Angel's Reqiuem

sorry if I'm selfish. I get tired of constantly having to ask for my existence and feelings to be okay

[anangelsreqiuem]

Saw a post a while ago by a trans man saying he didn't like the idea he "had to" erase his past. That being cafab growing up was a part of his identity and he couldn't just erase the pressure and expectations of that. Being cafab in male dominated spaces, having certain experiences of makeup and dress and such, and his experience and introduction into queer spaces all can't be rewritten to just say he was a boy the whole time. And while many trans people I know grieve over the fact they spent their lives and especially "formative" years in a state of being trapped in the cave, so to speak, I don't think it's terrible to embrace it in any or even all aspects. Reclaiming our past is truly a struggle we all face, and if a trans person can reclaim it by being perfectly okay that their transition happened when it happened and everything before that was still a part of them and doesn't hurt to be a part of them, that's amazing.

.... but who the actual fuck would ever think we are being forced to erase our past?? I have heard nothing but "male socialization", being told I can change my appearance but not my "soul" or my chromosomes or DNA or whatever the fuck, that when I speak up it's the "mansplaining" in me. That no matter what part of me is a woman, I will always be remembered as someone who at least "used" to be a man. When I asked friends to take down old photos of me, I got weird looks and defensive tones, questions, and retorts. When I threw away everything that had any semblance of how I used to look or my dead name, I got asked why I was throwing away things that were "sentimental". Just seems like maybe the expectations on trans women are different than those who get the privilege to erase their past

[armoryangel]

need an arch nemesis to fuck raw

[desinteresse]

So many women are looking for a “masc lesbian” but what they really mean is that they want a top who has their life together lmao

[desinteresse]

“You got masc vibes even though you are a femme” do I? Or do you just think that confidence and competence are inherently linked to masculinity?

[desinteresse]

Like if you want someone to top you till you cry then you should just say that. There are many women who can provide, many of them femme.

[desinteresse]

But also it’s kind of rude to assign gender roles and sexual preferences to someone just because they’re masc. just because she wears a snapback that doesn’t mean she’s a top or able to fix your car or whatever.

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[strawberry-crocodile]

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

[strawberry-crocodile]

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."

[justeplume]

Save me hyperpop

[anangelsreqiuem]

Hot take ngl everyone needs to stop having so much corporate favoritism to Valve/Steam

[firem4ge]

Gender abolitionists only ever seem to want to abolish trans women’s gender. What’s up with that?

[iskamag]

I thought gender abolition was cool and did not know of its wider usage. Can you give context?

I like bloomfilter's writing https://bloomfilters.neocities.org/journal/talkingsex

[anangelsreqiuem]

Gender abolition is an ideology that says we should free ourselves of gender. That we should all live as individuals and not "force" ourselves into categories.

This sometimes stands in opposition to the mogai movement that proposes that our individuality can become our own gender. Your unique, or more unique, gender expression can be described with a special name (usually from another language like Latin, German, etc.) and have its own flag and a page on a wiki article.

Both of these ideologies/movements usually (not always #notallradfems) make a distinct separation of sex and gender. Sex is supposedly what you're "born as" and gender is what you "identify as". Gender abolition to many transfems has become a weapon aimed at them to degender and push towards bioessentialism. Sex abolition however is an ideology usually centered around the harm that binary sex has on intersex people, especially to forced medical procedures at birth, through childhood, and the lack of agency they still have in their lives and in medical procedures when they're an adult even. Having a more fluid, encompassing, or eliminated definition of sex can also help trans and intersex individuals face less discrimination with medical procedures, identification documents, and general perception of how we are as humans.

I wasn't able to read the full blog post you linked, but it seems to be talking more for sex abolition than gender abolition. Something that may seem like a small distinction, but generally has very big differences in end goals and who it targets and who it tries to actually help

[frankendykes-monster]

[firem4ge]

Gender abolitionists only ever seem to want to abolish trans women’s gender. What’s up with that?

[anangelsreqiuem]

Men are seen as default. Trans women are seen having to perform femininity to an extremely high degree to be seen as women, but TMEs will see this instead as a man enforcing oppressive unrealistic beauty standards, instead of a woman being oppressed by unrealistic beauty standards. They are already in their head pretending to see trans women as women, so them saying "just abolish all gender" to TMAs, is really them saying "I don't see you as a woman, so you should stop trying so hard"

[izumi-is-blah]

true self

[potemkin-guilty-gear]

babe are you ok? you reblogged "true self" 3 times today