Just an artist who made an alt account so that I can simp, write fanfics, and indulge in fandom culture freely. Shyneanon on AO3. Author of The Skeleton Magnet and The Boss's Daughter. Swarple on YouTube, where I do art!
the most annoying people are people who don't understand storytelling. they be like "oooo how convenient that this thing happened to the main character in the very beginning". yeah no shit. that's why the story begins here
memes are fun and relatable and all that, but don't let them discourage you. all of that stuff that doesn't make it into the final product is part of how the final product gets made
"i wish i were easy to love" NOBODY is easy to love. people are complex and multifaceted, not two-dimensional concepts made up of three or four of their most palatable traits. loving someone (really, genuinely loving them) requires conscious effort and sometimes even a conscious decision, because if love was easy it wouldn't mean anything. you are not unlovable because you feel like you are difficult to love
And here the UF Sans version of the thing I just wrote like two hours ago LOL. I was finally struck with inspiration after a looooong time. I love writing one-shots.
Anyways. Here’s UF Sans helping Reader get out of a bad situation by… Well, by being himself.
—
OK, that car was definitely following you.
At first, you had tried to tell yourself that you were being paranoid. You could be paranoid a lot of the time. But it had been a while and the car was still going at an unusually slow pace.
You’d known it would be a bad idea to go walking so close to sundown. It was dark now, and there was no one along the sidewalk anymore. But no, you hadn’t wanted to miss your exercise. Idiot. And you couldn’t even go to your car, because your car was in the shop. You had taken a rideshare here.
There was a small restaurant just up ahead, though. A local burger place.
Knowing this was probably a bad idea, you began booking it down the sidewalk. The car, of course, sped up, but to your surprise it didn’t speed up next to you so that someone could grab you and yank you inside. You thought just being close to the restaurant would be your saving grace, but when you started to run through the lot, you realized that it was almost entirely empty. There were only five or so cars. And no one outside.
Please tell me they’re not closed.
You ran up to the front door and grabbed the handle, but when you pulled, it was locked. Only then did you see the big sign in the door that said they’d had to close early today. There was a leak or something. You peeked through the windows, but saw no one. You ran to the side of the building and saw another door, but it was for employees only, and there was no window outside. You decided to try it to make sure, but it was also locked.
Oh my God, I’m going to die. Or worse.
You heard the sound of the front door opening and started. You turned the corner, half expecting to bump into the driver of the car, but the stranger stepping outside didn’t even seem to notice you were there. And ohhhh my gosh.
Yes, they were a monster, but that wasn’t the part that made you hesitate to approach them, even as the vehicle you were running from pulled up in front of the restaurant. The part that made you hesitate was… well, everything else.
The skeleton making his way out of the building was of a shorter stature, sure. But he did not look particularly friendly. Like a lot of other monsters, he was dressed entirely in red and black, and he had extremely sharp teeth, which at the moment were preoccupied biting down on some fries he had carried out of the store with him. From the way the light of the street lamps glinted off one of those teeth, you could tell it was probably made of gold. His large eye sockets had little pinpricks of red light in them. This guy had clearly been in no shortage of trouble. Maybe approaching him for help would just get you into an even more dangerous situation?
Screw it, I’m gonna die either way, right?
You ran for the skeleton and, without thinking, grabbed the hood of his jacket. He seemed surprised, and then turned to look at you with a scowl.
“The fuck’re you—“
“Hi sweetie,” you said in a happy tone, which startled him into silence. “I didn’t know you were here.”
He looked baffled.
In a whisper, you explained your half-baked plan: “There’s a car following me. Please, please pretend to be my boyfriend.” You figured boyfriend might freak out the driver more than a friend.
He glanced at the car, then nodded.
Thank you.
He then surprised you by wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer. Your face grew warm.
“Sorry babe,” he said, giving you a lazy smile. “Shoulda invited you.”
Now that you’d heard him say a full sentence, you realized he had a Brooklyn accent. “No, it’s OK. I don’t have to be around for everything you do.”
“Yeah?”
He wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you up against him. Shorter stature didn’t mean he was shorter than you— he was about your height. Hey.
“Well.”
He winked.
“I missed you,” he said quietly.
Uhhh. A part of you was thinking you’d made a huge mistake.
The other part of you was thinking you’d made the best decision of your life.
“Let’s get in my car, yeah?” Another wink. The winks were surprisingly charming. “We can drive somewhere nice and lonely.”
One of his hands moved to the small of your back.
“Get tah know each other better,” he said in a low voice.
OK, now you were trying to figure out if this was part of the act or if he was actually proposing the two of you have sex. Like an idiot, all you said was, “Uh.”
“That a yes?”
Nevermind, you now knew the question was serious. Trying to keep up the act, you said, “H… honey, you know I have work tomorrow.”
“Alright, babe.”
Phew.
“Where’s your car? I c’n walk you there.”
Oh.
“Um,” you said quietly, “I didn’t come here in a car.”
One of his eyebrows quirked up and he grinned wider. Those teeth really looked sharp.
“Oh?” he said.
You realized your face was on fire. “I… I can just call a rideshare.”
“But I’m your boyfriend,” he teased, waggling his eyebrows. You tried to glare at him, but the grin had become less predatory and more playful, and his tone of voice was kind of silly.
It was kind of cute.
You peered over his shoulder and saw that the car that had followed you was no longer there.
“The car’s gone,” you informed him.
“Yeah, I know. It’s been gone.”
What? Your face got hot and you glared. “Then why are you still holding me?”
“Cuz you’re cute.”
Your face got hotter, much to your chagrin. He tilted his head.
“What’s yer name, beautiful?”
One of his fingers trailed along your back as he asked. You wanted to pull away… kind of. You could feel yourself getting comfortable in your current position.
“What makes you think I’ll tell you?” you asked.
Another silly grin. “What, you’re not gonna tell yer boyfriend yer name?”
“Ahaha,” you said, trying to sound as sarcastic as possible. “Hilarious.”
A low chuckle. The baritone of his voice was… yeah, it was kind of attractive.
Trying to sound as reluctant as possible, you told him your name.
“Yeah?” he said. “Cute name.”
Your face got hot again. Ugh.
“Name’s Sans.”
You raised your eyebrows at him. “Who said I cared?”
His grin became devious again. “Yer face,” he said. “It’s real red, baby.
That just made it worse. “Well, maybe if you’d quit flirting with me it wouldn’t be.”
“Do you want me to quit?”
You glared, but you were less mad at him than you were at yourself. Because unfortunately… no, you did not want him to quit.
“C’mon baby,” he said. “Lemme take you home.”
“You mean my home, right?”
“Yeah.” A wink. “Unless you wanna stay at my place for the night. I’d like that.”
You were pretty sure this was all behavior that warranted a big slap across his cheek, but for some reason you found yourself really enjoying it. Seriously? This idiot?
“You can drive me home,” you said quietly.
“You sure?”
… Aw. That was actually kind of sweet. “Yeah.”
“Kay. Just making sure.”
What have I gotten myself into? was all you could think as he led you to his car. Now that he had let go of you, you realized he was still holding the box of French fries.
“You held onto those this whole time?” you said.
“What, you think I was gonna waste good fries? That’d just be stupid.”
He held one out to you.
“Want one?”
You just looked at him.
Then you snickered and took it.
At least as stupid as he was, he didn’t speed while driving or anything. In fact, your conversation wasn’t bad at all. He told you a little bit about himself, you told him a little bit about yourself. He made bad jokes. Apparently he was a fan of those. Despite his demeanor earlier, you realized throughout your interaction that he was really just a huge goofball.
It was a nice surprise.
When you got home (you really hoped letting him drive you home wasn’t a mistake), he grinned at you.
“Watch this,” he said.
And he disappeared from the driver’s seat. Just disappeared. You blinked, confused. There was a knocking on the window behind you, and you turned only to jump and let out a small yelp when you saw him standing right outside. He laughed a little as he opened the door.
“How the hell did you do that?” you asked.
“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he said with another wink. “B’sides, that wasn’t the weird part. The weird part is me being a gentleman an’ holdin’ the door open.”
You smiled as you got out. “You’re a dork.”
“Rude. I’m a bad boy.”
“Psh. You wish.”
He closed the door.
“Hey baby, ‘fore you go… can I kiss ya?”
No.
“OK,” was what came out of your mouth. It was accompanied by a small smile and everything.
You idiot.
His eyelights got really big in what was, quite frankly, an absolutely adorable expression. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“Wow, lucky me.”
“Did you think I was gonna say no?”
A shrug. “Pretty much.”
Huh? “Then why did you ask?”
“Cuz I’m stupid,” he said proudly.
“You are stupid.”
“Guess you like stupid, then.”
Oh. He was probably right. Aw, man. You rolled your eyes.
“Now.”
Sans surprised you by getting ahold of your hips. His eyes had lidded.
“‘Bout that kiss.”
OK. It’s just a kiss. One, small kiss. That’s all he gets.
To your surprise, that was what he gave you. Sort of. His teeth pressed against your lips and you kissed back. It probably lasted a few moments longer than it should have, but he was the one who pulled away first.
“Was it that bad?” you joked.
“Nah, it was great. I just ain’t gonna try my luck too hard.”
A mischievous grin.
“Unless that wasn’t enough for you, sweetheart.”
Nope. You had the feeling if you started making out with him, you’d wind up in the backseat of his car. Seriously. This guy.
“Geez,” you said, “take me out to dinner first.”
“Well, I was gonna ask, but I guess the answer is yes.”
Wait, what. Your face got hotter than it already was. “Huh?”
“I wanna ask you on a date. Ya ever been to that burger joint before?”
You shook your head.
“Boy, you are missin’ out. Lemme take ya.” A wink. “Please.”
No. You are not going on a date with him. Your standards are not that low and OK who are you kidding you’re definitely going on a date with him.
He must have noticed you hadn’t said anything. “You worried?” A grin. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll treat you right.”
“OK, OK, I get it, you’re smooth.”
His eyelights got big again. “Your words, dollface, not mine.”
“Whatever.”
He dug his phone out of his pocket.
“Number?” he asked, in a very adorable tone of voice.
You sighed, like it was a great inconvenience. “Fine.”
“Score,” he said as he handed his phone over. That made you blush. You hated it.
You put in your number and handed his phone back. “OK, dummy. There you go.”
He looked excited, like a kid who’d been handed candy. Crap, he’s cute.
“I’ll message you when I get home, yeah?”
“You’d better not be a weirdo when you message people,” you said.
“Excuse you, I am a very respectful, well-behaved boy.”
“Yeah right.”
He snickered.
“Alright,” he said, “I’ll be outta your hair now.”
“Good riddance,” you said, trying to hold back a smile.
“Mean.”
He surprised you with a kiss on the cheek.
“I miss ya already, sweetheart.”
You looked away, your face flushing.
“OK, that’s too cute. I gotta get outta here or I’ll just stay forever.”
You smiled.
He closed his car door and then disappeared. When you leaned down to look through the window, he was back in the driver’s seat. You gave him one last smile and wave, and he returned it with a very sincere expression. Then you stepped back, and he drove off.
So I had a mildly unsettling dream last night and instead of reacting like a normal person, I was like “Skeletons make feel better.” This is normal and healthy.
Anyways, I finally have a fic dedicated to UF Papyrus! Yay! Already working on an UF Sans version of it, for fun, but I wanted to write Edge’s version first. Will probably post them both as one fic on AO3 too.
—
OK, that car was definitely following you.
At first, you had tried to tell yourself that you were being paranoid. You could be paranoid a lot of the time. But it had been a while and the car was still going at an unusually slow pace.
You’d known it would be a bad idea to go walking so close to sundown. It was dark now, and there was no one along the sidewalk anymore. But no, you hadn’t wanted to miss your exercise. Idiot. And you couldn’t even go to your car, because your car was in the shop. You had taken a rideshare here.
There was a museum just up ahead, though.
Knowing this was probably a bad idea, you began booking it down the sidewalk. The car, of course, sped up, but to your surprise it didn’t speed up next to you so that someone could grab you and yank you inside. You thought just being close to the museum would be your saving grace, but when you started to run through the lot, you realized that it was almost entirely empty. There were only five or so cars. And no one outside.
Please tell me they’re not closed.
You ran up to the front door and grabbed the handle, but when you pulled, it was locked. You peeked through the dark windows, but saw no one at the front desk. You ran to a couple of alternate entrances, but saw no one in those either.
Oh my God, I’m going to die. Or worse.
You heard the sound of the front door opening and started. You whirled around, half expecting to see someone heading straight for you, but they didn’t even seem to notice you were there. And ohhhh my gosh.
Yes, they were a monster, but that wasn’t the part that made you hesitate to approach them, even as the vehicle you were running from pulled up in front of the museum. The part that made you hesitate was… well, everything else.
The skeleton marching out of the building was tall. Like, probably almost seven feet tall. He was dressed entirely in red and black, and his teeth looked sharp. And to add to all that, he had a scar over one eye. Maybe his manner of dress would’ve looked kind of goofy, but right now you didn’t feel safe, so you weren’t sure if approaching him for help would just get you into an even more dangerous situation.
Screw it, I’m gonna die either way, right?
You ran for the skeleton and, without thinking, grabbed his wrist. He started and looked at you with a glare.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” he demanded. Man, he was loud.
You looked at him and explained the plan you had come up with in the span of half a second: “There’s a car following me. Please, please pretend to be my boyfriend.” You figured boyfriend might freak out the driver more than a friend.
He glanced at the car, then nodded.
Thank you.
You smiled like you were surprised, and exclaimed, “Honey, I didn’t know you were here. Why didn’t you tell me?”
The skeleton surprised you by turning red, presumably at the pet name. Unfortunately, though, he seemed to be having a hard time coming up with a response.
“I…” he said.
Dammit, come on. You decided to pretend like this was normal. “Sorry, do you still not want me to call you—“
You jumped when you felt one of his arms pull you closer and his teeth press against your lips. In a split second you went from nervous and frightened to embarrassed, your face heating up like a stove. Your first thought was that you should slap him across the face.
But you had to pretend you were dating.
Yeah. It wasn’t that you liked the kiss or anything. You just had to react positively.
So you kissed back.
He pulled you closer, and you closed your eyes. You kissed for a while, though you’re not sure exactly how long. You were, um, kind of immersed in the experience. You felt your hands run down his arms and found yourself enjoying the feeling of it. A few times you thought the kiss was going to end, and started to pull away, only for him to tilt your chin up and continue. You forgot why you were kissing him in the first place. You were too busy wondering what his name was. And if he was single.
Eventually it ended, though. You felt kind of dizzy.
What’s happening again?
Right, the car. You looked over and saw that it had vanished. You sighed in relief.
Uh.
“Thanks,” you told the extremely tall (and handsome? When had he become handsome?) stranger. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, though. Your face was still burning.
He didn’t say anything for a second.
“That was very nice,” he said, surprising you. The surprise got you to look him in the face, even though your face was hotter now.
“O… oh,” you said. “Thanks?”
The corner of his mouth quirked up in what you realized was a smirk.
“You are very cute when you are embarrassed,” he said.
Oh.
Man, this guy is hot.
“Thanks,” you mumbled.
He leaned in for what was definitely another kiss, but you forced yourself to stop him.
“I… I gotta get home,” you said.
He didn’t look upset or anything, but he did cock his head.
“Did you not like it?” he asked.
Your face flushed again. “N… no, I… I liked it.” You looked away. “A lot. I just… need to go home.”
He nodded, and his arms released you. Had they still been around you this whole time? Ugh.
“UNDERSTOOD,” he said.
“So,” you said, trying (and failing) to make eye contact, “who are you, exactly?”
He gestured to himself, standing up even taller. “I AM THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS!”
Whoo, was his volume typically this loud? You blinked a couple of times.
There was something about his big, proud smile that was kind of endearing, though.
“AND YOU ARE?”
Oh. Right. You gave him your name.
“IT IS EXCELLENT TO MEET YOU,” he said, holding out a gloved hand. The thought of a handshake was kind of funny after you had just spent what had to have been a couple of minutes making out with him, but you took his hand and shook anyway.
He looked over at where the car had been, glaring.
“WHY WERE THEY FOLLOWING YOU? DID YOU KNOW THEM?”
You shook your head. “Guess they saw me by myself and decided to be opportunistic.”
“DISGUSTING. IF I’D HAD IT MY WAY I’D HAVE USED FORCE!”
That would’ve been fine by you. Even if it would’ve been illegal.
Something occurred to you, and you smiled a little. “What were you doing in a museum?” He didn’t seem the type.
He beamed. “VIEWING THEIR EXTENSIVE COLLECTION OF OLD WEAPONRY! THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS IS AS MUCH AN INTELLECTUAL AS HE IS A FEARSOME WARRIOR.”
You stared, then bit the inside of your cheek.
Oh he’s so cute actually.
“IT IS NOT SAFE FOR YOU TO WALK BY YOURSELF!” For the first time during this conversation, he looked away. “NEXT TIME, YOU SHOULD… MAKE SURE YOUR REAL BOYFRIEND IS WITH YOU! FOR YOUR SAFETY!”
OK, usually you hated it when grown men did the I’m-going-to-mention-your-hypothetical-boyfriend-instead-of-just-asking-if-you’re-single thing, but considering his appearance and general demeanor, it was actually really adorable. You smiled.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you said.
You saw a small glimmer of excitement in his eyes (or, eye sockets).
“YOU DON’T?” he said.
You shook your head, your smile getting wider.
He scoffed. “RIDICULOUS! HUMAN MEN HAVE NO TASTE!” He folded his arms. “WELL, IF THEY ARE EITHER TOO STUPID OR INTIMIDATED TO ASK FOR YOUR NUMBER…”
His face turned red again.
“… CLEARLY, I WILL HAVE TO DO IT INSTEAD!”
He looked away.
“IF YOU WOULD LIKE THAT.”
Why is he cuuuute?
“I’d like that,” you said.
He looked back at you like he was surprised. “REALLY?” Catching himself, he backtracked: “I MEAN, OF COURSE, REALLY! THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS IS VERY HANDSOME!”
Curious as to what his reaction would be, you said, “Yeah, you are.”
His face flushed until it was beet red. He didn’t say anything, just grabbed his phone from his pocket and held it out to you.
Adorable.
You put your number in and noticed his hands fidgeting a bit. Like he hadn’t just kissed you. When you finished, you held your phone back out to him, and he took it.
He coughed. Skeletons can cough?
“EXCELLENT. NOW. DO YOU LIVE CLOSE BY? OR DO YOU NEED TRANSPORTATION HOME?”
Aw, was he offering you a ride?
Actually… you weren’t sure. He was still basically a stranger, and someone had just followed you in a car.
Then again, your only other option right now was a rideshare, which would also be a stranger.
Screw it.
“I do need a ride,” you said, “but you don’t have to—“
“NONSENSE! I MUST CONFESS THAT MY KISS WAS VERY UNGENTLEMANLY! THIS IS MY WAY OF MAKING IT UP TO YOU!”
You didn’t mind how ungentlemanly it had been, but he did genuinely want to drive you. So you nodded.
The two of you talked as he drove, and you learned some more about him. He used to work as a sentry, he had a brother. He had a cat, too, which just added to how cute he was. I can’t.
When you got home, you reached for the door handle.
“ABSOLUTELY NOT,” said Papyrus, startling you. “I WILL OPEN THE DOOR.”
OK, also adorable.
He got out of the car and opened your door.
“Thank you,” you said, getting out. You had to crane your neck to look up at him. “And thanks again for helping me. I genuinely could’ve died, or gotten kidnapped, or something.”
“DO NOT THANK ME,” he said. “THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS WILL ALWAYS HELP A WOMAN IN NEED!”
He lowered his volume to regular volume, which you realized was his version of whispering or mumbling.
“Would… it be possible for me to kiss you one more time?”
Definitely. You nodded.
He cupped your cheek and pressed a kiss to your lips. This one wasn’t nearly as long but it still sent a shot of amazing-feeling chemicals through you.
He coughed again.
“GOODNIGHT! AND… IF YOU EVER FEEL UNSAFE… YOU CAN CALL ME!”
You raised a brow with a smile. “I don’t have your number.”
He turned red. “RIGHT! I WILL TEXT YOU AS SOON AS I ARRIVE HOME!”
Im so glad you’re back! the new chapter was amazing, i love your fanfic so much :-) ur such an inspiration !! have a good day !
I’m so glad you liked it! (And an inspiration omg thank you 😭) I’m happy to be back. Hoping to write one-shots and post them here if I can think of ideas lol. You have a good day too!
okay reblogging this again just to say that i love love love reading these,, like it's so incredible how we're all doing such vastly different things at the same time...ik it's an obvious thing but it's also insane to think about.
The problem with being a Creative Person is I want to create all the things. I want to draw a little drawing. I want to write a fic. I want to write a book. I want to paint with watercolors. I want to paint with oil paints. I want to animate. I want to make something out of clay. I want to sew a dress. I want to play a song on the ukulele. I want to play a song on the cello. I want to play a song on the harp. I want to write a song. I want to write a musical. I want to make a webcomic. I want to make a video game.
I want to do EVERYTHING but I don’t have the TIME or MONEY or MOTIVATION
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