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𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠… 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭

remus lupin x fem!reader

word count: 6.6k

tags: fem!reader. spiderman au. spider girl!reader. friends to lovers. slowburn. gender bend spiderman x gwen stacy? blood and violence talk related to this universe. sirius centric chapter.

a/n: well.

part seventeen 🕸️ series masterlist

—

Growing up in the deep English countryside, surrounded by the cold and embellished walls of Grimmauld Place, didn’t give Sirius much choice but to develop certain quirks and issues that would come to bite him in the arse in the future. Dividing his time between raising Regulus and hatching a plan to escape, it was only a matter of time his first time out in the world, and outside the gilded cage he grew up in, would try to swallow him whole.

Fortunately, James Potter was already there to soften the fall. Unfortunately, falling immediately into the warm embrace of the Potters presented with the perfect opening to develop yet another issue he thought was long gone and solved… his codependency.

He didn’t think much of it growing up, even less with how much James seemed to enjoy his company—wrecking havoc first at boarding school and then back home between holidays. You’d never see Sirius without James and the other way around. And then, during the summers, it was you and James. And Sirius found himself creating yet another codependent bond with an unsuspecting but equally wounded soul.

Sirius liked to tell himself that these friendships… this siblinghood he created with you and James, was his last act of selfishness when it came to his heart’s desires. That he was set for life and that there was nothing or no one in the world that would come in between you three, so he let it happen. He let himself be loved and respected, he let himself seek that love in you, and, of course, he let himself be wrapped up in the idea that nothing would stand between his little found family. So he let it happen, and promised himself this would be the only stance he’d fall for his codependent tendencies. Apart from this, it would be him and just himself.

But then… Bartemius Crouch Jr. came along. Sweet and infuriatingly charming Junior who wouldn’t leave the bar until Sirius personally had to ask him if he’d order something, adding a very nice yet threatening smirk to remind him that if he wouldn’t order, he had to leave the pub.

Annoyingly cocky Junior who kept ordering drink after drink until it was closing time, claiming he was having a bit of a rough patch with his dad and needed some time to himself. Surprisingly… understanding Junior who stayed even after closing his tab and offered to help Sirius clean, sharing musings and stories about their own childhoods. Twin wounded souls finding each other in a dingy pub. Sirius accepted his offer for dinner, picked his best clothes and ignored his friends’ warnings about Barty Crouch Jr. He walked into that restaurant and felt the first tug at his heartstrings when Junior greeted him with a hug and a soft kiss on the cheek.

He reminded himself it was just one date, that it didn’t have to mean anything… until one turned into more. Until one night he accepted the shy but subtly flirtatious offer back to Junior’s flat. Until they shared sweet nothings and even quieter secrets about the wounds they each desperately tried to heal growing up. A balm to each other’s pain in the dark hours of the night, wrapped in sheets and ignoring the world outside—even if that meant ignoring his friends’ and his brother’s warnings. Sirius couldn’t bring himself to care, not when he finally found someone that could look at his real self and not recoil away at what he saw, or wince in sympathy for his tragic upbringing.

So, truthfully, he never stood a chance.

“…the sugar, dear?”

Sirius blinks. “Huh?”

Effie smiles softly. “Could you pass me the sugar, please, my dear?”

“Sugar?” he repeats, brows twitching. Movement catches his eye across the table, and James subtly points at the sugar in front of him with his pinkie. Sirius clears his throat. “Oh, right. Sorry, mum.”

“It’s okay, my love.” Effie says, as she always does. Immense in her understanding but never pushing for answers. She gives his hand a loving squeeze after taking the sugar, then turns to May. “But yes, I did see her photos in last week’s front page. Quite an overarchiver, our girl.”

Your aunt chuckles fondly. “That she is,” she sets her scone down. “I can hardly get a hold of her these days.”

“Well…” Sirius clears his throat, reaching for his own glass. “I can think of a couple of reasons. One, specifically.”

Both Effie and May pause, turning to him with confused frowns. The table rattles when James steps on his foot, trying to catch his attention and missing by a mile.

“Whatever you mean, sweetheart?” May asks.

Sirius smirks, leaning closer to the table. “You didn’t hear this from me but,” his eyes flicker playfully between them, always a penchant for theatrics. “I think she’s seeing someone. A very handsome and obnoxiously tall master’s student, to be specific.”

James nearly chokes on his own iced tea.

May frowns, a faraway look on her face as she thinks. “Master’s student…” she muses quietly.

Effie frowns, too. “Obnoxiously tall…” she repeats, sharing a quick look with May before she perks up. “Oh, you mean Remus?”

Across the table, James lets his face drop to his hands. Glasses creaking as they go askew and sideways. “For fuck’s sake,” he whispers. muffled as he rubs his face against his palms.

“James.”

“James,” Sirius says, too, but sounding a tad wounded. “You knew?”

“Knew what?” James has the nerve to ask, slowly picking his head up.

“About Remus and y/n, you buffoon!”

May hums. “Sirius, my darling, I think everyone knew,” she hums, dabbing at the corner of her lips. “Or at least I suspected it. y/n isn’t quite subtle when she fancies someone.”

Effie laughs. “Remember that boy that moved into the house on the corner?” she adds, voice laced with mischief and fondness. “Monty spent hours trying to fix her board after that fall.”

“Which one?” Sirius jokes.

“Hey, be nice,” Effie chides softly, though her lips betray her. “She didn’t quite know how to slow down yet.”

“And it’s not her fault she’s endearingly clumsy.”

“Naturally clumsy, you mean.”

A quiet chorus of laughter echoes around the table, it subdues into a soft silence as they each finish their food and scones. Sirius glances down at his own plate, twirling his fork in an absentminded manner and trying to quell down the twinge of melancholia that hits him square in the chest.

“And what about you, honey?” May asks, reaching over to tuck his hair away in a tender way that makes his heart ache again. “We’ve heard some things about you, too.”

“You have?” he asks, narrowingly missing the way James tenses in front of him. Sirius clears his throat, trying to tame down his surprise. “What… kinds of things?”

Effie hums. “That we may or may not meet someone new at your opening night. Is that right?” she leans closer, in the same way he did minutes prior. “A handsome young man?”

“Me?” his voice quietens, uncertain and nervous at once. It makes them pause in their excitement, and Sirius forces himself to fix his tone with a cough. “Right, yes. His name’s uh… Junior.”

“Junior?”

He hesitates. “Bartemius, actually. Junior’s just a nickname.”

“He does sound very handsome," May muses, lips twitching into a knowing smirk as she shares glances with Effie.

“He does, yes,” Effie goes on, reaching over to nudge May with a little wink.

Sirius runs a hand through his hair, nervous and shy at once as he shifts on his chair. He pointedly ignores the look on James’ face, lips pursed like he’s holding himself back from sharing his own thoughts about Junior.

He’d know, seeing he’s holding his own secrets back to keep brunch from turning into yet another Sirius tragedy retelling. He answers their questions and smiles, holding back the memory of their fight and the sound of doors slamming; clothes being thrown into bags and tears shred as they each pleaded to not walk away. All over a small weekend getaway, over something as small as Sirius taking a few days before opening night to go home. There’s a strange feeling that grows and grows with each passing moment, each day he’s spent apart from Junior and each message that goes ignored in a flimsy attempt to stop this distance from growing. Dread claws its way up his throat until he has to subtly set his plate away when the mere thought of eating is enough to make him nauseous.

It’s going to be okay, he tells himself. A quiet mantra he repeats when the memory comes crashing down again. We’re okay, it’s just a small fight. A rough patch that a conversation can solve. It’ll all be fine, he thinks. Clinging to hope and ignoring the suspicion that it’s more anxiety and fear than hope.

Sirius listens to bits and pieces of the conversation, holding back a relieved exhale when it drifts away to day to day activities between May and Effie and how things are going at the hospital. Mundane things, topics they don’t expect Sirius to participate in and a quiet breathing moment for him to, selfishly, think back about that night.

He’s not blind. He knows the kind of shit Junior hides from him, the weapons and the meetings and the escapades in the middle of the night—he’s well aware that his boyfriend’s life is more than meets the eye. He’d be stupid to say he doesn’t know. But, additionally, he knows the real reason behind that tumultuous life his friends have warned him about. How could they know? When they haven’t seen Junior return after a meeting and not being able to meet his eye, when they haven’t held him close until he cries himself to sleep. They can’t know, so they judge and point fingers even if they don’t have the full picture.

When the conversation drifts back to your busy activities and the reason you couldn’t come back home with James and Sirius, a sudden and sharp indignation washes over him. How dare you and Remus come and try to warn him about who he’s involved with when neither of you are better off? When you run around trying to chase danger in the form of Spidergirl just for a couple of quid you’re well aware you can find covering other types of stories? When Remus doesn’t try to step back from letting this masked vigilante woo him and follow him home? And when Remus himself was in his position years ago with Regulus? When he’d hold back tears and pretend he was okay seeing Regulus slip out of their flat late at night knowing the kinds of things he was involved with?

How fucking dare he? Sirius thinks bitterly.

He looks away, jaw clenched tight as he sips at his iced tea and finds the ice mostly melted, watered down and lacking the real sweet flavour he chose it for.

A voice reaches through the static, quiet and gentle like the hand that cups his face. “…Sirius?”

“Yeah? Sorry, I, uh…” he clears his throat, moving his head in the faintest of shakes before turning to Effie. “I didn’t sleep that well. It’s catching up, I think.”

She frowns. “You didn’t? Why didn’t you say?”

“It’s fine. I’ll sleep better tonight,” he smiles. “Must be the nerves.”

“Oh, that’s totally normal, my love,” Effie smiles, softer than soft and understanding as always. “Showcasing your talent in front of a big audience like the one from the uni is no easy feat. But I’m sure you will do beautifully.”

“I personally can’t wait to see more of your acting, honey,” May nods. “I still can’t quite get enough of your… uh, what was the character you played in the end of year musical?”

“Enjolras,” him and James answer nearly at the same time.

“Ah, that!” May claps, smiling wide. Then, nostalgic as she presses a hand to her chest. “Quite tragic, too.”

“Oh, May. Then you’re definitely not prepared for his Orpheus,” James adds, making a point of flashing Sirius a reassuring grin. “We all cried when he first ran lines with us, remember?”

“Yeah,” he pushes out a light chuckle, hoping it’s enough to ease the feeling lodged inside his chest. “Yeah, y/n wouldn’t stop crying. I thought she was going to pass out.”

“y/n? The same girl who cried when we moved to this house?“

“In her defense,” James raises a finger. “Sirius forgot to disclose important information that we would just move across the street.”

“I didn’t think she’d get so wound up about it!”

“Oh, and don’t forget about the Little Mermaid opening credits,” Effie adds, voice laced with fondness as they all chuckle at your sensitive nature. “Or, well… any film, really…”

Laughter echoes around the table, louder and a bit easier to let out as Sirius settles back on his chair. His folded arms loosen just a smidge, enough to relax and enjoy the rest of brunch. Enough to smile and joke with James about childhood memories and blush and look away when either Effie or May gush about his own achievements or Junior. It all passes in a blur, between conversations and dissociative memories.

It isn’t until later, when May has excused herself from brunch with the reminder of seeing each other in a few days for Sirius’ opening night, and when Effie goes out to stock up on groceries and Monty returns from his job but immediately excuses himself to rest until dinner, that James nudges Sirius’ shoulder and juts his chin towards the front door. A six pack in his hands that is enough to lure him out of the house and deep into the neighborhood towards the park.

The sky is tinted in pinks and oranges when they settle on the top of the climbing dome, legs pulled in and hooked around the metals to stay comfortable. James takes two cans and expertly opens each, handing the coldest one to Sirius and sharing knowing smiles when they clink them together.

James looks around, leaning back over his arm as he sips at his beer. “It’s weird, isn’t it?” he muses out loud, staring out at the open skies. “Being back home without y/n, I mean.”

Sirius makes an amused sound, between agreement and something else. He sips at his own beer, finger tracing the figures around it as he thinks. “Why didn’t you tell me about her and Remus?” he eventually asks, instead of answering to James' not so subtle attempt to break the tension.

James sighs, but doesn’t back down. He sends him a look. “And why didn’t you tell me that Junior’s going to your opening night?”

“How long have you known?”

“What? About y/n and Remus?” he frowns, pushing himself to sit up to fix his glasses. “Sirius… please, don’t act like it wasn’t obvious.”

“I mean… I had my suspicions but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to… jump to conclusions,” he shrugs, looking away when James’ gaze begins turning a tad too… knowing. It makes his skin crawl and his heart brace. Sirius clears his throat, toying with his beer’s pull tab. “But I s’pose that’s on me. For not paying attention.”

“They’re still testing things out.”

Sirius scoffs. “What’s there to test out?” he looks up, face pensive as he stares out at the stretch of grass in front of them. “She’s been in love with Moony since you introduced them, and Remus… well, it was only a matter of time. What could they possibly need to test?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Not easy? Please.”

“Sirius—”

“How I see it, it’s the easiest fucking thing in the world. They love each other, what’s there to doubt?”

James draws out a long sigh, looking around the park, too. Sirius’ heart, once again, braces for impact. “Why do I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me?”

“Me?” Sirius asks, forcing levity into his tone as he sips at his beer. “What could I possibly hide from you when we live together?”

“Not as of lately, no.”

He throws his head back, groaning. “I knew it,” he mutters. “I knew where this was going.”

“Sirius—”

“You, and everyone will be happy to know that there won’t be anything to worry about. Fucking ecstatic, I’m sure.”

“What?”

Sirius won’t be deterred. “Save it, I already know what you’ll say, that you knew it and how many times you told me and—”

James shakes his head, blinking rapidly. “What the hell are you talking about?”

He pauses, head whipping to meet James’ gaze. “Isn’t that why you made me come here? To talk about Junior?”

“I… no?”

“James.”

“Well, not exactly. I was just going to ask you how things were. Catch up, if you will.”

“Oh, please. Save it, I know you, James Potter. And I know you can’t lie for shit,” he crushes the can with the heels of his hands. Immediately twisting to take a brand new one. “I just know you orchestrated this whole little weekend getaway to get me alone and beg me to leave Junior.”

“Sirius—”

“So let me pull the brakes on this… this quest, and set the record straight that Junior might have already beat you lot to it.”

It takes an embarrassingly long beat of silence for James to understand what he means, can paused mid air as he frowns back at Sirius.

“You broke up?”

Sirius sucks in a breath, looking down at his beer and fiddling with the pull tab again. “I don’t know,” he confesses quietly. “I think so?”

“What makes you think so, if you’re not sure?”

“I…” he swallows thickly, brushing his hair away. “I s’pose it was because we had a fight. A big one.”

James’ heart clenches with dread. “A fight?” he bends slightly to the side, trying to catch Sirius’ gaze and studying him in the process. Like assessing him for visible injuries.

He groans, a frustrated and wet sound. “There you go again, doing that!”

“I’m not doing anything!” he argues, but his eyes still flicker up and down.

Sirius points at him. “That! That look!” his voice catches. “Like you’re… For fuck’s sake, James—do you seriously think Junior would hurt me?”

“What? Stop putting words in my mouth.”

“You didn’t have to say anything, I can see it on your face. Everyone’s faces, actually!” his voice raises, cracking with the weight of his pain. “Don’t you think I’ve seen the way you look at me when I’m with him? Like I’m made of glass?”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“Do I, James?” he looks away, then up to the sky like he’s holding back tears. “How can I not think that when that’s all I’ve been hearing every fucking time I bring up Junior? None of you even stopped to ask if I’m happy, or if I love him or—”

“Because we never had to doubt that. That’s not what we’re worried about,” James cuts him off, voice firm and unlike any other days when this conversation was brought up. “Everyone could tell how happy you were, which was quite frankly the most worrying part. How happy you were—or are, whatever—and how quickly that could change when spending too much time with Junior.”

“And how could you possibly know that? When you haven't even given him the grace to get to know him properly?”

“What’s there to get to know? He’s dangerous, Sirius. Too dangerous and honestly, it’s fucking terrifying seeing you so blinded by his lies to actually see it.”

Sirius scoffs, a wet sound that makes James’ heart twist painfully.

He exhales sharply, running a hand over his hair and then his mouth. Like he’s visibly debating if he should continue or save his words. James drops his hand, looking away. “I wasn’t going to tell you this but,” he fixes his glasses. “Did you know he went searching for y/n?”

“…y/n?” Sirius blinks, momentarily stunned by the change of topic. “What for?”

James looks back at him, making a point of holding his gaze. “He asked her what she knew about Spidergirl, about her gig covering her stories for the paper,” he explains. Then, sucks in a breath. “And you know what he did?”

“What?”

“He threatened her, told her everything he knew about May and where she lives, about me, too,” James’ voice catches, too. An edge that Sirius hadn’t heard in ages. “He fucking threatened her for information, Sirius. Don’t you realize how fucked up that is?”

Sirius holds his gaze, eyes hardening the more the silence stretches. “No.”

“Sirius—”

“No.” He shakes his head, crushing the beer in his palms and standing. “No, you’re lying.”

“Why would I lie about that?” James stands, too. Instinctively reaching out when Sirius’ feet wobble as he climbs down the dome. He sighs, following after him. “You think I’m too cruel to joke about that?”

“No,” Sirius still says. Sounding less certain as he paces around. “No, that can’t be true because—fuck, why didn’t y/n say anything?!”

“And what could she say to you?” James rubs a hand over his forehead. “What could she say that wouldn’t get this exact reaction out of you?”

“I could’ve talked to him!”

“And say what!? Say what?”

“I… I could’ve—I…” he falters, shoulders drooping and face buried in his palms. “No.”

James sighs. “Sirius—”

“No, this can’t be happening—you…”

He takes a step forward, feeling mildly surprised when Sirius nearly jerks backwards in his need to get away. James looks around. “Sirius, please. Just… listen to what I have to say—”

“And I don’t want to hear it!” he runs a hand through his hair again, each time harsher than the previous one. He shakes his head. “This can’t be happening. He wouldn’t…”

“Yes, he would. If it comes down to trying to get the job done—”

Sirius pauses. “What job?”

“What other job could it be? Whatever shit his dad asked him to do!”

The accusation lands sudden and loud enough that something primal switches inside of Sirius. He halts, turning around with such intensity James blinks in surprise. “Don’t you dare,” he snaps, grey eyes hardening once again. “Don’t you dare talk about things you don’t know anything about.”

James throws his head back, hands at his face as he gathers both his patience and wits to continue with this conversation. “Sirius—”

”No. You have no idea of what you’re talking about. How dare you throw accusations at him when you don’t know half the shit he has to endure from that man?!”

“And how dare you defend him when I just told you he went and threatened your friend?!”

“Because there must be an explanation!”

“And what that explanation would be, Sirius? Open your eyes, that man is dangerous!”

Sirius scoffs, sounding more furious as the conversation gets more heated. “Oh, give me a break,” he shakes his head. “How do I not know this isn’t some elaborate ploy you and y/n orchestrated to get me away from Junior? How do you not know y/n invented that to get you on her side about him?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

“Because if we want to believe someone, y/n is the least trusting person we know.” Sirius goes on, voice sounding a tad bitter as he continues pacing. “When all she does is lie. Lie where she is, lie how she got those burns in her hands, using the theater department to slip away to cover that bloody Spidergirl. She does nothing but lie!”

Each sentence grows in both volume and venom, louder and louder until James can’t physically take it any more. “Sirius!” he nearly shouts, and immediately recoils in regret when Sirius flinches. “Fuck, sorry. So sorry, it’s just…” he looks down, then around the park. “Are you listening to yourself? To what you’re saying?”

Sirius exhales sharply, still knee deep in his head. Chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

James shakes his head. “You just called y/n a liar, that she made up that threat for… for what, exactly?” he goes on, trying to gentle his tone. It proves to be a difficult task when Sirius shakes his head again. “What could she get off lying about Junior, Sirius?”

“I…”

“No. Stop for a second and actually think about it,” James says, firmer but not unkind. Obviously changing his approach. “Would y/n actually do that?”

“James…”

“Exactly. You can’t, because that’s not how she is. And this isn’t how you are, either.” He dares take a step closer. “All these things you’re saying, how you’re acting right now? This isn’t you, Sirius.”

Sirius looks down, blinking rapidly and letting his fair fall to his face in an attempt to cover his glistening cheeks. It’d be a noble effort if his shoulders didn’t shake the way they do, fists clenched tight in his desperation to keep his desperation contained.

“No,” he says, quieter. “No, this can’t be happening.”

James’ heart cracks again. “I’m sorry,” he takes another step closer. “I’m really sorry, Pads.”

“Regulus said… he said…” he sniffles. “He warned me about this, about the isolation and feeling left out because…” a pause. “Because of Junior.”

“He did?”

Sirius only nods mutely, throat constricting and lips quivering. He runs a hand over his face, an attempt at subtlety as he cleans his tears. Of course, it goes down the drain when a sob escapes him. “He told me this would happen, and I… this can’t be true. He loves me, James. He…”

“He probably does, but…” James hesitates. “But sometimes that isn’t enough.”

His sincerity is enough to make the knot in Sirius’ chest come undone. Another sobs escapes him, shredding its way up his throat and letting more come when James wraps his arms around him in a tight hug.

“It has to be,” he whispers, voice wavering with the weight of his pleas. His desperation that this is still just a rough patch, something they can talk about when he returns. “He can change, he can… I can talk to him, make him walk away and—”

“And what, Sirius?” James asks, gentling his tone when Sirius’ back shakes. “I don’t think this is something he can just walk away from.”

Sirius looks away, tilting his head until his damp cheek rests on James’ shoulder. “No, it’s not. His father…” he sniffles. “And the people he works for. I think… they wouldn’t let him.”

There’s a stretch of silence where James doesn’t speak, but his hand continues running up and down Sirius’ back in a grounding manner. “Do you know about that?”

“Yeah.”

Like he’s learned his lesson, James’ tone softens even more before speaking. “And you still stayed?”

“He stayed, too, James.”

“What?”

Sirius steps back, still sniffling but the tears have stopped, thankfully. “He still stayed with me after everything. When I told him everything about… well, about back home and Regulus. He listened and still chose to stay.” His face twists in heartbreak again. “That has to count for something, right?”

“Oh, Pads…” James whispers when another sobs leaves Sirius’ lips, arms guiding him back for a hug.

They stay that way for a while, even when the moon comes out and the lights of the park flicker on. When the breeze turns colder and James’ phone buzzes with calls from both Effie and Monty, wondering where they’ve gone off to and if they can stop by the corner shop for dessert on their way back. James answers an elaborate excuse that they walked a bit too far from home in hopes that the time is enough for Sirius to get himself together.

When they return, the house is as warm as ever, smelling suspiciously like Sirius’ childhood comfort food and Monty’s turntable playing a soft jazz record that makes their home as welcome as it always is. They sit around the table and catch up about brunch, Sirius gets asked about the play and Effie immediately understands the reason behind his faint red-rimmed eyes when he dodges Monty’s question about his mysterious handsome boyfriend.

Sirius tries to explain the lodged feeling in his chest he thought dissipated after his talk with James, but it grows and grows the more the night stretches. He tries to distract himself by helping tidy the kitchen and put everything away. Then he goes outside and shares a quick smoke with Monty and humors him when he asks him to act him a small snippet of the play. Effie listens from the sitting room and follows the sound of his voice out the front door, then James follows and they all share a quiet moment by the porch before heading upstairs to sleep.

Effie kisses his cheeks and cups his face in her hands by the bannister before climbing up the stairs. Monty sets a hand on his shoulder and drops a kiss to the crown of his head on his way up, then James nods and nudges his side in a flimsy attempt to make him laugh. Though it sounds forced and weak even to his own ears. Sirius lowers the lights and follows after them up the stairs, each step heavier and heavier like his heart inside his chest. A bad omen for yet another night of tossing and turning since he arrived.

His suspicions are proven true, and his pleas are answered, when he connects his phone to the charger and it turns on. When the first thing that pops up is a text from Junior that reaches across the screen and squeezes his heart.

BCJ: I’m really sorry for lashing out handsome. Idk what got over me

BCJ: Actually i do know. I was scared cos I thought you were leaving me

BCJ: but that’s no excuse for how I yelled at you. I’m really sorry

BCJ: I miss you

BCJ: can we talk?

BCJ: please come back

Sirius swallows thickly, looking around the room and knowing his heart has made a decision. One that he knows, deep down, doesn’t exactly match to the one in his mind.

SB: I’m sorry too.

SB: I’m on my way.

｡𖦹°‧

Sirius wakes with a warm and fuzzy feeling blossoming in his chest, one he had been craving and mentally scolding himself for chasing all these days away from Junior. He sighs blissfully, rolling over to reach for him across the bed and finding his spot empty. The curtains are half pulled open, letting in a small flicker of light into the room and falling directly on his eyes.

He rolls a bit more until he’s by the edge, patting down the ground for his trousers in hopes of finding his phone. It’s still early, he doesn’t think either James or Effie have found his note, but there’s nothing wrong with checking in. Just in case.

When he doesn’t find it, he groans quietly and pushes himself to sit. He looks around the entanglement of sheets and things around Junior’s room, his own weekender bag sits by the window half opened and a mess of clothes—he walks towards it hoping to find it there. There’s no rush, anyway.

He makes the bed and picks a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. He feels like floating through air and each of his sighs is as quiet and delighted as the previous one. He steps out of the shower feeling positively more in love than ever and with enough resolve to find Junior to talk about everything. To fix things between them and the rest of the issues hanging over their relationship, he will find a way to get through him. After the night they had and the sweet nothings they whispered to each other, there’s no doubt in his mind that this is something that can still be salvaged.

“Junior?” he asks, voice echoing down the hallway as he steps out of the room.

The flat is empty and a bit cold, exactly like he found it when got in last night. The blanket is haphazardly thrown over the couch exactly like Junior left it when he realized who was at the door, their mismatched cups in an attempt at conversation that lasted approximately two minutes and one quick look down to each other’s lips. There’s the faint smell of coffee coming from the kitchen, so Sirius starts there.

There are two cups set out, one half drunk and the other still pitch black like Junior wanted to wait until he was awake to prepare it. Sirius smiles to himself and gets started on it, humming to himself and moving around the kitchen with all the familiarity of their months-long relationship. It’s in this routine that he doesn’t stop to wonder where Junior is, he’s also learned to not ask questions. They’ll talk again later, anyway. He’s got time. Opening night isn’t until tomorrow and they can get a day for themselves before Sirius has to be up early to head out to the theater to prepare.

He smiles into the rim of his cup as he thinks about opening night, at the hopeful feeling that maybe… if things are truly better, he can actually introduce Junior to his parents, to May and everyone so they can see exactly what he sees. It’s in this giddy feeling that he remembers he’s supposed to be looking for his phone, hoping that maybe he can run his lines again while he waits for Junior to arrive.

There’s not much to clean or tidy as he moves along the sitting room in search of his phone. He has half the mind to check down the hall for Regulus if he perhaps has seen it, but a few knocks indicate that he’s out, too. They’re probably together. Sirius shakes his head when the voice comes back, interrupting his blissful morning with the memories of his chat with James. It doesn’t matter now, because he’ll get to the bottom of it and fix everything. Maybe even get Junior to apologize to you if he plays his cards right, if he finds the right approach.

He’s trying to work around the blinds when he spots Junior’s car parked outside. Exactly like it was last night, like he hasn’t moved it at all. That’s strange. He’s probably out on one of his walks, he reminds himself. The kinds he leaves to when he’s overwhelmed after a fight, or, well, a make-up in this case. He’ll be back soon, Sirius thinks.

In the meantime, he tries to practice some more for tomorrow. He shouldn’t need his phone to read his lines, anyway. And he’s more than ready by now,

so it’s mostly a waste of time to distract himself. Even when an hour passes and Junior doesn’t return, and still can’t find his phone to try and reach for him.

Sirius sighs, slumping down on the couch and looking around the place. There’s nothing left to do, and he can’t leave because he doesn’t have keys to lock the house. So, for now, it’s just him and his thoughts. A deadly combination.

Or that’s what he thinks.

It takes him a bit to notice it, too into his head to hear it at first. A faint tinkling that, eventually, morphs into steps that echo deep from the hallway. Almost like pacing. Sirius frowns, tilting his chin up towards the front door and hoping it opens. But nothing happens, and the sound continues, redirecting him to the other side of the hallway. To Regulus’ room.

Even when he knows he shouldn’t, just like he knows he must keep his questions to himself, Sirius stands and follows the sound. He stops by the door, hesitating the same way his courage fades. But then, shadows move from under the sliver of light and he exhales in relief.

He knocks. “Reg? Why didn’t you say you were home?”

The steps pause, and Sirius steps back, waiting for Regulus to open the door. But he doesn’t.

“Reg?” he tries again, frowning. “Hello? Can I come in?”

He waits for an answer that simply doesn’t come, and Sirius tries to push down the voice yet again. James’ voice, yours, Remus’ and even his own brother’s voice as he turns the knob and opens the door. Bracing for…

Nothing, really.

His brows knit together in confusion, venturing deeper into the room and wondering what is the sound he heard if Regulus clearly isn’t home. And by the looks of his bed, he hasn’t been home for a while.

“What the—” he starts to say, but pauses when the sound continues faintly from across the room. His walk-in closet specifically. Sirius groans as he starts towards it. “Really? You’re hiding from me now? What, are you twelve again?”

Whatever answer he expects from Regulus doesn’t come, for what he finds is far more confusing and sinister to what he ever thought. His heart stutters when he comes face to face with a room instead of a closet, a meeting room that is large enough to occupy Regulus, Junior and a few other men. Behind them, on the walls, an elaborate investigation board with various shots and photographs of… people he knows. People he loves.

You at the very center, next to a picture of Spidergirl. Surrounded by pages and strange photographs of insects and spiders. Around you, there are shots of you and Remus out walking, holding hands and stepping in and out of his flat. Then, of James and you walking and talking around campus and outside the city. You by the theater and even a few pictures where you’re talking with Sirius himself. But the ones that make his heart pause and his stomach to drop are the ones that prove all his suspicions and James’ words true—photographs of your family, of May and your dead uncle, your childhood home and your friends. Of Remus and his flat, and, most importantly, of Remus and his own family history by your side.

He tries to speak, but finds the words dying in his throat when his eyes flicker from the board to Junior.

The man sitting at the very end of the table stands. “Ah, there you are.” He runs a hand over his dress shirt. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever show up, or connect the dots.”

Sirius forces his gaze away from Junior. “What?”

“Allow me to introduce myself. I’m—”

”You’re Tom Riddle,” he finishes off, voice catching with realization and dread all at once. “You…”

Riddle chuckles, turning to lean over the edge of the table. “Oh, so you do know me. Well, that makes things a tad easier for us, doesn’t he, Regulus?”

Sirius’ throat constricts in panic when he turns to his brother. “Reg?” he whispers. “What… what’s all this?”

Regulus looks down at his hands, unable to meet his eyes. Riddle only clicks his tongue. “Isn’t it obvious?” he points around the room. “Or didn’t Barty explain what we do here?”

“What you do—what?”

He’s waved off. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” he juts his chin at him, like an order. Movement picks up behind him, and the doors close. Sirius instinctively takes a step back, but collides with a strong surface instead. Riddle hums, trying to sound reassuring when an arm curls around his shoulders and another holds onto his arm, caging him in. “It’s okay. You’ll find out soon enough.”

Before Sirius can ask, everything turns black.

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