amiti @ami-wants-tea - Tumblr Blog

ive got a boy. hes pretty and lovely and nice and he picks me up every single date and opens the doors for me and when the waiter asks something hell wait for me to answer and he kissed my hand after dates and thanks me for going out with him and he texts me all the time, in the morning and night and after dates and before dates and he said he loved me and he kissed me yesterday for the first time and told me he loves me and i love him too i really do but im not ready to tell him yet and did i mention that hes actually my uni crush like i was obsessed with him before he knew i existed so now everything feels so so so unreal i am so happy oh my god dont even get me started

im in my dorm now!!

my dorm mates are great ppl and i really enjoy spending time with them

life is generally good, im just reeeaaally tired and therefor cranky bc woke up at six am, had classes and studied till 5 pm and went shopping with my friend till 7, wanna buy a phone from some site but it has problems, im really out of my routine and everything's mixed up and the last reason - which im not really proud of - is that my friend went on a date and it was a good date and im jealous and feel very unlovable.

soooo, the result of my entrance exam came and im accepted somewhere about 9 hours away from home and its killing me. like i cant stop crying.

its just that ive lived here for 18 years. everything ive ever known is here. my first school, my last school, the first cafe i secretly got drunk in, the restaurant i had my very first date, the lake i have THOUSANDS of memories with, every single person i saw on my walks, the mountain, the waterfall, the shops, everything.

and my parents.

i just know that noone in this whole wide world will ever love me as much as these guys do.

its killing them too. my dad held me last night and cried for about half an hour. im sad and scared and NOT ready for life.

the fact that i know these days are going to be the best days of the year scares me, the days between sending my applications and waiting for the answers i mean. they're really nice: i wake up early, i do yoga, im translating a book, i do chores while listening to an ed podcast, i go on walks to make random friends, i fight seasonal depression, i argue with my parents and... life is good yk. its still and peaceful. i never wanna leave this.

ami-wants-tea

my brother left for uni (again) and my mom is using me as her personal emotional punching bag to reduce her mental pressure; giving me silent treatment when im trying to get her out of it and baby her and etc. i dont really give a shit. im leaving for uni myself in a month or two so rip my dad. she has been talking about going to a therapist tho which i hope she does (fun fact: she is a psychologist) but what hurts me (other than the fact that she is body shaming me again after a very long time) is that she - i have to take a crying break here - hurts my cat to get to me. she know how much i love this cat. i gave her away bc we couldnt afford her and shes the loml. my mother talks shit about her to get on my nerves and shes successful so far bc my cat is so small and fragile and old and weak bc she was rescued how can anyone think bad abt her

ami-wants-tea

she said she wont let her come over when i go to uni and my brain just went: "well shes so old she wont stay alive that long" and i cried so hard mom came up to me and apologized

my brother left for uni (again) and my mom is using me as her personal emotional punching bag to reduce her mental pressure; giving me silent treatment when im trying to get her out of it and baby her and etc. i dont really give a shit. im leaving for uni myself in a month or two so rip my dad. she has been talking about going to a therapist tho which i hope she does (fun fact: she is a psychologist) but what hurts me (other than the fact that she is body shaming me again after a very long time) is that she - i have to take a crying break here - hurts my cat to get to me. she know how much i love this cat. i gave her away bc we couldnt afford her and shes the loml. my mother talks shit about her to get on my nerves and shes successful so far bc my cat is so small and fragile and old and weak bc she was rescued how can anyone think bad abt her

am i allowed to cry?

i cant study (even tho one of my most important exams is in 2 weeks) and i kinda gave up so im translating atyd instead.

im 3 chapters in so fat

#atyd #translation #study

heres a list of names for my future cat(s):

chroock: rhymes with brook - means wrinkles - for my sphynx

pashm: means animals hair or wool - for my persian

Conspiracy

this will be edited

#cats #cat names

i said im tired of my life and my mom casually replied go get married

the last week of being a student and i already forgot how it feels like