to her. Something he should know but didn’t, not in the brain fueled by nothing human left of the boy. The scent of her set his body aflame. There was no mistaking the scent of a mate and the wolf found himself driven by instinct in knowing it. The only thing more important than his own skin was hers and he’d have fought to the death anyone who came for her. Just like she’d fought for him.

Once the two of them were in the astronomy tower, the wolf took to pacing around the room. Everything was wrong and while he wanted to get out of the school entirely, away from the creatures whose smell was making his brain cloud over with disgust, he couldn’t. Not with the girl at his side there. So he stood his ground and although he couldn’t communicate his thoughts to her he took to brushing against her with his fur as he could, in between his laps of the tower. Eventually things slowed down, although the screams from outside never completely let up. The wolf who should have been a boy found a place next to the woman who was his mate and they made it through the night together.

The touch of sunlight through the tower hit Erik as he lay next to Amelia, getting through this the best he could. The wolf in him was still awake and he felt the stroke of a hand in his fur, the stroke of electricity that made him know she was who she was. Slowly Erik started to make sense of things and as the light became more obvious in the skin his transformation started. When it was said and done he was left naked with blood smeared about his face and torso, looking at Amelia as if to ask what had just happened. And he was afraid to speak.

“Ames,” he said back, finally, unable to hold it in even though he knew something was very wrong. “Full moon,” he stated, the obvious coming off his lips. He could remember the way he’d felt last night but he wasn’t going to talk about that yet. “Are you okay?” he said, moving slightly to attempt to cover his naked body, something that wasn’t of much use. “What did – what happened?” he asked, pulling himself into a sitting position. His disorder was kicking in and he couldn’t keep his thoughts focused. He wasn’t sure he wanted to. “What did I do?” he asked, looking down at hands still tinged with blood of a innocent boy.

The wolf pacing around the room brought some comfort to her, knowing how devoted it was to protecting her and keeping them safe. Although she still didn’t quite understand how all of this between them was happening, Amelia wasn’t about to question the actions of a werewolf. The brush of his fur against her as he passed was calming but eventually started to make her feel anxious and she was glad when he finally settled next to her for the rest of the night.

As Amelia looking into his eyes they were the first thing she noticed to change and not wanting to see the full transformation she quickly turned away from him for a moment, looking back to see Erik in front of her. She looked at the blood smeared around his mouth and quickly tried to wipe off with her sleeve as she watched him come to make sense of everything. As she pulled her hand away she caught glimpse of the rest of the blood covering his body as he shifted around, finally realizing that he was in fact naked. “Uhm-uh,” she stumbled as her gaze drifted lower, quickly stopping herself as she closed her eyes, “You’re naked.” She shrugged her robe off of her shoulders as he was attempting to cover himself, quickly handing it over to him as she ducked her head, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks. They’d have to leave and find him clothes eventually.

Amelia didn’t quite know how to break it to Erik. Obviously he had some idea of what happened, the blood covering him made it somewhat obvious. “I’m fine,” she stated plainly, not wanting him to worry about her. Technically she was fine, on the outside at least, no cuts or scrapes but internally her body was in a panic. All of this had just happened and in the midst of everything the announcement that her father could possibly be dead had her screaming internally. But she didn’t let that show, what was happening to Erik now was far worse and she needed to be there for him.

“You uhm… changed,” she started, “then you attacked Ryan… Margot.” Amelia’s voice shook as she spoke, waiting for one of her words to cause Erik to fall apart once he knew what happened. There was no way for her to sugarcoat any of this. “I’m thinking he’s still alive,” she said quickly, “Randall started going after you to get you off of Ryan and then I- I went after Randall, to protect you.” She shuddered a bit as the image of Randall came to her, the look on his face as the blood took over. She reached out and held Erik's hand, both preparing herself for his reaction and letting him know that she was there for him. It was her turn to be his rock.

#bigger than us #p:erik

By Definition || Erelia

Erik was ready to get out of the girl’s dorms, if only because the things they’d been told were too much and too quick. He couldn’t imagine that Amelia felt any different and upon leaving he stopped, taking her hands in his own and turning to look at her. “You okay?” he asked, although he knew she couldn’t be. He wasn’t and it wasn’t even his destiny that had been given from someone else’s lips. “I mean – is there anything I can do?” He felt awkward and stumbled over the words he was saying, he wasn’t in the habit of giving comfort to others but right now, he wanted to. There was more to what he wanted and he had seen in Amelia that maybe he wasn’t alone in that, but for now just knowing she was going to make it through the evening with all that had been told to her – that was going to have to be enough. He leaned in, pulling her closer, her head finding the crook of his neck as he just existed in a space in the hallway that led to the boy’s dorms on one side and common room on the other.

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Amelia was glad to get out of Kate’s room, not wanting to bug the girl anymore about the things to come, but at the same time she wished the distraction was still there. She knew she should probably be more scared about the visions Kate had had about the future of everyone, the separation and all, but knowing that soon she wouldn’t be welcome in her own home was more terrifying than anything. She would be alone then, have nowhere to go, and she wasn’t close enough to any relatives to ask for help and know for sure that they would help at all. Erik’s question pulled her out of her thoughts, not quite catching what he said, “What?” She looked up at him as he asked again. “Don’t leave me,” she answered quickly, “like right now I just- I don’t want to be alone.” She let him pull her close as she wrapped her arms around him in return. Amelia held him tight, trying to grab hold of some stability in her life. Her world at home was soon to change and as was Hogwarts according to Kate and Amelia felt that she needed something she could hold onto, something that could remain as close to normal as possible in all of this and in that moment that thing was Erik. “I don’t care where we go I just want to be with you,” she whispered into his neck.

#by definition #p:erik

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Full Disclosure → Erik, Amelia & Kate

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Kate raised her eyebrows when Erik and Amelia started to blush and mumble but then grinned at them. “You gotta be kidding … Well never mind what you call it, just stick together. I will try to … send you a message or let you know somehow. I mean … I might know where you’re going to be, so look for the unexpected.” She nodded at Amelia and put the ring onto her desk, she would need to collect the items she wanted to take later. She grinned when Erik’s tone became teasing and Amelia looked at her questioningly. “Yeah well, the thing is … nobody can know. Her family is very not okay with her liking girls. Like disown and ship her off to somewhere not okay. So changing shifts around so you can do rounds with Erik is perfect. So please, can we keep this between us. Too.”

Erik just grinned at the comment about the two of them, and then let out a short nod. “Sticking together we can do,” he promised, a little more relaxed as the conversation switched tones. The rest of this would need more conversation and thought but right now, it was too much to keep his head in. “We’ll watch for it, just stay safe.” Erik’s voice became more happy, less stressed, as they talked about swapping prefect duties. “Right, well, I think we can manage that. I’ve been looking for an excuse to do all my rounds with Amelia anyway,” he admitted to the two of them. “And I won’t speak a word about it. You know me.” He shrugged, feeling a bit better about everything, at least for a moment.

#full disclosure #p:kate #p:erik

Amelia looked away at Kate’s comment on her and Erik as blushed filled her cheeks, noticing his own grin. Amelia was always too shy to bring up the topic of them being an actual couple but maybe after Kate’s comment this conversation would happen on its own. She nodded along with Erik’s promise and started to feel a bit better about whatever was to come. If she and Erik were really to stick together through it all then maybe things wouldn’t be so bad, at least for them. The thought of staying with him through all of this helped take her mind off the letter and everything else and she started to feel a bit more at ease. She smiled at Erik as he admitted to wanting to do his rounds with her; she had felt the same way too so taking this opportunity wasn’t a problem for her. “Same here, you’re secret is safe with me – both of them,” she added quickly, referring back to Kate’s secret that started this whole meeting.

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Learning to Breathe || Erelia

Erik didn’t have an answer to the question about the High Inquisitor. He didn’t understand what the point of her being there really was, other than to torture students. In a way he was glad it had been him last night and not someone younger or less strong. Torture he could handle, threats he could live with, but none of it made much sense. He didn’t really want it to, though. He wanted it all to be a dream that he would wake up from when he let himself fall back asleep. So rather than answering, he just shrugged and hoped they could let it go for now. Obviously, it was going to be something to come back and haunt him but for now, he wanted his peace.

“Not a monster,” he agreed, a smirk coming to his lips at her presence. Only she would pull him out of the horrors of the night before and leave him capable of smiling, “Just a big bad wolf.” He shot her a wink, nodding at her comment about taking the bottles. “I just wanted you to be aware. It’s not going to be easy. Maybe not ever. And maybe you deserve easy or less drama but I can’t promise that.” He ran his hand through his hair as he looked away. He wanted to say something else but not now. His brain was slowing down from the potion she’d slipped in his mouth and anything that came out would seem too much too soon. So he’d hold it in his heart and head and wait. “But I can promise you I’m not going anywhere. I’ve waited too long for this – for us.”

At her question about him sleeping alone or not, he was immediately answering, as if the question need not have even been answered. “Please stay,” he said, making a bit more room on the bed for her to curl up next to him. “If you don’t want to sleep you can leave after I pass out again. I just want you here,” he said, offering his arm for her to rest on, “I just want to hold you and fall asleep. Like I’ve thought about doing a million times.” He knew he was talking too much, the drugs were making him loopy and he didn’t care. Nothing mattered except what was happening right now.

When the girl was tucked in next to him he leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a manner that still brought butterflies to his stomach. His fingers found hers, entwining in an intimate gesture that was made only more so by the closeness of their bodies. “It was always you,” he muttered, his eyes fluttering shut as they shared a pillow on his bed. “Nobody else mattered, not like this. It was always supposed to be you.”