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3 Words ; Harrison & Amiyah

Harrison looked at her as she spoke and his heart broke for her. He reached his hand toward her and cupped her cheek and looked in her eyes, “I believe you.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead and then silently got up and grabbed a dry towel from the linen closet before walking back over to her and helped her stand up and wrapped her up in the towel and helped her out of the tub. He wrapped his arms around her and tried to warm her up and get her in dry clothes. He didn’t know what to say. Did the memory of seeing Dallas kiss her still hurt him? Yes. But did he honestly believe her? Yes. It was a complicated thing, combined with the feelings he was still coming to terms with and how much he still didn’t know about her and what he needed to know, it didn’t make it easy for him to know how to handle this with words.

Once she got changed and dry, he led her over to the bed and sat with her and looked at her. He was worried about her and he decided that the most important thing to talk about was her health - physical and emotional. He looked at her and held her hands, “Can you tell me what’s going on? Were you tempted to hurt yourself tonight?”

{ trigger warning - self harm, suicide attempt, rape, ect. }

It was as if Amiyah went numb. The whole process of him warming her up, getting her into dry clothes, and onto their bed felt like it all slowed down and came into a halt. Eyes weren’t blinking, just staring into space. Her body felt cold. Empty in the inside. His stare going right through her. She felt as if she was sinking and couldn’t figure a way out. This was all her fault. She knew he was hurt. She didn’t deserve his kindness. Though his words suddenly snapped her back into reality. She couldn’t lie. No longer able to hold anything back in anymore. “Yes..” She replied. Voice hoarse. Quiet even. “It wouldn’t be the first time..”

“I..I haven’t been honest with you.. About how I’m okay.. I’m not.” Finally able to look up and meet his gaze, her hues watered once again. “I know you want me to trust you, I know you want to be close to me.. And I know I kept a wall up between us.. Reason why it’s because.. Because I didn’t grow up in a happy or safe childhood. My.. my family abused me. Physically, mentally, emotionally.. sexually. I was the only girl in the family besides my mom. My brothers would have their way with me.. so would my mom and dad. Though my dad would have moments where he actually cared and protected me, but then he’d change. It happened for long until I was taken away and adopted by my two dads..” Tears began to trickle down her face as her bottom lip quivered. “Though they didn’t realize that they adopted a girl who’s forever scarred and suicidal.. I’d harm myself and would even try to take my own life..” Sobs fell from her lips as she shut her eyes tightly and buried her face into her arms. “I’m used to being a mistake.. Not being loved.. And I knew I would screw this up.. I screw everything up.” Her sobs seem to get louder as she tried to catch her breath. “I couldn’t be intimate with you because I’m afraid and scarred from the rape that would keep happening to me.. And my trust issues are really strong.. But.. But I want to be with you. I really really do. And.. And I love you..” She admitted as she looked up at him, unable to control her cries. “I-I.. I really do.. But. But I know I screwed it all up now and I wouldn’t blame you for leaving me now. I hurt you.. You deserve better.”

#p; harrison #para.#3 words #tw; self harm #tw; rape #tw; suicide attempt #tw; abuse

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3 Words ; Harrison & Amiyah

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Harrison went straight to the hospital after dropping the dogs off at the house. He needed to get away. He needed to not be around Amiyah until he could be sure he wouldn’t say something he would regret. All he was able to think then was that this was bound to happen. He was unlovable and no matter how hard he tried, no one would love him back or see him for the man he wanted to be. He felt as small as he did when he was a kid that got beat up and made fun of in school. He felt two feet tall. He needed time to think this through and not be so emotional before he went home.

The more he walked around at the hospital, the more he thought about Amiyah and the look on her face and sound of her voice as she tried to stop him. Eventually, his optimism came back, at least partially, as he realized that she was so eager to talk to him and so desperate to talk to him, not in so much of a guilty way, but as if she needed to talk and explain. He wondered if it was naive to hope that there was some explanation, but more so, he realized that the reason he was so hurt and his heart was so broken was because he had fallen. He knew he was falling, but now the deep hurt that he felt was more than to just his pride. His heart felt broken. He loved her. He wanted her to love him, but he wasn’t sure she ever would. And even though she had hurt him, it hurt him more to think of the relationship being over.

After a few hours of being terribly distracted during his shift, he was told to go home early and so he did. He thought about what he would say to her when he saw her and decided it might be better to just hear her out first. He hoped she would have an explanation, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. When he finally got home, he walked in and was immediately greeted by their three dogs. He didn’t call out to her. He couldn’t make himself. He didn’t hear her in the front of the house near the kitchen or living room so headed back toward their bedroom with a large sigh. It wasn’t until he stepped in his bedroom that he saw the light on in their bathroom and heard the water moving, that he heard any sign of her. He walked in and gasped as he saw her underneath the water and ran toward her to pull her out, “AMIYAH! Are you okay?!”

Before she could even pull herself out of the water, she was suddenly pulled back to the surface by a pair of large hands. His face suddenly visible to her. Heart shattering as she silently let her hues fall before resting to the side. Not able to find her own words. She knew what it looked like to him, heck she was even thinking of doing it. But she made a promise to both of her dads that she wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t go back to her old ways of getting out of problems. Trying to escape from the pain.

Her dark chocolate brown hues glanced at him as her fingertips brushed against the wet surface. Only silence has filled the cold air. Her heart pounding rapidly until she reached the even pace. Being able to breathe calmly. Though her facial expression was numb. She had to tell him. Tell him what happened.. Tell him why she’s so closed off. If she wanted this to work, if she wanted to be with him. All cards need to be laid on the table. “I didn’t kiss him..” She spoke, her voice cracking yet silent. “I didn’t kiss him.. He kissed me.. I pulled back, but I guess you didn’t see that..” Licking her chapped lips, she remained silent before continuing. “I don’t blame you for not believing me. I know what it would look like to you.. But I didn’t kiss him and I don’t know why he kissed me..” Scratching the surface, she rested against the side, “I don’t blame you for not wanting to be with me anymore.. no one ever does..” Her voice grew quiet at her last comment as the memories came flooding back.

#p; harrison #para.#3 words.

3 Words ; Harrison & Amiyah

Amiyah returned home, tears running down her face and her heart slowly beating along with her slow footsteps. Hues scanning the living room to the kitchen. “H-Harrison?” Her voice hoarse as she glanced around, unable to be happy that the three dogs have greeted her, unaware of what she was feeling. Licking her chapped lips, her gaze was soon darted to the folded piece of paper on the counter. ‘At work.' It simply said. No ‘hope to see you tonight’, no nothing. She screwed up. She screwed up big. Even if she didn’t do anything, she did. Not even bothering to remove her clothing, she filled the tub till it was full before stepping in and sliding beneath the water.

It was her fault, all her fault. Though she didn’t kiss back, and she did pull away, it didn’t change what he saw. And now he’s going to leave her. Of course Amiyah would be the cause of everything. She should’ve known it was too good to be true. He is perfect, and she’s a screwed up mess. Maybe her parents were right, she was worthless. Fighting for oxygen, she gave in and brought her face back to the surface. Sucking in the cool air. Hues opening and looking down at her old scars. She will not sink back in. She will not sink back in. She didn’t know when he was coming back, or if he was. But all she knew she just couldn’t leave the tub.

#p; harrison #para.#3 words.