Original Air Date: November 12, 1997.
TW - THEMES OF SEXUAL ASSAULT
Now I know why Yvette needed those self defense classes. It was to defend herself against the most annoying little shit to ever re-occuringly appear on this show.
Deion, who honestly should have gotten his ass whooped for everything he eventually ends up doing in B-plot land and who is currently in the running for most frequent future member of the Black Manosphere, has set his sights on Yvette. Yvette understandably doesn’t want to go out with him though, as she is hiding from him. But I get it because like in the last episode, we all are aware of what happens when a woman says no to a man.
In fact, this episode actually makes me kind of sad because Yvette has to resort to so many methods of gently letting him down since Deion just cannot take a hint. While it’s bogus that she has to use TJ as a buffer, it just goes to show you the fear a lot of women have when it comes to rejecting men.
Anyway, Yvette goes poof and Deion asks TJ where she is. After he leaves, Yvette comes back from her hiding spot behind a Penguin cardboard and asks how many times she has to tell that guy ‘no.’ Girl, not enough.
Deion pops back up after TJ is giving Yvette an unnecessary lesson about the word ‘no’ in different languages although I’m sure no matter what language it was told in, the response from a toxic male was always the same.
Because Yvette has run out of excuses, she is now using TJ as a buffer. After claiming he has a bladder infection, she ushers a confused TJ away from Deion. Glad that’s over!
Sike. When she gets home, Deion has left her a shitload of messages on the Henderson family answering machine. Now I understand that for the sake of the plot, everyone’s number just seems to be available for public consumption, but Yvette probably did give Deion her real number to get him to go away for a little bit. Although Adult Aspyn would have given him a fake number, this is high school. She unfortunately has to see her stalker everyday so she most likely figured giving him her real number and then simply ignoring him would suffice. It doesn’t.
TJ is concerned but for the wrong reasons. First, TJ says Yvette has to do something about this guy because although TJ is already 10 or 11 and in high school, the absolute most traumatic thing that could happen to him is a bout with urinary incontinence. I get it, TJ is a kid, but honestly, this is exactly how most adult men would react. Fuck you and your safety, my ego is at risk here!
Outside, Mo has just arrived to see Marcus outside freezing his buns off. He has a way bigger problem than Yvette right now: his scholarly ineptitude is about to be exposed to his father unless he can intercept the mail before his pappy gets home. The plan backfires.
Floyd is big mad because Marcus did an average at best job on his grades. I personally don’t understand his rage, though. I get it, C’s aren’t the best thing in the world, but he’s not failing. I understand, Floyd just wants the best for his kids but I wish he’d realize that college isn’t for everyone and there is literally no shame in being an average student but learning a trade or something. He unknowingly sets him up just for this when, as punishment, Floyd tells Marcus that he’s going to be working with him, fixing roofs after school and on weekends.
The next day at school, Mr. Millitich, someone we’ll actually see again and who has zero bedside manner, comes up to TJ at lunch and recommends a cream for his imaginary ass rash. Then some students come up to TJ and start scanning his head for lice. Yvette is really putting TJ through a fake ringer but in a few episodes, he’ll totally deserve it.
Like the leftover glitter from an art project that just never goes away, here comes Deion, this time with a mute, obviously-not-teenage bodyguard in tow. I guess his strategy here was that if Yvette rejected him, he would make this dark-skinned Random Task beat up Yvette.
Yvette rejects him again, now using TJ’s webbed feet as an excuse. TJ has had enough. He actually pushes Random Task aside and tells Deion that Yvette can’t go out with him because she already has a man. Deion then says he “respects turf” which is bullshit as we will later find out. But since TJ needs an appropriate, bigger male to intimidate Deion, he selects Mo.
Next, we cut to Marcus hating his job and complaining about his body hurting. Considering that he was used as a human dummy in the previous episode, I’m honestly not shocked. However, that was his own damn fault. Floyd is hoping this punishment will make him want to go to college. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
We cut back to the Henderson crib where TJ is coaching Yvette and Mo on how to act like a couple to throw off Deion’s scent. For the sake of the episode, we will pretend that these teenagers have no idea how to act like a couple and need TJ to show them. They squabble back and forth about what Yvette will and won’t accept. After a few clips of Mo expressing his thirst and Yvette shooting him down, they agree on the terms, minus kissing. Sorry, Mo. I do like that this episode sets up Mo x Yvette which I lowkey wish would have happened because they actually have awesome chemistry.
The next day, Yvette and Mo are acting like a couple at lunch and really selling it. Mo even hands her Hershey’s Kiss chocolates and OmG ThEy aRe sO CuTe tOgEtHeR EeK. He leaves to get her a soda and the moment is immediately ruined by Deion ‘I-respect-turf’ White. Here he comes, throwing Yvette a lone rose, back with his mute, 35-year-old bodyguard, bragging about spending a whole $6 on her. Although I’m sure he’s heard that Yvette and Mo are an item, as TJ is mentioning in passing, he is still trying to pursue her. Look, I get it, Yvette is pretty and smart and you think you deserve a woman like her but you don’t. Ok, you just don’t.
When Yvette refuses and very politely I may add, Deion immediately catches an attitude. But here comes Mo, swooping in to save his damsel in distress from this dumb dusty. This heroic act earns Mo a kiss on the lips although it wasn’t part of the deal. Turns out women actually like when men respect them and keep them safe. Who knew?
So Yvette leaves and I just can’t, Mo is so cute and it’s obvious he’s really into Yvette and so much so that he pays a stunt double to do three backflips for him to exacerbate the point. Aww. Almost makes me forget that he was sexually assaulting women with his best friend in the previous episode.
We cut to Marcus actually enjoying life, not being tired after working. Floyd’s plan is definitely unraveling faster than a punctured Rodarte sweater circa 2008. Once he tells Marcus that he gets paid on Fridays, he’s already doing the math in his head. Marcus would net $800/month, yes, a month, working this job.
Anyways, it’s enough to make Marcus give a permanent middle finger to his already nonexistent college dreams. This only gives Floyd more rage fuel to make the job seem as terrible as possible. However, he is realistic when he factors in how long he’ll have to be working there to make half a million.
Oh inflation, how I loathe thee.
Anyways, Mo is just making me ship he and Yvette even harder. Apparently, he is going above and beyond with this role because he came with Yvette to her poetry club. Listen ladies, when a man is really into you, he will do anything for you. He’s even holding her bag for her! What a gentleman! Maybe all that ass-kicking from his time spent as a dummy actually taught him a lesson on how to respect women!
Mo thanks TJ for setting them up and it really sounds like Mo is falling for our Yvette but TJ has to remind him that it’s a PR relationship. I don’t know why, seeing as Mo threatened to split Deion’s wig and he thankfully hasn’t popped back up, but I also think Yvette is hesitant to be with him although their ship gets teased a lot through the series.
TJ’s hormones haven’t kicked in just yet, so he doesn’t get why dancing would make a woman fall for a guy–it doesn’t, it’s just a prelude to sex–but Mo is convinced Yvette will be forever his after their tango. He even pantomimes the dance with his backpack.
Back at Piedmont, the dance is revving up. There’s about 30-40 students here ready to get crunk. TJ is DJ-ing and Mo is still flitting about trying to make the scene right for his lady. Y’all, I really love Mo, he’s so cute. He even shouts her out over the microphone. This man is sprung.com.
However, another tall light-skinned dude pulls a very seemingly spoken for Yvette right from under Mo’s nose and Yvette just goes along with it and lets him know it was a PR relationship. Boo, Yvette. I know you don’t owe any man anything but why not Mo? He actually became fine to me in this episode.
TJ begins covering for Mo, who bought a freaking necklace for Yvette–beat that, Deion!–but left it in the car, by playing anything but Boyz II Men and Brian McKnight.
Back in B-plot land, Marcus is hanging out with his fellow roofers, scoffing at the thought of returning to high school life. Once the roofer dude starts making the job sound like hell, especially the ‘no women’ part, that’s all the motivation Marcus needs to run back to high school. Floyd’s plan worked but I’m actually annoyed with Floyd. If being a roofer is so terrible, why is he one? What’s wrong with Marcus skipping college and learning a trade while he pursues his music? Plus, the guy has three kids, you think he’d be a little more relieved that he only has to shell out money for two FAFSA applications.
So Marcus runs back to school and sees Mo and Yvette dancing. I’m surprised he’s so okay with it, seeing as most guys hate the thought of their best friends even breathing near their sisters. Pretty mature of him, not going to lie. Again, Mo’s fineness spiked to astronomical levels during this dance. He’s having so much fun with Yvette.
Even after this sultry ass dance, Yvette still wants to dance with Garrett. I personally would have said Garrett who, but can’t knock the girl for having options! Mo actually does seem heartbroken when Yvette dumps him but Mo kisses her on the cheek and tells her good luck with Garrett. I fucking love Mo, y’all. We’ll never see Garrett again. Well, technically we will, but he’ll have a different name.
TJ is also an Yvette x Mo shipper! He says that he and Yvette looked better on the dance floor. His heartbrokenness wears off two seconds later when a PYT in a velvet skater dress asks for a dance.
Something tells me Mo will be just fine.
This would have been a solid ending but then, and I wish I was fucking joking, this episode literally ends with Marcus being overly aggressive with a girl who clearly doesn’t want him! It’s played as a joke but this girl seriously does not want Marcus anywhere near her and he’s still being handsy.
Somebody slingshot his ass back on the roof where he belongs.
- The actor who plays Deion is actually Mr. Dig from Lizzie McGuire and I swear I was today years old when I realized it.
- The actor who plays Garrett plays another love interest of Yvette’s in a future episode. They are really bad with recycling actors on this show.
- Floyd tells Marcus to bring in whatever groceries Mo hasn’t eaten after delivering his punishment. I really have too much proof to support my theory that Mo lives in an abusive, neglectful household.
- Piedmont has the tackiest decorations ever.
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