I've watched a lot of "realists" over the last couple of years make claims about why L/N have mirrored each other so similarly and say things like, "they don't owe us anything," and, "they want privacy." While I can, in theory, agree with some of the above, I tend to think most are missing the mark on why L/N have been moving the way they do. And I think that just because some shippers right now are the "favored children," (at least in their own minds), that doesn't mean that it won't change in the future (and frankly, hasn't begun to change already).
Part of what fascinates me about all of this is the idea that two grown adults in separate relationships would have any need to coordinate and mirror in the way that these two have. Typically, if it were true, they'd be meeting people who weren't so similar, following completely different timelines. Meeting two little-known 20-somethings and then backdating their social medias to reflect being with these people an incredibly similar length of time, followed by identical pap shots (by the same guy no less), then mirroring things with how they roll them out at events and how things go on sm is too many coincidences for adults in two separate relationships, imo. Even if they were in relationships with these folks, each one would move naturally at its own pace.
I actually respect celebrities who want privacy in their relationships. I used to, years ago, think it was a form of gatekeeping, but I actually see the wisdom in it at this point, especially after all I've witnessed the last couple years. However, that's far from what's happened here. Regardless of where you sit on this issue and the issues of these other indiividuals, privacy is not something either of these folks have even attempted to achieve. True privacy in a celebrity relationship is not carting these people around to events, doing red carpet photos, promoting their projects and family members' businesses. True privacy is not these alleged relationships always trying to imply (or outright post) proximity to the famous person in question.
The thing that continues to be so odd to me is the idea that these folks would be in 2+ year relationships and anyone would need to imply atp. At a certain point, if you're in a relationship, that becomes a fact and a backdrop and not the main source of your social engagement. Most of JD's stan pages are about his relationship. They do, of course, post when he has projects, but most of what they gush over, make edits over, and speculate over is his alleged relationship. He knows what gets people to tune in. The amount of times I've seen a Jakola go to one of his plays and write a review akin to, "The play was good. Jake was good. He looked hot." There is no stanning there. It would be like my going to see The Devil Wears Prada 2 this past weekend and making it about how hot everyone looked. Yes, btw, they all looked hot (shout-out to Simone on this one who looks fire at all times), but what was really jaw-dropping was the script, the dynamic between the characters, the incredible fashion and locations, the cameos, etc.
A, for her part, posts mostly vanity shoots ( I call them this because they exist to build her portfolio and aren't derived from actual paid work), the occasional dance video and mostly exists to post about her "relationship" with L. Why? Because she knows that when she shares her gift for twerking with the world or graces us with yet another HB-inspired photo shoot, wardrobe malfunctions included, that nobody pays any attention. These posts get minimal engagement, mostly by friends, family, and a few sycophants, but the reality is it seems more and more likely girl is running her own fan page. She hasn't even been able to get people on a large scale to ship her "relationship" the way they do with N and JD, because unlike them, she and L aren't convincing when around each other that they actually like each other or really get along on any level.
Now back to the arguments that they want privacy and don't owe us anything. If either of them functioned like others from the cast, for example Hannah, or JB, or even Simone to a large extent, I'd agree with these points. I might not have in the past, but if nothing else, watching what I have for the last couple of years has convinced me that there is a certain amount of mess that benefits no one. However, a need for privacy isn't what's happening here. L and N do not want to be private. If they did, L wouldn't take a person around with him who dedicates her entire sm presence to proving proximity to him. She's not proving that he likes her, that he wants to be around her, that he's a simp for her. She's proving that she's breathing the same air as him (and seemingly having to scan crowd footage nearly 2 years later to do so!). Think about how truly odd it would be to be spending time doing that nearly two years into a public relationship, when one could simply post ones own photos? Unless, of course, they don't want that much evidence on their own page (ie don't want the adjacents to oversaturate the media with images of them for when/ if it goes south). But even then, the idea that a serious nearly 2 year relationship would require posting security footage that shows you are with but not near the other person is wild to me.
And JD for his part loves to post stuff that is very similar- posting with or near N so he can get attention. I'm not sure for him that it's about engagement and clicks the way it is for A. But he definitely enjoys the attention that comes with it, and the name-dropping he can likely employ. And I assume he enjoys the currency that being associated with N provides when it comes to work.
"But Bridgey, they don't owe us anything."
You're right, they don't. However, both N and L know that they have gotten the most traction with getting their name out there in the tabloid media through these alleged "relationships." N knows that a good number of her stan pages simply exist because of her alleged relationship with JD. There are tumblr blogs and stan pages that existed prior to him, sure, but a lot of them seem dedicated to simply celebrating her relationship and personal life and not much to her actual work. L hasn't enjoyed the same benefits, partially due to sexism/ internalized misogyny and partially because he didn't benefit from the narrative of being the wounded party and having a SO who allegedly rescued him from it all. It also doesn't help that the person he's connected to just doesn't have much personality or likability. I can't recall a single post in the last nearly 2 years that has shown us anything about A's likes or interests beyond the gym, the beach, dance, or proximity to L.
Lately, N has had a lot of projects drop to promote. She's been getting a fair amount of press from them. There's been rumors of other projects and I'm even sure some announcements to come. We just got served some L content in the way of White Mars bts costumes. And we got some rumors of upcoming L projects with little actual confirmation. But the reality is both are independent contractors and while brand deals can keep them on the radar somewhat, they get far more engagement and investment from fans when they or the adjacents around them post about their alleged personal lives. I truly believe that neither really enjoy fostering a parasocial relationship with fans (N has certainly complained publicly about fans' parasocial relationship to her), but it doesn't stop them from feeding it.
If I were a celeb who truly didn't want a parasocial relationship to fans, I'd take a page from Hannah Dodd's book. I wouldn't show up at work events with a "partner." I'd have professional social media only. I'd keep family and friends off my public page as much as possible.
They know the secret: when they foster a parasocial relationship with fans, there are some who will go so far as to create stan accounts for those relationships. They'll get more feature articles in people, DM, etc. They'll get mentioned in listicles of Bridgerton stars with personal lives. They'll get more social media comments, positive or negative. They'll give something to fans to argue about in the comment section.
That's where I do think that if they are manipulating things and then (N particularly) waxing poetic about privacy, they do owe fans something. But on principle, I understand that celebs like JB for example, don't. And I don't begrudge him or the truly private cast that. But having your cake and eating it too aren't a thing, and Lukola needs to recognize that (and their role in this mess) at some point.
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