American Turkist

[americanturkist]

HELL NO I WON’T GO

Disclaimer - Pity Party with a happy ending.

I have been freaking out for 2 weeks in Istanbul, Turkey. I have been teaching English here for 2 years and I started my 3rd contract this September.

I can spare you the complex political details of my why job was in danger and can just say there was a small chance I was going to be deported, never again allowed to visit Turkey, let alone teach.

I was throwing a tantrum the last 2 weeks. I had even convinced myself I didn't want to live here anymore and that I was ready to move to another country and start over. I tend to end relationships that seem to be ending soon anyway, it's always been a bad habit.

My North Wind had other plans.Today I was given the good news. I am legal to keep my job, work permit, residence and I even have a code to give any inspectors should I get stopped at any borders or at the airports.

My friend Helen also happened to message me with details about a girls trip to Sofia, Bulgaria for the weekend. So, in just a few hours I will go to the bus station, cross my fingers that the border crossing goes alright and remind myself why the heck I am teaching abroad to begin with - TO TRAVEL!

"Buy the ticket, take the ride." - Hunter S. Thompson.

[americanturkist]

4.5 hours to design and decorate another teacher's board due tomorrow. 1 hour bus ride home in drizzly traffic. 15 minute walk home to find hot tea, medicine and dinner provided by my roommate and her mother. Being able to give and accept loving support - TIMELESS.

PS - Scissors* will be corrected in the A.M.!

[americanturkist]

Jerk Alert

After waking up at 4 a.m. with a dry sore throat, I was ready to blame even the rain on Hande’s mom and all the cigarette smoke. 

By the time I got to on the bus and heard sniffles and low coughs, I began to blame the right girl - myself. 

It’s me who takes gross public transit - not her. 

It was me who dressed myself irresponsibly for cold rain yesterday - not her. 

It is me who works with icky germy kids all day - not her. 

And by the time I got to school, I was sending her warm apology energy that I’d been so quick to blame. Sure, the smoke isn’t helping, but it’s not a germ, and what I got - it’s a germ!

Low and behold, everyone on campus was complaining of a dry sore throat today. To add insult to injury, the teacher I complained about yesterday being inflexible about the change in lesson times was the only one who offered my a lozenge when she saw me struggling. 

Goes to show me, once again, compassion goes SO far and judgement only takes me to my next realization of Ego. 

[americanturkist]

Yağmur Yağdığında . . .

“When it rains, it pours,” English Proverb.

This far, so good, is how I could describe the start of my 2nd year teaching in Istanbul, Turkey. 

Compared to last year: my commute is easy, my school is a dream, my roommate is perfect,  and my Turkish is .. well  - let’s just say better!

Before now, I would ride the bus about 40 minutes right to my school’s back gate. I had to walk about 100 meters through mud to get to the doors. I would then take my boots cursing as I banged them together, utterly annoyed that we didn’t have a proper back entrance ... 

I should have appreciated the minute through the mud.

Now that all the school’s are back and the rains are heavier, the traffic has been ridiculous. Today, after the 1 hour bus ride right to my school’s back gate and after the 100 meter walk through the mud I surely would have cursed again given the change, I was greeted with a fence. That’s right. It seems the Gods (and the school) agreed with me, that this was no proper back entrance to the school - so they closed it!

Now I have a 20 minute walk around to the main (and proper .. and only) entrance to the school. The whole way there and back after school finished, I thanked the Gods, “at least it it’s not pouring,” I thought, hustling a bit thinking I may be giving them a good idea. 

While we’re discussing school, I’d like to take a moment to say WTF. The first week of orientation was smooth like silk, and the first real week of school went just as easily. So why-oh-why are the problems starting now? 

I teach 6 classes a day back-to-back. Two sets of 4-yr-olds and 1 set of 5-yr-olds. My 1st lesson was getting truncated because they don’t get back from breakfast when they should at 9:40, they come at 10 a.m. and it wasn’t really fair for my eldest class to get the short class. So, I decided to take the crazy misfit class I normally have as my last lesson of the day (when it’s too late to get anything into their sugar raging heads) and give them the short morning lesson instead. Was easiest for the change anyway, only switching those to classes - or so I thought. 

I got the program change approved and corrected by my Vice Principal, who agreed with my practicality. But every time I went to the new lesson times I was catching flack and push-back from the Turkish teachers, “sonra, sonra - yeni program istemiyorum,” (later, later - I don’t want the new program). Hmmm, so I enjoyed my free time today instead of fighting with them. I figured if they wanted to explain to the parents why they weren’t letting me teach English at the times I and the VP feel best suit them, that was their business. 

After I missed the 2nd lesson, wouldn’t ya know it, a fresh new color print of the change I made - hot off the press for ALL the teachers who have me as an English partner.

And what’s up with no scheduled breaks? At least at my last school AKA Hell, we had classes a bit more spread out. If I want to drink tea, get teaching materials or pee, I have to wait 3 hours until lunch or 2 hours before I leave for the day. Now, if you know me at all - you know my bladder IS NOT a “Teacher’s Bladder,” and it’s getting harder and harder to cross those legs considering I have no desk ... or chair while I’m teaching. 

Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be missing my old school and schedule. 

Last rainy day vent, and then I promise the silver lining. 

My roommate, Hande (Hun-day) is amazing. She’s clean, the home is clean and we communicate honestly and seldom. Truly a refreshing change from the smoke, grunge and chattiness of my last apartments. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a talker! But when there is a language barrier everyone gets tired. Let’s not forget the Rude Russian either, or that I moved 4 times last year. So yes, she is a wonderful change ... 

Her mother; however, is not. Smoking in the kitchen apparently doesn’t count as “the house,” to Turks. I love that she’s cooking and there is always fresh brewed tea but I haven’t seen to my own diet needs since she got here. She’s only here a week, and I’m sure my asthma can deal - or it would have have I not forgotten my inhaler at Stephen’s.

Here’s the silver lining: “After the Rain, Earth Hardens,” Japanese Proverb.

I am wiser, faster, stronger .. and tomorrow I’ll have my umbrella! 

[americanturkist]

1 Down 276 To Go

School days have begun. Well mine have anyway, the kids won’t come back until September 28. Which means, 2 more blissful weeks without the stomping of little feet. 

This year is already looking more promising than last. For starters, I adore my new flat in Moda (Fashion). Close to the seafront and a hub for public transport including various modes such as: Bus, Metro, Ferry and Trolly. That’s right, I have a sweet little trolly that scoots it’s single yellow cart in the square around my neighborhood. 

Another bonus, my school is reachable by 2 methods which were both explained, written down AND shown to me before noon today. Alright you caught me - I only went in for a half day. Hey, still counts! Summer is over, and if you promise not anyone, I’ll admit I’m glad. Sure as heck beats last year’s first day. I was dropped off at 9 am, thrown into a classroom with crying kids and missed my service bus home because of a mandatory meeting at 8 pm. Those kids left at 3! When never did have that meeting, and if it wasn’t for another English teacher who also lived in Avcilar, my first day at work surely would have become my first school slumber party. 

Now I’m sure you’re wondering, “Why is knowing how to get to/from work a bonus?” Well - You’ve obviously never lived in Istanbul. It took me 4 months to learn where the public bus stop near my old school was, and that was AFTER learning as much Turkish as a girl could learn in 4 short months just to find out. Who knows if I’ll ever truly forgive Ayfer, a beloved (now) Turkish/English teacher, whom by happenstance LIVES 5 minutes from my old school and did in fact know where the stop was. 

Third big win: I’m told that English and Turkish meetings are always separated. No more trying to decipher the tonal nuances of blithering Turks who are just as likely to discuss quantum physics than they are important school specifics. I’ll have my first meeting with the other English teachers. We shall see. 

Lastly, the food. Last year I gained 25 lb. While I can come clean about my love affair with morning pastries and afternoon baklava, there was more than sugar in my fare. The parents had opted for powdered proteins in the school food. Even the cold salad bar had this sprinkled throughout. This school is not conducting such experiments on their children/staff and I for one am thrilled to hear it. 

I know I said I was happy summer is over, but you have to understand. The Ministry of Education pushed the start date back, and I don’t get paid until I work. Plus, it means more time in AC and less time spending last year’s earnings. Six vacations in 1 summer can tap a girl out. 

Bring on the meetings, bring on the classes, bring on the lira and let’s get Autumn started already!

[americanturkist]

Long Lost English

A side effect no one tells you about before you teach aboard is that all the grammar, play-on-words, style writing, spelling and general English you’ve improved upon your whole life - goes right out the window. 

It’s true. 

I was once able to elaborate, story-tell with the best of them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I was comparable to Dickens before moving to Turkey. Quite the opposite. I was a novice ... but was hoping to become a literary genius once given the right working conditions. Conditions I’ve yet to encounter, mind you. 

I have no secrets or tips for those in my predicament, yet. ln fact, this blog is more of a plea for help. Will I rediscover my talent and passion for writing? Or has my long lost English doomed me forever? 

For now, I’m testing the age-old theory: If I write it, it will come. 

[americanturkist]

Almost Last Goodbyes

With only 2 days left of school in Turkey, some of the students have stopped showing up. One girl, Ayse Sare, was absent yesterday but turned up about half way through the day today. I didn't even realize I'd miss her so much. I scooped her up and kissed her cheeks. It occurred to me to start giving better goodbyes this week, as they could be my last. It got me thinking about the teachers around here as well. I've been so busy planning my escape, I neglected to see the attachments I've made here. These goodbyes are going to be tougher than I thought.

[americanturkist]

Hammam, Tamam

Last weekend I went for my first Turkish Bath, otherwise known as Hammam. A birthday gift from my family back in Texas; I’d been looking forward to this for months.

I did; however, have reservations about going. The thought of a stranger scrubbing and hosing me down outside of a tub wasn’t even part of my concern. 

I’ve been struggling with body image lately. As of today, I’ve gained approximately 25 lbs since moving to Turkey 8 and a half months ago. I have read so many articles about how normal it is to put on weight when moving abroad. Topics have varied from the different delicious foods to try for the first time, the foods and habits we no longer have easy access to as expats, the alternative approaches to deal with the weight gain such as home workouts, skyping with an old workout buddy - even hypnotism. 

Eventually, I decided it might just be the best thing I could do for myself right now. So, I set off to enjoy a spa challenge. 

Low and behold, it was exactly what I needed. The women there see all sizes, shapes, races and don’t mind one little bit how they differ from the next. They wash without bias or judgement, and the only concern they have is whether or not you would like more water to drink. 

I looked around that room, filled with raw female form in every direction and finally felt safe in my body again for the beautiful vessel it is. 

They first asked me to go upstairs and put on one of their towels and sandal sets. The soft bamboo cotton was a welcomed change from the thickness I wrap up in after a shower at home. 

After walking into the steamy marbled room, they guided me to a fountain and took off my garb. The first splash was warm-ish followed by extreme cold. It definitely woke me up and just as I thought we were beginning, another woman came and took me by the hand to lead me to a hot marble slab where other women were awaiting their hammam treatment as well.

Again, my eyes wandered as now I was in the middle of the room, feeling even more exposed. As I glanced around, all I saw was peace. The steam seemed to raise smiles along with the air in the room. Space where I typically see crinkled eyebrows, now only showed everyone’s 3rd eye. I could see each and every soul in that room. 

About 10 minutes and 2 glasses of ice water later, I was guided to my next fountain where I’d take my bath.

As before, first warm-ish, then cold, but this time hot followed. I melted into the marble stairs and could feel every muscle relax into the water. Next, she took what looked to be a pillow case and swished it around in soap smelling of orange blossom and vanilla. She filled it with air, then twirled it to tighten the base and stretched her fingers from the top to the bottom squeezing every bubble she could out of the cloth. This was repeated until I sat chin high in a cloud of bubbles made just for me. 

Next up, after a hose down, I was asked to stand up and face the wall while she used an exfoliating mitten to take off all the dead skin. Of which, by the way, there was WAY more than I could have imagined. I wondered how many other men and women had stood exactly where I stood in the 600 years this hammam has been open.

Another go round with the bubbles followed, so I could soak as she applied shampoo and conditioner. I will never forget the soft nutty scent that followed me thereafter. 

A final hose down and I was finished. I was moved to a sitting area where I was draped in more bamboo towels and offered more ice water. Once able to stand properly, I went into the common area and sat on the most comfortable benches I might ever experience. Large white and orange pillows took the place of cushions. 

Ten minutes later and I was escorted to my next treatment, the full-body massage my family sprung for aside from the hammam. 

The room was bright and smelled of jasmine. I laid face down and contemplated how I could have possibly avoided this bliss as long as I had. The masseuse was impeccable, never once losing touch with my skin through all 4 limbs and 20 digits.

As all good things, this too had come to an end. 

I slowly went upstairs to change into my own clothes. The full-length mirror in my wooden locker smiled back at me, accepting me exactly as I am. A face I hadn’t seen for months was right in front of me like an old friend back from vacation. 

I will be going to the hammam more often in my future, without a doubt. 

[americanturkist]

The view from dinner at the Büyükçekmece bridge.

[americanturkist]

My lovely co-workers (Left to Right): Carla, British; Nashwa, Syrian; Helen, American; Ayfer, British/Turkish; Zarah, Moroccan .. and ME. Would not make it though my days without these smiles and understanding head nods.

[americanturkist]

Friend or Foreigner

I’ve not made the bucket full of friends I typically make when traveling in a new city during my time in Istanbul. Sure, colleagues at best seen by chance or at work, regardless of any social invitation I have tried to extend. 

In fact, when I first arrived the people at my agency and school were the only ones guiding me through my new expat life. I have tried inviting dinner guests, and had gotten my hopes up only for a same-day cancellation. This happened so many times, I stopped cooking until someone I’d invited actually arrived. I began even having them come to the grocery store with me if they had cancelled more than once before. 

I have gotten the feeling, from more than one “friend” that I was only contacted when they needed me. Someone to ride the metro-bus with while they wore headphones instead of chatted anyway. Someone for them to split the 20TL lunch with because we are all on a budget. Or, worst of all, someone to unload their depression onto because let’s face it - this place is not always easy and Turks are not always “nice.” I eventually stopped inviting and accepting invitations. The cancellation game isn’t my style, I’d rather just be honest. 

Once I stopped, I noticed them. The few with smiles for free, and tea to share. Two lovely Turkish ladies in University both took me in, laughed with me, taught me phrases and helped me practice my Turkish. I will forever love these two for the grace and friendship they’ve extended to me. 

And “Him.”

One fellow teacher and expat that has been here for me to translate at the foot doctors, to show me where to top-up my metro kart, to point out where to eat and steer clear, to teach me how to cook/prepare Turkish cuisine and best of all to cuddle with on snowy days or on our vacations. He has become my best friend in so many ways. 

I’m grateful to those who disappointed me for all the months that came before the clarity. Without them, I wouldn’t know the difference between a friend or fellow foreigner. 

[americanturkist]

Ağacı kurt, insanı dert yer." It is worms which destroy a tree, it is worry which destroys a human.

Turkish Proverb

[americanturkist]

I’ve been trying to immerse my kids in classic culture. They caught on quick actually and raise their hands to speak, say please/thank you/excuse me/I’m sorry without prompting now. During the week of any holiday I’ll play the corresponding Charlie Brown episode. They take pieces I wouldn’t have even thought to teach like when they repeat “maybe next time Charlie Brown” and pat each other on the back when someone fails. I play Beethoven and Bach, played Korsakov’s Flight of the Bumblebee when we were learning the letter B and fast vs slow. The Planets by Gustov Holst when they were learning about our solar system. I play them Beatles and Elvis too, and I gotta say, catching one of them singing along to Let It Be while rocking a baby during playtime just brought tears to my eyes. Sorta love teaching ..

[americanturkist]

Patience Penalty

Patience has never come easily to me. Try as I might, allowing time to pass and moods to shift proves difficult each and every time I need patience the most. This time is no different. 

I've grown increasingly disenchanted with my position in Istanbul. I love my Tiny Turks, it's the big ones that make life here so challenging. Yani [In example],I was told I wasn't patient enough after waiting 2 months to hear back about my request for Christmas vacation. 

It is right when I'm ready to scream, "I QUIT," that they come through with either even MORE ridiculous melodrama to endure or decide to finally settle my grievance. The latest hurdle, my weekends, my Vice Principal apparently wants them ALL. 

Now, I don't mind the occasional Saturday, but .. I was relieved of my duties from a job in America because after 4 years I started complaining that I wanted my weekends off so I could travel more. If I wanted to work nights/weekends, I'd still be in America working a different dead-end job - not moved around the world only to NOT be able to travel on my weekends here. 

Frustrating as it is, every Turk I know is calm and says things like, "So .. don't go." Or, "Why not just not do what they ask." It's greatly confusing to me that they seem this content with not doing "their job" and I've realized my greatest fault is thinking I actually have to be patient.

Waiting for someone else to grant me empowerment because they are the ones cutting the checks is exactly the type of nonsense I fled from in America. I won't be tormented with passing comments about going in at 8 am on Saturdays anymore. When I hear them organizing the service buses, I'll simply say, "Oh, I won't be needing the service this weekend." When I don't show up, ball's back in their court, right? They are empowered to fire me, or ignore me as I am able to ignore them or quit. 

Either way, I can be as patient as I need to be with myself to learn this valuable lesson: No One Can Take My Sense of Peace Away but Me. 

[americanturkist]

Portfolio Pros

I (and my Tiny Turks) totally nailed today's portfolio presentation. Really proud of them, and myself for starting their English education out so positively.

I start each lesson getting them out of their seats (after making them arrange themselves in boy/girl order, stretching a bit (fully planning on giving them a yoga lesson next semester), and playing a short round of "Miss Maggie Says," usually including body parts and also finding shapes/colors in the classroom. They could have done their presentation in their sleep they've been so conditioned on this material.

Right before I begin teaching I say, "Today, English easy. Nothing difficult in English today." And .. then proceed to teach advanced English to 4-yr-olds like when we celebrated their Republic Day and I explained "Independent Turkey" by holding each kid while saying, "Eva is dependent on miss Maggie," then placing them down and saying, "Now Eva is Independent." The same day Rohan, the youngest of the class, asked to go to the toilet and I asked if he needed Miss Maggie to help to which he replied, "No Miss Maggie, Rohan is Independent."

I truly believe my attitude has helped create a warm learning environment for them, and hope they continue to feel any new English will be easy English.

[americanturkist]

Su Yok Su Var

About a month ago, I made the move from Beylikduzu back to Avcilar where I began my adventure in Istanbul. 

After a few days of unpacking, I started to settle into my new space. The first item on my agenda, clothing storage of some kind. The second, shampoo, conditioner and the hottest shower I could stand. The third, hit the bazaar and fill up this fridge!

I found a cloth wardrobe and with simple assembly of some metal pipes and plastic pieces, item #1 was crossed off my list. Finally, with the Keratin products in-hand I was another step closer to revitalizing my curls and crossing off #2. Gizem, my new roommate, was on her way to the market. You guessed it, #3 was in the works!

When we got home, I quickly put away the fruits and veggies. I affectionately folded my scarf and gloves, laying them on my tidy (and slightly leaning) wardrobe. With a smile, I changed into my robe - shower time! 

"Maggie," Gizem called from the living room. "There is no water at this hour." My eyes opened wide, "Ne?" I asked, "What?" "Didn't you know this? We're having problems in the building this week and sometimes water is coming - sometimes it's not here. For hours sometimes, no water. Sometimes, for 15 minutes, we have." 

Checking for myself, I opened the pipes. The cold clanking of Gizem's truth. A few drops fall into my hand, an apology. "Tamam." I said, "Okay." At this point, I'd gotten accustomed to being delayed, distracted, disappointed and down right damned in Istanbul. "What's one more snag?" I think while I redress.

In the weeks that followed, my roommates and I took turns showering during the 15 minute periods water was available. We learned the cues and soon anticipated the toilet tank filling to let us know water was on the way at approximately 7 a.m. every morning. In the middle of the night, we'd sometimes awake to the kitchen or WC faucet running after being left open from when one of us tested the water and it failed us.

"Su VAR!" I'd shout with a smile, "We have water!" "Su YOK!" I'd shout with a pout, "Water don't have water!" It became part of our greetings in the house, "Merhaba, nesilsin, su var?" "Hello, how are you? Do we have water?" 

Eventually, we were given exact hours in which the water would be promised. We got this time table exactly 36 hours before the 3-week-long dilemma was resolved.

So typically Turkish. 

[americanturkist]

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