Soulfully Yours... @amiyahsoul - Tumblr Blog

Start Again

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones and Samuel Evans. LOCATION: Samuel & Mercedes' Mansion - Los Angeles, California. TIME FRAME: Monday, January 26th, 2025. NOTES: Samuel wakes from a wild dream to a pregnant Mercedes, they talk about what has been plaguing him in his nightmares.

Samuel heard the constant sound of beeping in his ear, he shifted against the bed, his eyes still closed shut as he laid there. The noise drowned out all the other sounds around him, it was pulling him from a very deep slumber. Agitatedly he opened his eyes slowly, he raised his hand up blocking out the brightness around him in the space. The beeping persisted and he reached out his hand turning slightly to his right. He found where the annoying chime was coming from and he quickly turned his alarm clock off. He turned his body again, laying flat on the mattress once more his eyes shifted to his left, the bed was unmade but there was nobody laying there. He leaned his head upright taking in the space, he was home - his home, the one that he shared with Mercedes. Though just moments ago he would have sworn he was in another universe all together. The dream he had was vivid, it felt so real to him. He second guessed if he was still sleeping even now as a flood of the events from his dream came rushing back to him all at once. He and Mercedes on again and off, Mercedes pregnant with his daughter, him cheating, him having other children, fights, Mercedes pregnant with twin boys, him in a coma, him dying, and so much more his mind wanted to shake away from his subconscious. He did not know why this kept happening to him. He leaned up in bed, stretching his long limbs. The events that happened in his dreams night after night were enough for him to turn into a book, he might have to he thought. He couldn’t decide what it all meant and why it kept happening. But he knew right now that four things were true; Mercedes and he were together, the last time he checked she was definitely pregnant with their child, and he had no intentions of ruining the relationship, or dying. He shifted off the bed completely now, there was so much tension in his shoulders but he ignored it and shuffled towards the bathroom tiredly. Mercedes was not there but he continued his mission anyway; relieving himself, brushing his teeth, he even tried to wash the tiredness that was embedded in the fine lines of his face before he left the bathroom. He wanted to find her in the large house wherever she may be. His anxiety was all consuming. If he laid his eyes on her he’d know that everything was alright, because even now he still felt a sick sense of dread and he knew that it wouldn’t part from him until he did see Mercedes. “Miyah” he called out as he walked down the hall towards the staircase. He jogged down them as quickly as his long legs allowed. Reaching the landing he turned the corner, moving for the kitchen he had a sixth sense. If she was not there then the only other place she’d be was the nursery.

Mercedes sat in the family room off the kitchen, wrapped in the peace. Years of playing piano had to have given her better skills with her fingers than this, she thought a wave of frustration, ebbing off her in waves. She peaked up at the Youtube video playing at a snail speed. It was so slow it jumped from one frame to the next. A deep crease marred her forehead, “pick up hair from the right side” she mouthed, “then from the left.” She racked her pinky finger through each side until something lumpy and bumpy formed that almost resembled a braid. She released a frustrated sigh, then unraveled the tangled rope and started again, eyes flickering on the screen as she did. Her mind wandered as her hands worked on their own accord. Her eyes caught the sparkle of the actual engagement ring sitting on her fingers. In the weeks that passed she’d pushed away all doubts or worry and allowed only the overwhelming joy of being not only Samuel’s fiancée, but also carrying his child to consume her again. Her fingers stilled and she moved her hand to touch her barely there belly, holding it protectively. This time no one held any dominion over her. And even if someone tried, no one was getting through all 6 foot 7 inches of Samuel Evans. Their baby was safe even from her. Her eyes closed, “Please help me to be a good mother and wife. I know I don’t deserve it, but let my baby be healthy.” And as it was with so many of her prayers, “Forgive me.” She whispered, asking for an absolution that may never come. She opened her eyes then after a few moments, she unraveled the braid she had lost her place and was determined to get one good braid before she returned to bed. Her eyes perked up, Samuel was up, “I”m in here.” She said, grabbing the remote, she turned off the television and did her best to hide the doll behind a throw pillow.

Samuel heard her call back out to him shocked to find that she was not in the kitchen but she actually sounded further away. So he allowed his ears to lead him, he heard the odd sounds of a video playing from beyond. He ran his fingers through his long hair as he entered their family room, the video no longer on the tv and Mercedes sitting idly there. He raised his brow examining the area curiously wondering why this room? At this time and in silence? Perhaps the melody of a song or lyrics she could not ignore drew her here; he ignored the fact that he didn’t see her usual notebook and pen nearby. “Baby?” he said more of a question than a greeting. “You good?” he asked as he walked into the room further. He walked around the coffee table taking her in eyes scanning her from head to toe, sitting beside her on the couch he rubbed her thigh lovingly. “Everything okay?” he asked her quizzically. To say he was attentive to her was an understatement; the last few months of their lives had been a wreck; this happened to be the most hopeful he had ever been about the both of them. The dust had settled and he made a promise to her, well not only her but their unborn daughter. He could not foresee it right now but he would marry her, someday. Right now their top priority had been fixing each other and preparing for a baby neither could confess to being nervous about. Any hiccups she faced sent him into an unshakeable panic. She was in the clear now after having been put on bed rest for a few weeks in the beginning of her second trimester but even now just an odd look in her eye put him on edge. Perhaps that is why he had such crazy dreams, his anxiety would not shake him even in his sleep.

Mercedes frowned slightly. “Bae?” she echoed, mimicking the concern she heard in Samuel's voice. She curled her fingers around his large hand, keeping it anchored on her thigh. “I’m fine, bae,” she reassured him softly. “I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake you.” There was something in his tone that made her feel the need to clarify her whereabouts. “I’m fine and the baby is fine,” she added, hoping to remove the worry shining in his eyes. She bit her lip and glanced at the ring on her finger. She knew Samuel well. The complications surrounding her pregnancy had him on edge. Despite her excitement a part of her understood that the ring on her finger felt more like a peace offering than an actual promise of marriage. Nevertheless, she wanted to believe and trust it was more than that, so she exhaled pushing those negative thoughts aside. She knew he loved her and that was enough. Removing her hand from his, she placed it gently against his cheek. She sensed something was bothering him and whatever it was she wanted it to stop. “What’s wrong?”

She mimicked him even down to his words, it made a weird spine chilling sensation crawl up his back; she was up to something. He allowed her to continue as she explained why she was downstairs and not up in their bed where she belonged. As she added that she and the baby were fine, he relaxed a little at the acknowledgement. She reached her right hand out to touch his cheek, her question catching him off guard. “With me? Nothing” Samuel lied through his teeth though he did not truly feel his little issue was important enough to bring up to her. He was having a couple of weird dreams. It was not the end of the world. Though he did ponder all the things that were currently wrong; for one he had something beyond the idea of writer's block - in fact he had not written at all in months. He owed his publisher a body of work, the deadline was right around the corner however his computer remained bare. He had a huge project on his plate, only serving as a distraction but it had started to become a very costly one. He had put thousands into the construction of his own animal sanctuary, why at this point he didn’t know. Not to mention Carla did not give him any rest, even though he worked overtime to hide every possible text, phone call, and interaction with the woman for Mercedes’ sake. He didn’t need anyone telling him the idea of the woman possibly carrying his child was a huge indicator that he fucked up, because he lived with it everyday. “Don’t worry about me, I am fine” he lied again, shutting his mind down before it thought of any more issues to consume itself with. “I should make us breakfast,” he said, moving to stand up. If he continued to pretend they would be okay, right?

Mecedes combed her finger through Samuel’s beard. Clearly, he was lying, but the worry on his face seemed to dissipate so she supposed her explanation must have been the correct one. She exhaled and sat back against the pillows, shifting as the doll poked her in the back. He rose, towering over her from her spot on the couch. She held up her left hand, waggling her fingers at him. “This ring says worrying about you is officially my job.” She told him with a smug smile. “Are you sure? It did seem like something was on your mind?” It was still early, but the baby was warring against the idea of her not being hungry. “It’s still early. Maybe a little fruit.” She said, getting to her feet.

Samuel’s eyes watched as she wiggled her fingers for him to see, he smirked at the playfulness and the slight joke she told. “Not too much though” he said, it was his job in his mind to worry about her for the remainder of her pregnancy. She could worry about him thereafter. He didn’t think she would press the issue but she did, it made him think deeply about a possible response he could give her that she would believe. “Just thinking about how I should really get started on her room, you have a lot of ideas I need to make come alive” he breathed, hoping she believed this last and final attempt of a lie. There was some truth there he had managed to get her to decide on which room she liked in the house the most and she’d even sampled paint colors on its walls. He sometimes found her in there designing the room in her mind, envisioning the finished product as she indecisively shifted between one idea to the next. Ultimately he knew some random designer would come in and wow her. “A little fruit” he repeated, he offered her a hand to get up though who knew she didn’t necessarily need it. She barely showed, it had freaked him out at first but now he overlooked it. He thought by now there would be an indicator that she was carrying the life they created within. He had only sonograms and appointments to excite him, his vision of rubbing a big belly had not yet come to pass. He felt cheated by that a little sometimes, he guessed he did have another thing to add to his list of bothers.

Mercedes chuckled, but deep down she knew that worry was part of her nature. She would probably be worrying about this man on her deathbed, even if he passed away first. She nodded obediently, batting her eyes at him, finally playing along with his game. “Yes, sir.” Her grin, mischievous. She took his hand, her perfectly arched eyebrow raising at his words. “Mhm.. is that it?” she asked, narrowing her eyes further. “Are you really going to do the work yourself?” At that moment, she knew Samuel was lying through his teeth. The question that lingered was whether she should confront him about it. Something must have been bothering him, as evident by the concerned look on his face earlier, yet he didn’t want to share any details with her. Was he trying to protect her or simply keeping secrets? She nodded, pulling herself away from her thoughts. “If I eat anything else this early and then lie back down again, I’ll end up with heartburn. Do you think it’s true what they say? That babies with full heads of hair give you heartburn?” she mused as they walked to the kitchen.

Samuel nodded his head at her, her next question caused a chuckle to leave his lips. “I have thought about hiring someone to help you one-on-one, yes” he said truthfully. “A professional will probably be able to better help plan out your vision and execute it faster than I could. What do you think?” he asked her. “I have a few designers in mind already, I cycled through some for the animal sanctuary” he breathed moving for the kitchen. She gave him a legitimate reason why she just wanted fruit and he did not argue against it, he didn’t want her to be uncomfortable later. “Okay, I’ll make you a little mixed fruit bowl,” he told her, he on the other hand needed a proper meal especially if he planned to go to the gym later. A snort left him “babe I don’t know about that” he said and he truly didn’t. “It could though” he shrugged lightly. “Is that what you think is going on? She’s going to come out with a full head of hair because you have such bad heartburn?” he asked her as he moved to pull various fruits from their massive fridge. He pulled strawberries, a peach, an apple, and kiwi from it before closing the door behind himself. He placed them down on the counter, he grabbed a cutting board, and a knife after. He washed the fruit off thoroughly before he began to pat the fruit dry resting the fruit on the cutting board. He grabbed a bowl, it was large in size but what she didn’t eat he would. He began to slice the fruit up for her, once he did he picked the board up and slid it all into the bowl. He slid the bowl to her and turned around grabbing her a fork. “Fruit” he said happily turning back around to her, he walked up to where she sat and handed her the fork placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Oh,” Mercedes said, “that makes sense.” She actually didn’t put anything past the man anymore. She was sure if he wanted to build out the nursery himself, he would. The thought of watching him do so would have amused her greatly. “I think it would be a good idea. I can’t decide between a more traditional nursery or a modern one. Not to mention, I also want to hire someone to baby-proof the house as well.” She told him, “How are the plans for the sanctuary coming along?” She pursed her lips. She knew he loved those damn snakes, but was happy as hell she didn’t have to share a space with them. She shivered slightly just thinking about it. She climbed up and sat at the kitchen island, her feet swinging as she watched Samuel work his way around. If the world only knew this man cooked for her most of the time, they would crucify her. Again, she narrowed her eyes playfully at Samuel. “Between both of our manes, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt she has a full head of hair.” Mercedes sat back, hands going to her stomach, “bae, it’s time for us to pick a name,” she whispered, almost like a prayer. It was a big step, she thought smiling as she felt his lip against her head, “have you thought about any yet? The writer in you must have some ideas.”

“Yes, hopefully I find someone that you can collaborate with very well,” Samuel said to her thoughtfully. “Um” Samuel paused, sighing heavily to himself “it’s going babe… costing way more than I would like it to though” he told her honestly. “It’s so much I have to work out, building this all out has been a task… but hopefully we get it done. Maybe by the end of the year?” he said shaking his head “I don’t know I can’t stress over it” he said getting annoyed just thinking about it. He ran his hands through his hair as he walked away to grab some eggs and he placed them on the counter. He chuckled at her “I guess we will have to wait and see” he said with a bright smile on his face. “I guess you are right about that” he told her, he moved to grab a steak from the fridge to cook with his eggs, he had not even thought of a baby name. “I hadn’t thought about it really” he told her, deciding to tell her the truth yet again. “And I don’t feel much like a writer right now either” he said sighing again “I can’t seem to type a damn thing” he added. He grabbed a pan and placed it onto their massive stove top, he heard a thump and he turned his head to their backyard. He could see the pet dogs from here, all sitting there waiting to be let back into the home. They were hungry, he knew. “One second baby” he said as he rushed over toward the sliding glass door. He opened it and let them in, they trotted towards the kitchen. His Cane Corso Zeus moved to rest by Mercedes’ feet as he had been doing off and on since they moved in and found out Mercedes was pregnant. His two Great Danes trotted towards their dog bowls and sat down waiting patiently for their food.

Mercedes nodded, picking a slice of strawberry with her fingers. She popped the cool fruit into her mouth chewing while she actively listened to a talkative Samuel. She twisted her lips at the frustration in his tone. “Nothing happens overnight, bae. It will work out.” She encouraged picking up a slice of apple. She bit the end watching the hulking man, tenderness written across her face. She snorted in time with him then finished the apple. Of course, she was right, she thought, laughing at herself. The fact that he had not thought of a name surprised her a little. She had been mulling over names for months, but nothing ever seemed right. Now, after finding out the gender, calling her baby girl didn’t feel adequate. She pulled her hands from her stomach and seriously listened to Sam. This might explain his anxiety this morning, at least some of it. She was about to ask if this was the root of his problem when he asked her to hold her thought. She looked toward the backyard, to where the dogs were. At this point, she used the fork to pick out some kiwi nibbling on it as her secretly favorite dog came over and sat at her feet. “Morning Zeus", she cooed, munching away at her kiwi.

Samuel walked back into the kitchen and opened the fridge pulling out food for the dogs. He only fed them the best of the best, he grabbed three packages of the human grade food and he moved to their bowls. He ripped the packages open and filled all three bowls up. The dogs did not move, he picked up two water bowls and filled them up before he placed them back in their designated locations. Thereafter he filled the third water bowl up before he placed it back as well. He grabbed a few blueberries, raw eggs and placed them in the food bowls as well making sure to crack the eggs before he placed them in, shell and all in the bowl. “Zues, Atlas, and Thor go eat” he commanded as he washed his hands clean in the kitchen sink. He watched as the dogs did as they were told, Zeus reluctantly leaving Mercedes’ side to eat among his brethren. “Yeah I know it will work out” Samuel said back to her, he moved to open the package of steak so that he could salt and pepper it. “What names have you thought of?” he asked, trying to return back to their original conversation, he didn’t want to come off dismissive.

Mercedes watched Samuel intently, leaning forward on her elbows. She hummed to herself a melody without real form, while she chewed on bits of fruit her thoughts focused on the new family she and Sam were creating. She looked down at Zeus, who rose loafing over to eat as commanded. “You can come back after breakfast,” she said, pouting slightly. She batted her eyes at Samuel and added, “You are going to be an amazing dad.” Getting off the stool, she grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and brushed past Samuel, lightly rubbing her hand over his broad back. “Is there anything I can help you with?” she asked climbing back up on the stool. “I’ve thought of a few names, but nothing that I love. For some reason, the name River keeps coming to mind… Miranda…” she mused.

Samuel raised a brow at her comment, he didn’t say anything - the truth was he probably wasn’t and that was always his biggest fear. He loved kids as long as they weren’t his. He could only wish to get this right but he was sure out of anyone Mercedes would be the person to assist in ensuring he was. “Yeah” he breathed quietly. “I don’t think so,” he said, actually pondering her question for a moment “no I have it covered” he told her. His ears perked up at the name River “River?” he repeated with a smirk “I like River” he told her “put that down in the maybe pile babe” he said as he moved to grease and heat his pan up. “Miranda” he said turning to look at her “Miranda?” he repeated again incredulously. “Um…” he said both confused and worried. “Yeah, I will take some time aside to write down names I like, don’t you worry.”

Mercedes smiled, chuckling. “You are,” she reiterated, biting her lip. “You do know you take care of everybody,” she told him, pointing between herself and the dogs “in this house.” She added not wanting to let him off the hook just yet. She tilted her head, “Well, if you need anything, I’m here. We are a team now. I can help.” Mercedes told him sincerely. There was something pretty about the name River. “I agree.” She laughed, “I know that name sounds crazy. Hearing it out loud. It sounds like an old lady’s name. Or an old hoe.” She giggled, leaning back in her seat.

“You do know that is my job right?” Samuel retorted, him being a provider did not mean he would be a good father, look at his dad. Sure he brought home the bacon but it came with a fist as well. “I can only hope to be a good dad” he clarified “I have no desire to be anything like mine” he told her. He moved to grab his streak and he placed it on the hot pan, he did not care to dress it up right now he just needed the protein. “We are a team,” he said, turning around to her again. “And I know you can help me, but I just want you to relax. Worry about the baby and the preparations to get her here” he said lovingly to her. At her comment he tilted his head squinting one eye at her “right” he said playing the comment over in his head. That comment might have irritated him in the past but right now he was going to let her have it. He watched Zeus trot back over to her, sitting at her feet again. He moved back to his steak, flipping it over in the pan before he grabbed another pan, he placed it on the stove and began heating it so that he could scramble a couple eggs. He turned his head to look at her “you know I love you right?” he asked.

Mercedes squinted, pursing her lips. Was he conflating providing for a family with being a father? That was definitely not what she meant. He clarified his thoughts and she relaxed. “You will never be anything like your father,” she said a bite in her voice. The added asshole in her mind, annoyed at the thought of him. She sighed and rubbed her hand over her belly, nodding as she acknowledged the complications she’d faced. Everything seemed to have settled, but she understood the need for caution. Absently, Mercedes reached down to scratch the huge dog on his head and ears as she considered more baby names. Then Sam's next words caught her off guard. She blinked and slid off the stool, walking over to him. Going up on her toes, she still had to grab his shirt to pull him down to her level. Adding a chased kiss to his lips. “Of course,” she told him before kissing his lips once more. She would never question his love for her. She knew God had gifted her with two major blessings so far: her voice and Sam Evans.

Mercedes words were reassuring but that fear was deep seeded, it had taken root inside of him. It was hard for him to see that right now, but he prayed that it was true. As she climbed down off the stool moving towards him, he pulled her to his side leaning down to meet her for a kiss. He savored the feel with a smirk on his face, he pecked her back the second time patting her butt lovingly. His hand moved to rub her stomach gently with his large hand “good” Samuel said, he kissed the top of her head before he said “go put your feet up” protectively. He’d make his meal, eat, clean the kitchen up on her behalf and then lock himself away in his office to try to will his brain to produce something he knew it could not. He needed to write something he knew that, even if it took him day and night to do it, it was imperative he got this project done. “Say it back first” he commented in a calm voice.

Mercedes settled herself back down on her feet. She bit her lip and smiled at Sam’s playful antics, “Yes, sir.” She said, voice pitched low and sultry. She moved to the counter and picked up her bowl of fruit, she might be able to practice a bit more in the den before she got her day officially started. “Come on, Zeus,” she said, heading towards the den. She stopped when she heard Sam's voice requesting that she reciprocate his words of love. She turned eyes shining, “I love you… have always loved and will always love you” she said earnestly. She turned her head and raised an eyebrow at the man. “You still don’t want to tell me what really got you out of bed?” Sam knew she loved him; lately, she thought that was their biggest issue. All his worries were valid but this was something personal to her; she could feel it.

Samuel watched her and he smirked to himself, he knew she loved him hearing it brought out a totally different type of comfort she was acutely unaware of,or maybe she did feel the same way. He looked down watching Zeus stand to his feet circling Mercedes protectively. He licked his lips looking down, he could continue to hide his feelings or he could be honest with her. Of course he preferred honesty; he just didn’t want to hurt her with anything he had to say to her. Especially when it came to Carla he was well aware there was a soft spot there, he was not blind to it and he wouldn’t pretend to be. “Uh” he said pausing as he gathered his thoughts, he moved towards the stove he removed his steak, buying himself some time. He sat it to the side, his appetite was lost anyway. “I don’t want to talk to you about this and I really wouldn’t if I didn’t have to. But I feel like you deserve to know what has been happening” he told her, sighing, he turned to face her again. “If I were to be honest, I have been dealing with a lot of stuff that has to do with Carla behind your back. Not anything like that” he said, unable to mention his past mistakes. “She’s like… um” he paused “due any day and she just keeps calling on me to help her?” he asked, unsure of how to word it. “I am nervous about what’s to come next. I don’t want her and this baby to get between you and I. If the baby is mine of course…”

Mercedes pulled in a deep breath, exhaling it out through her nose. She stilled her nerves against whatever he was about to say. It was big enough for her to have to prod, to draw the information out, which meant it was most likely something she would not enjoy talking about. She resisted the urge to fill the quiet as he hesitated, sprawling. She let her hand drop down to Zeus’s head, the dog comfort in the eye of whatever this was. She nodded as he spoke, digesting his words. Her eyebrow jerked up, but then she relaxed at how quickly he clarified. Her hand shook a bit as she moved back to the counter, setting the bowl down. Damn him. She thought, gripping the surface of the counter with both hands. He should have been more careful. She chuckled at how stupid she sounded. She was careful herself; she just had the right to choose. Inhaling and exhaling a bit, then she bit the inside of her lip looking out into the backyard, “Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” She shrugged. “You guys were together after all.” She admitted reluctantly. The words tasted like bile.

Samuel watched Mercedes, he inhaled slowly at her body's response to him. “The latter is not the point babe” he told her honestly, she was just supplying him with what she thought was best to be said in the moment “there is nothing to really do per say” he told her honestly. “I did ask Carla to get a abortion Mercedes, obviously at the time did not want any kids at all. Not until I had to rush you to the emergency room as you know” he said thoughtfully. He leaned back against the counter, his hands gripping the marble. “Then that changed” he told her “even though that changed and I am embracing having a baby with you I feel like shit, because I have done nothing for Carla and there is a potential that that is my baby. But she was no fucking saint Mercedes I know she cheated on my often, I do have my doubts” he said shaking his head. “I am all over the place I know” he sighed as he folded his arms over his chest. “I want to embrace the baby if it is mine, I just don’t want you to hate me for it and I think it’s keeping me up at night. The idea of me hurting you because of that. I am not asking for like… your blessing because I don’t think that is fair to you. I just want you to know that I am thinking of you all the time while I try to right this wrong” he said moving to place his hand on the small of her back. “I feel like I need to be there for her when she gives birth and be present if the baby is mine” he said finally getting it all out.

Mercedes' smile was broken. He was wrong; that was exactly the point. She listened as he vented. Her heart was breaking, but only for a dream. A dream she knew she hadn’t deserved in a long, long time. Mercedes felt the hot tear hit her arm. She looked at the small puddle as if it were a foreign object. Tentatively, she reached up brushing the tears away with her fingers. She could feel him approaching her, his shadow enveloping her. She knew she needed to face him. Say something. She blew out a ragged breath and wiped away the last unshed tears. “I hate this.” She admitted, “I’ve never wanted to share our family with anyone.” Her voice broke on those words. She turned, swallowing past the lump in her throat. She stepped into his embrace. “I told you you were going to be an outstanding father. I would not expect anything less from you.” She whispered against his chest. “How could loving your child make me hate you?” She said, tears falling freely. As she cried for not only this moment but for their son, she never got to meet.

As he watched tears fall from her eyes he kicked his own ass she deserved the truth but he hated seeing her cry, it was making him feel sick. She turned to him and he looked down at her, he hugged her to his large frame. “I am sorry” he admitted truthfully, this happened to be his fault he knew that. He should have chosen what he really wanted a long time ago and not juggled them both. It was not hard for him to acknowledge that he in fact preferred Mercedes and not Carla, he should have just chosen her. A lot of stuff they had dealt with in the last couple of months would have never happened. He wrapped his arms around her frame, pulling her to his chest “please don’t cry Miyah, I wish I could make this all go away for you. Seriously I do” Samuel said, he didn’t know what he wanted, but her being understanding was making it worse for him. He should not be granted peace or understanding from her right now. He actually wished she was cursing him out, maybe even packing up and leaving, her being understanding made him feel like shit even more. “It is deeper than that, and if you want to hate me you have that right too” he said seriously as he shook his head. “I made a mess of a lot of things,” he sighed tiredly.

Mercedes shook her head, “Don’t.” He’d been her salvation. She felt safe and loved beyond measure with this man. Without him, she felt exposed and unloved. So, she’d fought dirty to get him back. What was the saying all is fair in love and war. Love it or hate it, Carla and this outside baby was the price. So be it. “We’ve both had lives outside of each other. Neither of us is clean. I am not clean.” She told him, clinging to him as if her life depended on it. She looked up at him, leaning back to see his eyes. “I can’t hate you… You are my mess and hopefully I’m yours.”

Samuel looked down into Mercedes brown eyes, he knew she was telling the truth, actually acknowledging that they both had done things in their past. He nodded his head with a big grin on his face “yes you are my mess and I would not change a thing about that” he said softly, he leaned down and kissed her forehead sweetly. “Thank you” Samuel said next, his large hands rubbing up and down her back trying to soothe her hurt and frustration. “For being so understanding and very supportive during all of this. Baby girl, you are an amazing woman and I am very very honored to be loved by you” he said lovingly. “I really don’t deserve you…”

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Soulfully Yours...