Good morning. So, sleepless in seattle rambles tonight. It is not the morning. This is not related to sleepless in Seattle the movie at all. I am just sleep deprived and this is what I have decided that call my ramblings.
I've been thinking these past few days and I just don't know. I don't think I like the bi label for myself.
The other day, my friends told me I look like I hate straight people (I don't know what that means. Ask them.) and I explained to them that it's not that I hate straight people. I just don't like them. I don't like people who feel the need to be so strict and uptight about gender and sexuality. This applies to not only straight people, I will be honest.
Today, this guy asked me if I was [*redacted*]. He refused to say gay in a genuine context. Him and his friends were making 'that's gayyy' jokes in class and he (probably the one in charge of the braincell this time) told them that they shouldn't say that with the teacher dude in class because he might actually be gay (he does give off very gay vibes, I will admit). And I was sick of their shit because they do this every lesson and I just go "you shouldn't say that anyway because you never know who might be gay." This guy looks at me, wide eyed, and goes, "Ola, are you-"
Now, here comes the part where I become perplexed. If I had said yes, I am gay, he would have thought I was only into girls, which is not the case. I could have told him in bi. I was going to. But it didn't feel right and I didn't want to say that about myself. So I settled on saying "I'll fuck whoever I want to fuck". This earned this guy's respect (not that I needed that) and he just gave me a nod of approval and a fist bump.
It's really not about having sex for me. The 'I'll fuck whoever I want to fuck' isn't entirely representative, but it is close to the conclusion I have come to.
I will love whoever I want, however I want.
This is what I have always told my parents when they asked me if I was gay. This is what I tell people when they ask what my sexuality is. This is what I do and that is that.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
Also unrelated but I hate being called a female. I do just hate when people refer to other people as 'the male' or 'the female' or sometimes even 'man' and 'woman' or 'son' and 'daughter'. Like? Why must it be sorted so much? Why can't people just be referred to as 'people'?
ellievsbear
kaledo-art
janainaart
areudirty
andulkaphoto
