off to therapy, you guys want anything?
For you to feel secure in your mental health, and if not secure at least hopeful and confident that you’re making the right decisions for yourself.
I’m in fucking tears thanks mate
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shark vs the universe

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Kiana Khansmith
DEAR READER

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@anaprieto0
off to therapy, you guys want anything?
For you to feel secure in your mental health, and if not secure at least hopeful and confident that you’re making the right decisions for yourself.
I’m in fucking tears thanks mate
love triangle - part ten
Paring: Tom Holland x Reader, Shawn Mendes x Reader
Warnings: angst
Words: 3.8k
Summary: What would happen when you fall for the school bad boy? What if your best friends has fallen for you as well? Who would you choose in this love triangle?
requests are open!
The kiss was amazing. The best kiss you’ve ever had, better than you could even imagine. It felt like birds were singing around you two, fireworks going off and your stomach was filled with butterflies, no your whole body was. Shawn was perfect in every single way. You loved him. He was everything you ever wanted in a guy. You could remember the first time you met Shawn in class;
“Is this seat taken?” A beautiful voice asked next to you. You quickly look up to see, probably, the most beautiful man you had ever seen. His hair was a curly mess, his honey brown eyes that you could so easily drown in. Holy god. He clearly worked out, a lot.
“This seat?” You stutter out to him pointing at the empty seat next to you. You were confused why would he want to sit next to someone like you. Your eyes wandered around the almost empty classroom. Why did he want to sit next to you?
“Yeah? Or are you waiting for someone?” He asked you again. He leaned in a little bit closer so you could smell his cologne.
“Umm… no. I mean I’m not waiting for anyone.” You finally speak out after a way too long silences between you two.
“Great!” He gave you the sweetest smile before sitting down next to you. “I’m Shawn.” He suddenly tells you and offers out his hand. If you were being honest you knew who he was. School had just started but everyone knew him already. He was popular but all the stuff you had heard about him were just nice things. Every single girl in this school had a crush in him, you had even heard that he could sing, that he played hockey and was really good at it too.
“Y/N.” You stutter out your own name to him. Why was he even talking to you?
“Yeah, I… um… I actually know that already!” Shawn confesses to you with an excited smile resting on his kissable lips.
“Really?” the words that leave your mouth are louder than you wanted it to be.
“Yeah. You’re really smart… and nice.” He tells you, making you blush of course. “I would really like to get to know you.” He suddenly tells you. Never before had anyone come up to you and told you that they wanted to be your friend because you seemed nice. But that was the first of many days you spent with him and now couple years later he was your best friend, your rock and your everything or was he.
You quickly push Shawn of you. Looking at him not saying a word. He smiles at you like what you two just did was okay, normal. He was about to lean into another kiss but you push him away again.
“Shawn we can’t…” you whisper to him. Even if you wanted to kiss him, maybe do something more with him but you couldn’t. You were with Tom and you couldn’t do that to him.
“Why not?” He sounds so confused.
“You’re dating Hailey! And I’m dating Tom!” You raise your voice a little, because if you hadn’t you would probably lean into another kiss.
“But didn’t you feel what I felt?” He mumbles to you. Did he feel the butterflies, the fireworks and hear the birds like you did? No, no he couldn’t. He was happy with Hailey, he just doesn’t know what he is doing. He tried leaning in again.
“Shawn!” You yell out his name before getting up from the bed. “We can’t be doing this! We’re both seeing someone! I’m happy with Tom. Tom makes me happy!” He didn’t move or say anything. He just sat there and looked at you, you can’t even make sense of what he was thinking about. The silence was killing you.
“Say something!” You wanted it to sound strong… but it was the total opposite.
“y/n…” he only whispers out your name before getting up from the bed and taking two long steps to be right in front of you. His hands find you cheeks and he makes you look him into his beautiful eyes. You could feel his warm breath on your lips.
“Shawn.” You whisper out his name. Trying to pull away from his touch but he won’t let you move away.
“I want to be with you.” Shawn whispers to you.
“Shawn.” You push his hands off you and take a step back from him. The tears were so close to spill out of your eyes. “You should leave.” You finally whisper out to him. The words probably hurt you more than they hurt Shawn. The look on his face told you how you had broken his heart with your words.
“What do you mean?” His voice was shaky and his eyes were getting watery like yours.
“I need you to leave Shawn. I can’t do this.” You whisper again. “You can’t tell me that now and then act like I’m being the bad guy for not accepting you.”Turning to face the wall. You couldn’t bare to look him anymore, if you had looked him any longer you knew you would have started crying and run into his arms and never let him go but you couldn’t do that. You were with Tom now and he made you happy, you liked him a lot maybe not love him like you loved Shawn but you had waited so long for Shawn and when you finally found someone he finally tells you that he feels the same way.
“Please y/n.” You just shake your head at his words not trusting your voice enough to tell him to leave again. He doesn’t say anything you hear him move, get up something before opening the door but not leaving. “Tom will hurt you…” he lets you know before walking out of the room and probably walking out of your life too.
As the door closes you turn to look at the closed door, finally letting the tears go. You can’t believe what you just did. He had told you he wanted to be with you and you turned him down. You turn to look at the bed to see two pizza boxes and a note on the bed that hadn’t been there before.
You slowly pick up the piece of paper and as you start reading it you realize it’s not a note it was a song. Shawn could sing really good but he never sang to anyone. He was too scared that people would judge him, you had only heard him singing a couple of times. But you never knew he wrote songs and as you read the song you knew that he came up with it by himself because it sounded just like him. It was beautiful and it didn’t help your crying. The song was called Fallin’ All In You and in the corner of the paper read “to my princess”. By that you automatically knew the song was for you. He had promised that you would be the only person he would call that would be you.
You couldn’t believe he wrote a song for you. It was one of the most beautiful things you had ever read and you could sense that if Shawn were to sing it, it would sound even more beautiful. You didn’t know what to do. Should you listen to your heart and run after him to tell him that you loved him too and wanted to be with him or should you let it go. It was too late by now anyways. He would never want you after what you did to him.
Placing the boxes on the floor, you sat down on the bed. You started reading the song over and over again, letting the tears run down your cheeks freely and the sobs come out whenever they wanted to.
Waking up to something falling in the room next to yours. The room was dark, smelled like pizza and your eyes were burning from how dry they were from all the crying. You don’t even know when you had fallen asleep. Looking at the paper in your hand before jumping up from the bed. Putting your shoes on and grabbing your jean jacket that you had stolen from Shawn last spring, which he never asked for you to return because it “suited you”. You never had ran as fast as you were running. You can’t let Shawn go, if he really meant what he wrote down, he would love you like you love him.
When you finally make it to the front door of the frat house you feel like you could collapse any second. You are a little surprised to hear loud music from inside the house. Were they really having a party middle of the week? You knocked on to the door and when it opened Harrison is the one you see. As soon as he realizes it’s you his smile fades away. You could smell the alcohol, sweat and weed from the house as soon as the door swings open, you could see a lot of people dancing around the house with drinks in hand.
“Oh hey y/n. Tom’s not here.” He lets you know as soon he opens up his mouth.
“I’m here to see Shawn.” You let him know as you walk past him into the full house. “Oh he is busy doing someone.” He casually tells you. Before closing the door and walking in too.
“Someone?” You ask but don’t stay to hear the answer before you make your way up the stairs. You were trying to get past people who were standing on the hall and stairs. Shawn’s door is closed but you don’t even knock before walking into the room. Not thinking about Harrison’s words anymore.
“Shawn.” You say his name before you realize what’s going on in the room. You had walked in on Zendaya having sex in your dorm room before but to see your best friend who had told you he wanted to be with you a couple hours earlier in bed with someone else was a lot more disturbing. You feel your heartbreak inside you. But why was it even breaking? You knew it all had to be a dream, Shawn would never want to be with you and you had Tom. You were with Tom and you should be happy about it.
“Sorry.” You mumble, before quickly walking out off the door and closing it behind you. You were still shocked by what you had seen. It wasn’t that bad to see him in bed but to see him with someone who wasn’t Hailey made you uncomfortable. When did he move on from her? Or was he cheating on her for the second time in a one day? Did you even know Shawn after all? You don’t even move, just stand in front of the door thinking about what had just happened in front of your eyes. The door swings open and you look up at Shawn, he clearly was on something, not sure if it was the weed or alcohol. He had gotten jeans on and a shirt in hand that he was putting on.
“What are you doing here?” he was out of breath and you just wanted to cringe.
“I don’t even know.” you tell him before starting to back up. “Sorry, really didn’t mean to interrupt you guys. Just go back to um to whatever you were doing.” you wave your hand at him and walk past all the people back downstairs. You weren’t sure why but you walked to the kitchen and take the closest vodka bottle before taking couple huge swigs from it. You were looking around the living room, everyone was having time of their life but you were once again just confused with your life. You stop a girl smoking something that clearly isn’t just a cigarette before leaving you took it from her hand, giving her a fake smile.
“Thanks.” You tell her before disappearing into the people again, trying to find your way out of the house at the same time as you smoke the weed. You let it fill up your lungs and try to let go of all the things in your mind. Hoping to god that the girl didn’t follow you nor knew who you were. Your life was a mess again, how could one person jump from mess to mess. When one mess was cleaned up you would end in another mess.
When you finally get out of the house you take the last drag out before throwing it on the ground. Taking your phone out and trying to call Tom, wondering where he was. It was weird that he wasn’t at the party, he was always at parties and where could he be if he wasn’t home nor with you.. You hadn’t seen him in days and you just really needed a hug right now and some attention from someone, anyone. But of course he didn’t answer his phone like you expected so you just decided to text him.
y/n: hey tommy
y/n: wnet by the house… didnt see ya
y/n: just culd you text meh when you het this?
y/n: miss uo
Not really realizing how the alcohol had already hit you hard because you almost never drank so but after texting Tom it doesn’t take him long to call you back. You smile at your phone as the picture of Tom pops up on your phone.
“Hey babe.” You answer the phone at the same times as you make your way back home.
“Hey? Are you okay?” He asks you, you could hear him moving or doing something at the same time.
“I think I’m drunk.” You let him know before letting out a giggle. “and I really miss you. You haven’t answered your phone…” You whine into the phone as you take a seat on the bench next to the road.
“Where are you?” his voice was soft, you could hear a door close behind him.
“I’m not sure, somewhere between your house and my dorm room.” You tell him as you look around the street. “Please pick me up.” You make a puppy face even tho he couldn’t see it, but somehow thinking you could make him pick you up by doing the face.
“I will, give me like 10 mins and I’ll be there. Please don’t move okay?” you nod your head to his voice.
“I’ll stay… right… um here.” you mumble to him before hanging up the phone.
It was dark outside and a little cold too and you started to get a little tired so you lay down on the seat and look at the stars. Before you even know it someone is shaking you awake.
“Darling?” You open your eyes to see a familiar brown haired boy. You wrap your hands around his neck.
“Tommy…” You mumble against his chest.
“Let me take you home.” he mumbles to you before making you get up.
“I’m too tired to move…” You tell him as you lean on to him, not actually being tired but just wanting to be close to someone. “I missed you.” you mumble against his neck.
“Are you sure you don’t want to walk?” he asks and you nod your head yes. So he picks you up bridal style before he starts walking.
“Where are you taking me pretty boy?” You ask him, placing small kisses on his neck. He just laughs at you before looking down at you.
“Home, darling. I’m taking you home to sleep.” He lets you know before kissing your forehead. “How are you feeling?”
“Needy and I like wanna kiss you… a lot.” You mumble to him before leaning to kiss his jaw. “Why are you so beautiful Tommy?” He doesn’t answer you, just shakes his head and lets out a small laugh. You two make it to your place in no time and you’re surprised that Tom actually could carry you all the way back to your dorm. He places you down so you could open the doors and you two make your way up the stairs, Tom holding your hand all the way.
“Can you stay with me?” You ask him as you open the door to your dorm. “I really want you to stay Tommy.” You tell before opening the door fully, he picks you up again and drops you on your bed.
“Only because you’re so cute.” he tells you before giving you a kiss, the kiss deepens and you pull him into the bed with you, turning so you are on top of him.
“Wait a minute.” You mumble to him as you get up from him before walking to Zendaya’s closet. “She has vodka.” you let him know as you finally find the bottle and let out a giggle. “Cheers to us.” you raise the bottle before taking a huge gulp from the bottle before walking back to Tom. “Do you want?” You ask him as you take another sip from the awful tasting thing.
“Sure thing.” he laughs as he takes the bottle from you and takes a couple big gulps out of the vodka bottle. “This taste like shit.” he laughs out before getting up a little and letting his back rest against the bed’s headboard.
“You’re beautiful.” you mumbled to him before kissing his jaw. “So damn beautiful.” you whisper to him as you trail kisses down his neck. But you stop and take the bottle from him.
“Hey! That felt nice don’t stop.” he tells you as he tries to take the bottle from you but you don’t let him to. You just stick your tongue out to him and take a sip from the bottle again, letting the alcohol hit you, just to get the sight of Shawn with someone else out of your head. You give Tom back the bottle before you take your shirt off. You never had been in so little clothing in front of Tom and you felt a little uncomfortable but you were too drunk to even care. So you just lean in and kiss him again, he tasted like the bad vodka, a little like weed and there was a new taste on him that you haven’t tasted before.
“Mm… “ You mumble against his lips before you let your hands travel down his body, until your fingers find the end off his shirt and you start pulling it off him. He puts the bottle next to your bed before helping you get the shirt off him. “Oh, wow.” You breathe out as you see his exposed chest. “Does my boyfriend work out?” You tease him before kissing his sweet spot.
“Mm… he does… hopefully will work out soon too.” he tells you before flipping you two around again so he is on top off you.
“Oh, how so… Leaving me… a-and going to work out?” You ask him between kisses, his hands are wandering around your body, never had a guy or anyone touched you in places he was letting his hands wander. Your fingers find his hair brown locks and you pull it making him moan into the kiss.
“I was hoping you would be my work out.” He mutters before he breaks the kiss and gets up from the bed.
“Where are you going?” your voice is more like a whine, it was cold laying on the bed half naked looking at your boyfriend taking a sip from the vodka before giving it to you. You take a sip almost choking on the liquid as Tom starts to take his pants off. He takes the bottle from you laughing. “Are you going to die on me, babe?”
“I think I might.” You laugh at him before pulling him back on top of you. The kiss was sloppy, teeth hitting each other. His hand travels between you two and he starts to open your jeans, you panic. What was happening? Were you actually ready to sleep with Tom? You were about to push him off but his hand traveled down your pants and you let out a loud moan.
“Oh, you like that?” He whispers as he starts to kiss your neck, his other hand finds the back of your bra and he opens it and pulls it off. Sitting up before pulling your jeans off with your underwear. You are laying on the bed, naked and way too drunk to actually be in a mindset to do anything more than kissing.
“Tom.” you mumble his name but he just looks up at you before he starts kissing down your body. “Tom.” You try again, this time he stops and looks at you with his usual smirk on his face.
“Yeah? What do you want princess..?” Your heart drops when he calls you princess, Shawn was the only one who could call you that. He kisses your lips and you stop him.
“I’ve never done this before.” you choke out to him, feeling dizzy and uncomfortable being in front of Tom naked. Wrapping your hands around you to cover your breast a little. He has a confused look on his face at first but then he starts laughing like it was a joke. You could feel the tears forming in your eyes and like you could throw up any second now.
“Wait are you serious?” he sits up again looking down at you. Not clearly believing you. “Like never done anything with anyone?” He asks you before getting off you and sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Just kissing.” You tell him before letting out a laugh. Clearly too drunk, the vodka hitting you hard. Taking his hand and pulling him down with you on the bed again, kissing his jaw once again but he just gets up from the bed.
“I… I can’t do this.” he mumbles more to himself as he quickly gets dressed, not even that well he just pulls up his jeans. He somehow gets the shit on taking his shoes not even putting them on.
“Tom? What are you doing?” You could hear how drunk you were from your voice and you could see that Tom was drunk too because his steps weren’t so straight.
“I… um… need to go.” he turns to face you before coming up to you kissing your forehead. “You’re too drunk… um… I’ll just call you tomorrow.” he tells you before he walks out of the room, leaving you naked on the bed alone.
let me know if you liked it and if you want another part!
a/n: I’m so so sorry that it so long to post again! It’s been so busy for the past couple of weeks with school! Hope you still enjoy it!
tag lists are open!
Shawn Mendes | Earth blurb
author’s note: I don’t know if it’s been done but I thought of this as I heard the song “Earth” by Lil Dicky. Just some cute fluff as I get used to writing and publishing my work. Thanks for the love on my last blurb. Always open to feedback and requests and masterlist is always in my bio. Share if you like it.
summary: Reader finds out about Shawn’s line in “Earth” by Lil Dicky and recalls the day he first hinted at the line.
You’ve been dating Shawn for a while. So it came as a surprise to you when you read in a Twitter moment that Shawn was hinted to be in Lil Dicky’s new music video.
“Hey, are you going to be in Lil Dicky’s new music video?” you asked in what you thought was a calm manner, but the smile on Shawn’s face made you think that maybe it came out a little more frantic. “What new music video?” Shawn asked while tilting his head to the side trying to act innocent but you knew better. “It’s just— I know where you’ve been the last couple of months, so I don’t understand when you—“ “Well I guess you’ll just have to see when the video comes out,” he said as he kissed your cheek and left you standing confused.
Keep reading
Hear Your Heart (Peter Parker x reader)
a/n: loosely based off ‘hear your heart’ by james bay!!
please leave feedback or reblog!!
marvel taglist
warnings: mentions of peter’s death, thanos being an asshole, angst, sadness, anxiety mentions, death mentions
_______________________________________________________________________Peter Parker was your best friend. The two of you grew up together, you were inseparable. You told Peter everything and he would listen. He was always there for you, no matter what. He was there for you when your parents got divorced, he was there for you all the times you got your heart broken.
And you were there for Peter. You were there when Ben died, you were there for him when he was bitten by the spider. You were there for him when he gushed about Liz and practiced asking her to homecoming. You were there when he was trying to catch the Vulture and you were there when he jumped out of the bus that fateful day he decided to go help Mr. Stark. You begged and begged him not to go, but you couldn’t stop him. You watched as he swung to where the action was, away from you. Then, the unthinkable happened. You lost Peter. Thanos snapped his fingers and suddenly your friends and family were turning to dust in front of your eyes. It wasn’t long after when you were at Peter’s apartment, crying to her about how you couldn’t stop him from leaving, how you pleaded with him to just stay with you. You were interrupted by a knock on the door, both of you fearing the worst.
Keep reading
This has happened to me before when I was in college at a frat party. This girl comes squeezing herself in between me and my friend and throws her arms around me. “Amanda, I am so glad you decided to come!” I was so confused and just figured she was drunk and mistaked me for someone else, until I saw the panic on her face. She leaned close and whispered that a guy was following her, was certain that he had put something in her drink and if I would please play along. I looked behind her and sure enough, some creep was watching her like a hawk. We invited her to hang out with us the rest of the night and even waited until her ride showed up just to make sure she was safe. Always look out for each other!
If you ever feel scared like this just come up to me like we have been friends since kindergarten, call me any name u can come up with ill play along.
Stay together, stay safe
Perfect advice. I’m reblogging this as a guy, because first of all, if you”re a guy : DON’T DO THAT. Don’t be that creep.
And if you’re a guy and you notice some creep is following or stalking a girl, and that she’s obviously uncomfortable or panicked, go ahead and say hi, long time no see, pretend to be her cousin, and tell her discretly you noticed there was a shady guy. Ask her if something’s wrong, if she feels unsafe, if she wants your help (very important - she may not trust you enough, no one could blame her, don’t take it personally). (and don’t you dare take advantage of the help you offered for a flirt opportunity, that would make you no better than the creep)
We can all stop “witnessing and do nothing”, and set an example.
Alternative option for a guy: if you feel safe doing so, go up to the creeper who’s following her and be like “hey WHAT’S UP bud do you like SPORTS? My favourite team is the redsox what’s YOURS my man? What you DRINKING dude that looks GOOD.” and be friendly and just loud enough to blow his cover. Draw attention to him and see what he does. He won’t feel as safe creeping if he knows people are looking at him, and maybe he’ll leave. It also means the woman won’t have to worry that you are *another* creeper she has to be wary of, and you may distract the bad dude enough to give her a chance to lose him.
Reblogging for that last comment.
Spilled Popcorn
Shawn and Y/N are arguing, but she never thought he’d miss the birth of his own child.
Word count: 4.9K
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“Everything all packed up and ready to go?”
Some clothes are still messily strewn across the room. There are suitcases in random places, shoes thrown around here and there. Overflowing suitcases barely zip shut, Shawn using all of his upper body strength to hold down the items inside of them. Y/N tiredly plops herself down on the bed, legs dangling off as her husband packs for his tour.
“Roughly, yeah.” He tugs the zipper to the last suitcase shut, setting his guitar case on top of it. Y/N scans her eyes over all of the colorful stickers on his case, having heard the stories behind all of them.
She’s daydreaming, lazily floating on the master bed before she feels two hands on his round tummy. Smiling, she reaches down, placing her tiny hands over the large ones and feeling the cool metal of large rings there.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright on your own?” He asks her, squatting in front of the bed, but still being tall enough to look her straight in the eyes as she sits there. She runs her hand over where the ring on his middle finger is, feeling the strange stone as she nods.
“Yes, i’m sure. Go have fun being a rockstar, i’ll join you once she pops out.” Y/N gestures to her large stomach, Shawn laughing as he presses his lips to her cheek. The fabric of her shirt, though soft, still made her feel stuffy and all she wanted to do was take it off and lie under the sheets all day.
“I’ll be back for sure before she does.” He pulls her in as far as he can before her stomach inevitably separates them a bit. They both giggle, and Y/N offers to help him load his things into his SUV. Shawn gently shoves her back onto the bed, telling her she shouldn’t do anything that could possibly cause stress before picking up half of the bags at once.
Y/N would miss Shawn while he was away, but she knew he would get back at least a week before her due date.She wasn’t particularly worried, she knew that her husband loved her, and she knew that she was strong enough to withstand a few nights on her own.
Y/N giggled when she lied down fully on the soft sheets, her head coming in contact with an Armani shirt he must’ve pulled out while packing. She faintly smelt the smell of Gucci cologne on it, and it astounded her how he needed so many clothes just for 2 weeks of tour. Her husband was surely something different, and she’d never been more sure that she’d married the most amazing person.
Hearing footsteps thud up the stairs, she quickly lifted her heavy body off of the bed. She noticed that she felt more sluggish as her bump grew, like a weight was always pressing her down when she walked. She’d managed to get the next few weeks off from work, so she was excited to not do anything for the time being, no matter how much she wants her husband to be there with her.
“Baby, I have to leave.” Shawn sighs. Truthfully, he doesn’t really want to go either. Leaving your 8 month pregnant wife alone for two weeks, wasn’t something that topped his list of things to do, but he knew the obligations that came along with his career.
“Wrapping her arms around his torso and engulfing him in one last hug, she wishes she could just stay tangled up with him forever. Her head pressed against the soft skin of his collar bones, thumb tracing over the skin between his tattoo and his watch.
She was the first to pull away, giving him a little peck on the lips before pulling him down the stairs of the large house, and to the front door. Down each of the stairs, Shawn’s grip on her hand squeezed a little tighter, and she smiled a little bit at his overprotective nature.
Before they got the chance to walk out the front door, Y/N glanced up at the nursery right across from their shared bedroom. From where she stood, she could see the bright yellow walls, and the shadow of one of the mobiles they’d hung up over the pretty little crib.
Shawn noticed her gaze, looking into the nursery and smiling a little to himself. His eyes crinkled at the edges at his smile, adoration for his wife and future child growing more and more (if that was even possible).
Turning around, Y/N held onto Shawn every second that she could before he hopped into his car. She pressed her lips against him another time, leaning against the doorframe as she watched his tall body step down the driveway and into the large black vehicle.
“Be safe, baby. I love you both!” Shawn sticks his head out of the window a bit as he yells. The wheels turn a little faster, and Y/N shoots him a happy wave before he drives away.
She already misses him.
-
Trust was the key to any functioning relationship. Without trust in one another, the relationship wasn’t possible. And without belief in another person’s abilities, any sort of growth in the relationship was restrained too.
Shawn and Y/N had always trusted each other. Whether it was with embarrassing secrets, or small details that didn’t mean anything to other people. Nothing was really a secret to them, more like a truth that hadn’t been spoken.
Most days Y/N wanted to wrap herself up in Shawn, and hold him so close that she became part of him. But with him on tour, it was hard not to think of him every second of the day. Especially when she was holding part of him inside of her, quite literally.
It wasn’t like she wanted to lose trust in him, or stop believing him all of a sudden. But she’d been trying to talk to him and he just hadn’t replied. Y/N Had spoken more to Geoff (who was on tour with him), than she had with Shawn the past few days.
So what was she supposed to think, when she saw pictures of him with her.
Y/N didn’t mind Shawn hanging out with celebrities, or other girls. She trusted him, believed in him, and she had close guy friends of her own. It didn’t matter much to her, because he wasn’t ever really one to try to control her decisions either. They loved each other in the purest way possible, and that made their abilities to trust just that much easier.
Y/N remembered when she’d first met Shawn. He was in his early twenties, sitting at the counter of the bar she waited for (to get through college) with glass after glass of whiskey in his hand. She’d eventually told Louis (the bartender) to cut him off, after noticing the curly headed boy begin to slump off the chair.
Calling an Uber to the bar, she remembered pulling him off of the seat of the bar, and trying to get his address out of him to tell the uber driver. Y/N was a struggling student in college, yes, but she wouldn’t let someone obviously intoxicated just stumble out alone. She planned on paying for his ride back, if it meant he would be safe.
But when she’d heard him mumble something about how she would hit him if he got home late. How she’d been hitting him, and when she noticed the hints of purple and pink on the biceps of his arms, she decided she really had no choice but to help him, and preferably not send him home.
So, using all of the tips for that night, Y/N booked him a hotel room. She crashed on the couch next to the bed, and when he woke up in the morning (after throwing up from his hangover), he sobbed to her about all of the horrible things his girlfriend was doing to him back home.
And that’s how Shawn and Y/N met.
Y/N wouldn’t have a problem with Shawn talking to other girls. As mentioned before, she wouldn’t have any problem with any models, or any other artists. Talking was talking, and there wasn’t much more to it.
But it was her, and that made it a different story.
If she closed her eyes hard enough, Y/N could still remember the broken glass on the floor of his condo, and the harsh yelling she’d heard as Shawn walked in the morning after. She remembered hiding in her car, waiting for the screaming to stop before eventually walking into intervene herself.
She never knew how broken someone could be until she met Shawn.
But there he was, smiling happily as he walked down the streets of New York with the girl who’d hurt him more than anyone ever had. Heather hadn’t just hurt him, she’d broken him, and any ounce of trust he’d possessed.
Y/N had stood by him.
She was there when he moved his things out of the condo, and into the temporary apartment he would stay at while he worked on trying to feel safe. She was the one who checked on him every other day, and brought him burgers at the bar she used to work at. On the days he’d feel low, she’d rush into her car after class and pick up freshly baked scones from her bakery on the way to see him.
Shawn always believed Y/N hadn’t been the one who fixed him, but reinvented him entirely. Into someone he was proud of.
So when Y/N picks up her phone, ringing in her ears as she patiently awaits Shawn’s voice, her foot taps against the hardwood floor of their kitchen. The tabloid picture is displayed on the computer in front of her, and she grabs the baguette off of her kitchen counter, stressfully taking a bite out of it.
A dial tone fills her ears, and she’s worried, but more so angry at his actions. She lets the tone continue on, waiting until a small beep fills her ears and she leaves a short message for her husband.
“Hey, so uhm…I saw you were hanging out with Heather again. I just wanted an explanation? I don’t know, I love you, call me back.”
And she hangs up the phone.
-
It’s 9 PM. Y/N has a bowl of popcorn perfectly balanced on her baby bump, an episode of a vampire show on the television as she pops kernel after kernel into her mouth. She laughs, giggling a bit at the words at one of the characters, and just as she’s enjoying herself she hears annoying ringing fill her ears.
Wiping the popcorn crumbs on her soft cotton shorts, she reaches over Shawn’s side of the bed to pick up her phone. When she sees his name glowing across the screen, she quickly swipes the small phone icon and presses the phone to her ear.
“Baby!” She enthusiastically says. She hears rustling on the other side of the line before hearing her husband’s voice. But when he speaks, she notices a certain strain to his voice.
“Hey. Just wanted to check up on the baby.” He says. She frowns, sad that he didn’t want to check up on her but she just figures its slipped his mind.
“She’s doing well, really hungry today though.” Y/N pops another kernel of popcorn into her mouth.
“Yeah…” Shawn trails off. Y/N frowns, it felt a bit off and awkward talking to him. They were never awkward, they were always laughing or talking about at least something. But his responses were short and the awkward silence told her otherwise.
“I got your message.” Y/N is reminded of the horrible picture she saw earlier. The thought of Heather alone made her blood poil, and her cheeks turn red, so the thought of them together just made her even more upset.
Rubbing her eyes, she replies, “Yeah. What’s up with that picture anyways?”
She hears Shawn sighing on the other side of the line. She can almost picture him gnawing on the sides of his cheeks, feet scuffling against the floor as he nervously thinks.
“She messaged me on Instagram, you know, since I blocked her number.” Shawn says. He knows Y/N absolutely despises Heather, and he treads on thin ice as he carefully speaks.
“Mmhmm.” Y/N presses him on.
“So we, we went out for coffee. And she said she was sorry for all the uh - the hitting and she just wanted to get back on good terms.” He quickly finishes.
Y/N is angry. She’s quite flustered at it, yes, at the fact that her husband had even given her the chance of apologizing at all. But she knew it wasn’t her life, and that it wasn’t necessarily her decision whether or not he accepted her apology or not.
Y/N still didn’t believe her intentions were pure, though.
Although she’s a quite upset, she swirls her hand carelessly around the remaining popcorn in her bowl and assures him that it’s fine. SHe tells him she’s mad, yes, but that she understands he’s a kind person who’s much more forgiving than she is.
She’s fine, until.
“Also I invited her to our baby party.” And Y/N blows out the piece of popcorn that she’d just thrown in her mouth, the small piece falling onto the blanket in front of her.
“You what?” Her tone completely changes, voice stern and she doesn’t think he notices.
“I just wanted to give her another chance. I mean, she seemed really upset.” He defends himself, and no matter how pure his intentions seem, she’s overwhelmed with anger at the confession.
Their baby party was supposed to be a personal event, one so personal that Y/N wasn’t even thinking about inviting her own college friends. They’d agreed on family and close friends only, so Y/N couldn’t get through her head why Shawn would’ve ever thought it was a good idea to invite his abusive ex girlfriend to an event like that.
“Shawn I-” Y/N swallows, frustration jumbling up her words, “Why would you do that?” She grumbles.
“Because she was a big part of our lives, and-”
“Not in a good way!” Y/N interrupts. She perches herself up on her elbows when the conversation gets more serious.
“If it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t have met!” Shawn points out. Y/N openly laughs at his words, the situation seeming so ludicrous to her that she didn’t have a choice but to sarcastically laugh.
“If it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have left your condo for two months because looking at it made you have panic attacks. If it weren’t for her, you’d actually have been able to sleep at night instead of having to take pills during the entirety of the year after you both broke up.” Y/N rants. She knows he’s just trying to be a nice person, but part of her believes he acted out of fear rather than interest.
“Y/N, it’s my party too. Why can’t I just invite who I want to, it’s not like i’m forcing you to be friends with her.”
Y/N tugs at the scrunchie on her wrist, going to tie her hair up as she sets the phone to speaker and lays it on the bed. While she gathers her hair into one big bunch, she continues their semi argument.
“I’m sorry, Shawn. I didn’t realize you were the one literally holding another human being inside of you for 9 months!” She exclaims, scrunchie pulling her hair closer as she continues to tie it.
“You’re so fucking hormonal right now, it’s like I can’t even have a simple discussion with you.”
Y/N feels a small twinge of hurt tug at her chest, right above her full tummy, but she quickly gathers enough words to reply.
“Well if i’m so fucking hormonal, you just shouldn’t have knocked me up! Maybe then we could have a ‘civilized conversation’.” Even though he can’t see her, she sits defensively with her arms propped over her chest, the bowl of popcorn now resting on Shawn’s side of the bed.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
Y/N audibly gasps, grabbing for her phone and hanging up the call before either of them can say another word. She feels the prick of hurt from earlier spreading, gnawing at her insides as she lets a few tears slip out. She could admit that the hormones were making her a bit emotional, but she knew it was irrational - pregnant or not - to have her at their personal party, to invite Heather back into their lives.
Pressing her teary eyes back onto her vampire show, Y/N feels the thumps of her baby’s legs on her tummy as she lulls herself to sleep.
-
“Andrew, you know those tour dates in the lower east that you took off so that I could go back early?”
Andrew sits at his hotel desk, glasses off as he watches some documentary about whales on Netflix. Shawn notices the fluffy hotel robe he has on, and it cheers him up a little bit from the argument he just had with his wife.
“Andrew turns to look at him, eyes squinting a bit as he focuses on who it is, but after realizing it’s Shawn he nods and awaits more dialogue.
“You can add them back, I don’t think i’m going home that soon.” Andrew raises an eyebrow, but he knows that trying to convince Shawn otherwise won’t get him anywhere. So he just silently nods, asks him if everything’s okay, and types away at his laptop to the publicists of the tour.
-
They haven’t talked in a few days.
Y/N even thinks of flying out to where he is in the US, but she doesn’t want to put a dent that big in her bank account, and she doesn’t want to upset him if he doesn’t want her there.
She’d called him about twice in the five days they haven’t spoken, and she knew that she wanted to speak to him at least once before he came back. She wanted them to be happy, no matter how much she thought she was the right one on the situation.
Sighing, she calls his phone one more, wishing for - but knowing she won’t hear - the sound of his voice, instead of the same godforsaken dial tone she’d heard so many times in the past few days.
Leaving him yet another message, she clicks off the phone and tries to drown her sorrows in the last pint of Cherry Garcia they had in their freezer.
-
When Y/N wakes up in the middle of the night, she’s sweatier than usual.
Her legs are tired, and they feel heavy when she tries to move. Her neck is slick with sweat, and her messy bun has been undone at some point in the night. She hears the echoing of some advertisement playing on the large television, and she wants to close her eyes and slip back into slumber.
Then, her stomach aches.
A lot.
She gasps, hand flying out to rest on her tummy, her leg shifts a bit at her action and she feels a puddle of liquid under her thigh.
She doesn’t want to admit it to herself, really doesn’t because she’s panicking and she doesn’t know what to do. She was supposed to drive with Shawn when it happened, and more importantly he was supposed to be there with her.
She knew Ubers wouldn’t like a woman in labor in the backseat of their cars, and she also knew that it was a Thursday night, so all of the sorority girls and frat boys would be drunkenly dialing all of the ubers towards themselves, and she didn’t have time to wait.
She doesn’t think she’s in any state to drive. She quickly crawls off the bed, accidentally knocking the bowl of popcorn she was eating the night before off of the nightstand. She unplugs her phone from the charger, and rests in between contractions. She knows at that point they were rather far apart, and takes the time to her advantage.
Immediately clicking on her husband’s contact, she tries to call it, wishing with everything in her that he cares enough to pick up the phone. When she’s met with that stupid dial tone, however, she doesn’t curse in frustration, but instead begins to cry.
The biggest moment of her life and her husband - who was supposed to be there - wasn’t even picking up his phone.
She stumbles onto the floor, crying into her knees with her phone held in her hand. She breathes unevenly, and scrolls through her contacts to look for any people who could possibly help her.
Clicking on a familiar name, she holds the phone up to her ear.
“Hello?”
Y/N sighs through her tears in relief.
“Andrew?”
-
Strumming at the chords of his guitar, Zuben and Mike sitting in front of him, Shawn sits in a soft t-shirt and sweatpants. Boston was rather chilly, ad the heating in the hotel took a longer time than he thought to kick on.
For the past few days, Shawn had been dodging his wife’s calls. He was already stressed from the tour, ad he didn’t want to add onto that stress to listen to his wife yell at him. Plus, if it was really urgent, she would’ve left voicemails or messages, and he hadn’t received any that he knew of.
His phone buzzes on the table next to him, and Shawn sets his guitar down before sighing and turning over the screen. He quickly presses the off button, disconnecting the call as he goes back to strumming his guitar.
“Who was that?” Mike asks, looking interested at how quickly Shawn hung up.
“My wife.” Shawn simply replies, and he’s brought to the realization that saying it out loud makes it sound worse than he thought.
“Isn’t she pregnant?” Zuben trails off, joining in on their conversation, “Like, really pregnant?”
Shawn nods, eyes cloudy as he envisions the cute little baby bump on Y/N’s stomach, he’s happy for a bit before he remembers their argument, and then he just gets tense all over again.
“Maybe you should call her back…” Mike trails off, and Shawn is quick to defend himself,
“I’m not talking to her right now. And plus, she isn’t due for another few weeks.” Zuben and Mike give each other a look, but shrug it off before going back to scrolling through their phones when they realize it’s not their business to meddle.
There’s an insistent knocking on the door that interrupts them soon after, and Shawn’s annoyed at the constant interruptions. He just wanted to sit, strum his guitar, and stop worrying, but it didn’t seem like that was possible at this point.
Shawn walks to the door in a few steps, swinging it open quickly so that he can get back to songwriting, but Andrew stands in front of the door, face palely flushed with his hair messy and his clothes wrinkled.
“Andrew why are-”
“Your wife is in labor. I’ve booked you a flight that leaves in 30 minutes, so stop trying to ignore her and pack everything you need.”
Shawn widens his eyes, a million thoughts rushing to his head. He certainly wasn’t expecting it, and he can’t help the metallic taste in his mouth as his guilt draws tears into his eyes. His body moves erratically, shifting between processing the information and moving to pack his things.
-
Y/N lays tiredly on the hospital bed.
Nurses try to hand her papers. They’d originally asked her where the husband was, because normally after a child’s birth the father was apparently the person who’d fill out all of the paperwork, but Shawn hadn’t shown up. So she was alone in a hospital room, the smell of saline solution filling her senses as she waited for anyone to walk through the door.
She didn’t picture one of the most amazing moments in her life to play out like this.
Eyes red, her stomach is still sore from all of the effort she put in in trying to push out her child. Her entire body feels sore as she shakily grabs the pen and the forms, her tears dribbling onto the papers. She gives up, throwing them onto the edge of the bed as she tucks her head into her palms and lets out a sob.
She can’t tell what hurts more, her stomach or her chest.
Y/N hadn’t expected her family to be there, she assured them that it was fine. After all, she did live in a separate country from them. She thought Shawn would invite his family, maybe a few of their close friends.
But after she’d given birth all alone - something that was supposed to be monumental - without the father of the child, even her baby was absent from her hands as it was gone to be held by the nurse when she filled out the papers.
Her hands shaking, she grabs the pen in her slim fingers, taking a deep breath and trying to write down her name and address once more. The pen slips out of her weak grasp, onto the floor, and Y/N breaks down crying again.
She hears a rush of footsteps flood into the lobby of the hospital, but she focuses on the sound of her own sniffles. Her head is tucked between her shaky knees and she’s sure the nurses think she’s absolutely insane.
“Y/N?” She hears a familiar voice say, and she thinks she’s hallucinating, shaking her head and tucking her head between her knees. She feels her head pound, undoubtedly from how tired she was, having not slept nearly enough the night before from endlessly pushing for hours.
Alone.
“Baby?” She hears a shaky voice say. She looks up to see her husband, red eyes matching her own. His eyes are glazed over and puffy, tears threatening to pour over the rims once again.
“Leave.” She simply tells him, reaching forward to grab the clipboard of papers so that he can’t do anything to help her. She didn’t want his help anymore, didn’t want him to feel like he was doing anything right at all.
She sees him swipe up and rub two tears out of his eyes.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“Shawn, i’m not a kid. You can’t lie to me, and-” Y/N takes in a deep breath, lips chapped as she stares at her husband “expect me to be okay”. Her arms are wrapped around her chest, and Y/N thinks she’s holding herself together at the amount of hurt she feels.
“I didn’t think-” he lets out a sob, t-shirt sticking to his chest at how sweaty he is from running across the airport, and through some of the streets to the hospital, “I’m sorry.”
“Stop it.” Y/N sternly tells him, “Stop saying you’re sorry to make yourself feel better. I’ve been here alone for-” She cuts herself off. Remembering the painful feeling of enduring the most hurtful feeling she’d felt in her entire life, without anyone she loved besides her. Y/N had always envisioned what it would be like, giving birth, but as she realized no one would come to help her, she’d questioned every bit of trust she had for Shawn.
“Shawn, I don’t even feel like I married you.” She weakly lets out, her voice shaky from all of the panic she’s going through at the moment. Shawn wants to fix things, he wants more than ever to fix things but for the first time since they’ve been dating, he doesn’t know how.
“My husband wouldn’t do this to me.” And Shawn breaks, hands gripping onto her hospital bed as he closes his eyes and prays that they’ll be okay.
“I just, I feel so dumb. I thought you wouldn’t do this, but you just, you did.” She can’t put together her thoughts very adequately, but when she sees the nurse holding her newborn child walk into the hospital room, she quickly rushes to hold her arms out, tears halting.
“Oh, baby.” Y/N coos, looking at the little peaceful girl lying in her arms. She feels Shawn linger behind her, heart probably bursting in adoration as he stares at his child.
“Shawn, remember when you, when you got that apartment for the first few weeks after you and Heather ended things?” Shawn’s not sure why Y/N’s bringing her into the situation but he nods nonetheless, hearing whatever she has to say out.
“I think…I think we should spend some time apart…just until things get better.”
“Y/N, please, you can’t-” She hears him cry out, she shakes her head, eyes focused on her daughter as she replies, “I married you, thinking you’d always be there for me.” She feels the emptiness of her tummy, knowing the pain she’s just gone through without him. And Shawn hurts a bit as he hears her next few words, wishing he’d never muttered them in the first place.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
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Princess
Y/N finds out that Shawn calls her princess because of his inability to get over his ex, whom he also called princess.
Very angsty
Word Count: 4K
-
“Hello princess.”
A pair of warm lips presses against Y/N’s forehead. The second she feels the light from the window glare through onto her tired eyes, she rushes to lift the sheets onto her face to hide herself from the painful rays.
Shawn laughs at her actions, swiftly lifting them before climbing in under the sheets right next to her. He grabs at her waist, and just as she thinks he’s about to pull her into him like he always does, he instead squeezes at her sides, making her laugh and jump up out of the sheets.
“Shawn!” She squeals, grabbing the nearest pillow to hit at him with the fluffy material. He flinches at the crisp material thudding against his bare chest, grabbing the pillow under his head and sitting up. He’s wearing nothing but his boxers, allowing Y/N to admire the tattoos along his arms.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He raises the pillow in his grasp. Y/N widens her eyes, slowly backing away from the bed and then quickly sprinting into the restroom before Shawn can catch up to her.
“I’ll get you back princess!”
-
Y/N is flipping pancakes on the stove, spatula in one hand and the handle of the pan in the other as she focuses on turning the pancakes golden brown. The smell of buttery goodness fills the air and her stomach grumbles.
“Something smells fucking amazing.” Shawn declares as he jogs out of his bedroom, finally wearing some shorts but still lacking a shirt. Y/N didn’t mind, though.
“Morning princess.” He lays a kiss to her lips, their lips making a small smacking sound as they both pull apart. Y/N smells the scent of coconut body wash on him, the same kind she’s just recently purchased and placed in his bathroom.
“Shawn, did you use my body wash?” She humors. Looking behind her, she realizes he stands frozen, the water bottle he was going to drink out of frozen in mid air as he searches for words to speak.
“…no?” He tries to reason, even though they both already know the answer to her question.
“You’re adorable.” She presses on, poking at his toned stomach before turning back around to flip at her pancakes.
When she pours the last of the batter into the pan, she throws the dirty bowl into the sink to be washed later. Shawn leans onto the counter, eyes switching from admiring her to flicking onto his phone.
“Do you have any plans today?” He asks, breaking the comfortable silence. Y/N watched bubbles form on the uncooked side of the pancakes and begins lifting the edges of the floppy disk up.
“No, I think I finished all of my homework yesterday. Why?”
Shawn leans forward, wrapping one arm around her waist as he elaborates, “My friends are hosting a little get together, and Brian can’t have it at his place because his brother is coming into town. I thought maybe I could host it here? Unless you’d be uncomfortable with that. In which case I definitely won’t.”
Y/N is quick to respond, “No, Shawn, it’s your place. Of course you can host it here, you shouldn’t even have to ask.” She smiles, tilting her head up to stare at him. He nudges their noses together softly and Y/N almost feels like awwing at his cuteness.
“I can’t wait for you to meet my friends.” He tells her, his lips brushing against hers at their proximity. She lets out a hum of approval, tilting her head forwards to flip the final pancake. She figures the remaining heat from the pan will cook it, and reaches forward to switch the heat off.
After she flops the final pancake onto the stack, she walks over to place it in the center of the table. She grabs the pitcher of syrup from the counter, and sits in the heavy chair that she’s sure probably costed an unreasonable amount.
“So what are they like?” She asks. Shawn raises an eyebrow, looking at her in confusion before she elaborates.
“Your friends, tell me about them.”
Shawn’s face quickly switches in realization as he smiles and begins speaking.
“Well they’re the best. I mean, i’ve been friends with them since I was practically a baby. Brian, Matt, and Ian all go to Trent. And they can be just a tad bit stupid, but so can all college guys, so just forgive them if they act a little off.”
“They may bring some of their own college friends who I don’t even know, but if they’re anything like the boys they’ll be cool with whatever.”
Y/N giggles, cutting into her stack of syrup soaked pancakes before replying, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a bit nervous.”
“You’re amazing baby, I know they’ll love you.” He reaches across the table, one hand lifting a forkful of pancakes up to his lips as the other grips her slim fingers in his own. She reaches for the can of whipped cream, spraying some all over her pancakes and then pressing the nozzle onto her lips and spraying some into her mouth.
He leans across the table, long legs making him able to press his lips to here that are lined with whipped cream.
“You missed a spot, princess.”
-
People start crowding in at around 7. A few boys show up with two six packs of beer and some glass bottles of different colored liquids. Y/N stands near the kitchen counter, lingering as everyone converses. They all know each other, and Shawn’s disappeared into the crowd of people, so Y/N shyly sips at the glass of bitter liquid in front of her.
Most of his friends, including Shawn, seem to be seated on the couch, laughing away at their old high school memories. Just as they’re done discussing a particular high school hockey game, she notices Shawn motioning towards her.
Not knowing what else to do, she walks over to where he’s seated on the couch, resting her hands on his relaxed shoulders.
“We met a few months ago and I didn’t grow the balls to ask her out until a month ago, she’s kind so don’t try to corrupt her like I know you all will do.” He shoots a playful glare at his friends and they let out friendly insults towards him.
“Nice to meet you.” She pathetically and awkwardly waves, immediately cursing herself after. Shawn grabs at her hands on his shoulders, pulling them forwards to kiss one of her knuckles before intertwining his fingers with hers around his neck.
The two of them stay like that for a while. Shawn’s friends talk about a number of subjects, Starting from Ian’s first kiss in 6th grade, to the time Brian got drunk for the first time and threw up the next day in one of the biology beakers from his hangover. Y/N laughs along with them, not conversing but absorbing the moment. She hears a small buzzing sound and her eyes shoot down to where Shawn’s phone is buzzing from a phone call.
“Excuse me gentlemen.” Shawn says, lifting himself from the center of the leather couch while using Ian and Matt’s knees for support.
“I’ll be right back, princess.” He tells Y/N, leaning forward to give her a peck on the lips. She lingers on the way how lips are soft, and slightly tainted with the taste of cheap beer.
When he walks away, she notices two girls at the corner of the room shooting her a confused look while talking amongst each other. She notices that the look doesn’t look disgusted, or angry, just simply confused.
She walks to the kitchen area, trying to wash the regrettable taste of whiskey off of her lips. Just as she’s poured herself a glass of water, one of the girls from before walks into the kitchen.
“Would you mind pouring me a glass as well?” She asks politely. She’s beautiful, short brown locks framing her small face perfectly. Her baggy button up shirt is fashionably tucked into her baggy jeans.
“No problem.” Y/N smiles, she could use a friend, especially one who was close to Shawn as well. She knew she’d be going to more of these ‘get togethers’ (excuses for friends to get drunk and talk about the dumb things they did in high school), and it would be good if she had people aside from her own thoughts to interact with.
She quickly fills a clear glass with water, handing it over to the girl who towers over her by a few inches.
“Y/N? I think your name was?” She asks, making small talk.
Y/N takes a sip of her drink, “Yeah, I don’t think I caught your name though.”
“Oh, it’s fine.” She laughs, “I’m Leah. And I was going to say I love your name, it’s beautiful.” She compliments sweetly. Y/N smiles, thanking her before asking her how she’s doing.
“Oh, m’alright. Finals week is really kicking everyone’s ass but I finished last week so i’m just a little less stressed than everyone else.” Y/N nods, her having studies for upwards of five hours the day before. Luckily Shawn had made her dinner, and reminded her to eat between study breaks.
They continue talking to each other about simple things. Y/N learns Leah was one of Shawn’s close friends from back home, and Leah dishes on all of the embarrassing things Shawn did as a child. She talks about the time he fell off of the tree that was in the playground of the elementary school, and how all the other kids praised him for his bravery. About how they all called him curly for a year in high school from the change in his hair, something he hates remembering.
“Shawn’s the sweetest. Did I tell you about the time he accidentally dropped an entire cake on Belle? It was their anniversary too, poor thing.” She laughs, “Probably why she dumped him.”
Y/N laughs initially, the realization not hitting her yet. But then she backtracks on Leah’s words and she can’t help but question, “Belle?”
Leah, who’s clearly just a bit tipsy as she’s been sipping on gin all night, answer quickly “Yeah, the model girl Shawn dated. Really kind, brunette, models in LA.”
Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, her thoughts jumbling up. As far as she was concerned, she’d never heard of Shawn dating a girl named Belle before. She was familiar with Lauren, his first real girlfriend, and she was familiar with his publicity relationships and his flings, but not with this girl.
“You know, I assumed he had a type. She was so incredibly nice and he’d always be wrapping his arms around her and PDA-ing at all of our get togethers. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t adorable, really reminds me of you two actually.” Y/N knows Leah doesn’t mean to deepen her confusion, as she continues to senselessly ramble without knowing what she’s saying.
“Weird. Shawn’s never mentioned her to me.” Y/N quietly says, staring at the floor tiles and shuffling with her sock clad feet. Shawn hadn’t ever even mentioned the name before.
“I think we were all a bit surprised when he mentioned he’d been dating a girl for a whole month. Belle dumped him, what was it? 2 months ago I think?” She sips at her glass again, “He was devastated, Brian told me he even thought he loved her.”
Leah reaches for a different glass, one with a caramel colored liquid and she pours it into what was initially her water glass, “Want a pour?” She asks hazily. Y/N shakes her head, her mind hurting from processing all of the new information.
“I’ve never heard of her before.” Y/N doesn’t want to face the facts but it seems as if they’re laid out right in front of her. She can’t help it when her stomach twists up into knots, soaking up the information.
He’d started talking to her around two months ago. They’d become official in just a month, Y/N knew that there was no way he would’ve completely gotten over a girl in that time, especially one who seemed that serious.
“And he calls you princess too, that was so…” Leah stumbles on her words, slurring a bit, “…confusing”
“Why’s that?” Shawn had called her that for as long as she remembered. She could recall him opening the door to his jeep for her on the first date and calling her by the name, could remember him sneaking up behind her on dates and calling her that name.
“Well, you see Belle is the name of a Disney princess. Belle loved those movies, that’s why he called her that.” Leah explains, and Y/N can feel her heart practically break. She doesn’t want to believe it, really doesn’t, but she can’t help herself.
“He even took her to Disney world for her birthday. He’d call her that so much that people would think her name was actually princess.” Leah laughs to herself, “And it’s like…like..you two are so similar and now he calls you that too?” Her eyebrows raise, “Awkward.”
Y/N doesn’t listen to any more before shuffling quickly out of the kitchen into the living room where his friends are all drunkenly singing along to some song on his couch. Her fingers are shaking with fear, and she tries not to showcase it by tucking her hands into her pockets.
“Have any of you seen Shawn?” She asks, and all of them are too inebriated to give her an answer. They continue either talking, laughing a bit too loudly, or singing along to the out of date song.
“Haven’t seen him since he picked up that phone call.” Geoff tells her, his arm around a skinny blonde woman. They seem to be sober enough to keep their minds intact, and Y/N walks towards the door to Shawn’s bedroom, hearing his voice speak.
She stops, pressing her ear onto the crack of the door softly.
“I thought you would be here”
Y/N isn’t sure who he’s talking to, but she mentally battles inside her head whether she should barge in or not. On one hand, her mind is practically exploding with thought, but on the other, she wants to talk with her boyfriend to discuss things with him.
“You’re in Toronto right? When do you go back to LA?”
She snaps out of her thoughts, listening in more intently on his conversation. She knows she shouldn’t be doing this, eavesdropping on her boyfriend’s conversation, but she catches herself looking for answers.
“Princess, everyone wants you here.” She hears him say and her heart breaks just a little bit. She unwillingly feels tears well up in her eyes, hand shooting up to her head as she feels herself getting worked up.
“Belle I miss you.” She hears through the doorway and she knows there’s no way what Leah said was wrong. She hopes she misheard what she said, wnts to wish for the best. She thinks any tragic event would be better than what she feels right now, but instead she scrunches her hands up in her hair, tangling it up as she lets a tear fall.
Leaning her body against the door to his room, she slides down it. Her back presses against the cool wood and she doesn’t want to cry, really doesn’t want to let her tears fall, especially on the night when she’s meeting his friends for the first time but it all hits her at once.
She was a rebound.
It was clearly there to see, and now Y/N understands. She notices why, of all the times he’d walked into the bookstore she studied at, he chose that one to ask her out. She understood why he was so incredibly kind to her, so understanding and caring. She knew now why he’d chosen her of all the girls he could possibly have. Because she was easy.
She cries as she remembers every moment they shared. It all makes sense, that time he asked if she wanted to have a Disney movie marathon. She thought he was being sweet, but instead he was selfishly bathing in his own fantasy of what he used to have.
“Princess, you’re the only girl who’s made me feel this way.”
She can’t help but think he closed his eyes, not to bask in the moment, but to pretend the girl he was saying those words to wasn’t her.
“Princess, you’re my favorite person.”
Right after they’d been intimate for the first time, she remembered him gently caressing where her back met her neck, cradling her in his arms. She imagines that’s what he must’ve done with someone else, someone he probably really loved.
She doesn’t have time to think, however, because the door abruptly opens from behind her and she last minute pushes herself up by her hands, sitting on the ground as Shawn towers over her, startled.
“Y/N, what are you doing here?” Hs eyes are wide as he studies her expression carefully, and his features turn to concern.
“Princess, are you crying? What happened?”
Princess.
Y/N almost scoffs. In fact, she would scoff if it weren’t for how dry her throat was from all of the sobbing.
“Belle, huh?” She croaks out, lifting herself off the ground to stand in front of him. She sees Shawn noticeably gulp and she lets herself dribble a few more tears. She knew his answer at that point.
“Was I just a rebound?” She asks quietly, her eyes looking anywhere but at him. They’re bloodshot, and there are tear stains on her navy shirt as she questions him.
“Of course not. Let me explain, you know I wouldn’t do that to you.” He grabs at her hands, trying to uncross them from her chest.
“Princess, pl-”
“Don’t fucking call me that!” Y/N snaps, flinging her arms forward to shake off his grasp. Shawn steps back startled, because he’d never seen his girlfriend act that way towards him before. She was always more quiet. She cared for other people, and seemingly never got angry, no matter how much she had the right to be.
“Don’t call me that when-” She gasps for air through her sobs, “Don’t c-call me that when you only do b-because of h-her.” She swipes at her tears with the back of her hand.
Shawn’s heart breaks in front of him. He’d gotten off the call with Belle, yes. And he’d said he missed her, yes. But he only invited her so he could tell her in person she didn’t hold a place in his heart anymore. For the past week, she’d been trying to contact him to get back together with him, but Shawn knew that what he had with Y/N was undeniably special. So he’d invited her, yes, and he’d told her he missed her, yes, because he did, but he didn’t miss her to get back together with her. He missed her because he needed to talk to her. To tell her that she shouldn’t call anymore, and to perhaps show her that he was happy with someone else.
He never meant for Y/N to find out this way, or at all. His palms can’t help but sweat a bit as he sees her crying in front of him because he doesn’t know how to fix it. He doesn’t know how to explain to her that, while at first, he did use her to get over someone else in a twisted, devious way, that he had fallen for her completely in the process.
“I feel horrible, Shawn.” She sniffles, fists uncurling and curling again at her sides, a tactic she uses to try not to cry.
“You used me, and when that wasn’t enough you tried to pretend like I was her to make yourself feel better.” She grips her teeth into her bottom lip, something Shawn would find attractive and adorable normally, but something that stresses him out now.
“Let me explain, please, you have to let me explain. Let me talk to you.” He reaches forward to hold her but she flinches and backs away.
“Please, I-”
She cuts him off, “And if that wasn’t enough, you proceeded to fucking - to just lie to me about the whole thing? As if I wouldn’t find out? As if I wouldn’t find out that you call me princess because of her and that you dated me because of her and watched Disney movies with me, because of her?” There’s venom in her words as she fires at him.
“What can I do? Tell me what I can do to fix this?” His voice quiets and he practically whimpers when he talks to her. He knows she’ll leave, and that’s the last thing he wants, especially after being dumped carelessly by Belle, he doesn’t want to lose someone else he genuinely cares about, especially from his own actions.
“I thought you liked me.” She pathetically squeaks out, almost laughing to herself, “I actually thought you were different.”
Turning around, she immediately struts back to the living room to grab her purse and leave. Shawn races right behind her, and when his friends notice the tears streaming across her face and the puffy red skin on her cheeks, they all quiet down their drunken chatter.
“Please don’t leave.” Shawn calls out behind her, tears matching her own. His friends noticeably widen their eyes. Even when him and Belle had broken up he never publicly cried in front of everyone else. In fact, he hadn’t publicly cried at all, really. It was more of him sulking for a bit before he looked for ways to get over her.
Meeting Y/N had made him realize that relationships weren’t supposed to be constant adventure, but were also supposed to be a certain level of comfort. Something she provided to him when she actually listened, and showcased her care for him.
“It was nice meeting you all. I don’t think i’ll be coming back here though.” She tries to smile past puffy cheeks and swollen eyes, slipping on her shoes and trying to open the door. When she swings it bac, she sees Shawn reach out to stop the door from opening fully.
“You’re not her, you’re better. Let me explain.” He asks her, and he receives an answer when she walks out of the condo and lets the door click right behind her.
twenty- something dads (Shawn Mendes x Reader)
request: hi! I was wondering if you could write something where the reader is a marvel actress and she brings shawn on set and like Anthony, Sebastian or Chris P. make fun of him jokingly :) thanks!!
a/n: i absolutely loved this idea, i had to start writing the second i saw it. thank you to whoever sent this, it’s not my best but i hope you enjoy! requests are still open!
warnings: language
“Where’s that boyfriend of yours?” Sebastian asked after barely four seconds of waiting outside with you.
“He’s coming.” You crossed your arms, trying to forget about the cold.
“He’s late.”
You rolled your eyes, nudging him with your shoulder, “By two minutes.”
“Two minutes and twenty seconds now,” he shrugged, looking down at you with a shit-eating grin.
“You don’t have to wait with me.”
He scoffed, “Yes I do. We agreed that someone had to be here to greet him, show him who he’s messing with.”
“What?” you blinked in shock, “When did we agree to that?”
“Oh, you weren’t there. It was between me and the guys.”
“Then they could have chosen someone with more muscle,” you muttered, rolling your eyes.
“What – “
You ignored him, rushing forward as you noticed Shawn’s black car pull into the lot, “There he is!”
The second he stepped out of his car you practically jumped into his arms, a surprised chuckled leaving him as he wrapped his arms around you.
“Someone missed me,” he whispered as you cuddled deeper into him.
“You have no idea.” He didn’t miss the sense of urgency in your voice, his grip on your waist tightening. It had been two months since the two of you had seen each other in person. Between his touring and your busy shooting schedule, your visits had become few and far between.
“Honey,” you heard his calming voice in your ear a few moments later, “The winter soldier is giving me the death stare.”
Your body began to shake as giggles left your mouth, muffled by Shawn’s shoulder.
You stepped away from him looking up at his glowing expression, “I’m so sorry for what you’re going to endure today.”
“I’m sure I can handle it,” he winked, giving your waist another squeeze and stepping away to let you turn and face Sebastian.
You were silent as you reached him, your left hand tightly gripping Shawn’s. You tried to catch Sebastian’s eye, hoping to give him stern expression, but his hard eyes were trained on your boyfriend.
“What are your intentions with my daughter?”
“Sebastian!” You scolded, the surprise evident in your voice.
“What?” He grinned down at you innocently.
Shawn let go of your hand, stepping forward and extending it to Sebastian, “It’s an honor to meet you, sir.”
Sebastian sniggered, taking his hand and listening to your boyfriend continue, “I think your daughter is one of the best people I’ve ever met, and I would really like it if you would give us your blessing.”
You rolled your eyes, placing your head in your hand dramatically. You were dating such a dork.
“I like you,” Your head snapped up at Sebastian’s voice, the two doing the weird bro-hug before turning to face you.
“See,” Shawn grinned, “I told you I got this.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself Mendes,” Sebastian smirked, “I’m just the first dad. She’s got, like – twenty more?”
“Bye Seb!” You placed your hand into Shawn’s waiting one, pulling him into the doorway.
He chuckled at your eagerness to get away from Sebastian, letting you lead him through the different sets.
“Do you want a tour?” You asked, turning back at him, smiling as you noticed his wide eyes looking around you in shock, trying to take everything in.
“This place is fucking huge,” he practically whispered, the awe apparent in his voice.
You laughed, nodding, “You should see the south lot.”
You walked along the rows of crewmembers, cameras and extras lining the halls, Shawn’s mouth open and eyes wide as he tried to absorb everything you were telling him.
“I’m not allowed to show you everything,” You shrugged, “Marvel policy or something, but I’ll try to take you to all the important – ”
“Y/n!” A loud voice interrupted you.
“Oh God.” You groaned, placing your forehead on Shawn’s chest as he chuckled, “Please tell me that wasn’t Anthony.”
“Sorry honey.”
You could practically feel Mackie’s presence behind you, “Y/n! Are you going to introduce me to your stud-muffin, or are you going to keep dry- humping in the hallway?”
“Mackie!” you groaned, spinning around and glaring at him.
“What’s up, Mendes?” He ignored you, his condescending stare on the tall boy behind you.
“Nice to meet you, man,” Shawn extended his hand; you recognized his signature polite expression.
Anthony took his hand, a hesitant expression on his face, “What’s your annual income?”
You choked on your breath, “What the fuck!”
“Woah.” Anthony took a step back, “First of all, language. Second of all, I need to make sure you’ll be taken care of when I’m no longer in the picture.”
“What? You don’t take care of me now!” You threw your hands up dramatically, you could hear Shawn’s chuckles behind you, which almost made you smile, but you had to stay stern.
“Oh really?” Anthony crossed his arms, “What about the time I bought you tea?”
“You made me pay you back,” you laughed, “With interest.”
“Honestly, you’re so ungrateful,” He shook his head dramatically, turning to Shawn with a somber expression, “You deserve better.”
“I really don’t, but thank you for looking out,” Shawn snickered, pinching your hip when he noticed your expression.
“Anything for you man.” Mackie nodded, slightly glaring at you and walking away.
“What,” you released a breath, “the hell just happened.”
Shawn shrugged, “I think I made a new friend.”
You laughed, throwing your head back, “Well I’m glad you’re having fun. Next stop, food.”
He grinned, taking your hand and spinning you under his arm, “You read my mind, love.”
You lead him to the craft table, biting your lip as you noticed the people seated around it.
You took a deep breath and walked over to the expecting gazes of Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr.
“Hey guys,” you coughed, “This is my boyfriend, Shawn.”
No one made a move so Shawn took a step forward, “Nice to meet you, I’m a big fan.”
“But I’m your favorite,” Robert moved the orange sunglasses down his nose, “Right?”
Shawn’s eyes traveled over Chris who gave him a challenging look and smiled, “I’m not sure I should answer that, sir.”
“Sir?” Chris snorted, “You’ve trained him well, y/n.”
You chuckled, watching with a smile as he eagerly shook Shawn’s hand and patted his back, “Welcome to the family.”
“Woah!” Robert crossed his arms, “You don’t have the jurisdiction to do that.”
Chris rolled his eyes, “Then who does? You?”
Robert nodded, “Well – ”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself old man,” Chris laughed, sending him a teasing grin. You took this time to lead Shawn to the other side of the table, over to the sweets section. Stacks of muffins and cookies at your disposal “Dig in,” You smiled.
“Y/n?” You heard someone clear his throat, you felt Shawn tense next to you as he recognized the voice.
You shut your eyes before turning around with a small smile, “Hey Tom.”
“Hey.” Tom Holland responded, his hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes flying over you and Shawn.
“This is Shawn,” you said, motioning to your boyfriend, who in turn took a step forward, extending his hand, polite as ever. You knew he had a deep dislike for Tom ever since the older boy expressed his liking to you and asked you out. You were quick in shutting him down and explaining that you had a boyfriend, but Shawn was never completely comfortable with the fact that you spent almost every day with Tom, especially since he was on the other side of the world most of the time.
“Nice to finally meet you, man,” Tom nodded, gripping your boyfriend’s hand, maybe a little tighter than necessary.
“You too.” Shawn’s voice was tight, making you wrap your arm around him the second he separated from Tom.
“How are you liking the set?” Tom coughed, the situation growing more uncomfortable by the second.
“Loving it.” Shawn nodded.
“I haven’t even shown him the best part,” You smiled, “We’re going to stage D next.”
“That’s great, I’m sure you’re going to like it.” Tom smiled, eyes glancing to yours.
Shawn coughed, “I’m sure I will.”
“Well I’ll see you guys later,” Tom nodded, taking a step back and giving you both a warm smile.
“See you,” you returned the grin, Shawn just nodding.
Once Tom was out of sight you released a breath, “That went well.”
Shawn frowned, eyes trained on the wall Tom went behind, “He still likes you.”
You hummed, stepping closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and looking up at his warm eyes, “Doesn’t matter.”
His grip on you tightened, “But – ”
“It doesn’t matter, love.” Your words were quiet but stern, “I’ve haven’t looked at another guy since you came into my life, and I never will. You’re all I need.”
He smiled, his forehead leaning against yours, “I know – I just hate the look he was giving you, I want you all to myself.”
You rolled your eyes, cheeks getting hot, “I know, love.”
The second his lips captured yours you heard someone make a disgusted sound from behind you, “Oh my God! They’re dry humping again!”
You pulled away your eyes shut in annoyance, “Mackie!”
White Roses
Y/N has spent the last 3 years dating Shawn and taking care of his son after his mother abandoned them following his birth. Everything changes when she returns
Really sad.
Word count: 4.2K
-
“Okay Honey, do you want fruit loops or cocoa puffs?”
Opening the cabinet in a large men’s t-shirt and baggy sweatpants, Y/N swipes a piece of hair that fell out of her bun out of her face. She reaches up to grab the flimsy cardboard boxes of cereal, stretching her arms up far beyond her head on the tips of her toes.
“Fruit loops please” Y/N smiles at the way Eddie’s R’s sound like W’s at his lack of tiny teeth. She grabs the colorful box, tilting it so that the rainbow circles fill the small glass bowl in front of her.
Just as she’s done pouring the milk into the bowl of cereal, she feels two warm arms wrap around her waist.
“Already having breakfast without me?” Shawn places a warm kiss onto her shoulder and she giggles, turning around to place her arms around his neck.
“You wouldn’t get up so I figured i’d cover breakfast duty.” Shawn lets out a hum of appreciation, leaning down to give her a peck on the lips. After they disconnect, he mutters a small “I’m so lucky to have you.” Before grasping the bowl of cereal from the island behind her and placing it on the dining room table in front of his son.
“Daddy, how do I do this one?” He points to his math homework with his dull green crayon. Shawn looks at the paper, feigning confusion before teaching him how to do the simple addition.
Y/N watches with admiration. Although Eddie wasn’t hers genetically, she knew that after knowing him for nearly 3 years they’d both grown fond of eachother. She loved Eddie like he was her own, it was easier to considering he was the spitting image of his father.
Finishing her mug of hot coffee, Y/N places the mug in the sink. She walks over to the large marble table her boyfriend and Eddie are sat at, finishing their homework, and she places a kiss on the side of both of their heads.
“It’s 7:15, do you want me to drop Eddie off today?” She asks Shawn. She grabs the empty bowl with traces of milk hinting at the bottom, tossing it into the sink.
“I can drop him off on the way to Geoff’s.” He tells her.
“Eddie, go get your backpack.” Shawn tells him and the little boy nods, his wavy hair falling over his forehead in a little flop.
As they hear Eddies little sock clad feet pad up the stairs to his room, Shawn grabs Y/N by the waist and pulls her into him, tucking her head under his chin and placing a small kiss onto the top of her head.
“You’re so good to him.” He happily tells her. She smiles contently, breathing in the scent of his cologne with a deep breath. His cotton shirt feel soft against her cheek, and his broad frame allows her to just barely squeeze her arms around him.
“Ready to go!” A high pitched voice sing songs from the front door. They pull apart and Shawn gives her a little peck on the lips.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Now go before you’re late.” She pushes, smiling goofily like a child as he walks towards the front door and puts his shoes on one by one. She hears Eddie ask him a question about something he read in a book as they walk out the door and she sighs in content.
-
Y/N’s between classes.
She has 3 classes from 8:00-2:00, and then she has a two hour break before her final class at 4:00. During the 2 hours she spends her break grabbing lunch with her friends, or studying in the library on campus if the hours aren’t too busy.
Today, she’s chosen to spend her 2 hours in the small coffee shop on campus. The shop, attached to a local bookstore, has a very cozy feeling as she sips her tea and reads through her textbook while taking notes.
At 3:30 she gets a call from Shawn. Her phone blurts out with a catchy tune and people sitting around her and studying shoot her dirty looks as she answers. She’s not very sure what he could be calling for but nevertheless she answers.
“Hello?” She whispers into the phone, trying to be as quiet as possible.
“Baby” She hears Shawn quickly reply. He sounds stressed, or exhausted. Y/N can hear his heavy breathing over the phone and she automatically assumes something is wrong.
“Is everything okay?” She asks.
“Yeah!” He quickly and abruptly responds, “Well, actually, Eddie got hurt at school.”
She gasps, immediately having a dozen thoughts run through her head. She’s worried to say the least about Eddie, there are so many things that could happen to a five year old boy at school. She specifically remembers breaking her arm herself in secondary school, and she immediately pushes her thoughts aside.
“Is he okay? How badly hurt? If I leave right now I can make it to the hos-”
“Honey, calm down.” Shawn interrupts with a chuckle, “It’s not bad, apparently he was having a foam sword fight with one of his classmates and he slipped and cut his arm on the shelf. It’s not that serious but they just want us to pick him up and i’m at work so I was hoping you could?”
Y/N sighs in relief, her entire demeanor changing. People shoot her dirty looks at how loudly her questioning was and she embarrassingly cups her hand around her phone.
Y/N knows she has a class in merely thirty minutes, but the kindergarten was only 10 minutes away, and her babysitter’s home was only 15 minutes away. If she rushed she could make it back in time.
“Say no more, I can drop him off”
And she throws her textbooks and journals into her back frantically, zipping it up and rushing out of the bookstore.
-
When Y/N had first met Shawn, he wasn’t nearly as open and put together as he was now.
He was a single father without any experience, barely raising a child on his own. He’d practically given up his career at that point to devote himself to becoming a good father, but instead of devoting himself to something else, he’d ended up losing himself in the process.
On top of this, he’d been abandoned by the first girl he loved, who had sworn she was as in love with him as she was raising their child, but had escaped her responsibilities and bolted the second Eddie was born.
And then he found Y/N.
With her soft hair and her even softer eyes. She’d been helping out at the local music festival by helping set up the technical equipment, the same music festival that Shawn first took Eddie too. Shawn wanted his son to love and appreciate music just as much as he did.
Eddie had gone missing when Shawn looked away for a moment, and while he was practically freaking out, he immediately felt better when he found him tugging on a beautiful girl’s sweater while she made faces to make him laugh.
So piece by piece, and bit by bit, Y/N put him back together… She travelled with him to scenic spots to have lunch while Shawn wrote lyrics and she watched over Eddie. She took care of Eddie while Shawn began going to the studio to record again.
It wasn’t until he met Y/N that Shawn realized how preposterous and devious it was of Eddie’s mother to have left him to begin with. Y/N had practically raised Eddie alongside him, and he’d grown closer with her than he could ever be with Veronica at this point.
For the longest time Shawn had believed that he was the reason Veronica had left, that it was his wrongdoing that led her out of his life. He believed that he was the reason his son would grow up without a mother. He spent two years being ashamed of himself, all the while stressed from the lack of sleep he was getting by single handedly raising a child.
But when he met Y/N, he finally realized that Veronica had been selfish, and that he’d done his best to raise his son correctly. He knew that her leaving was her own irresponsible doing, and that he didn’t have to blame himself for someone else’s decisions.
It was a Sunday, and Y/N was on her way to bake cookies with Eddie for the bake sale his school had the next day. Grabbing two fabric grocery bags in her fists, she made her way past the door to Shawn’s place. She had a smile painted across her face, excitement from spending more time with the people she loved.
And then she saw her.
Y/N had only ever seen her in pictures before. Some of them across fan accounts on the internet, and some on tabloids when she searched her boyfriends name to find his tour dates.
She noticed that in person her eyes were much greener, legs much longer, skin radiant as if she were a permanently airbrushed human being. But what threw her off, oddly enough, wasn’t even the fact that she was sitting on the couch to her boyfriend’s living room after abandoning him and her son after giving birth. It was the fact that the two of them were laughing, a bowl of fruit set in front of them as Shawn bounced Eddie on his knee.
Y/N would be lying if she said her chest didn’t twist up into little knots. She was just a bit upset, not just because of the pain that she had caused her boyfriend, but also because it seemed like there was nothing wrong. She returned after being gone for years and just butted in perfectly.
Eddie looks rather uncomfortable being seated in front of the woman. His large hazel eyes seem droopy and bored. He squirms around on Shawn’s knee, not wanting to be where he is.
Y/N sets her groceries down on the counter, the rustling of the packaging inside making noticeable noises. From the corner of her eyes, she sees three pairs of eyes snap over to where she’s standing.
“Mom!” Eddie jumps up to run towards her. Y/N can’t help but flutter at the name, and she sees the disappointed look on Veronica’s face from the corner of her eye.
“Hi honey! Are you excited to make some cookies?” Y/N ruffles Eddie’s curly hair, no doubt a trademark of his dad. His nose scrunches up as she ruins his messy hair and he smiles happily as he runs behind the kitchen island.
Shawn stands up from the couch along with Veronica, walking over to the kitchen area where Y/N is unpacking some flour, and placing several pints of ice cream into the freezer (they were on sale). She shoots Veronica a glance, but quickly tears her eyes away.
“Y/N, this is Veronica, Veronica this is my girlfriend Y/N.” He introduces him. Veronica narrows her eyes slightly before painting a smile on her face and sticking out her hand for Y/N to shake.
“Nice to meet you.” Y/N says to be polite, hiding her disdain as she immediately turns around to grab the sugar from the cabinets behind her. When she grabs it and then places it on the counter, Eddie and Shawn are nowhere to be seen. She furrows her eyebrows in confusion and Veronica reads her facial expressions, speaking up.
“They went over there.” She points at a door. Y/N knows she’s never been in the house before, since she spent her time with Shawn while he still lived in his condo. She nods and heads over to Shawn’s large bedroom, opening the door to see Shawn squatting in front of Eddie.
“You can’t call Y/N mommy when Veronica’s around because she might get sad. It’s rude and it’s not very nice.”
Y/N feels her heart ache a bit. Shawn was defending the woman who had hurt him, who’d abandoned him for lord knows what and Eddie only called Y/N that because she was the closest thing he had to a mother figure. All of his friends had moms, and Y/N knew that the concept would be confusing to him at such a young age.
“But that’s what I call her in front of everyone else?” Eddie is clearly disappointed because he feels like he’s being disciplined, with his dad sternly speaking to him in private. He sees Y/N when she widens the door and immediately rushes over to grab at her leg, hugging it towards him.
Y/N pets at his curls while Shawn sighs, walking over to the two of them.
“What is she doing here?” She sternly, but quietly, asks him. He lets out a deep breath, fingers nervously running through his hair.
“She stopped by. Trust me, I was angry at her at first too. But Y/N, she told me she wants to play a part in Eddie’s life now. She’s applied for modelling jobs in Toronto and she’s planning on getting an apartment here. I figured i’d let her, because Eddie doesn’t have a mom.”
Y/N’s chest thuds a little bit when Shawn tells her those words, but she knows he’s right. She’s not Eddie’s mother, no matter how much it feels like it.
“Shawn, she left you both.” Y/N tells him. He sighs.
“I knew you would say that.” He honestly tells her. And it isn’t in a casual way, he seems annoyed at it. Annoyed at the fact that Y/N wouldn’t forgive the woman who practically destroyed him, right away.
“Do you not remember how hurt you were when she left you? How she said she didn’t want either of you?” She questions. Shawn asks Eddie to leave, as he doesn’t want him listening, but Eddie refuses to be left alone with Veronica. He shakes his head and tightens his grip on Y/N’s thigh.
“People deserve second chances, Y/N.” He tells her.
“Not for things this big, they don’t!” She exclaims back at him. He pinches the bridge of his nose, wanting to leave the situation.
“Eddie deserves better than that, we both know that.”
He doesn’t respond, instead focusing his attention on the floor as he shakes his head, dodging every word she says.
“She hasn’t been a good mother to him, you know that. She hasn’t been at any of his school performances or dropped him off at daycare, or spent any time with him at all.” She tries to reason.
“Jesus christ, Y/N, you’re not his fucking mother! She is! So just let it go, taking care of him doesn’t make you more entitled to make decisions for him than his own fucking DNA.”
Y/N takes a step back, heart aching as she swallows thickly. She feels a lump forming in her throat and her eyes sore a bit as they glaze over a bit. She chooses to ignore the situation as a whole.
Shawn’s sorry, she can tell because he opens and closes his mouth, no words coming out of them. His hand, one of them being balled into a fist at his side, unballs and he reaches out to grab at her shoulder. Before he can, she turns on her heel, squatting down to talk to Eddie.
“Wanna go make some cookies?” A tear dribbles out of her eye and Eddie reaches out to swipe it away, worry on his features. He nods and the walk out of the door to the bedroom.
-
It’s been a day.
Shawn apologized to Y/N and she brushed it off, telling him it was fine before going about their morning routine to drop Eddie off at school. It wasn’t fine, and her heart was uncertain as it beat in her chest, but she didn’t want to cause trouble so she ignored it. After she finishes her last class, she pulls up to Eddie’s school to pick him up.
Approaching the front desk, she greets Mrs. Martha, a sweet old lady who Y/N recognizes as the teacher for children a year younger than Eddie.
“Hi, i’m here to pick up Eddie Mendes? Here’s my ID.”
She slides her card onto the desk, and the usual worker greets her, but leaves her card on the counter without even grabbing it.
“Y/N, some lady already picked him up.” She tells her. Y/N is confused for a moment, panicking because she wonders if he’s been taken somehow but then she calms down enough to ask a question.
“What lady?”
“Tall, really green eyes, kind of stuck up. She came in with a Gucci purse and refused to set it on the counter because it was ‘too dirty’, her name was Veronica.”
Y/N’s heart drops to the pit of her stomach, she had previously confirmed her picking up Eddie to him but he clearly hadn’t listened.
“I don’t think I put him on the pick up list?” She asks one more time.
“Yeah, his father called it in this afternoon. Shawn I think his name is?”
Defeatedly, and with a dozen of Eddie’s favorite donuts sitting in the passenger seat of her car, she walks out the door of the daycare and drives back to her own apartment that she hasn’t been in in a long time.
-
“Hey Shawn, uhm, it’s Y/N. I haven’t heard from you since Sunday but, Eddie’s school performance is today and I was wondering if you still wanted me to come. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I’m sorry if I bothered you.”
And she hangs up the phone, the voice machine letting out a small beep as she clicks it off.
Y/N has a bouquet of white roses, Eddie’s favorite flower, in her passenger’s seat. She twists her key into the ignition, debating whether or not she should drive to the local theatre for his performance. She was sure Shawn would be there, and undoubtedly, so would Veronica.
“Fuck it.” Y/N mutters to herself, shifting the gear to drive as she pulls the car out of the parking garage and heads towards the theatre.
-
When Y/N walks in, the performance is just starting. Parents are standing around with their small kids, all conversing amongst each other. Y/N greets a few of the moms she’s grown close to, and greets some of the small children that she’s taken care of when they’ve come over for playdates.
Sifting through the crowd of people, she finally sports little Eddie talking to Carter, another little boy in their class.
“Eddie!” She calls out. His face lights up at the sight of her, but then it immediately falls as he looks in another direction. Y/N follows his gaze to see Shawn, laughing while his hands are stuck onto Veronica’s waist. Veronica spots Y/N staring at them, and immediately pushes forward to attach her lips to Shawn’s.
She sees Shawn pull back almost instantly, but she doesn’t have time to notice because she’s disappointed either way. She’s sad because his hands were on her waist, because Veronica picked up the boy she practically raised from his school, because she’s marched back into both of their lives as if nothing’s happened and Shawn’s done nothing to prevent it.
So she lets her tears dribble down her cheeks despite the people all around her, despite all of the parents she knows watching her and despite what they think of her she lets herself fall apart. She doesn’t think she’ll have to see any of them ever again.
The white roses she held in her hands drop to the floor, and she feels a pair of eyes snap over to her, widening when they see her. Shawn instantly walks over to her but she turns around to walk out of the doors of the theatre.
Eddie follows after her, the smart boy obviously seeing she’s distressed. He catches up to her and she leans over quickly to pick him up and heads to get some fresh air. She wanted to be there for Eddie, at least for one more night.
When they both make it outside, the cold air has their cheeks turning pink in the cool winter air.
Y/N sobs as she tucks her face into Eddie’s little puffy jacket, breathing in the scent of Shawn’s - and what she thought was also her - home. Her fists ball in and grasp the fabric of his winter coat and she’s sure people will think she’s absolutely insane. She hears the door open behind her.
“Y/N-”
“I was stupid, wasn’t I?” She asks, still staring out into the chilly Toronto night sky.
“Maybe that’s why you actually dated me.” Her voice breaks as she gasps for air through her sobs. Shawn feels his heart breaking, he’s aware whatever he says can’t fix it. He had just been so caught up in the idea of having a really family, but he’d forgotten the fact that he did have a family.
Veronica wasn’t Y/N. She was Eddie’s mother, yes, but she was still much too immature to take care of anyone but herself. It felt familiar, having her back, but it wasn’t right. She wasn’t nearly as amazing as Y/N was. And when she had kissed him, he’d immediately pulled back because he knew it wasn’t right.
But it was hard to tell Y/N that, given that he’d made the mistake of ignoring her for the past few days.
“I should’ve known. Was it because I looked desperate or because you knew I would drop anything for either of you?”
“Y/N.”
“Was it convenient? I mean you obviously needed someone to take care of him, was I just like a nanny that you didn’t have to pay for… or something like that?”
Eddie breathes into Y/N’s neck, and goosebumps rise up her neck. She places a kiss into his hair, inhaling the scent of his kids shampoo as she tries to stop her tears.
“It’s not like that, you know how much you mean to me.” Shawn frantically puts his words together, not even knowing where to start.
“How was I dumb enough to think I could replace his mother?” She scolds herself, because that’s how Y/N looked at it. She wasted her time and energy for something that he thought of as temporary, disposable.
“God, baby, please tell me you know how much you mean to me.” He begs her, his panic starting to pool tears in his own eyes. She still doesn’t look at him, her eyes focused on everything but him with her back turned to him.
“…Or to think I could mean anything to you at all.” She concludes. Behind her, she hears people starting to scutter into the auditorium through the thin glass doors and knows that their time is limited.
“Y/N, i’m sorry. Please talk to me, look at me. Please.” He pleads but she just turns around and places her hand on the handle of the door, teeth still clenched as she spots Veronica cluelessly roaming around the lobby and looking for Shawn.
She opens the door, a gust of warm air enveloping her, and she finally sets Eddie down onto the cheap flooring of the lobby. Eddie looks up at her, worry etched on his features that are so similar to Shawn’s that it makes her want to start crying again.
She hears footsteps stop right behind her, and she wishes he would just disappear.
“Are you okay mommy?” He asks her, brushing her hair out of her face with his tiny little palms.
“Eddie…I might not see you for a while after tonight. But I love you, just know that I love you so much, and that you always meant the most to me, okay?”
He nods, wrapping his stubby arms around her neck one last time. She closes her eyes, enjoying the moment before she lightly pushes him towards the door all the other little kids went through to get ready for their play.
She turns around, finally meeting Shawn’s gaze. His eyes are slightly red and she instantly turns towards the door before he grabs her wrist.
“I need you.” He tells her, and she shakes her head. “I love you.”
“You were right, Shawn.” She pathetically squeaks out, “I’m not his mother. I never will be.”
And in the lobby of the old, cheap community theatre, with a bouquet of twisted white roses lying on the floor, Shawn wonders if things will ever be okay again.
I had to stop in the middle because I was crying too much omg
Stunned || s.m. blurb
summary: Shawn meets you and you don’t know who he is
a/n: I DON’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE SHORT BLURBS BUT HERE’S SOME CONTENT FOR YOU HOES.
————-
It’s around 12 in the afternoon in downtown Malibu and it’s about time you had your lunch break. Your best friend said she’d meet you there in a while but just to order for her just in case, and you agreed.
You headed down to a nearby cafe in the downtown area and luckily it was walking distance because you couldn’t even take sitting in your car just because that’s what you were doing all day at work, sitting. The walk was only 10 minutes and it resensitized your butt after it being numb for a while. The cool sea breeze pushed your hair and beige waistcoat back and you felt like Gigi on the runway. Your bootie heels clicked their way down the the local cafe and waited your turn in line.
You raised an eyebrow as there was literally only two other people in the cafe other than the baristas. At this hour? You thought, not really thinking further into it for fear of jinxing yourself.
Giving the baristas your orders, you went to join the other two people waiting on their orders surrounding a separate counter where the orders were placed. Two guys; one older, one younger making small talk as they waited. The younger one caught your eye though. He had this coat on that just looked so different than anything else and you loved it. It was navy blue and yellow plaid on what looked like a wool blend fabric with snap buttons and a lined collar. Some confidence came over you and you needed to know where you could get your hands on this piece.
You tapped on the younger guys shoulder for his attention.
“Scuse me can I ask a quick question?” You started. He turned around and smiled, obviously knowing what you wanted and he giggled.
“Sure.”
“Where did you get your jacket? I love it so much it’s so different” you were beaming at him, gently grazing the fabric covering his bicep; which were huge by the way.
His eyes went big.
“Uhhm, I honestly can’t remember, I saw it on a link from Pinterest and it took me here and there and yeah..” you smiled, how humbling and ‘against laws of nature’-esque of a male to actually have a Pinterest and not be gay. Of course not to say that only gay guys use Pinterest, just the gender stereotypes don’t let guys do feminine things.
How refreshing.
“Pinterest, right. Love that app” you beamed, letting the silence overtake as the music from the cafe became more evident. The boy towered over you, and you thought you were tall. You noticed his hair, deep brown curls perfectly styled. You could appreciate a man who can style his own hair well.
The man standing beside him looked over at him with a raised brow, confused.
“Order for y/n!!” The barista shouts your name for your order and you go and pick up your bags.
“y/n.. pretty name” the tall boy compliments you, you blush. Your name was one of the most basic names that your parents could give you, yet coming out of this boys mouth made it sound like your favorite song.
“Thanks, what’s yours?”
“I have a large Americano for Shawn?” The barista calls out yet again. He smiles at you and picks up his coffee.
“Shawn..” you look him up and down. You absolutely loved his entire outfit, Chelsea boots were your favorite on a guy, and he wore them well.
“You have a great sense of style Shawn, hope to see you around again” you wink at him and walk out of the cafe, your friend meeting you in her car up the street a bit.
“Holy shit” Shawn says under his breath, watching your hips move as you walk away from him.
He’s stunned, to say the least.
“She had no idea who you were, did she?” Andrew asked. He sipped his iced macchiato with a smirk.
“No.. she really didn’t” Shawn smiled to himself, watching you walk up the street and get into a car that was waiting for you. He meets your eyes one last time before shutting the door.
“I think I’m in love”
—
lemme know what you guys think :) also, the gif of Shawn is the coat I’m talking about xx
Hi y’all pls reblog I need attention
NXJAKD BITCH
Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.
why is it that not more than 1/20 of Tumblr haven’t reblogged this
If you’re older than 11 you are required to reblog this if/when you see it
But I’m actually 5
I'd very much like to punch a feminist.
I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.
I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs
ready when you are
Or if you’d like to have some more options….
I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.
what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.
im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too
Reblogging for the last one cuz that’s adorable
SO PROUD
The Fantastic 4 we deserve
OMG IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREEN SHOTS
LEGENDARY POST???
ITS BACK
I LOVES THIS
I want to draw them as a super hero group. Is that weird? Lol
I’d watch this movie
yo @ marvel
michael’s little degrading chuckle when he says “and you almost are”
reblog if you agree
It's currently 3:07 am and my cold is worse and I actually feel so weak I'm crying
Science side of TTumblr, tell me a thing.
Why the hell did my body wait until I was twenty-fucking-one to become lactose intolerant?
Tying Shawn in the shape of an x on the bed, blind folding him and absolutely wrecking him all night (for sub Sunday)
I love how you specify for sub Sunday. Like I’m gonna write this for the hospital au or something (although that’s an idea….)
Okay anyway….
Shawn knows the moment you tie him up like that, he’s in for it. Because there’s no where for him to go. He has no room to move around at all. And he can’t even see you properly. Then you blindfold him and he can’t see you at all.
I see shawn as the type to be into having a feather dragged across his body? Also waxplay? I don’t know why. I just think he’d like them. So yeah, you’d do that.
And fuck you’d alternate between the feather and the wax which drive him crazy. One moment he has hot wax on his chest and the next there’s a feather ghosting over his thighs. He doesn’t know what to expect.
I think that the best way to wreck him isn’t actaully to tease his cock. It’s to tease around his cock. Leave hickeys on his thighs. Trace his v line with a feather. Stuff like that.
And then when it reaches the point where he’s bucking up into nothing…. you suddenly just take his whole cock in your mouth. No warning.
That’s what gets him. He’ll literally almost scream at the sudden feeling. And then you work him right to the edge, before you stop. You do it again. And again.
And maybe you ride his face then? Because you know he needs a break from edging and you need something.
Shawn could literally eat you out for hours, so he has no problem with this change. And fuck maybe as you’re about to cum, you lean back and jerk him off? He cums the exact moment that you do.
And then you just wreck him. Make him cum again and again. Taking breaks only to drizzle a little hot wax on his chest. Which only makes him even more sensitive.
Once he’s nearly had it, you until his hands and sit on his cock. Then you ride him nice and slow. He’s so oversensitive that he’s got tears running down his face. But you let him sit up and burry his head in your chest as you ride him. You let him cling to you as his last orgasm of the night washes over him.
Leaving him crying and begging to stop. You get off him quickly.
And then the aftercare takes about three hours cause damn your boy went through a lot right there. But he loved every second of it.
hope your pets stay healthy in 2017
I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty
Not risking it
hope ya pets even healthier in 2018
hope your pets discover immortality in 2019