Looking at this blog again has really given me nostalgia. I’ve grown up and matured so much in the past three years, but I made a mistake a few days ago: I cut 15-16 inches off my head. I feel really insecure, and leaving the house is hard for me.
- You should have not worried about what people thought of you so much.
You thought you were ugly, and your skin was bad. Trust me, it was almost perfect! Three years later and I am full of scars and pimples, but that doesn’t phase me anymore. If someone were to hate me over something I can’t control, it’s their problem.
It’s been years and I seriously remember how bad I was bullied at school AND at my church. Just because I never talked about it didn’t mean it was there. I never did anything. I was kind, sweet, accepting and loving, and I still am today. But yet, people still kept a distance from me BECAUSE of those things. I remember not having any friends at my CHURCH. The place where people should be the most accepting. Thank goodness those girls have grown and matured now. But, some of those attributes still remain. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parish and its community, but some of the younger kids are so hateful. Three years later, they still are.
Even though I am a little self conscious about my hair now, I am still fine. It feels nice to not be so obsessed with crushes and boys and to love and improve myself, enjoy the company of the small amount of friends I have, and to simply enjoy life. Don't stress over boys so much. Honestly, I intimidate so many of them because of how independent I am. This isn't even bragging, it's the truth. Boys don't tell me they like me, because 90% of the time, I am not even close to them and will say no thank you. Most of them will only like you because of your looks. They don't care about your goals or ambitions. Let alone, your favorite color!! Seriously, forget about boys. All you need is God, things you enjoy, and a few friends you truly trust. Don't be so scared of people leaving your life, and new people entering it. God has people in your life for a reason. Sometimes, you are better off without someone than with them. Don't stress too much about losing a former close friend. The memories you guys have will always be there. Sometimes people change, and it is not beneficial to keep them in your life. You are beautiful, intelligent, and will become a great woman, wife, and mother. Again, don't worry about boys. Your husband will be a great man, because God has reserved a great person for a great girl. Chastity isn't saying no, it's saying a greater yes. Yes to true love, and sacrifice. Yes to being a great woman that loves and keeps her promises. Sleep earlier. You're going to regret it. (For example, I'm typing this at 3:18 am LOL) Work hard, and stop being so into your phone!!! It is the biggest distraction from you and your success. That text you're waiting for isn't worth it; he only likes you for what you have to offer, and not your generosity. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray for those who hurt you. Pray for those you have hurt. Pray to become a greater person. Simply, pray. It will get you through so much. You have overcome 100% of your problems in the past. You will overcome so much more. God gives you these crosses, and it's for you to take them and become a greater person!! People will treat you wrong simply because you are happy and aspiring to become a better person... even those you would have never expected. People will say mean things to you, even though they are so much worse. Pray for them. Forgive them. Love them. God will love you so much for it, and you will become a great person. People will do things you'd never expect because you have happiness despite your circumstances, and are jealous because they cannot, simply due to their hatred. Give people a chance. That boy you've never batted an eye at even once is probably a very decent person. If not, just pray for him. Let go and give your problems to God. He always knows what's best for you. Dates do not mean commitment. Take time to know people. You will love it! Long hair suits you. Chopping my hair off was a big mistake LOL God gave you all you have, and he can take it all away. Love him!! He loves you so much!! Kathy, you are a wonderful girl and don't you ever forget that. Continue to grow and become a loving woman in Christ.