The Tired King @amynhotep - Tumblr Blog

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surprise-adoption

Bottle rocket under ice

overtheunderpass

rad

edwardspoonhands

I’m pretty sure that the reason the ice fractured into six slices is the same reason snowflakes are often six sided and it has to do with the shape of a molecule of water and I just think that’s so freaking cool.

opulene-archive

How would it even stay lit though?

orangejuiceaholic-deactivated20

!!!!! it IS actually because of the structure of water molecules! Water molecules are fuckin weird, as are lots of other liquid substance molecules, because theyre shaped like fuckin HEXAGONS! hexagons are those weird, six-sided shapes that re very sturdy, but they dont tend to sit very well when stacked together. thats why, when you fill up a glass of water to its full capacity, it can go OVER the brim a little and not spill over. It’s also why water beads.

anyway, so since water is essentially made up of a gazillion little hexagons, it tends to gather into larger hexagons as it shapes together. this is not visible unless the water is in a solid form, aka ice. when the water is split, it tends to crack around the established hexagons. that bottle rocket exploded in the PERFECT place to show this phenomenon and its geeking me out.

ALSO! the bottle rocket stays lit because the fuse was definitely waterproof and made with magnesium and an oxidizer of some sort. this means that they will burn underwater because they dont need the oxygen from the air to stay lit. thats so fucking weird isnt it. im tipsy and its the 4th of july. sorry for the science haha

inside-us-only-stars

Don’t you dare apologize for science

women's shampoos be like: coconut; honey/milk; rose; tropical fruits; aloe vera

men's shampoos be like: ARCTIC ICE; DARKNESS; GUNS; TESTOSTERONE; PAIN

imageof1love

pornsthenorm

Put her in a movie. Now

arbormistress

Kick my ass please

altonzm-deactivated20170213

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

thirdtimecharmed

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

svynakee

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.

orriculum

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

digitalfare

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

jamesandlilys

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

monsterhighalumni

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

wereyoulookingforsomething-deac

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

moldychesee

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

dixon-arrows-deactivated2018052

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

beckyhop

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

visionssofgideon

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl

onceuponamirror

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.

jumpingjacktrash

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

piedude

Irish recipes:

so-i-did-this-thing

Here it is, the sexiest thing I could think of dressing up as for Halloween.

sanityisonliamatterofperception

Where is the male version of this

so-i-did-this-thing

I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION

scrapnick

In 2018 we’re being nice to actors and that’s final

saltwaffle

gonna sound like some kyle stan here but this especially goes as hollywood begans casting less “typical” faces, even among white men. i have a friend who has a large nose exactly like adam driver, and it has done wonders to her confidence to see people saying he’s hot — maybe i don’t like the character or even the actor but by NO means am i going to shit on his appearance. its such a tiny thing, but it IS a step towards dismantling the standards of conventional beauty.

cursedtdposts

If you blacklisted billdip you can still find it on Deviantart, twitter, fanfiction, Google search,ect.

The same goes for hidashi, elsanna, mabill, stancest, pinecest, pewey, stevidot, ponnie, and every other bad ship in existence. The only way to stop seeing it is to make the creators stop.

So shippers, NO WE WON’T IGNORE IT BECAUSE IT CAN’T BE IGNORED.

God, do you know how the internet works? If you want people to stop criticizing you and your ships…just stop shipping it!

Especially if it’s because your ships is:

1. Abusive 2. Incestious 3. Homophobic/Transphobic 4. Pedophilia 5. Too unhealthy to work

Welcome to the real world, if you keep doing something as making content (especially porn) for these unhealthy and bad ships then you deserve your fee fees hurt.

At least you weren’t abused, or raped by an adult and relative and have to sit in silence as people romanticize that shit.

pro-survivors

@ anon, case in point.

snootch

“Welcome to the real world”

Its 8:07am on a bright autumn Monday morning. Your weekend was nice, but not nearly as long. It never is. You hold your briefcase between your arm and your side to free both hands to adjust your tie as you exit the lift onto your floor. You’re just sitting down at your cubicle when you spot your boss coming in through the glass double doors of your accounting department. You worry he’s about to issue another education for being late. You’re one away from a write-up.

Your hands are numb with anxiety, but as he draws nearer to your cubicle, you see tears streaming down his face. He slams his hands down on your desk.

“I found your DeviantART Johnson! How dare you post that drawing of Pearl and Mayor Dewey kissing!” He stands up straight, addressing everyone in the office. “That’s it, everyone in the conference room, we’re having a sensitivity training meeting.”

Your department files into the conference room where your boss already has a powerpoint presentation projected onto the whiteboard beside marker outlining 2017 project goals for this year’s department budget. On one side of the board is a drawing of Stanley and Standord Pines cuddling in bed. On the other side, Tweek and Craig from South Park sharing a tender anime kiss.

“I almost couldn’t come into work because of this garbage!” Your boss says, his voice cracking. “This is… incest… and child porn… I’ve never been more disgustes in my life.”

“Shouldn’t we be focusing on the deadline today for-”

“SHUT YOUR PEDO MOUTH NANCY I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE DEFENDING THIS.” He pauses, convulsing in sobs. Once he’s composed himself, he clicks to the next slide where there’s a picture of Steven and Peridot drawn kissing each other’s cheeks. It looks as though it was made on mspaint.

“Do you not understand these are CHILDREN? I’m horrified Johnson. I took this one off your deviantart-.”

“My kids really like Steven Unive-”

“I’VE ALREADY CALLED THE POLICE. PLEASE COLLECT YOUR STUFF YOU’RE FIRED.” Your boss has curled up on the floor, sobbing. His assistant, Janice, is kneeling beside him glaring at you.

“Its 2017 people, welcome to the real world.”

pro-survivors

I’m crying

fiction-is-not-reality

Where is the next chapter

very-merry-sioux

(is this ok, it turned out more serious than I thought)

It’s Saturday, you’re meeting up with a friend in your favorite cafe. She sends you a message that she’ll be horribly late because of traffic, you reply that it’s not a problem.

You bring out your sketchbook and begin to draw. You start out a rough sketch with a pencil. It’s the two characters you really like together in that show that you’ve recently watched.

After a while, you stretch your arms and decide to order another cup of tea and maybe a snack to eat.

The girl behind the counter doesn’t look happy, but you pay no mind. Maybe she’s had a bad day, maybe her rent is due and she doesn’t have the money, maybe someone she loves recently died. You hope her day gets better, you think you might give her an extra tip to make her smile.

You choose the chocolate chip cookie and a chai tea latte. You go back to your seat and continue sketching.

Skritch.

The tea is warm enough to drink so you take a sip. You look at your final sketch and think about the colors you can paint on it later. Maybe red to make it festive. It’s almost the end of December, but it wouldn’t hurt to make a holiday themes artwork.

You’re cut off from your musings when the girl from the counter slaps her hands on your table.

“… Can I help you?” You ask.

The girl mumbles.

You tilt your head. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

The girl slams her hands again, harder this time. “PEDOPHILE!” She screeches, slamming her hands again. “I’ve been watching you draw that filth, you disgusting pedo!”

You edge away, a little scared. “I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re-”

“THIS!” She grabs your sketch pad and shoves it so hard to your face that you reel back. It is the thing you were sketching. “Why would you make something like this?!” She shakes it furiously. “It’s toxic!”

“I-It’s just a doodle I ma-”

“You’re normalizing unhealthy relationships!” She screams. “You-! You-!” She lunges at you and grabs your bag and phone. Your tea and cookie fall to the floor. The cup and plate shatters, the tea is spilled.

“What are you doing?” You ask, horrified. You try to get your stuff back but she’s faster than you. She dodges and laughs. “Give those back!”

“I’ll find out where you live,” she smiles, it’s not a nice smile. “Then I can report you and you’ll be punished like you deserve.”

“I’m just drawing to pass the time!” You chase her, but she’s still faster. “I’m not bothering anyone! It’s just fanart for a show I like!”

“It’s not just fanart,” she sneers, tapping something on your phone. “People could be hurt because of disgusting shippers like you.”

“Who?!”

You get no answer, only a laugh and a proud grin. “I shared your address to my friends, now they’ll know what to do.”

Do what? You wail in your mind, not liking the look in the girl’s eyes.

You’re saved by a few braver customers who stop the girl and return your stuff. Someone gets the manager and kicks the girl out.

“T-thanks,” you stutter, clutching your bag tightly.

“It’s no problem,” the manager smiles. “Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll get you another cookie and a new cup of tea? It’s on the house.”

You give a shaky smile and nod, thanking the manager again.

You find another seat and try to get back to drawing. Your hands are too shaky though, so you opt to just staring at your unfinished work in frustration.

The manager returns with another chocolate chip cookie and a fresh cup of chai tea latte.

“Dig in,” he urges.

You eat the cookie, the texture feels off.

You choke.

There’s so much pain, you reach for your tea and-

Tink.

Several needles fall from your mouth, along with droplets of blood.

There are needles in your cookie.

You try to scream, but it just comes out as a gargled whimper. The manager smiles, leaning forward and patting your shoulder softly.

“Welcome to the real world,” he says. “Where scum like you deserve to get your fee fees hurt.”

You choke on the chocolate chip cookie you got from your favorite cafe, the taste of copper bubbling in your throat.

Everything’s slowly turning dark, you stare at your sketchpad. Idly, you think red would have suited that drawing.

Look, it’s halfway done.

fiction-is-not-reality

I love you

soda-puppee

Since Tumblr seems to forget this...

• Being racist is a problem. • Being white is not.

• Being sexist is a problem. • Being a man is not.

• Being transphobic is a problem. • Being cis is not.

• Being homophobic is a problem. • Being straight is not.

babashookethed

Everyone who reblogs this before New Years (11:59 PM 12/31/17)

will be given a small art piece based off of their blog! (Well a photo over Tumblr of it but it’ll be good quality)

And I mean EVERYONE as long as it’s before the end date! Reblog fast for cute art things!

unregardless

being rich would be so much fun, like aside from the obvious stuff, can you imagine going to a restaurant and being able to give your waiter/waitress a $500 tip for like a $40 meal? you could make people’s months without even trying

insidiousmoonandry

If only actual rich people thought this way instead of trying to pass shitty ass laws to fuck it up for everyone else

blogdeactivivvvated-deactivated

Controversial opinion, apparently: Don’t hit children.

blogdeactivivvvated-deactivated

It teaches them to obey out of fear, instead of for good behavior’s sake.

Even then, it has mixed results and often makes defiant children.

It causes long-lasting psychological issues that follow them to adulthood.

It ruins your relationship with that child because they will not trust you.

kawaiisuperwholock

I’m not being contrary in the least, but what do you propose instead?

blogdeactivivvvated-deactivated

Time-outs, explanation of wrong-doing and what to do instead, scolding, and maybe revoked items and privileges (but I dislike those). As a nanny myself, I tend to use the former two as they’re the most effective and least upsetting for the child (and you). Time-out gives them time to calm down, and then a firm but gentle conversation with the child on what they could have done instead.

I would like to mention that only immoral behavior needs punishment. If the child makes a mistake like breaking a vase on accident, a simple conversation on being careful and aware will do. Note: I say conversation. It shouldn’t be a lecture. You should be conversing with the child to get them to comprehend better.