You said you're a pro shipper? That means problematic shipper which means that you either ship abusive relationships or children with adults, etc. do you ship those or something gross like that?
my brother in christ you cannot be more wrong and I'm so tired. also if you ask a random stranger this in real life, a random stranger who's mature enough to understand the difference between fiction and reality, they will look at you like you speak gibberish.
proship stance = anti harassing real people over goddamned fiction. your kink is not my kink and that's okay. don't like don't read. there are some prompts that trigger the fuck out of me. I don't read it. I don't even like it. but I will defend its rights to exist because
1.) it is fiction
2.) no one in real life is harmed
3.) it cannot harm you unless you go searching for it, knowing it will upset or trigger you
4.) a lot of victims and survivors cope and heal through fiction, a safe and controlled environment
5.) censorship is a fascist tool. once you allow one thing to be censored because someone somewhere doesn't want it to exist, anything and everything can and will be censored.
but if you want to know my ship, it's myself and your dad ❤️
I feel like in the rush of “throw out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced first” we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.
A lot of tough situations where we now feel like we “don’t know what to do or say” had social scripts just a couple of generations ago and they might have been canned phrases or robotic actions but they could still be meant sincerely and unfortunately we haven’t replaced them with any more sincere or easier new script.
a lot of people are giving examples in the notes of things they just find annoying like not using headphones in public, but OP is talking about actual literal scripts of things to say in awkward situations
if you have a date or two with someone and you don't see a relationship developing? most millennials / gen Zers just end up ghosting. but a social script that might have been taught and rehearsed in the past could be:
"I really appreciated getting dinner with you the other night and I enjoyed your company, but I'm afraid I didn't feel a spark. I wish you the best, and hope you find that special someone!"
like it sounds kind of trite but it was at least something to say and it can still be meant with kind sincerity. it also communicates in 2 sentences that you don't want to see them romantically again, but there aren't any hard feelings about that. that's it!!! that's all it takes!!!
Another example is that at parties a lot of people talk about how awkward it is to mingle or talk to people they dont know. But at old timey parties that was traditionally the HOST'S job, and there was a specific scripted way of doing it that eased the process! The host would bring you in, introduce you and maybe even a little bit about you like what you did for a living, and then guide you to a group you could talk to. They didn't just let you in the door and then ditch you to fend for yourself in a sea of strangers. That would be unthinkable and no one would be surprised if a get-together like that wound up being awkward.
I still do the party-host thing and yall can, too! (Thanks Mad Men for teaching me a lot of outmoded social scripts... no really tho)
Remember things about your friends! Ask people about their weekends, hobbies, holidays, studies, and jobs! Listen for the concerns people have and what they are working on! Draw connections between one person and another to get the ball rolling. "Oh, Maura, you just got your first cat! You should talk to Felix, he used to work at a rescue. Felix, please tell Maura all the new-cat-guardian pointers."
"Bill, Sheila, Xan, this is my friend Kale. Kale is really into Star Trek, Bill you and them should talk about it!"
Orrr whatever! After you make the introduction and draw the connection you just float on into the next interaction with someone else at the function. Just listen, care about your friends, get our of your own head, and think of how you can bring other people together and you will feel 100% less awkward.
hi i am so excited about this post because i have posted this exact thing MANY times on here, often in the specific context of how formal etiquette is so useful for autistic people especially, but also for everyone. even if you come off a little bit formal, which you will sometimes, having Old School Manners (or just knowing what they are) for various common scenarios is like having a magic ticket that will just sail you through all kinds of social iinteractions, gatekeeping, social weirdness, and as is pointed out in the above posts about introducing people to each other, can make you into a really valuable and helpful person for an entire gathering or group of people.
i also want to point out that knowing what the polite thing to do in all situations makes you a lot more effective at being rude and obnoxious when the situation calls for it, which is also a valuable and necessary adult skill
#things to write#but also#things to do#I could certainly benefit from a manual...
If you're looking for a manual on these sorts of things; social etiquette, social scripts, how to handle difficult and/or awkward social situations, etc. then I highly recommend picking up any book by Miss Manners. Her books really are the gold standard for learning the types of skills this post is talking about. I should also mention that Miss Manners is witty and hilarious so her books are also fun to read.
The best book by Miss Manners to get started with would be Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. This one is probably the best starting point because it gives the best overview of all the basics.
If you're the type who likes to listen to podcasts, I recommend checking out "Were You Raised By Wolves?" and/or "Awesome Etiquette". Both are also great tools for learning the type of social skills this post is talking about. I'm personally a fan of "Were You Raised By Wolves?" because not only are they pretty funny and informative, they also bother to try to teach the underlying social intelligence behind various manners and social etiquette so that you can have the skills to solve social dilemmas on your own. However, "Awesome Etiquette" is also pretty fun and informative.
#long post#I feel like 'i dont do small talk nobody cares about the weather' had a negative impact on social interaction#I mean yeah sometimes small talk about nothing gets awkward. but often it leads to the most interesting conversations#just asking 'what kind of music do you listen to at the gym' or 'have you read any books lately' could be such a lovely subject#I'm sometimes socially awkward despite being a huge extrovert. that's why etiquette is such a great thing#if you don't know how to act around people just stick to the etiquette rules. if they have a problem with it they're not for me anyways
Sorry @darlingdear but I couldn't let this stay in the tags.
I say this as someone who is neurodivergent had grew up very socially awkward, but recently I find the "screw small talk, I wanna get to know the REAL you" attitude to be pretentious as well as a demonstration of a lack of boundaries.
But also, I think a lot of people who have this attitude don't actually really know what does qualify as small talk. The definition of small talk is any topic that's of no real consequence and includes topics like food, pets, sports, music, whatever show you're currently streaming, whatever book you're currently reading, and yes, the weather. A lot of people who have this "I hate small talk / I don't do small talk" attitude probably think it's only reciting a bunch of secret scripts about the weather, and don't realize how much they engage in small talk whenever they talk about their pets or their favorite foods or the really cool show they're watching right now.
Small talk is just about boundaries and getting to know someone *before* you move into more serious and personal topics. The older I get the more I learn you really can't just trust anyone with more serious and personal subjects. Small talk first is important to gauge if they're someone safe and trustworthy first before moving into more serious and personal subjects. If you really genuinely refuse to get to know someone before immediately discussing serious and personal subjects you may have an issue with boundaries and should consider working on that.
Oh my god, so much the last point. All of them, but especially the last.
Small talk is a way of sounding out a person’s attitudes. It’s about finding out if they’re a rabid asshole or someone you want to spend more time with.
I had a professor who got angry at a group of (mostly women), from five countries, all of whom met yesterday, for talking about daytime TV. He basically insulted us and called us shallow.
Dude, we were figuring each other out with a safe topic! We were the best of friends three weeks later. We could broach harder topics because we understood each other’s boundaries better. If you immediately demand people bare their souls, you’re not likely to get them to be honest.
also it's always polite / a good idea to balance the conversation out between yourself and the other person.
By which I mean, if they've asked you several questions, turn it around: "and what about you?"
/ "what has your experience been in [topic]?"
I used to be too awkward to do it but noticed conversations would bleed to death. Then I overcompensated and only asked the other person question upon question. This was also Not Ideal because guys would end up thinking I was super interested in them and get confused when I shut off my interest / social battery later on.
So, balance: I try to talk about 50% of the time and share something that is either useful or relatable to the other or important to me. And by being interested and asking real questions you can get to know someone better and they will also know you a little, which can be really lovely.
Due to me seeing this post again, I decided to start re-reading Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, and all I can say is, this is a book Tumblr is really sleeping on.
It's not just the fact that this book is perfect for those of us who are neurodivergent, who can really benefit from having a book which kindly and patiently bothers to explain social rules and norms that people just expect you to know without ever telling you themselves.
It's also the fact that, despite this book being nearly 45 years old, Miss Manners makes it clear in the preface and opening chapters that she is explicitly against classism, sexism, and homophobia. She also makes it explicitly clear in the preface that her personal belief in the importance of good manners and etiquette has nothing to do with a desire to return to "the good old days", because those days were not actually good for women, LGBTQ+ people, poor people, and people of color.
What really made me re-fall in love with Miss Manners though was right in the opening chapter she addresses using sexualized threats and insults to debase and degrade others (you know, like "get fcked", or "suck my genitals", or "yeah well that's not what your mom / sister / other female family member had to say last night") because if sex is something that's supposed to be good and pleasurable, why are we using it as a threat to debase and degrade others? Honestly I love her so much for calling out the inherent sex-negativity of using sexualized threats and insults like that, and nearly 45 years ago at that!
Miss Manners has never been a stuffy old fashioned fuddy-duddy. She has always been a deeply compassionate woman far ahead of her time, whose sole mission is to make the world a kinder and more considerate place.
i’m having fun drawing book designs. Although in these guys’ case i really was imagining the TV series actors while reading their chapter in queen of the damned and was kinda fighting for my life making the book accurate drawings look “right”… but it felt important to draw because the height difference is so cute, lol. Feat. armand’s big fat Rolex.
How are you It’s been a minute! Here we all go again with the new season. I swear some of you guys deserve a tax right off for the work you’re doing with these asks lmao 
Ok question time, where do you think Daniel is during the events of the auction? And you know damn well I’m a sucker for DM so if there’s any ideas with them in mind too lol
If this is a question that you need to see more of the season to answer I’m fine waiting.
💕
Hey! How are you doing? Good to hear from you again!👋🏾
Okay, so where do I think Daniel is during the events of the auction? Hmm. Well, I do have four specific ideas. And I don't have to wait for more of the season to answer this one -- not really. Though one of the answers will be... vague... for now, regarding it.
So, here's a list for, as of right now, the four places I think Daniel could be during that auction scene:
1. Daniel was actually there at the auction. The camera just didn't show him.
This is the one I'm going to be vague about. And one of the reasons is that I'm kinda hoping for us viewers finding out who actually won the bidding on Lestat's Music Box in the final episode of Season 3. But, even if not, I do think it's possible that Daniel could be there, and the camera just didn't show him to us. Yet.
2. Daniel is tracking/following Raglan James' trail.
As I pointed out in a reblog of my meta/theory about when the opening auction scene takes place, in the books, everyone knew what Lestat had done with regards to the body switch with Raglan. All the main vampires within Lestat's circle knew what he'd done, and all of them, including Louis and Armand, decided not to help him get his body back.
💬 14 🔁 53 ❤️ 284 · I think you might be thinking of David Talbot. He mentions around the start of Memnoch the Devil about having randomly
That's why, in the book, Lestat had to turn to David Talbot, who was still human at the time, for help.
Well, the show might have actually changed that up some. I, at least, think Louis is helping Lestat, who he knows is in Raglan's body. And look, even if Armand might not be helping, per se, I think he damn well knows that Lestat's soul is within Raglan's body as well.
Because again, in the book, they all knew.
So, maybe Daniel is also trying to help Lestat by figuring out / tracking Raglan. Daniel was an investigative reporter after all. I think he, out of all of them, would know how to locate someone. Plus, he's already been in close contact with Raglan and the Talamansca before. That knowledge might also be helpful in trying to find him. Maybe even trying to lure him to the auction, if that might be a thing that is happening.
3. Daniel is with Marius in Brazil or... somewhere.
So, I've long held the thought that once the show finishes adapting Tale of the Body Thief, they are going to go right into adapting Prince Lestat. If you know how Prince Lestat ends, IMO, you can't really do Tale of the Body Thief before it, unless you really, really change up how Raglan steals Lestat's body. (Meaning you'd have to make it a full theft, and not Lestat just agreeing to body swap with him. Otherwise, you'd make Lestat look beyond reckless AF for doing such a thing.)
Anyway, assuming they do Prince Lestat right after TotBT, then we know where Daniel was in the books during that time, and that was with Marius.
Now, I really don't think the show is going to do the "Daniel goes mad and has to be taken care of by Marius" thing on the show. At least not right now, I don't. But I can see Daniel being with Marius for a time still, especially if my theory that it was Marius who erased and blocked Daniel's memories and not Armand. I can see Daniel wanting some answers about it all. You know, if he doesn't get those answers before then.
And then, once the events of TotBT end, just like in the Prince Lestat book, Daniel and Armand reunite, and that's that.
4. Daniel is in his apartment in Brooklyn, New York, where he and Armand both now live together.
So, at least at the moment, we have confirmation that Daniel does NOT go to his apartment in Brooklyn in EP 3x05. Or, at least, we don't see him do so in that episode:
💬 0 🔁 2 ❤️ 15 · Aw. Well, there goes my hope regarding the blue sky frescos on Daniel's apartment ceiling coming back into play this seaso
But I do still think that, at some point, those blue sky frescos on Daniel's ceiling will be seen again. And I very much think they are there as a nod to Trinity Gate, the home Armand had in NYC. I think we WILL find out that Daniel and Armand lived together in that apartment once before, in the past. So that could be a place they now live again, and Daniel is just there while Armand went to the auction.
I know. It's like, "Why didn't Daniel just go, too?" Don't know, which is why it's a theory that is last on the list.
Oh, but in that vein, here's a bonus fifth idea --
5. Daniel is on Night Island
Eh. Same reason he'd be at the apartment. There just because, and if the Night Island spinoff happens, I think it would happen before we'd get the full TotBT adaptation, so why not?
* * * * *
So yeah, those are my ideas about it at the moment. With either the first or second theories being the ones I'm leaning towards the most at the moment.
"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.
how did that last line not connect to my brain until i saw it here.
official top 2 most horrific foreshadowing moments (other one is Armand talking about Claudia's body and mind while a mortal is beheaded in the background of the shot)
he commits suicide in the books :)) unrelated to Lestat - well, ok, not entirely unrelated, but unrelated to anything the above conversation could possibly relate to. (ig it could be called a 'religious mania' type thing.) he survives it, but it was unclear for a while whether he would. (which was because Anne Rice did not originally intend for him to survive; only fans convinced her otherwise)
oh don't worry, they're doing the books! so he'll survive it too. but... we will likely see him do something to himself :')) though it's unclear how they'll spin the cause for his despair, as this Armand isn't religious in the same way book!Armand was. (or at least he doesn't seem to be, rn?) and whether they'll adapt the whole religious plot in the first place is also a question thoroughly doubted/debated by ppl i've seen. but one way or another.... i'd say this foreshadows that he'll be Going Through something :')))
