okay op, i think you might be onto something here.. i just went and rewatched this part of the episode and i kinda realized something.. here’s how the scene goes after the gif you posted above:
i feel like we overanalyzed every aspect and moment from the confession scene itself but not what happened before. from my perspective, here’s what’s going on. dean starts to move to get closer to cas. this is the moment he realizes that they can’t get out alive of this one. his line really got me…. he says: she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me.. as in: he’s afraid of having to watch billie kill castiel in front of him. the way the line was structured was what really got me. dean knows castiel is gonna die first, because he knows castiel will die trying to protect him. and he doesn’t want that to happen, he doesn’t want to see that. he doesn’t want to see castiel, the man he loves, die protecting him once again. you can clearly see that on jensen’s face, dean is freaking terrified. and he’s also feeling like a failure because the entire plan fell through the cracks and everyone’s gonna die and it’s his fault. this is like, the moment he realizes that there’s no way out of this one. it’s over, end of the line.
the next moment, we’re back to castiel and the beginning of the confession scene.. one thing tho, the moment the camera pans back to dean??? you can clearly see that dean’s kinda lost on his thoughts, really thinking about something.. in my opinion? i think if castiel hadn’t started talking about the empty deal a.k.a the confession, i feel like dean was thinking about doing something… dare to say, confess his feelings for castiel?? like, bear with me. this was really The Moment™ dean realizes they’re both about to die, there’s no way out of this one, so why the hell not? what does he have to loose??? and it’s also a perfect explanation to why dean moves closer to castiel!!!! he wants to be closer to him, since this is their last moment together!!!
anyways.. next we go back to castiel starting to talk about the empty deal. the camera once again goes back to dean.. this time tho??? sorry, i really had to gif it because dean goes through an entire face journey and screencaps can’t do it justice:
dare to say…. what the fuck does this face journey even means???? at first, you can see dean’s still lost on his thoughts, but then a second passes, his mind finally processes what cas is saying, and you can clearly see him trying to compose himself. in his mind, i think it went something like this: wait a second.. there’s still a way to get out of this. i can’t do this right now. i can’t confess to cas. we need to get out of this alive. think about doing this after this is all over.
which kinda hurts, because after this face journey? it’s the moment castiel starts talking about the empty deal and the consequence of it: his life. dean’s shocked by this, he can’t believe it, he can’t process this information, that he’s going to lose the man he loves again. and that’s why dean’s next line makes so much sense.. this is what he says:
this is the moment he understands castiel is about to sacrifice himself to save him. but we know he wanted to say something. that’s why he says “why are you telling me this now”, it means, why took you so long to start this conversation??? heck, we knew he wanted to say something to cas since 15x09, during the purgatory prayer scene, but we know castiel stopped him. he couldn’t speak his truth there. castiel stopped him here once again. like, right now i truly believe dean was going to confess first (heck, he didn’t had anything to lose up until the moment castiel said they still got a chance) and now the confession scene is hurting even more to me..
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