Jesus is at it again.
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$LAYYYTER

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KIROKAZE
todays bird
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JVL
will byers stan first human second
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@amusedmusemusing-blog
Jesus is at it again.
ruisseler (v) - to flow, run, drip
luire (v) - to shine, gleam, glowÂ
Ă©tinceler (v) - to sparkle, shine, gleamÂ
rougeoyer (v) - to glowÂ
Ă©blouir (v) - to dazzle, impressÂ
scintiller (v) - to sparkle, twinkle, shineÂ
Ă©clore (v) - to bloomÂ
tourbillonner (v) - to whirl, swirlÂ
fredonner (v) - to humÂ
Ă©parpiller (v) - to scatter, strewÂ
Ă©clairer (v) - to illuminate, shineÂ
onduler (v) - to ripple
Millipede and centipede. [1111comics]
Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress.
Like not once did she say âI want a prince to come and rescue me from my situation.â
She just wanted to look cute and turn the fuck up at the party.
(via sighes)
the best kind of dog honestlyâ
alright im happy now
Lol so my dog
Historian: Shh! Arcanist: Shh! Historian: Shh!
I hired job-o-tron as a second assistant for my travels across Tyria. He doesnât seem to be getting along very well with my faithful val-a-golem thoughâŠo_0
THE LEGENDARY STORY OF THE TROJAN HORSE DOES NOT INVOLVE THE GREEKS GIVING THE HORSE TO THE TROJANS AS A GIFT. THE GREEKSâ DECEPTION WAS ACTUALLY THAT THEY LEFT THE HORSE AS AN OFFERING TO THE GODDESS ATHENA.Â
IN THE LEGEND, THEY BASICALLY SENT SOMEONE TO TROY TO SAY âTHIS HORSE IS FOR ATHENA, NOT YOU, SO OUR RETREAT BACK TO GREECE IS SAFE. DONâT TRY TO TAKE IT. IT WONâT FIT THROUGH THE GATES OF YOUR CITY, SO THEREâS NO WAY YOU DICKS CAN STEAL IT AND PRETEND YOU GOT IT FOR ATHENA. NOT FOR TROJANS.â
AND THEN TROY WAS LIKE âYOUâRE NOT OUR DAD. WE WON THIS WAR AND WEâRE TAKING YOUR STUPID HORSE AS A TROPHY SO WEâLL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW BAD GREECE IS AT DESTROYING TROY.âÂ
AND A FEW TROJANS WERE LIKE âTHIS IS A TRICKâ AND TRIED TO EXPOSE IT AS A TRICK BUT THE REST OF THE TROJANS WOULD HAVE NONE OF IT BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS SWEPT UP IN THE THRILL OF VICTORY, AND ALSO BECAUSE THE GODS KEPT SENDING SNAKES TO STRANGLE ANYONE WHO SAID ANYTHING, BECAUSE THE GREEK GODS HAD NO WORD FOR âSUBTLETYâ
THEN AT NIGHT ALL THE GREEKS JUMPED OUT OF THE HORSE LIKE âWE TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE THE HORSE, WHY ARE YOU SUCH PRIDEFUL DICKSâ AND BURNED DOWN THE WHOLE CITY
President Barack Obama at the White House Correpondentsâ Dinner.Â
OBAMA HAS TOTALLY STOPPED GIVING A FUCK AND ITâS THE GREATEST THING IâVE EVER SEEN
this shit was brutal
If he wasnât the President he would make a killer stand-up comedian
The proudest I have ever been of a hand of Cards Against Humanity
Imagine GLaDOS as a GPS though
"Turn left. You monster." âOh, you missed your turn. Thatâs alright. Itâs not like I gave you an advanced warning or anything. Oh wait. I did. Three of them.â âNow I have to recalculate the entire route. Again. By myself.â âCongratulations. Youâve gotten us so lost even I donât know where we are.â *slow clap*
HEREâS THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello youâd get connected to them, so I just launch right into my âHarvard University and NPR blah blah blahâ thing and then thereâs this long pause and I think the personâs hung up even though I didnât hear a click
And then I hear âyou shouldnât be able to call this number.â
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we arenât selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
"No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it."
I explain that itâs randomly generated and Iâm very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
"Maâam, this is a matter of national security."
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
im laughing so hard like korras generation thinks they have it so bad theyre so bitter about their avatar disappearing for 3 years when AANG DISAPPEARED FOR 100 YEARSÂ
youâre a true hundred year war kid if you remember
hello new dashboard.
The majestic Dumbo Octopus (x)
This is the cutest thing Iâve ever seen
I WANT 3.
The moment when you see your crush online and you start to put some random dramatic shit on so heâll maybe at least notice you and if you get lucky heâll message you. but it never fucking happens
(via ewwitsgeorge)
Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.
Sylvia Plath (via myrisingvoice)
oh my god she is a fucking boss
(via glowist)