Come Into My Parlor

Welcome to my humble abode. I am Anatole Dalsgaard, (former) hypnotherapist and currently a man on the run. When I'm not being plagued by anons or trying to get the best of the Pep Squad, I do enjoy socialization.

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((Hey guys! I know I haven’t been here for awhile, and that’s for a very good reason; I’ve had no motivation for it. Plus, with my other muse out of commission, I haven’t had much of a reason to pull Ana out of hibernation. In all honesty, I’m super embarrassed by a lot of this blog for some older, questionable content I put here when I didn’t know better, and because of that I’m probably going to remake it. Ana’s a muse I only really use for things with my close friends anyway, so I figure it’s not much of a loss.))

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Herb lore. Herb lore??? Herb lore! HEEEEERB LOOOOORE!!! Herb lore. HERB lore. HeRb LoRe... Herb LORE? Herb lore!!!!

“I’m in Hell. This is Hell.”

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Fists taste like punching!

“Fish taste like evil and hatred!”

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For your indiscretions... INTO THE OCEAN!

“Or, and this is just a thought. No.”

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There are muffins arranged in a heart-shape on your kitchen table along with yet another note: "I hope you don't think I've forgotten you, love. I've missed you."

“...Why? Why me?!”

[sidestuiff]

Reblog if your muse is 40 or over

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themisfitmouse replied to your post: ((I’m not saying he has a human-sized birdcage for...

:o

((He’s so extra.))

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((I’m not saying he has a human-sized birdcage for revenge purposes, but...Ana totally has a human-sized birdcage for revenge purposes.))

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“You were being so careful too. Next time you think someone is following you. They probably are.”

“I swear to God, if you don’t let me go this instant I’ll have you killed!” Of course, even if he was let go, Ana probably would have killed the man anyway. He kicked wildly, blindly, as he was unable to see with that blindfold covering his face. He nearly kicked over the chair he had been so unceremoniously tied to, and thus decided to stop doing it. Still, this would not end well, for him or for whomever had taken him.

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amadeus-aerinstat:

“Yes. Every human is.” Ami conveniently left out, But I am not human.

“There’s stalking, and then there’s knowing. Yes I know what time you wake up every morning, I know what kind of automobile you drive, I know your cat’s name is Anastasia and she’s the only creature on this earth you respect and love, I know you have a bumbling sidekick named Simon that you regularly ignore unless he’s convenient. I know your targets’ names and where they live. But,” he chuckled again, “call me sentimental, I prefer to hear about the people I hurt from their own lips. It helps me know them better, and makes their downfall taste that much sweeter to me.”

There was something about the way he said “human” that deeply unsettled Anatole; despite often letting his pride and anger get the better of him, he was not a stupid man by any means, and he knew what the other was insinuating when he said it. While more than likely he was bluffing, it was still a disturbing thing to hear.

“Oh, but you tell the story so much better than I ever could,” he replied, nearly choking on his own sarcasm. “I know why you’re here. You’re no doubt either someone I owe money to, someone trying to extort money from me, or worse yet one of that girl’s well-meaning but forever-ineffectual protectors. Which is it?”

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“You were being so careful too. Next time you think someone is following you. They probably are.”

“I swear to God, if you don’t let me go this instant I’ll have you killed!” Of course, even if he was let go, Ana probably would have killed the man anyway. He kicked wildly, blindly, as he was unable to see with that blindfold covering his face. He nearly kicked over the chair he had been so unceremoniously tied to, and thus decided to stop doing it. Still, this would not end well, for him or for whomever had taken him.

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amadeus-aerinstat:

“A fluke, or the fact that you’re an incompetent fool?” Amadeus sneered. He appreciated the way Anatole’s face twisted; the sound of the knife grating was clearly getting to him, so Ami kept it up as he continued pacing. 

“What should we do first? Physical pain, although tempting, is so cliche, and I do want this night to be memorable. Perhaps I could get to know you a little better before the end?”

“I would watch who I call incompetent if I were you. Every human being has a moment of letting their guard down, myself included, but if I were truly incompetent I would still be in prison.” He tried to keep cool, but the sound was getting to him. Ironically, he knew it well, for it was one of his own tactics for psyching people out.

“You’ve been following me, haven’t you? Shouldn’t you know everything by now? Or are you as incompetent a stalker as you claim I am.”

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“You were being so careful too. Next time you think someone is following you. They probably are.”

“I swear to God, if you don’t let me go this instant I’ll have you killed!” Of course, even if he was let go, Ana probably would have killed the man anyway. He kicked wildly, blindly, as he was unable to see with that blindfold covering his face. He nearly kicked over the chair he had been so unceremoniously tied to, and thus decided to stop doing it. Still, this would not end well, for him or for whomever had taken him.

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The smaller man chuckled coldly. “Please. As if you’d even have the chance. You noticed, no doubt, how easy it was for me to snatch you up in the first place?” Regardless he stood a little ways away from him, keeping to the shadows in case he needed to make a quick exit.

He sharpened a knife noisily, slowly, as he paced around the chair, the hideous noise echoing off the walls in the empty space. “What to do first, what to do first… It’s funny, really,” he chuckled, “I’ve spent a long time wondering about this moment. I never realized you were stupid enough to actually get caught.”

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“It was a fluke and you know it!”, Ana hissed, voice dripping with hatred. “I allowed myself to get cocky and let my guard down, a mistake that I can assure you will never happen again.”

The sound of the knife twisted his spine in a metaphorical knot, not just for the sound of metal on stone. He tried not to show any fear, though it was a difficult task.

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“You were being so careful too. Next time you think someone is following you. They probably are.”

“I swear to God, if you don’t let me go this instant I’ll have you killed!” Of course, even if he was let go, Ana probably would have killed the man anyway. He kicked wildly, blindly, as he was unable to see with that blindfold covering his face. He nearly kicked over the chair he had been so unceremoniously tied to, and thus decided to stop doing it. Still, this would not end well, for him or for whomever had taken him.

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“Is the gun supposed to scare me?”

“Perhaps not the gun, but the person standing behind it. Unlike you, I’m ready and willing to pull the trigger.”

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everyonelovesaladythief:

The thief snorted at the words “temporary truce”. She shook her head, thinking she could still gather evidence… ask people to cover for her.

“Hah! Ya expect me t’ believe you’d make a truce with me? I don’t trust ya, Anatole. I think you jus’ wanna stab me in th’ back! Or shoot me, in this case.”

“I’m not stupid enough to actually shoot to kill you, you know.” His lip curled into an insulted sneer. “I know you have friends in high-or, I should say low-places, and more importantly, you have skills unlike any other in this world. I may get one of your knees to teach you a lesson, but I would never kill you.”

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“Mmph.Well…What kinda truce we talkin’ here? An’ why temporary?” She quirked up an eyebrow as she asked, expecting answers.

Honestly, it’s a foolish thing to make a deal with Lupin of all people. She could make off with what she wanted if she really cared. But she was in this to protect someone, and so she’d pretend to be good for now.

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“Neither of us shoots, both of us walks away, and we act as if nothing ever happened. I may call upon you from time to time for a job but it would be paid handsomely. As for why it’s temporary? You know as well as I do that our equally hotblooded nature will be the death of us.”

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“Is the gun supposed to scare me?”

“Perhaps not the gun, but the person standing behind it. Unlike you, I’m ready and willing to pull the trigger.”

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everyonelovesaladythief:

The thief snorted at the words “temporary truce”. She shook her head, thinking she could still gather evidence… ask people to cover for her.

“Hah! Ya expect me t’ believe you’d make a truce with me? I don’t trust ya, Anatole. I think you jus’ wanna stab me in th’ back! Or shoot me, in this case.”

“I’m not stupid enough to actually shoot to kill you, you know.” His lip curled into an insulted sneer. “I know you have friends in high-or, I should say low-places, and more importantly, you have skills unlike any other in this world. I may get one of your knees to teach you a lesson, but I would never kill you.”

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“Is the gun supposed to scare me?”

“Perhaps not the gun, but the person standing behind it. Unlike you, I’m ready and willing to pull the trigger.”

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everyonelovesaladythief:

“Yeh? I gotta good reason t’ shoot ya now. Kidnapped, so I can do it outta self-defense. An’ if ya die? Same excuse!”

Usually Lupin wouldn’t be threatening people like this, but she had a good reason to. “Anatole… you’re playin’ with fire. Watch yourself.”

“You forget, Miss Lupin, that you signed a contract. If you shot me now, it would never hold up in court as self defense. Besides...you’re a wanted criminal. Nobody would believe you. Likewise, if I shot you, they would lock me up forever.”

Anatole lowered his weapon slightly, still smiling. “I think it would be for the best if we declared a temporary truce.”

[pinesinthewoods-deactivated2023]

Do you ever see a post that you agree with on some level, but it’s worded in an aggressive and mean-spirited way, so you’re just kind of

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“Is the gun supposed to scare me?”

“Perhaps not the gun, but the person standing behind it. Unlike you, I’m ready and willing to pull the trigger.”

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“Wouldn’t be th’ first time I was shot. ‘Sides, if ya wanna keep yer jaw, don’t doubt what I’ll do.” Lupin furrowed her brows.

“My Walther will blast a damn hole in ya. No- multiple.”

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“I said I was willing to shoot,” Ana clarified, a smug grin spreading across his face, “not that I would shoot. I won’t, unless you give me a reason.”

He was trying to play cool, but really just wanted to save his own neck.