Shawn and Y/N are arguing, but she never thought he’d miss the birth of his own child.
“Everything all packed up and ready to go?”
Some clothes are still messily strewn across the room. There are suitcases in random places, shoes thrown around here and there. Overflowing suitcases barely zip shut, Shawn using all of his upper body strength to hold down the items inside of them. Y/N tiredly plops herself down on the bed, legs dangling off as her husband packs for his tour.
“Roughly, yeah.” He tugs the zipper to the last suitcase shut, setting his guitar case on top of it. Y/N scans her eyes over all of the colorful stickers on his case, having heard the stories behind all of them.
She’s daydreaming, lazily floating on the master bed before she feels two hands on his round tummy. Smiling, she reaches down, placing her tiny hands over the large ones and feeling the cool metal of large rings there.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright on your own?” He asks her, squatting in front of the bed, but still being tall enough to look her straight in the eyes as she sits there. She runs her hand over where the ring on his middle finger is, feeling the strange stone as she nods.
“Yes, i’m sure. Go have fun being a rockstar, i’ll join you once she pops out.” Y/N gestures to her large stomach, Shawn laughing as he presses his lips to her cheek. The fabric of her shirt, though soft, still made her feel stuffy and all she wanted to do was take it off and lie under the sheets all day.
“I’ll be back for sure before she does.” He pulls her in as far as he can before her stomach inevitably separates them a bit. They both giggle, and Y/N offers to help him load his things into his SUV. Shawn gently shoves her back onto the bed, telling her she shouldn’t do anything that could possibly cause stress before picking up half of the bags at once.
Y/N would miss Shawn while he was away, but she knew he would get back at least a week before her due date.She wasn’t particularly worried, she knew that her husband loved her, and she knew that she was strong enough to withstand a few nights on her own.
Y/N giggled when she lied down fully on the soft sheets, her head coming in contact with an Armani shirt he must’ve pulled out while packing. She faintly smelt the smell of Gucci cologne on it, and it astounded her how he needed so many clothes just for 2 weeks of tour. Her husband was surely something different, and she’d never been more sure that she’d married the most amazing person.
Hearing footsteps thud up the stairs, she quickly lifted her heavy body off of the bed. She noticed that she felt more sluggish as her bump grew, like a weight was always pressing her down when she walked. She’d managed to get the next few weeks off from work, so she was excited to not do anything for the time being, no matter how much she wants her husband to be there with her.
“Baby, I have to leave.” Shawn sighs. Truthfully, he doesn’t really want to go either. Leaving your 8 month pregnant wife alone for two weeks, wasn’t something that topped his list of things to do, but he knew the obligations that came along with his career.
“Wrapping her arms around his torso and engulfing him in one last hug, she wishes she could just stay tangled up with him forever. Her head pressed against the soft skin of his collar bones, thumb tracing over the skin between his tattoo and his watch.
She was the first to pull away, giving him a little peck on the lips before pulling him down the stairs of the large house, and to the front door. Down each of the stairs, Shawn’s grip on her hand squeezed a little tighter, and she smiled a little bit at his overprotective nature.
Before they got the chance to walk out the front door, Y/N glanced up at the nursery right across from their shared bedroom. From where she stood, she could see the bright yellow walls, and the shadow of one of the mobiles they’d hung up over the pretty little crib.
Shawn noticed her gaze, looking into the nursery and smiling a little to himself. His eyes crinkled at the edges at his smile, adoration for his wife and future child growing more and more (if that was even possible).
Turning around, Y/N held onto Shawn every second that she could before he hopped into his car. She pressed her lips against him another time, leaning against the doorframe as she watched his tall body step down the driveway and into the large black vehicle.
“Be safe, baby. I love you both!” Shawn sticks his head out of the window a bit as he yells. The wheels turn a little faster, and Y/N shoots him a happy wave before he drives away.
Trust was the key to any functioning relationship. Without trust in one another, the relationship wasn’t possible. And without belief in another person’s abilities, any sort of growth in the relationship was restrained too.
Shawn and Y/N had always trusted each other. Whether it was with embarrassing secrets, or small details that didn’t mean anything to other people. Nothing was really a secret to them, more like a truth that hadn’t been spoken.
Most days Y/N wanted to wrap herself up in Shawn, and hold him so close that she became part of him. But with him on tour, it was hard not to think of him every second of the day. Especially when she was holding part of him inside of her, quite literally.
It wasn’t like she wanted to lose trust in him, or stop believing him all of a sudden. But she’d been trying to talk to him and he just hadn’t replied. Y/N Had spoken more to Geoff (who was on tour with him), than she had with Shawn the past few days.
So what was she supposed to think, when she saw pictures of him with her.
Y/N didn’t mind Shawn hanging out with celebrities, or other girls. She trusted him, believed in him, and she had close guy friends of her own. It didn’t matter much to her, because he wasn’t ever really one to try to control her decisions either. They loved each other in the purest way possible, and that made their abilities to trust just that much easier.
Y/N remembered when she’d first met Shawn. He was in his early twenties, sitting at the counter of the bar she waited for (to get through college) with glass after glass of whiskey in his hand. She’d eventually told Louis (the bartender) to cut him off, after noticing the curly headed boy begin to slump off the chair.
Calling an Uber to the bar, she remembered pulling him off of the seat of the bar, and trying to get his address out of him to tell the uber driver. Y/N was a struggling student in college, yes, but she wouldn’t let someone obviously intoxicated just stumble out alone. She planned on paying for his ride back, if it meant he would be safe.
But when she’d heard him mumble something about how she would hit him if he got home late. How she’d been hitting him, and when she noticed the hints of purple and pink on the biceps of his arms, she decided she really had no choice but to help him, and preferably not send him home.
So, using all of the tips for that night, Y/N booked him a hotel room. She crashed on the couch next to the bed, and when he woke up in the morning (after throwing up from his hangover), he sobbed to her about all of the horrible things his girlfriend was doing to him back home.
And that’s how Shawn and Y/N met.
Y/N wouldn’t have a problem with Shawn talking to other girls. As mentioned before, she wouldn’t have any problem with any models, or any other artists. Talking was talking, and there wasn’t much more to it.
But it was her, and that made it a different story.
If she closed her eyes hard enough, Y/N could still remember the broken glass on the floor of his condo, and the harsh yelling she’d heard as Shawn walked in the morning after. She remembered hiding in her car, waiting for the screaming to stop before eventually walking into intervene herself.
She never knew how broken someone could be until she met Shawn.
But there he was, smiling happily as he walked down the streets of New York with the girl who’d hurt him more than anyone ever had. Heather hadn’t just hurt him, she’d broken him, and any ounce of trust he’d possessed.
She was there when he moved his things out of the condo, and into the temporary apartment he would stay at while he worked on trying to feel safe. She was the one who checked on him every other day, and brought him burgers at the bar she used to work at. On the days he’d feel low, she’d rush into her car after class and pick up freshly baked scones from her bakery on the way to see him.
Shawn always believed Y/N hadn’t been the one who fixed him, but reinvented him entirely. Into someone he was proud of.
So when Y/N picks up her phone, ringing in her ears as she patiently awaits Shawn’s voice, her foot taps against the hardwood floor of their kitchen. The tabloid picture is displayed on the computer in front of her, and she grabs the baguette off of her kitchen counter, stressfully taking a bite out of it.
A dial tone fills her ears, and she’s worried, but more so angry at his actions. She lets the tone continue on, waiting until a small beep fills her ears and she leaves a short message for her husband.
“Hey, so uhm…I saw you were hanging out with Heather again. I just wanted an explanation? I don’t know, I love you, call me back.”
And she hangs up the phone.
It’s 9 PM. Y/N has a bowl of popcorn perfectly balanced on her baby bump, an episode of a vampire show on the television as she pops kernel after kernel into her mouth. She laughs, giggling a bit at the words at one of the characters, and just as she’s enjoying herself she hears annoying ringing fill her ears.
Wiping the popcorn crumbs on her soft cotton shorts, she reaches over Shawn’s side of the bed to pick up her phone. When she sees his name glowing across the screen, she quickly swipes the small phone icon and presses the phone to her ear.
“Baby!” She enthusiastically says. She hears rustling on the other side of the line before hearing her husband’s voice. But when he speaks, she notices a certain strain to his voice.
“Hey. Just wanted to check up on the baby.” He says. She frowns, sad that he didn’t want to check up on her but she just figures its slipped his mind.
“She’s doing well, really hungry today though.” Y/N pops another kernel of popcorn into her mouth.
“Yeah…” Shawn trails off. Y/N frowns, it felt a bit off and awkward talking to him. They were never awkward, they were always laughing or talking about at least something. But his responses were short and the awkward silence told her otherwise.
“I got your message.” Y/N is reminded of the horrible picture she saw earlier. The thought of Heather alone made her blood poil, and her cheeks turn red, so the thought of them together just made her even more upset.
Rubbing her eyes, she replies, “Yeah. What’s up with that picture anyways?”
She hears Shawn sighing on the other side of the line. She can almost picture him gnawing on the sides of his cheeks, feet scuffling against the floor as he nervously thinks.
“She messaged me on Instagram, you know, since I blocked her number.” Shawn says. He knows Y/N absolutely despises Heather, and he treads on thin ice as he carefully speaks.
“Mmhmm.” Y/N presses him on.
“So we, we went out for coffee. And she said she was sorry for all the uh - the hitting and she just wanted to get back on good terms.” He quickly finishes.
Y/N is angry. She’s quite flustered at it, yes, at the fact that her husband had even given her the chance of apologizing at all. But she knew it wasn’t her life, and that it wasn’t necessarily her decision whether or not he accepted her apology or not.
Y/N still didn’t believe her intentions were pure, though.
Although she’s a quite upset, she swirls her hand carelessly around the remaining popcorn in her bowl and assures him that it’s fine. SHe tells him she’s mad, yes, but that she understands he’s a kind person who’s much more forgiving than she is.
“Also I invited her to our baby party.” And Y/N blows out the piece of popcorn that she’d just thrown in her mouth, the small piece falling onto the blanket in front of her.
“You what?” Her tone completely changes, voice stern and she doesn’t think he notices.
“I just wanted to give her another chance. I mean, she seemed really upset.” He defends himself, and no matter how pure his intentions seem, she’s overwhelmed with anger at the confession.
Their baby party was supposed to be a personal event, one so personal that Y/N wasn’t even thinking about inviting her own college friends. They’d agreed on family and close friends only, so Y/N couldn’t get through her head why Shawn would’ve ever thought it was a good idea to invite his abusive ex girlfriend to an event like that.
“Shawn I-” Y/N swallows, frustration jumbling up her words, “Why would you do that?” She grumbles.
“Because she was a big part of our lives, and-”
“Not in a good way!” Y/N interrupts. She perches herself up on her elbows when the conversation gets more serious.
“If it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t have met!” Shawn points out. Y/N openly laughs at his words, the situation seeming so ludicrous to her that she didn’t have a choice but to sarcastically laugh.
“If it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have left your condo for two months because looking at it made you have panic attacks. If it weren’t for her, you’d actually have been able to sleep at night instead of having to take pills during the entirety of the year after you both broke up.” Y/N rants. She knows he’s just trying to be a nice person, but part of her believes he acted out of fear rather than interest.
“Y/N, it’s my party too. Why can’t I just invite who I want to, it’s not like i’m forcing you to be friends with her.”
Y/N tugs at the scrunchie on her wrist, going to tie her hair up as she sets the phone to speaker and lays it on the bed. While she gathers her hair into one big bunch, she continues their semi argument.
“I’m sorry, Shawn. I didn’t realize you were the one literally holding another human being inside of you for 9 months!” She exclaims, scrunchie pulling her hair closer as she continues to tie it.
“You’re so fucking hormonal right now, it’s like I can’t even have a simple discussion with you.”
Y/N feels a small twinge of hurt tug at her chest, right above her full tummy, but she quickly gathers enough words to reply.
“Well if i’m so fucking hormonal, you just shouldn’t have knocked me up! Maybe then we could have a ‘civilized conversation’.” Even though he can’t see her, she sits defensively with her arms propped over her chest, the bowl of popcorn now resting on Shawn’s side of the bed.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
Y/N audibly gasps, grabbing for her phone and hanging up the call before either of them can say another word. She feels the prick of hurt from earlier spreading, gnawing at her insides as she lets a few tears slip out. She could admit that the hormones were making her a bit emotional, but she knew it was irrational - pregnant or not - to have her at their personal party, to invite Heather back into their lives.
Pressing her teary eyes back onto her vampire show, Y/N feels the thumps of her baby’s legs on her tummy as she lulls herself to sleep.
“Andrew, you know those tour dates in the lower east that you took off so that I could go back early?”
Andrew sits at his hotel desk, glasses off as he watches some documentary about whales on Netflix. Shawn notices the fluffy hotel robe he has on, and it cheers him up a little bit from the argument he just had with his wife.
“Andrew turns to look at him, eyes squinting a bit as he focuses on who it is, but after realizing it’s Shawn he nods and awaits more dialogue.
“You can add them back, I don’t think i’m going home that soon.” Andrew raises an eyebrow, but he knows that trying to convince Shawn otherwise won’t get him anywhere. So he just silently nods, asks him if everything’s okay, and types away at his laptop to the publicists of the tour.
They haven’t talked in a few days.
Y/N even thinks of flying out to where he is in the US, but she doesn’t want to put a dent that big in her bank account, and she doesn’t want to upset him if he doesn’t want her there.
She’d called him about twice in the five days they haven’t spoken, and she knew that she wanted to speak to him at least once before he came back. She wanted them to be happy, no matter how much she thought she was the right one on the situation.
Sighing, she calls his phone one more, wishing for - but knowing she won’t hear - the sound of his voice, instead of the same godforsaken dial tone she’d heard so many times in the past few days.
Leaving him yet another message, she clicks off the phone and tries to drown her sorrows in the last pint of Cherry Garcia they had in their freezer.
When Y/N wakes up in the middle of the night, she’s sweatier than usual.
Her legs are tired, and they feel heavy when she tries to move. Her neck is slick with sweat, and her messy bun has been undone at some point in the night. She hears the echoing of some advertisement playing on the large television, and she wants to close her eyes and slip back into slumber.
She gasps, hand flying out to rest on her tummy, her leg shifts a bit at her action and she feels a puddle of liquid under her thigh.
She doesn’t want to admit it to herself, really doesn’t because she’s panicking and she doesn’t know what to do. She was supposed to drive with Shawn when it happened, and more importantly he was supposed to be there with her.
She knew Ubers wouldn’t like a woman in labor in the backseat of their cars, and she also knew that it was a Thursday night, so all of the sorority girls and frat boys would be drunkenly dialing all of the ubers towards themselves, and she didn’t have time to wait.
She doesn’t think she’s in any state to drive. She quickly crawls off the bed, accidentally knocking the bowl of popcorn she was eating the night before off of the nightstand. She unplugs her phone from the charger, and rests in between contractions. She knows at that point they were rather far apart, and takes the time to her advantage.
Immediately clicking on her husband’s contact, she tries to call it, wishing with everything in her that he cares enough to pick up the phone. When she’s met with that stupid dial tone, however, she doesn’t curse in frustration, but instead begins to cry.
The biggest moment of her life and her husband - who was supposed to be there - wasn’t even picking up his phone.
She stumbles onto the floor, crying into her knees with her phone held in her hand. She breathes unevenly, and scrolls through her contacts to look for any people who could possibly help her.
Clicking on a familiar name, she holds the phone up to her ear.
Y/N sighs through her tears in relief.
Strumming at the chords of his guitar, Zuben and Mike sitting in front of him, Shawn sits in a soft t-shirt and sweatpants. Boston was rather chilly, ad the heating in the hotel took a longer time than he thought to kick on.
For the past few days, Shawn had been dodging his wife’s calls. He was already stressed from the tour, ad he didn’t want to add onto that stress to listen to his wife yell at him. Plus, if it was really urgent, she would’ve left voicemails or messages, and he hadn’t received any that he knew of.
His phone buzzes on the table next to him, and Shawn sets his guitar down before sighing and turning over the screen. He quickly presses the off button, disconnecting the call as he goes back to strumming his guitar.
“Who was that?” Mike asks, looking interested at how quickly Shawn hung up.
“My wife.” Shawn simply replies, and he’s brought to the realization that saying it out loud makes it sound worse than he thought.
“Isn’t she pregnant?” Zuben trails off, joining in on their conversation, “Like, really pregnant?”
Shawn nods, eyes cloudy as he envisions the cute little baby bump on Y/N’s stomach, he’s happy for a bit before he remembers their argument, and then he just gets tense all over again.
“Maybe you should call her back…” Mike trails off, and Shawn is quick to defend himself,
“I’m not talking to her right now. And plus, she isn’t due for another few weeks.” Zuben and Mike give each other a look, but shrug it off before going back to scrolling through their phones when they realize it’s not their business to meddle.
There’s an insistent knocking on the door that interrupts them soon after, and Shawn’s annoyed at the constant interruptions. He just wanted to sit, strum his guitar, and stop worrying, but it didn’t seem like that was possible at this point.
Shawn walks to the door in a few steps, swinging it open quickly so that he can get back to songwriting, but Andrew stands in front of the door, face palely flushed with his hair messy and his clothes wrinkled.
“Your wife is in labor. I’ve booked you a flight that leaves in 30 minutes, so stop trying to ignore her and pack everything you need.”
Shawn widens his eyes, a million thoughts rushing to his head. He certainly wasn’t expecting it, and he can’t help the metallic taste in his mouth as his guilt draws tears into his eyes. His body moves erratically, shifting between processing the information and moving to pack his things.
Y/N lays tiredly on the hospital bed.
Nurses try to hand her papers. They’d originally asked her where the husband was, because normally after a child’s birth the father was apparently the person who’d fill out all of the paperwork, but Shawn hadn’t shown up. So she was alone in a hospital room, the smell of saline solution filling her senses as she waited for anyone to walk through the door.
She didn’t picture one of the most amazing moments in her life to play out like this.
Eyes red, her stomach is still sore from all of the effort she put in in trying to push out her child. Her entire body feels sore as she shakily grabs the pen and the forms, her tears dribbling onto the papers. She gives up, throwing them onto the edge of the bed as she tucks her head into her palms and lets out a sob.
She can’t tell what hurts more, her stomach or her chest.
Y/N hadn’t expected her family to be there, she assured them that it was fine. After all, she did live in a separate country from them. She thought Shawn would invite his family, maybe a few of their close friends.
But after she’d given birth all alone - something that was supposed to be monumental - without the father of the child, even her baby was absent from her hands as it was gone to be held by the nurse when she filled out the papers.
Her hands shaking, she grabs the pen in her slim fingers, taking a deep breath and trying to write down her name and address once more. The pen slips out of her weak grasp, onto the floor, and Y/N breaks down crying again.
She hears a rush of footsteps flood into the lobby of the hospital, but she focuses on the sound of her own sniffles. Her head is tucked between her shaky knees and she’s sure the nurses think she’s absolutely insane.
“Y/N?” She hears a familiar voice say, and she thinks she’s hallucinating, shaking her head and tucking her head between her knees. She feels her head pound, undoubtedly from how tired she was, having not slept nearly enough the night before from endlessly pushing for hours.
“Baby?” She hears a shaky voice say. She looks up to see her husband, red eyes matching her own. His eyes are glazed over and puffy, tears threatening to pour over the rims once again.
“Leave.” She simply tells him, reaching forward to grab the clipboard of papers so that he can’t do anything to help her. She didn’t want his help anymore, didn’t want him to feel like he was doing anything right at all.
She sees him swipe up and rub two tears out of his eyes.
“Shawn, i’m not a kid. You can’t lie to me, and-” Y/N takes in a deep breath, lips chapped as she stares at her husband “expect me to be okay”. Her arms are wrapped around her chest, and Y/N thinks she’s holding herself together at the amount of hurt she feels.
“I didn’t think-” he lets out a sob, t-shirt sticking to his chest at how sweaty he is from running across the airport, and through some of the streets to the hospital, “I’m sorry.”
“Stop it.” Y/N sternly tells him, “Stop saying you’re sorry to make yourself feel better. I’ve been here alone for-” She cuts herself off. Remembering the painful feeling of enduring the most hurtful feeling she’d felt in her entire life, without anyone she loved besides her. Y/N had always envisioned what it would be like, giving birth, but as she realized no one would come to help her, she’d questioned every bit of trust she had for Shawn.
“Shawn, I don’t even feel like I married you.” She weakly lets out, her voice shaky from all of the panic she’s going through at the moment. Shawn wants to fix things, he wants more than ever to fix things but for the first time since they’ve been dating, he doesn’t know how.
“My husband wouldn’t do this to me.” And Shawn breaks, hands gripping onto her hospital bed as he closes his eyes and prays that they’ll be okay.
“I just, I feel so dumb. I thought you wouldn’t do this, but you just, you did.” She can’t put together her thoughts very adequately, but when she sees the nurse holding her newborn child walk into the hospital room, she quickly rushes to hold her arms out, tears halting.
“Oh, baby.” Y/N coos, looking at the little peaceful girl lying in her arms. She feels Shawn linger behind her, heart probably bursting in adoration as he stares at his child.
“Shawn, remember when you, when you got that apartment for the first few weeks after you and Heather ended things?” Shawn’s not sure why Y/N’s bringing her into the situation but he nods nonetheless, hearing whatever she has to say out.
“I think…I think we should spend some time apart…just until things get better.”
“Y/N, please, you can’t-” She hears him cry out, she shakes her head, eyes focused on her daughter as she replies, “I married you, thinking you’d always be there for me.” She feels the emptiness of her tummy, knowing the pain she’s just gone through without him. And Shawn hurts a bit as he hears her next few words, wishing he’d never muttered them in the first place.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
@why-dont-wexo @theelfassassino @divinginfearlessly @moirinalison @ourlittleshawnie @mutuallynotmutual @spillthetea76 @ultrunning @livsalzy @ihearthockeyy @physically-im-fine @fangedmutant @perfectywrong @i-miss-you15797 @rubytersteege @sillygoopghostalmond @vxxn128 @sherriri @turtoix @macey-c123 @illuminatedestiny @joycelovedorial @bon-travail98 @peacedolantwins2 @madamebibi @choripxn @magnumstyles @gviosca @emmiemems @the-futureis-yours-to-create @mayadreamer-x3 @l-ivingformendes @accidental-miracle @lou-la-lou @skathan-omaha @angelpearl1998 @classicmendes @happyyy-soul @5sos1dandaustin4ever @fuckneymar @arypesanchez @lovel-unique-haven18 @kathrynnbone @kitty-mendes @mackenzie1221 @jdroman5432 @enjoymyloves @rollingxstone @callmemoonlight123 @gentleshawn @gangofhoes @shawnylovesmuffins @fabulousnesss @reignstyles @danieljames1998
yousharknotpass
andulkaphoto
annaxmalina
snowghoul
kianamaiart
pixelskylines
kaledo-art
