اسكندرية قادرة جدا تقهرك..
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@anasiamahmoud
اسكندرية قادرة جدا تقهرك..
But there’s something inside me that doesn’t feel right.
I wish this darkness comes to an end.. this sad feeling,, the stress.. the anger n the fear.. sometimes i cant fight anymore. Other times i can but now i feel like it s too dark that i cant breathe.. i fight i keep going and i try to look as happiest as i can but i cant.. the more it looks so the more depressed i feel.. something is missing. insecurities n lonliness are eating my soul. I m so scared.. deeply scared,
Lost n insecure..
يمكن هو ده الفرق ببساطة فيه روح مبتحتملش تجميل الجروح وروح بيعدي فيها الرصاص من كتر فتحاتها او من كتر إبر الخياطة ..
Everything is falling apart
It's only the end of the world..
I feel grief, depressed, insecure, unwanted and a huge burden. No longer wants to keep living, it seems pointless.. i forgive all of them.. but i dont care anymore and it hurts.. i dont get why death is that hard to be achieved, it s not a big wish.. i dont want to end it myself, i just want it to happen. It s heavy, that feeling is heavy.. now i m convinced that it was all my fault, i am the defected one.. i am the abnormal, the mistaken, the sick and the burden.. should not exist, it is not worthy anymore, it never was, i should have realized it sooner. I know no one, neither me. I dont know who m i and where is that and what i m exactly doing here.. i m not sure if this all was my choice, i m not valid for making choices, maybe it was just a coincidence, a random planning. I dont know who i am, and who is the person i was. I used to feel sad of people around cz they r not there, cz i need them, i need support and help, now i m not sure i m sad of them, maybe it s just too much to be handled, if one life is ruined no need to ruin another life to save the hopeless first one, it makes no sense. I appreciate the absence of anyone, i love them but i no longer need them, i luv mom by the way, i do luv her so much, i no longer blame her for anything, it was all my fault.. I appreciate their absence.. i m just a little scared, or too scared actually. I cant fix me neither blame them, that s why i wish if the suffer ends. I feel sorry.. I m so sorry actually for everyone.. i feel so sorry.