no matter how brightly I'd shine

all in ard.

[anathuthia]

'Anathuthia- the first of seven World Serpents.' 'The serpent truly was thmepitlkikiu, the death of language.' (Tess of the Road)

Welcome! This is the Nereids' Pool System's personal blog.

★For names, call us Aktaia if you don't know who's fronting. They/them pronouns are preferred if you don't know the pronouns of the alter fronting...(and you're under no pressure to keep track of that). We are 18.

★Feel free to ask for our Discord/SP/other socials!

★We sign off with tags, find a list of all our tags here

★What this blog is for: talking about events in our life, light-hearted complaining about our problems (the less light-hearted stuff goes on our seeeecret vent sideblog), the occasional fandom thing, maybe making friends?

★What this blog is NOT for: well-articulated discussion about things unrelated to Rachel Hartman's books, drama and discourse, anything NSFW, math. Math DNI

★Do not follow: basic DNI criteria, darkshippers, radqueers, NSFW blogs, under 16. If you interact while falling under the first three categories you'll be blocked. Endos and pro-endos are on thin ice (we do not believe in endogenic systems ourselves).

★Fun facts and other notes

we're very fictive-heavy (feel free to ask about sources)

most of us are sapphic, of those mostly lesbian

we're autistic

we're biracial (white & african american)

our timezone is EST

we play violin

it's usually okay to DM us about most things

we have cats. they're the best cats ever, no, yours don't compare

layout by us

[anathuthia]

I am going to get in so much trouble...I thought I had more impulse control than I guess I do. also note to self look into math tutoring tomorrow

[anathuthia]

banned

[anathuthia]

I am going to get in so much trouble...I thought I had more impulse control than I guess I do. also note to self look into math tutoring tomorrow

[anathuthia]

breathing secret words into my hands as if they'll keep the embers of my soul warm

[anathuthia]

hey. look at me. star gathering is the miracle of the night. gather a small and a large star to gain an eternal wish. all your problems will be solved, claire's memory will be restored. all you have to do is gather two stars! that's all!

[anathuthia]

sometimes I consider that nothing on earth matters at all. my life, yours, all of anything will never change everything. it doesn't matter how miniscule the chance of us existing is, because we exist exactly as we are somewhere else. it's the cosmological principle. homogeneity, everything is the same, nothing is special.

and what is that knowledge supposed to do for me? whether I live or die has no meaning, so should I live however I want? how far does anyone deserve to be allowed to go with that? what risks should I take? it doesn't honestly matter how much I contemplate that because regardless I'll still go about life in compliance with routine. I don't have energy for anything else. I love nothing, and love is the only thing that could make me change myself or routine.

the solution to these thoughts that feel too big for what I am (a small, fragmented piece of an even smaller theorized whole, an avatar of emotion and of fear) is always, every time, music. I enjoy all sorts of art, I really do, but absolutely nothing is like music. music feels like...hmm.

music feels like energy. the bloodstream of my emotions has no heart to pump it. everything sits in murky, tainted darkness, fading, but music is electricity to it. music wakes it all up. music allows me to feel something.

so far, I only know this to be true for me of listening to music, but this inability to feel things is a problem that pervades by its nature, and I've dealt with it before by creating music. I've dealt with intense feelings before in the same way. I wonder if there's a song I could write that could fix everything. maybe that's the answer that feels just out of reach lately. maybe that's the important thing I've been feeling like I've forgotten

[anathuthia]

I need to enjoy things again. maybe next year I guess

[anathuthia]

I don't know how I managed to get sick so suddenly? I was fine yesterday (not fine exactly, a little ill but we're always a little ill) but now I feel like there's needles in my throat and my nose is filled with gasoline or something

[anathuthia]

"half" is such a good song for no reason. genuinely. I listen to it and it's just good and other than the key and the familiarity I can't tell why. maybe it's just the key and the familiarity

[anathuthia]

please talk to us we are cool!

talk to us about THINGS! specifically give book recommendations please and thank you. and follow maybe. I want to make friends w/more systems in particular but if anyone shares any of our interests especially the more niche ones it would be cool to talk yes yes

media frequent fronters LIKE!

all of rachel hartman's stuff see url

the nevermoor series

vocal synths

revue starlight

madoka magica

mlp:fim and specifically equestria girls

revolutionary girl utena

steven universe

honkai impact 3rd

shinymas

watatabe

the case study of vanitas

the post-traumatic manifesto

yuuki setsuna (estella specifically)

unfortunately milgram

heathers

unfortunately danganronpa

honorable mention for bocchi the rock because kita layout (estella watched the anime, loved, moved on, did not forget)

[anathuthia]

would kill to make fried donuts right now. eat them, less so, but I do like making them a lot. they smell nice and the inevitable oil burn distracts me from the burn in my soul

[anathuthia]

nobody loves me and you think that's me exaggerating and going 'woe is me' and the like but literally nobody loves me. it's unfair

[anathuthia]

We didn't have white paint so I painted the black cardboard with silver metallic paint. I think it'll work (so I can put the blue on top of it) but really, wasting precious silver paint like this? It pains me. I also think we'll have to get hold of some opera gloves because I'm not sacrificing the clawed gloves for a cosplay of myself...

[anathuthia]

I'm so lonely that I think I'm going to have to blow something and myself up. I don't think there's another option

[anathuthia]

the most system song ever btw (and i will talk about why for an hour). i love it so much. if you remember nothing else please remember that i'm puppet by omaru polka's biggest fan

[anathuthia]

"evelyn how do i run a blog" "evelyn why is mikhail so violent" "evelyn who are you" how about you say hello first. impolite asses the lot of you

[anathuthia]

we have another blog? damn. this system is literally ripping me off. i can't believe you'd rip off hatsune miku like that