Things KNY upper moons + Muzan (and Y/N) said, but I'm quoting my friends and I (Like fr, I'm copy pasting the texts)
Y/N: I'm stressing big time.
Y/N: But you know what's bigger?
Y/N: The distance between the ground and the top of the building I'm going to jump off.
Douma: Time to behead my dolls!
Y/N: That's the most sane thing you have said all week.
Gyutaro: I'm babysitting right now (Daki is the baby).
Y/N: Slay (Throw the baby).
Douma: You scared you can't break my baby throwing record?
Gyutaro: You have a WHAT.
Muzan, done with everyone: Douma having a record in baby throwing is the least suprising thing about him.
Gyutaro: I hate foreigners.
Y/N: The R in Gyutaro stands for racist apparently.
Y/N: Guys I want to catch some pedophiles, but I got to lure them in first.
Akaza: There is no need, Douma is already here.
Y/N: Don't act all suprised, you are banned from most places here. Parents tell their kids storoes about you so they'll behave.
Douma: Oh yeah lmao, valid.
Akaza: Bitch said valid to me calling him a pedo.
Y/N: Selling my feetpics are going to make sure Muzan is able to live in a retirement home later in life.
Muzan: I'M 6 MONTHS OLDER THAN YOU (FULL GOVERMENT NAME)
Akaza: YOU SELL FEETPICS?
(We were talking about chocolate balls my friend makes for us every now and then. God bless her innocent soul)
Y/N: Who wants to taste my famous balls?
Muzan: I'm unadopting you.
Akaza: You don't have balls?
Douma: I want to taste them!
Kokushibo: I don't have my balls anymore.
Douma: Guys, important question, would you fuck your clone?
Hantengu: Have done it, multiple times, would recommend.
Y/N: What if we let your clone and my clone fuck to see if we could start a p*rn career.
Douma: I am on the FBI most wanted list and even I have to say Y/N's brain scares me sometimes.
Muzan: Y/N, I will burn your house down if you don't finish school.
Y/N: I love how the alcoholic of this group is trying to stop me from hitting the pole.
Y/N sending a pic of them on the ground outside with their bike next to them in the middle of nowhere: lol guys guess who got hit and runned.
Akaza: IS 911 ON THEIR WAY?
Y/N: Oh now I remember why I grabbed my phone out of my pocket.
Akaza: (FULL GOVERMENT NAME)
Muzan: Oh yeah lol that was me, sorry about that.
Y/N: It's all good bruh, now I don't have to go to work.
Akaza: HAVE YOU CALLED 911 YET?
(Akaza called 911 for them, Muzan did not hit them that was a joke, Y/N had a light concussion and a broken leg. They never found the person who hit them)
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
areudirty
stormborns
izzy806
dailybridgerton
